Hi Ladies,
Back in from the field with a fresh report. I'll spare you all the sordid details. Because honestly, I don't even know how to make *that* make sense.
But....I can share the lesson!
It happened unintentionally, but while I was "dating" I lost touch with just a few friends. Nothing major, just a few days.
In the meantime though, I was already sucked into this "person's" way of thinking and viewing life. It largely conflicted with mine. He attempted to convince me of the "normalcy" of his behaviors. It triggered my desire to be "understanding". Little by little, I was nodding along to what he said, and not what I knew was right.
Of course, I snapped out of it. Luckily, sooner rather than later. By the way....on your journey, you will still come across bums, losers, sickos...but the warning signs are MUCH CLEARER once you've familiarized yourself with FDS. That tragedy could have taken me *years* to get out of in the past. This time, it was just a few days and I pulled the plug. Kudos to me!!!
The point? It wasn't until I cut him off and got back in touch with my friends, that I realized how far off course I had strayed. When I saw their smiling faces, happy demeanor, calm, well-adjusted selves--I was reminded of what is really "normal", at least for me.
So long story short...Check-in with your friends throughout your dating adventures. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for sanity checks along the way. They are the folks who know us, at least better than any new person. It can be useful to use your friendships as a gauge for normalcy, reciprocity, respect, and admiration.
When in doubt ask yourself: Would my friends treat me like this? If the answer is no, then it's definitely not acceptable from a romantic/life partner!
