I’ve joined seeking arrangement (aka sugarbaby website) two years ago. Little did I know that I could see the real side of men in general. The dark side. Most men only care about women’s looks. It’s sad to acknowledge this but there’s a reason why they’re going extra mile paying for the girl to sleep with them. Men are extremely visual focused animal so if they see what they like, it’ll tick them. And fat guys have lot of insecurities. They’re the ones who opt for women who’s more opposite of them.

Guys say they want independent, assertive women? Think again. Guys want independent women means they want emotionally independent women, who they don’t have to take burden on emotionally and someone they don’t have to support emotionally. And ofc, the girl has to look pretty also. And guys objectify women a a lot. Even fat ones say they like skinny or slim women there. And have specific criteria’s in looks.

You think the older they get, they get wise? Hmm, thank again. As they get older and accumulate stability with career and money, they’re not afraid to seek out girls who only fit his narrow standards. And lot of these olde man have zero social skills. I’ve met one olde men who wouldn’t stop talking for 3 hrs. I never in my life met a men who wouldn’t stop talking the entire time. Another guy was trying to test my knowledge so he’d ask Japanese writer and history. And he was still looking for another SB after six months as he couldn’t find the one. I also met one guy who reached out to me via reddit. He was so short and bald that I never could be intimate with him in million years.

***Also, I’ve come across so many, many attractive men on the side who obviously had personality flaws. Once I sent my selfie and he said he doesn’t like how I smile. And that same guy was still looking for another girl after few months. He thinks he’s a great catch since he’s relatively fit and good looking. But oh boy, with that personality he’s definitely LVM for sure.

So many good looking guys have obvious personality flaws and objectify Asians. And going to expensive fine dining places didn’t make me happy at all. Lot of guys I went out with, was trying to test me intellectually or was busy making comments on my looks, “ oh you’re so pretty on face but wish you were like x more”. And it’s very easy to be taken as HVM because of his status and money. I noticed American girls tend to be more status focused regarding men than other culture but ladies, pls vet & vet these guys more because you never know if guys like this will become your future partner. You really don’t want your future partner lurking on online sites looking for young girls to fuck behind your back.

I’d say after dating in nyc for over 4 years and meeting over 50 guys, 90 percent of the guys are LVM. I could see why divorce is so rampant here. Lot of guys can be really immature in private and I’ve had a guy who couldn’t manage his headache from drinking. So I had to walk him to emergency care.

And did being on that site add value to my life ? I was getting paid but I wasn’t happy. I always felt like I was losing part of me and becoming more far and far from who I wanted to be on spiritual level. As woman in late 20s it took me such a long time to realize this. But this is very important. Even though you have to look attractive to guys, don’t lose yourself. No matter how good looking or how much other traits you like in him, if you feel like you’re losing yourself, it’s not worth it. And mostly, dealing with these men, your vibrations will get hugely affected. It lowers your vibrations.

And even themselves are not even average on looks. They’re overweight or poor hygiene, low social skills. I’d wonder who married them and I could understand why these men are divorced.

Also in my country, they say that usually attractive girls who had their fair share of experience on men gets married to HVM. It’s so true. I used to think the smarter the girl is ( high education), she’ll likely meet HVM. Yes, there are better chances but it also means if she’s only focused on studies and not socializing with men, you’ll never know what kind of creature men is. That’s why first hand experience is important. If it wasn’t for my abusive ex, I wouldn’t have firm standards. I’m not supporting to date abusive guys but you should date guys to know them. Reading psychology books helps in general to know their mind. But always willing to drop these guys if they don’t serve you right.