A question for you guys

GrisBosque · 2020-01-17T19:04:00+00:00

Well... I've been there and done that, kids are fun between three and twelve years old. Wives are fun once a month if you are lucky.

And also really unfun at least once a month, with sometimes that being absolute misery daily.

And this is just not a good time in history for relationships or having kids.

Theres really so many other things you can do with your life that are rewarding.

Like ask yourself what you would do post divorce? raising kids is very temporary at best, and marriage is getting more temporary every day...

So why take the hit first? why not avoid the mine field entirely? Or you just gotta go in there and no one is gonna stop you?

Your chances are probably better on the Korean DMZ....

Wheel chairs and prosthetic legs, and even coffins, are way cheaper than divorces..

The only thing you could hope for on the DMZ would be to get your nuts blown off, so you could start to think straight.... sad but true....

Somerandomguy5800999 · 2020-01-17T19:07:42+00:00

It's hard man. I've struggled with depression because I've always though, what the fuck is the point.... of life in general.

Is it to be happy? because that's the only thing I can think of. We live in a world where money is power so personally i'm taking the FIRE route and I'll play video games and better myself when I'm not working. I've been learning a bunch of new skills, playing sports is a big one too.

Then I'll retire and travel the world to help other guys already on the right path. idk what after that. As cliche as it sounds I can't tell you what the meaning of life is, you have to figure it out yourself. It's subjective, but I personally love helping other (good) people, so that's what I'm gonna do. (and make a bunch of money so I can retire early and get out of the system :)

Make a shit ton of money, retire, travel the world relaxing and helping people. Sounds like the life to me.

Original-Border · 2020-01-17T19:02:25+00:00

Learn to live for yourself. Everything you do should be for you.

faltHes · 2020-01-17T19:14:20+00:00

Being a strong father and husband was a dream I had for a long time too, from high school age up until about when I was 27 or so. Knowing that if I don't have a successful family built up, that my family's legacy dies with me. Knowing that I won't imbue good morals into the next generation without kids of my own and a supportive wife.

It just took some time coming to terms, and it's on ongoing thing. Cheers friend

captainsaveahoe69 · 2020-01-17T19:27:50+00:00

Trust me its overrated. Ease the suffering of others, that will give you meaning.

veasel79 · 2020-01-17T20:49:52+00:00

The fantasy in your mind is very different than reality. Been there, did the marriage and kids thing. It’s not like the image U have in your mind or what movies portray.

Marriage is rarely fun, unless being reminded of just how inadequate your shear existence is your thing. Imagine walking up everyday and having to listen, compromise, garnish approval for every little thing you do/say/or think, follow that up with fingers crossed nothing tragic befalls you in life cause she’s out brother idgaf what anyone tells u ! Then you get financially assed up by the court system.

Kids are fun like a other commentator said from approx. 3-12 then not so much, sure I love my kids and wouldn’t trade them for anything but you and just YOU will raise them, modern women have zero interest in parenting beyond the attention high they receive from a new born so once the child achieves 3/4 it’s all you and she’ll want to add another for no reason other than to garnish more attention and repeat the entire process. Also once it ends (which the odds are great it will) you now get to fight just to see your kids, she can and will slander everything about u ! You now get to be like the other countless men out her labeled “toxic” doesn’t matter what you did or how you treated her and the kids.

The idea of family is awesome for sure, having the loving wife and adorable children are what almost every guy wants but it’s not real, it’s just good marketing.

🍻

Batman_MGTOW · 2020-01-17T23:20:35+00:00

You need a good career that you dont hate doing so you can afford the lifestyle that you want, to get that you need to either get a valuable college degree like electrical engineering or go to tradeschool to become either a plumber or an electrician. As for what to do in your free time, you need to have hobbies, they can be anything but if you want real meaning they cannot be a passive act, so skiing or snowboarding in the winter would be a good idea, you could also go hiking, swimming, running, bicycling, or you could do team sports with a group that you meet every week. Other good hobbies would be creative hobbies like playing guitar, piano, violin, drums, bass, or any other musical instrument you can think of. You can also start reading more books. You can also draw or paint. The possibilities are really endless but what you should definitely avoid doing is just watch netflix all day, because that is what most people do and not only is it very unproductive but it is also not very stimulating for the most part and will never bring you true fulfillment, I still watch movies and tv shows once in a while but if I binge for too long I start to feel like I have no purpose. Also, exercising will help you fight this lack of purpose because it fights depression and boosts testosterone. And to fight loneliness, you will need to build your social circle because you will find that this need for companionship that we often have actually comes from a desire to be more social, that is because as humans we are social animals, so if we stay isolated from other people for too long, we start to feel like something is missing.

