A query / a plea

Im posting from a throwaway; I did try to check the rules before posting but apologies if I misunderstood these and this post is in contravention of them.

TL;DR: Hope of success with female friends? Do any of you have female friends with whom you align on many of the important issues?

I probably ought to begin with a confession: I am a woman.

I have been aware of the subreddit for some time and had misconceptions about what it was about. I didn’t take issue with its ethos or anything I just was under a misapprehension as to the motivation behind the concept.

I found my way here today from another thread and read this: Q & A. Is this representative of the majority here? I find this completely inoffensive. As a child of divorced parents (a perfect father and an imperfect mother), I have long since been acutely aware of the injustices of custody arrangements following separations/divorces.

This next bit is a personal anecdote which can be skipped: Though I will never personally feel the anguish of fathers in those situations, I remember being the child of father on the back foot in separation/custody proceedings as though it were yesterday. I was very young but I will never ever forget the threats I overheard my mother make and, over twenty years later, I can still see her through that lens only. I love her of course, but there’s only so much you can like a person whom you’ve seen behave in such an egregious manner. My mother actually wasn’t even that badly behaved in comparison to some of the stories I’ve read/heard about since; she loses her head and says things she doesn’t mean and ultimately, she didn’t try to keep my father and I apart, ever, but the dye was long since cast by the time my father and I realised the threats of ruling with an iron fist were empty.

Anyway as to the other points advising men not to marry, I mean that seems to me to be axiomatic. Divorce settlements (in most countries that I’m familiar with) are a scourge. The notion that a party should be kept in the manner into which they’ve become accustomed through marrying well, no matter how ephemeral the marriage, well it’s anathema to me.

Much of the other bit of the Q&A as to MGTOW being voluntary & not involuntary, I already understood that.

I found the part about women’s rights issues refreshing. I don’t have the the luxury of not caring about ‘feminist matters’ because as a female, these groups purport to represent me. So I can’t really ignore the issues as they annoy me so much. I was sent to a good all girls’ school and I can honestly say that I never ever ever questioned that men and women were equal, nor was I ever made to feel that there were barriers to my being an engineer or whatever other fields there are now movements to get women into, other than lack of aptitude for, or interest in, whatever the discipline was. It was probably only with the rise of the internet that I became that certain women are very very very vocal about their ‘oppression’. When these movements gained traction, that’s the first time I thought to myself ‘wow maybe women are inferior to men; this ‘logic’ is so lacking in reason it’s hard to believe it’s not a joke’. And so now when I meet new males, and the context is informal, I feel like I have to offer a disclaimer that I’m not going to become hysterical / or take offence such that they’ll act as close to their normal selves as is possible. It’s the fear of being tarred with the same brush that precludes me from indifference to ludicrous campaigns regarding the ‘wage gap’ or other imaginary hurdles the relevant groups perceive. I would love the luxury of being indifferent to the matters frankly, so I understand why the Q&A states that you are. Why I find your stance refreshing is that I do try to follow other anti-feminist sub-reddits but they sometimes come across as a bit whiny.

So the ‘many MGTOW will avoid women entirely’ is why I’m posting. I checked the subreddit for posts by female proponents/supporters of the movement and it was lots of posts about ‘don’t fall for women claiming to be red pill’, etc., or ‘they’ve got acronym for whatever the women dodging men movement is, they don’t need to be here’ and I have a number of things to say/ask about that.

So the first is I will certainly concede that women who find other women to be boring / tiresome & who are entirely dismissive of all silly feminist fantasies is very low. I have yet to find someone as ardent as myself (I’m aware I’m coming across as nOt LiKe OtHeR girls, apologies).

As for whatever the female version of resisting compliance to societal norms is, but what about women who tend to dislike women but are sociable so then must have male friends (especially those who remain the same whether single or in a relationship and who don’t pander to their gfs / silly feminist movements)? I am not speaking about the subreddit I understand why women aren’t welcome here but I mean in real life. Do any of you have good friends who are female? Would you? I am not going to advocate for seeking out female friends as the only ones I do have are ones I’ve known for my whole life (nostalgia / shared experiences factor), I haven’t gained a new one in years. There are girls whom I don’t mind at all really, I just wouldn’t choose to hang out with them / talk to them. But do any of you not rule it out entirely but just remain extremely sceptical? I ask females’ opinions on i) wage gap, ii) nü rape / ‘believe women’ (modifying consent after the fact if drunk) iii) divorce entitlements iv) differential male / female aptitudes / the reasons to which they ascribe majority male professions etc., to gauge the extent to which I should avoid the person in question or conceal my views by answering ‘I don’t know anything about politics/ tangential topic’ on account of the high probability of a clash. I do it it to men to a lesser extent if I suspect ‘white knight’ types - they can be the worst in my experience. Maybe if you ever meet a promising female you could conduct a similar but more exacting screening?

I guess I just felt a bit disheartened when I read the Q&A and agreed with the points and realised the reality that the woman avoiding means me & other like me, too! A lot of my male friends are pretty switched on & have pretty reasonable opinions (in my view, of course) buy they’ll still view me as being more staunch than them (I think that’s sometimes because I can get away with voicing opinions about women-topics as a female that males can’t without having some facile ‘bigot’ characterisation levelled at them) but I have a few wishy-washy ones and I frequently get told that I’m extreme in my views and that ‘I can’t think straight because I am so determined to dislike women so much’. I suppose I was saddened to learn that, were I to meet a staunch MGTOW in the wild who likely wouldn’t view my opinions as extreme, he wouldn’t find me credible in my views, if we ever even got as far as talking. It removes all hope that I’ll ever meet a person who is as categorical on certain issues (issues that I consider important) as I am (I don’t mean meet romantically, I mean meet a friend).

Sorry for the rambling, I realise a point hasn’t quite coalesced. I suppose I’m just trying to establish if any of you have been able to forge meaningful friendships with females on the basis of agreement on some/all of the Q&As or consider it within the realms of possibility?