I find a lot of older women at work, who influenced by the times and expectations they came up in have really low standards.

One lady I work with 50s, stayed in a loveless marriage like 15 yrs. He wouldn’t even turn up the heat when she was cold at home, just put on a sweater. Says it was hard from the start but she thought it was supposed to take work. Also that she was so embarrassed to have to register her daughter at school and say she was a single mom. This was in America in the 90s.

I find a lot of them are greatly obsessed with what others think which kept them stuck in shit situations with LVM bc they felt pressured to live out societal expectations.

The attitude leaks into work too. It’s like they feel we just work and keep our mouths shut. When I’m trying to speak up in disagreement with certain forms of treatment etc, even when it doesn’t relate to them. It’s like they jump in pushing me to keep my head down. Shhhh. Don’t you know this is what we do for survival???

It’s like they’re secretarial pick-mes in addition to being pick mes in love, thinking we must do whatever to keep the job. I’m coming up in an age when people became millionaires off posting videos on YouTube. I don’t believe the office paradigm is the only form of livlihood and the way a person must live.

I feel bad for them bc I know times were different but I’m also annoyed bc some of them are terribly bossy and pushy about interfering in my affair to try and push those old strictures on me. They feel they’re correct and have a right to tell me how it goes as they’re older. Really they’re just misguided and I see where it’s hurt them.

Wild and kind of annoying but the attorneys they work for dont know or care about them at all even though some have been served by them 25+ yrs. These women want respect so they try to hide the more pick-me side and brush to appear demure and very professional and to be respected. Like the respect is all they have. It’s super important to them and very guarded. So these men go on and on about how powerful they are and what rocks. Really they are people who’ve allowed themselves to be professional mules in every arena of their life bc they were scared to ask for more or move differently.

I’m sad for them because I know they weren’t dealt a fair hand. But I’m also scared to become them if I don’t get out soon. I don’t want to be an intelligent women who spent my whole life in the service of a man- fetching for him and treating my needs and insights as secondary to his “big” ones