Unexpecter · 2020-01-17T19:30:57+00:00

Raising a family is something I've dreamed of for some time.

Think about why do you dream about this. Is this a desire you've been born with, or just an indoctrination?

DavidLoPan13 · 2020-01-17T19:34:12+00:00

I had always wanted a family til I was about 30. By then I had seen and experienced too much shit. I don’t even view it as something I want anymore. It looks like a nightmare. I know people that have wanted to kill themselves after the divorce rape.

EqoRoulette · 2020-01-17T20:00:19+00:00

I like spontaneous casual competitions.

Is that guy a faster operator at work?

Operate faster than him.

Someone is swimming faster in a lane pool?

Aspire to become a better swimmer.

I'm currently working on optimizing the taste of my cheesy potatoes.

DangZagnut · 2020-01-17T20:14:59+00:00

I just never dreamed of family and that nonsense, so my "meaning" have always been devoid of women and familial entanglements.

I just focus on trying to be happy, which might be from anything.

ShowMeWarFace · 2020-01-17T20:29:11+00:00

Meaning in life is a highly overrated concept. I'm perfectly content doing my own thing and trying to make more money every year but as far as a grand purpose I don't have one nor do I feel that I need one

drago8452 · 2020-01-17T20:39:39+00:00

Right now for me, I want to learn Japanese.

Without having to pay crazy tuition prices. It's certainly possible. Lots of ways to learn things on your own. Lots of free learning materials available.

Then after that, I want to do some translations and subtitles for some old movies that I have that were never translated or subtitled. I've got some things that I've successfully moved over from LaserDisc (LD) to x265. Now it's just a matter of getting them translated and subtitled.

love2travel4peace · 2020-01-17T20:39:57+00:00

No.

Chances your relationship will not last long enough to raise children. At best, if the courts let you, you'll have weekend visitation and co-parent. Otherwise, you'll just be an ATM for your ex.

The risk doesn't outweigh the reward.

Stay woke my friend.

2020-01-17T21:02:08+00:00

I'm also a uni student and like you, and get daily reminders of complete and utter thottery. Just call my campus sodom and my dorms gommorah.

My sense of meaning is mostly just the simple things in life . I eat out at nice restaraunts(can't cook for shit), work out, smash a random thot every now and again. Rinse and repeat. Sure having a traditional family is I might have thought about, but then I remember that doing so is completely impossible nowadays.

edgysecularist · 2020-01-18T02:54:08+00:00

Beat the simp out of you because this "family" is a blue pilled fantasy, its best to work for yourself

GreetingsFromErf · 2020-01-17T19:18:27+00:00

I get it. It sucks to be where we are at. Consider adoption. I've heard some advocacy for hiring a surrogate to carry the baby and buying an egg from yet another woman so that neither of them have claim over the baby. Sounds expensive, but it might be the only shot you have of propagating your DNA while retaining legal custody of the child.

mikeysixpointsix · 2020-01-17T19:31:38+00:00

The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t a search for meaning. It’s to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually you’ll be dead. -Mr. Peanutbutter

Somerandomguy5800999 · 2020-01-17T19:34:45+00:00

[removed]

TooAwareToCare · 2020-01-17T19:37:30+00:00

I’ve stopped searching for meaning as I found it torturous

What even is meaning?

Why not just enjoy life?

I can still impact the world, I don’t have to find this abstract concept as meaning

If you want meaning, do what is meaningful.

DO

just existing can be meaningful dude. Trust.

Islamrightaboutfems · 2020-01-17T19:49:13+00:00

"Raising a family is something I've dreamed of for some time..."

You cultivated this, you planned, dreamed, prepared... Call what you want, but the main thing here is YOUR FOCUS, just change to something else and with time your dream will change. To me it was very freeing when one day, while meditating, I just realized that the family man was not a part of my persona any more, a great sense of liberty as well as achievement to let go of something that TODAY I consider a burden.

