So...this is my first time posting here, I hope this gets through. :)

I recently got out of a relationship with a man roughly 7 years older than me, it lasted 1½ years. Looking back on how it all started I can say with utmost confidence that I will never let a man treat me like that again. I was in love and it made me stupid, but I have learned - late, yes, but never too late.

Here's some of that shit 🚩

  1. Not like other girls - what a classic. He constantly said I was great for being "special"(in comparison to other girls) and "not living in the matrix".

  2. He told me he liked me and 10 minutes into lying on the sofa together for the first time asked me "what would happen" if he put his hands down my pants. At least he asked, I guess. Still a big nope.

  3. He told me on day one that one of his no-goes was me "getting fat" as I lay on top of him, trying not to put my full weight on him. To me, a self-conscious person who was a bit chubby but definitely healthy. ((Guess who spent the next half year getting madly into dieting out of fear of losing him? Oof, cringe me))

  4. It's about a week into our relationship and he says "you'll give me deep throats, right?" I go "...mm no.." and he looks incredulous and says "yes!". Gross

  5. He openly told me he doesn't like vaginas. That in fact he's grossed out by them. Yaay

  6. He couldn't "feel anything" when putting it where it's supposed to go... I had not slept with a guy in over three years at that point, it hurt when he put it in and I definitely felt it. But he had probably deathgripped his dick so bad that a vagina simply didn't do it for him anymore. (He actually admitted to something along those lines).

  7. He told me he was grossed out by periods. Like, fine dude, you don't have to celebrate it, but it's part of me so don't say it's gross.

  8. He was very reluctant to meet my parents. Very. This 30something man, a dude who is perfectly fine conversing with folks, no social anxiety. He just couldn't be arsed

  9. We never went on dates anywhere. Ever. We ordered food and did things at home and I liked that, too, we went on walks...and oh yeah, he took me to the Zoo this one time when I was having a hard time, which is nice but I could never ask him to dinner or the cinema or anything like that. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a burden on me.

  10. He laughed out loud at men calling women "BITCH" and similar very nice scenes in Adam Sandler movies and their equivalents.

  11. He liked insulting me "as a joke". Sure man, it's always just a joke

  12. He complained about and made me feel bad for trying to discuss things that interested me with him. Meanwhile I always listened to him, even when the topics bored me, because I loved him. I even deleted reddit because he complained I was "reading up on so many rough topics". Joke's on him, I'm back and I'm free lol

  13. He shit-talked our mutual colleagues after he quit and while I was still working there. All of which are nice and decent people who always made me feel welcome.

  14. He didn't like my best friend because of her dating habits. Which were none of his fucking business but the bits and pieces I told him about her were apparently enough to condemn her.

  15. ...Ok so this one makes me laugh... He denied that the anime girl posing on his wall was sexualized in any way. Sure bro, she's an underage (but clone so it's fiiine) girl in a skin-tight latex and plastic suit that accentuates her teenage breasts, hipbones, thigh gap and ass, but it's not like that anime (Neon Genesis Evangelion) has a history of sexualizing every single one of its female characters. Sure.

  16. He never had a girlfriend before - at 30 years old. And listen, I'm all for giving people chances, which I did - but his reasoning was that he didn't find anyone interesting before me that actually was in reach and required no effort for him. I know this is true for a fact. So he didn't like most people and most girls, the "cost" of building a relationship with anyone who wasn't as lonely and introverted as himself and wouldn't bend over backwards for him was too high for him so he didn't bother until I came along.

  17. He had erectile dysfunction because he was so used to jerking off that doing it with a real person just didn't do it for him.

So yeah, that's my experience with a man with some LV qualities.

All of this is not to say that everything was bad, we had good times and I was actually very happy with him after a while - that is to say after I set some much needed boundaries - but especially the start was very rough and I think most women wouldn't have put up with him ( I though we had a genuine connection and he learned to care for me, or at least for the love that I was giving him). He supported me through some rough times when I was hospitalized for months.

That being said, I'm glad that I'm free. It's a big weight off of my shoulders ☀️ And this community helped me see! So thank you!!❤

Edit: formatting