The bare minimum.

onceuponasea · 2020-12-24T15:10:26+00:00

My ex would drive two hours to spend one night with me and then drive two hours back home, almost every weekend. He only asked me one time out of that entire year if I wanted to come up there or if I wanted him to drive down here, which I told him no, come down here, and he did without hesitation or protest.

What exactly does priority and effort look like? I guess if I have to ask it’s a red flag, right? My ex made effort to keep me around, he made sure to let me know that I was his priority and he didn’t want to mess it up with me. Even though he was sweet, very attentive to my needs, never raised his voice at me, always included me into his plans, etc, he was also lazy to himself, had poor mental health, and his only hobbies were video games. He was smart and had an extensive vocabulary and could stimulate me intellectually, and he always wanted to please me in bed.

As I write this out I think I’m honestly gaslighting myself, bc when I really think about it (and it’s painful to think about, I guess that’s why I ignore it) he never planned a proper date, usually came over between 830PM-12AM, would only Netflix and chill the whole weekend, sometimes I would even pay for take out dinner, he would sleep in until 3pm, and would want to just have sex all day and all night (and I didn’t really complain about that until way later when I realized that was ALL WE WERE DOING) oh and he had massive ED problems due to excessive porn use.

Ugh. The cognitive dissonance is hard to break out of. I was settling for the bare minimum.

Edit: typos

Title	The bare minimum.
Author	aWHOLEcheesepizza
Upvotes	309
Comments	7
Date	December 24, 2020 2:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kjgjck/the_bare_minimum/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-bare-minimum.434843 https://theredarchive.com/post/434843

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