Hi Ladies,

I (27f) recently ended things with a LVM (37) who I saw on and off for over a year. He was 9 years older than me (lesson learned), and apparently took this long to "figure out if he liked me or not". This was after meeting his family, friends, and spending several days per week together.

He was sterotypically verbally and emotionally abusive, putting down my job, ignoring me for days, going hot and cold, and getting angry when I wanted to discuss the relationship. In fact, one of his big issues with "why we wont work out" was because I asked too many questions about where things were going.

He also claimed to want a family and kids some day, so I truly felt like I was the one who didn't know how to have a relationship, and he was doing the right thing by biding his time for such an important decision (again, lesson learned).

He also was frequently broke, and asked me if I lived in "Low Income Apartments" after visiting me multiple times (spoiler- I don't, complex says luxury on the outside, but what if I did? That's a horrible insult to anyone).

I keep beating myself up because I think this treatment was MY fault, and I am crushed because I feel as if he will just treat the next girl like a queen. He refused to discuss his past so I actually do not know if there was ever a serious long term girlfriend, or girlfriends in the past of significant importance who may have had similar experiences.

My question is how can I move forward and stop this negative pattern of thought? I keep beating myself up that I was the cause of this.