~ archived since 2018 ~

At ease.

McL0vin_

May 12, 2019

2162 upvotes

/r/MGTOW

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Post Information

Title	At ease.
Author	McL0vin_
Upvotes	2162
Comments	65
Date	May 12, 2019 3:42 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/bnktwv/at_ease/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/at-ease.467468 https://theredarchive.com/post/467468

Comments

[–]truthserum23118 points119 points120 points 7 years ago (37 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points89 points 7 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

[–]BullTopia72 points73 points74 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]BullTopia16 points17 points18 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cleverbutnotoverlyso5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NohoTwoPointOh5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chart66530 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jrpark0514 points15 points16 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]jrpark052 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Yes. The great thing is when you listen to their alpha bro shit, and in one sentence or phrase completely destroy their argument or their perceived control over you. It's like watching the person punch and punch the air over and over, which then moves to flailing at the air, and then exhaustion, all the while I haven't said a word or given a damn.

It's like, we can play your game or my game, but because of your hubris, it will always be my game. That is, if you're a selfish, stupid, arrogant asshole.

On the other hand, that same person could come with a mentality of conversation, cooperation, and mutual respect. Then we'd actually get somewhere and say something worth saying or do something worth doing. At this point in my life anything else bores me.

As my grandfather said there are many ways to skin a cat.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jrpark051 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, two recently, and both are with friends. However, they talk and talk and talk...and talk. It gets quite annoying. Perhaps they are not "alpha bros", it's just that they talk loudly, a lot, and one is a woman.

The thing is this: you are not obliged to give the "alpha bro" a second of your time, or the best of your attention. So, my approach is when they get annoying, say something back that is short and pithy.

The first is a man in his 50s who, in his words, will "fuck anything that moves". He's divorced, and seeks validation all the time, and I believe this is one reason he talks all the time. I genuinely like him, but do get annoyed when he goes on and on. Also, he's very sarcastic and does not really talk about much of substance. Anyway, we were riding home and talking to our friend, who's been dating this girl for a few years. So my friend goes on and one about how picky and henpecking the girlfriend is. I ask the boyfriend "is this good for you?" It is a simple and fair question, and my 50s friend says "he gets it every night", and I simply respond "it is important ______ (his name). I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important." My voice was a bit raised, and he paid attention, thought about it for the rest of the ride home. Simple and to the point.

The second is the girlfriend of the boyfriend mentioned in the previous paragraph. Yes, she is my friend, but yes, she and her family henpecks her boyfriend like no other. She is also very manipulative, and I believe is slowly taking the energy out of him. So we are outside talking (we are all at a bar) and we all are about ready to leave. Instead of just telling him she wanted to leave, she says "oh, he always knows when I am ready". I respond that she should just tell him and make it simple. She responds "oh, he knows when I'm ready", as if he has some radar that is supposed to know. I tell her this is manipulative, and that she should just tell him. Once again, simple and to the point.

Perhaps these are two good examples, but the first thing is that just because someone believes themselves to be an alpha or a leader doesn't entitle them to the best of your time. Therefore, your responses don't even have to be targeted or well-thought out.

[–]brabbs3160 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jrpark050 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

That's fine if you believe that, and I'm ok that you believe that. Maybe I am.

To explain: This is my way of responding, and in this world, for me it is difficult not to. I'm not above it, so I maybe an asshole as well. (sorry I'm repeatedly editing this) I don't have a problem responding in this way, because these people assume they are entitled to my attention, alertness, and mental energy as they talk on. So of course, yes, to me that is "their game", and whether they know it or not, their constant need for attention is controlling the time we are together. I get exhausted listening and socializing, so I do have my own way of decompressing the energy I expend in the social situation.

When it comes to the overbearing and pushy types I have no problem playing "my game", and no problem being the asshole either. If I am I am for the right reasons, because I don't presume that I'm entitled to everyone's attention and time, for whichever reason.

[–]chart66533 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheLastMgtow9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Graypube883 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]violetmonstermunch2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Short answer; read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and do the exact opposite of everything the book tells you to do.