FeedMeMore22778534 · 2020-01-17T21:25:51+00:00

OP read my mind, must be a solid dude ✊🏼

myowndrum00100 · 2020-01-17T22:56:28+00:00

A family isn't all it's cracked up to be. I had one and my ex wife drove me nuts, and that was before she became a cheating whore. Throw in a step kid and a one we made and holy hell.

I'm a halftime single dad now. Daughter is a pre-teen. I love her to death, but a lot of days I want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.

I certainly wouldn't go back in time and make it so she doesn't exist, not at all. And there are a lot of great things about having a child. But to those without kids, believe me. Not having kids is pretty fucking epic. The moment you have a milk maggot as a divorced guy (and let's face it, you're gonna get divorced no matter what you do) you're tied to the location the mother lives because that's where the little maggot goes to school.

You gotta think it through to the very end, my friend.

thewho2326 · 2020-01-18T00:59:18+00:00

Start a business get some hobby's and pursue your wildest dreams I was divorced raped 2yrs ago found mgtow and own 2 bussiness and am close to getting my Physican assistant degree oh I've been monk since then

2020-01-18T01:19:30+00:00

If you desire a family, then start one. But I would suggest you don’t do it in the West, because Western mentality will destroy your family, and going thru that will be very hard.

May I suggest you bust your ass to have a good job and save until your late 30s. Then you can go start a family in places that value family values, like SE Asia or Latin America.

tundahouse · 2020-01-18T01:34:54+00:00

Hi, I know you may not want to hear from me being that I am a woman. But your post really called to me. I hope I’m not overstepping a mark here but I just wanted to say that you sound like a lovely young man and really hope you find the one you’re looking for. Try and find someone whom holds the same morals and values as you do. I’m not going to lie as that may not an easy task looking at what is going on nowadays in this world. I have been with my wonderful husband for 15+ years. From age 22 to 38 next month. We have certainly had our ups and downs but the ups have been far more frequent than our downs. Could honestly count on both hand how many times we have argued in that time. We have both worked on our relationship, compromised and ensured that we faced every problem as a team. We learned long ago that it wasn’t beneficial for either of us to fight each other and the problem, but that handling a problem together brought us closer together. I’m only wanting to give you a glimmer of hope that there are still some good people in this world of crazy. I was a single mum of a wonderful son when I met my husband. My ex-fiancé and I were simply looking for different things after our son was born. He chose that time to go out party and sow his oats so to speak. We simply grew apart. I was celibate for 2.5 years from breaking up with my son’s dad to meeting my husband. I unfortunately had awful experiences being raised by my mum and the crazy and abusive men she brought into mine and my brothers life. I decided long ago I would never put my child through that and simply concentrated on being the best mother I could. My husband has been an absolute amazing stepfather to my son and we have 2 daughters of our own. Could not ask for a better father for our kids. Both our girls are the apple of his eye and he has a great relationship with my son. My ex and I although being apart have had a great relationship and respect for one another and our son was never used as a weapon. He didn’t pay child support and I left the house we bought with only my clothes and things for my son. What I’m trying to say is not all women will use and abuse you and keep your kids from you should your relationship not work out. My ex and I along with my husband raised a wonderful young man whom recently turned 18years old. We’ve remained cordial throughout this time and my son has never heard a bad word against his father within our home. I’m just trying to say, find someone whom has good solid morals values. Take your time and don’t jump into anything serious until you are 100% sure that the person you choose also wants from life what you want. At times friends question why I ask my husband if it’s ok if I do xyz or buy xyz despite the fact I’ve always worked and contribute to all household bills they believe I’m being ‘oppressed’. I believe I’m giving my husband his place and if he says no it’s a no. Simple to me. I respect him and his boundaries as he does mine. Find someone whom respects your boundaries and does not push to change them. It’s ok to compromise but not if it goes against what you feel deeply about. Raising children is not for the faint of heart, they are challenging and can be outright crazy but honestly it’s also some of the most wonderful time you’ll ever spend particularly their early years. You’ll never feel a love the same as you feel for your children. Sorry for the novel. I wish you all the best in your studies and hope you find what you are searching for whichever way that presents itself to you

Title	A question for you guys
Author	Somerandomguy5800999
Upvotes	39
Comments	49
Date	January 17, 2020 6:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/eq4lgo/a_question_for_you_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/a-question-for-you-guys.642414 https://theredarchive.com/post/642414

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