Had a huge argument with my dad. He has this dog that when it gets out takes off and sometimes doesn't watch its surroundings. Well today in my rush trying to get to school the dog managed to get out a door I had only partially closed.

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Of course he turns to me pissed telling me how I only put in a little effort to make sure the dog stays in. That comment blew my mind because I literally had to change me routine to get outside just so I reduce the risk of it getting out. I have to go through a bedroom to reach the other door that takes you outside where as the front door leads to the dog pen and you got to open the pen to get outside. I changed that under his request yet some how I am not putting in enough effort. Okay fine I am the reason it got out in the first place. But he comes back telling me that hes just going to give his dog up for adoption and that all of the animals in the house must go.

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This led down a discussion that I do not believe I can repeat easily without inputting my bias but I will try. First of all he decided to get this dog of his own volition. He knows I don't like dogs but he "pays" the rent so cant say much about that, but it is how he went about doing it that pissed me right off. I wanted a cat because I have experience with them and I am good with them. He told me we can't have one because we live too close to the street and that the landlord wouldn't want it. Then 5 days later he brings home a new puppy. That really pissed me off but I bit my tongue and since then I have had to change my lifestyle for it. Dog barks often it is big loves to jump on people. I can't handle dogs big dogs give me anxiety but I put up with it but when it jumps on me I freak out a lot inside. I put up with this shit for 2 to 3 years. After starting MGTOW a year and a half back I decided I need something in my life. So I said fuck it I am going to get a cat against my dads wishs. I asked my grandmother (who pays most of the rent with ssi) and she said okay. Came home with it the same day. No issues no one has to change their lifestyle much if at all. Just make sure he doesn't get out. But if he does whatever he stays near the house he waits to come in so it isn't a big deal. Pretty good and smart little guy. But that dog just a whole different story.

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Now on to the actual argument. I told him I guess I will move out because I am not getting rid of my cat because he can't be responsible for his dog. He gets angry tells me how I shouldn't have gotten a cat how the landlord is not happy with it. Inside doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me since they had to build a dog pen onto the house while the cat has done nothing to bother anyone but okay. I tell him that I have done what I could to change my habits so the dog doesn't get out. That this was an accident due to lack of sleep frustration over my moped not starting and my rush to get going for college. Basicly tells me that is a constant excuse. I turn around and tell him then wtf am I suppose to do. I am busting my ass going to school changing my life so I can grow and handle the real world and I am getting no help from him or anyone else in the family especially financially. The only reason I get to go is because of the government. Tell him how he should just get the dog trained. He asks how he doesn't know how to do it and tells me that he cant afford a trainer. I say whos fault is that? You had the chance to go to school you didn't. You have to chance to have me tutor you in math you dont and you are the one who got yourself fired from your job because you refused to keep your mouth shut. He asks me well am I supposed to stay there and let them treat me like a child? I say well if you want to keep a job yes otherwise you wont have income to do these things. Goes on further how "I am just a bad father" then and self pity guilty shit. He is the one who left he was the one who didn't fight hard enough for his kids and now two are grown up completely fucked in the head. One is heavy on drugs the other cant survive the real world. I am doing the best I fucking can and his actions show me that it isn't enough even though his words says I am doing good and to keep going. There was so much more to the argument but I just cant put it into words just shit that has happened. How he feels he shouldn't have to take care of me anymore since I am old enough but didn't do jack shit to raise me properly and that I am basically having to raise myself. How he had to drop things to pick me up from another state because I trying to live with my ex which didn't pan out but at the same time the only reason I went to live with her is because we were getting evicted from our home and staying at my cousins wasn't working out especially when they were stealing my property.

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All of this shit because of a fucking dog that he keeps in a pen all day. I just don't know. When I see other dogs I don't see this kind of behavior. To me it expresses the laziness of my father and honestly I am extremely tired of having to put up with my families shit. If I could just move out I would have already. It is not worth staying here. I'll be so happy when I transfer to a four year but until that time comes I am stuck here and I am done being a punching bag for these peoples problems. If their life is so shit because of me maybe they shouldn't have had a child in the first place. They had a responsibility to raise me to handle the world so I wouldn't be an adult still living with their parents. But that shit didn't happen. Life fucking sucks and we have to take responsibility for our actions. I am doing what I can now. Forcing my self through school even though I'd rather stay in bed and rot but what is the alternative? Suicide? Homelessness? Staying at home doing nothing only made me feel useless and pathetic and a leach. But I am doing something now and I am focusing hard on it and it still feels like that is being minimalized by them.

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Not sure what I am even looking for by posting this but eh let me know your thoughts.