Got a “just wanted to catch up” FB message from a chick I chased all throughout high school that barely gave me the time of day. Everyone wanted her. She led me on for years cause I was blind and dumb. I checked her profile and holy shit, it’s like her entire identify has been copied and pasted from the Book of Red Flags.

She has 5 kids. F I V E. but wait...there’s one more on the way. 😂 She married some overweight beta dude. He’s not the dad of any of them. There’s at least 3 other dads. All of her pictures have filters on them. All of her public FB posts are SAHM quotes Her “career” is one of those...weird ass beauty product selling scam things. You know what I mean. “OMG values at over 200 but I can get it to you for 35 message me now!”

And the cherry on top: a single post complaining about turning 30 and not wanting to leave her 20s.

I didn’t just dodge a bullet. I Neo’d my way out of a barrage of gun fire.