31 M need advice

dran2 · 2018-07-03T08:59:13+00:00

We can't make this decision for you man. You're situation is complicated and no one is better suited to solve it than you.

Housuaq · 2018-07-03T08:51:42+00:00

Once you will need her in the future she will leave you without batting an eye. DONT BOTHER.

_OHReally_ · 2018-07-03T09:42:36+00:00

You're never alone brother. Don't do this shit. If you need someone to lean on, talk shit or just want a laugh, hit me up. I'll be here. And I'll bet pounds to peanuts there's a hundred guys like me who are more than willing to spend some time shooting the shit and solving the world's problems with you. You ain't alone. Reach out, we'll be here.

dran2 · 2018-07-03T08:58:32+00:00

I scanned through your posts bro and you have had a sad go of it. I hope you pull through and decide to focus on making yourself the best you can be. Sometimes when faced with a choice you can slow things down and let them play out over a longer period of time. What’s the Rush with the arranged marriage? Why not see if it’s something you want first before going ahead with it.

cafeorange · 2018-07-03T09:53:28+00:00

Hi Sir i empathise your situation however im sure youre not here for this. I acknowledge that you require someone to take care of you when youre older. And im sure that someone is to carry out the duty professionally rather than someone out of "love".

lunatictothecore · 2018-07-03T10:10:21+00:00

If you want to get married have you considered a prenup?

UmbrellalikeWetness · 2018-07-03T10:44:36+00:00

I feel much less lonely now that I am away from my marriage. So just don't go into it thinking it will fix a loneliness problem, there's no guarantee that it will do that.

jimba22 · 2018-07-03T09:02:12+00:00

Looking through your posts, I think the most important thing, is to figure out wether or not marrying this women will do you any good, for all you know she could just make your life more miserable

Shimakaze4 · 2018-07-03T11:35:35+00:00

Women don't love you, they just love what you can do for them. You need to concentrate on yourself first and foremost.

goodbeertimes · 2018-07-03T13:12:53+00:00

You said you suffer with depression. That's hard. I agree with another poster that your situation is complex enough that you might want to take a broader view and really think through this and arrive at your own decision.

Having said that, it depends on your risk appetite.

Are you from a culture that still has stigma around divorce? I mean if you look around you how likely are you going to find a broken marriage. That gives you a kind of bayesian prior to the odds of your marriage being successful.
If you are alone, you've got one problem. You know it. You can plan to deal with it. If you are married, you have no idea how many problems will you have - children, financial indulgences, debts,social constraints etc
Now comes the important part. If you are married, you are investing hard cash into a relationship for several years in hope that you receive intangible emotional support at a later date. This is a derivative market and is full of speculation. What if the family you invested in refuses to provide such support? Now you've got no money and no honey.
If you aren't married, you could at least save up the money and use it to pay for your medical needs when you go old. This is the money you wouldn't be having if you choose to invest in your marriage. Now this implies you need to let go of your fear of being alone. You need to let go the fear of death. It's not hard. See if your shrink can help you with psychedelic experiences with either DMT/LSD/Ayahuasca. I have read a lot that such experiences will free you away from the hard questions of life such as death. But let me caution do it under medical supervision since you are predisposed to depression

As someone who've taken these risks and lost almost everything, I wish someone gave me the advice I am giving you now. Be strong, bear the cross!

EDIT:

One thing that I didn't seem to address directly though it is implied. You are making assumption that you will get companionship, not experience loneliness and so on. Boy, you should check these assumptions well for yourself. I've seen ton of marriages where a man is lonely and is fucking paying for it. There is a high chance you'd experience loneliness in a marriage. There is something about women that I can't put a finger on that they expect you to shell out cash or something they find it valuable before doling out semblance of affection, which anyway isn't even when you are married and paying for every grain she eats. And there is only so much cash to go around, irrespective of how much cash you'e got. So there is only so much of companionship to go around. Be prepared that there is a cap on it.

dran2 · 2018-07-03T11:18:06+00:00

[deleted]

2018-07-03T11:33:33+00:00

Your whole message is weird. If you have mental problem right now, why don’t you wait until you feel better before taking such an important decision.

If it’s your family send them your psychiatrist report, buy some time. But you’ve got to get out of there.

You also should be suspicious of a woman that is ready to marry you when you’re the most vulnerable this woman if you marry her will control you an poison your life believe me.

JackSkell0255 · 2018-07-03T17:31:47+00:00

Adding another stressor in your life will not help your depression.

In my case, at least, simplifying ones life was a better coping mechanism.

And, if you think of it this way, how unfair is it to her to expect her to deal with this for the rest of her life?

It won't work to expect her to be a support mechanism to you, she will only resent you and things will go badly in ways you can't visualize yet.

dran2 · 2018-07-03T20:30:54+00:00

[deleted]

Watsemann · 2018-07-03T10:58:05+00:00

How are your laws, local rumors about woman and her? The decision has to be made by you in the end or you get cucked into something. Despite the general bad reputation of woman here many of us live outside of the US where woman can be a good company. If you are willing to commit just don't forget that to keep your head up. You aren't her atm or taxi. Keep time for yourself and it may be work

Title	31 M need advice
Author	dran2
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	July 3, 2018 8:49 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/8vqnoe/31_m_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/31-m-need-advice.532203 https://theredarchive.com/post/532203

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