I just ran across this post from a deleted account. I have never heard the term Alpha Widow before. From my 40+ years, this really sums up what I have seen of women who settle down after their late 20's to early 30's.

"Another huge problem that men run into is if they make the fatal error of picking up these women after they've spent their youth being irresponsible and dating bad boys is that they'll end up getting the shiv in the form of a messy & expensive divorce for making the mistake of committing to an "Alpha Widow". Most women over 30 & single that lived that kind of lifestyle end up as one eventually, which is just another reason why guys prefer younger women.

So, for the sake of this conversation let's arrange Sexual Market Value (SMV) in percentile. 90th percentile is top 10%. The typical Western girl in her 20's isn't looking to settle down, she's looking to have fun. Let's make a hypothetical girl: we'll call her Jane. Let's say Jane is a fairly okay but still very average girl, we'll put her at 60th percentile at the age of 22. Jane likes to sleep with guys who are 80th+ percentile. These guys don't mind stooping downwards because guys love sex and for them, she's just another plate to spin that didn't take that much effort.

Once, she even was a plate for a guy who was 95th percentile. A real top dog. She didn't even make this guy wear a condom. He's handsome, in shape, wealthy, has a nice apartment, an expensive car, and big in the pants. He's sleeping with a lot of other girls at the same time. She doesn't care, because most girls would rather be one of many in the harem of an Alpha, than the one and only of some creepy Beta. He bangs her for a few weeks, then moves on.

This guy is now her high water mark for the kind of guy that she thinks he can get. But her fatal flaw is in assuming that she could ever get such a guy to commit to her. This kind of guy will bang, but that's it. Why would a 95th percentile guy commit to a girl like that? Are you kidding me? No chance in hell. But he'll use her to "take a load off" every now and then, no doubt about that.

Fast forward 10 years. Now she's 32. She's gotten fatter, started to get wrinkles, she's less fun and cheerful than she was in her 20's, and generally less attractive. Let's now say she dropped in value to a man: now let's say she's 40th percentile. However, in HER mind, she's increased in value: She now has a master's degree in women's studies and a 32k a year job working in HR and two cats - this is a woman on top of her game! She now decides it's time to settle down because that biological clock is ticking.

But she finds that any of the type of men that she wants won't commit to her. She's used to banging 80+ percentile guys (remember that one who was 95?) and therefore imagines that this is the type that should marry/commit to her. But the reality is now that she's looking at guys who are double her SMV. Men who are equal to her SMV, she sneers at because they're "creepy" and "gross." She could do better. She knows it! She's just awesome, obviously. Every man, all her friends, her parents, media, music, and everyone else in society has been telling her since she was a toddler that she's awesome and great and perfect. Obviously it must be true. And that's why she "dated" so many hot guys in her 20's.

But nevertheless nobody will commit to her. Why are men such jerks?! Where have all the good men gone?! The world has wronged her. She's a victim. She's owed something that she isn't getting, and it's men's fault, because they're the ones not giving it to her.

Now she's 35 and realizes she has almost no time left to have kids. She marries a guy who is equal to her SMV. Another 40th percentile. He's not a bad guy, and there's nothing specifically offensive about him, but he isn't in shape, handsome, interesting, smart, or wealthy. Never mind the fact that she herself is not in shape, beautiful, interesting, smart, or wealthy either - but that doesn't stop her from secretly resenting his mediocrity. She silenced this resentment until the kids were pumped out. But in her mind, this guy isn't her equal - this guy is 40 percent lower in SMV than the men she used to get spun like a plate from. This guy is a loser in her eyes, but she doesn't see that now she went from being a plate for those guys who were out of her league to being just a dirty dish. And nobody high on the ladder washes dishes.

So this seething resentment of having to "settle" smolders like a ember until one day her Beta provider hubby leaves the toilet seat up after he came home exhausted from working a 14 hour day to pay for their children and she decides that she's had enough of his abusiveness & that she deserves better. Cue divorce and destroying the family for the cash & prizes (70% of divorces are filed by women).

Now she's 40 and hanging out in bars buying long island iced teas with her kids child support money, hitting on men twice her SMV, while her kids tuck themselves in on Friday night and can never hope to see daddy again.

This is what guys mean when they talk about the consequences of unchecked hypergamy. Women getting tossed around by high SMV players end up with screwed up proprieties, a distorted sense of their own worth, and are no longer LTR material as a result. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the Alpha Widow.

These women will NEVER forget those men that were so far out of their league, yet came down off the summit to use them for a quick reprieve before heading back up to Mt. Olympus. It's welded into their heads and the standard by which they will judge every experience they will ever have with every man they ever get with for the rest of their lives. It's like a drug they never get over the withdrawal symptoms of once they come off of. Like a junkie, they will keep chasing after that high once they've had a taste of it - even if the pursuit of it ends up destroying lives and families in the process."