Long answer; suppress your emotions, desires, needs and start doing 1000 favors for her a day, do things for her that she never asked for with unspoken strings attached to it. Then when she never returns the favor by doing what you never told her you want from her, you get mad at her and feel justified doing so.

Whenever she wants to do something nice for you, you get extremely uncomfortable and reject it covertly, make up a lie why you can't and blame her for not being allowed to tell her overtly. Or bring up the past. She wants to have sex with you because you keep hinting that that's what you want? Start whining about how you're confused why she's in the mood now when she wasn't in the mood that one other time and keep pressuring her about it until she's no longer in the mood and then pull the "I knew you were lying!!" card.

If you dare ask her for a favor and she shuts you down, become passive aggressive like a 1st grader; start pouting and be super cold and miserable until she does the favor, then instantly snap into a gitty mood and thank the ever loving shit out of her for changing her mind.

If she asks you to get married or want to trap you with a baby, hint at the fact that you feel like you don't deserve it and if she tries to convince you, you start becoming extremely uncomfortable because it goes against your entire world paradigm (You're a worthless piece of shit, she deserves everything and you don't deserve shit. You're not allowed to talk about it. You must maintain this reality without anyone knowing.) and get angry at her for making you feel bad.

And of course; NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR HUMANITY. She's the center of your universe, everything is about her and you're doing everything you can to keep that reality in check even if you hate it but you're making sure that no one ever knows. You never talk about your day, or your interests or your likes, dislikes, fetishes, your ideas... ALWAYS ask her about herself, what she wants to do, how her days has been going and then disappear when she asks you to talk about yourself by making a lie for why you don't have time all of a sudden.

Always solve all of her problems instead of letting her vent and then act miserable when her nature doesn't appreciate you doing so.

Flunk all of her shit tests; if she takes your fries, you give her more. If she gives you an ultimatum "Me or your video games" you ask HER to make a choice etc...

Follow this advice right and every girl will flock away from you to hard that they won't even think about ruining your life, you're already a walking corpse to them.

[–]violetmonstermunch1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]masterbronn 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin224-5 points-4 points-3 points 7 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

Seriously?

Are you doing a lot better than your ex in a tangible, measurable way? If you undoubtedly are - like you're rolling in "fuck you" money, then maybe, because no matter what she does you'll roll right through it with grit and grace.

If not, you're only fooling yourself.

The best revenge is living well, but if you're not really doing it, you're taking the sad road of the faker; killing them with kindness and still playing the nice guy when it's obvious she wrecked your ass.

Please explain this final kindness of giving her the satisfaction of closure.

What false accusation did she bring to bear on you?

What, you raped her, abused her, and were an emotionally detached asshole?

Fuck that, you fight that tooth and nail if it's not true.

If you don't have the means or ability to stomp them into the ground for those lies, you're a spineless coward. Let them spin their stories to their sycophantic circle of friends.

The second even an iota of that overlaps with yours, go for scorched earth.

You don't owe them a goddamn thing once you split up. Would you tolerate any of your male friends dragging your reputation through the dirt?

Protect yourself, grow a sack, and don't give them an inch. All you're doing is enabling them to ply their bullshit on someone else because you've reinforced the idea they've done nothing wrong.

Pro tip: if you're able to act like a pathetic, white knight, pussy-whipped cuck... news flash: that's your default setting.

This is shit advice, bro. Why in the sandwich fuck would you ever suggest this?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin224-2 points-1 points0 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin224-3 points-2 points-1 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]theanchorman050 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin2240 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin224-1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a HUGE difference between walking your own way - and doing it on your own terms - and acting like a pathetic, pussy-whipped cuck so she thinks she dodged a bullet.

The difference is I know for a fact that I'm the one dodging a bullet, so I make it very clear when we split (especially if it's messy) that I'm not tolerating any nonsense with her trying to fuck with my life. She stays away from me, my family, my friends.

I don't care what she does with herself, but if I catch a scent of her dragging me through the mud I'm not going to take that laying down.

I'm confused as to why your solution is to willingly play the wimp. Like I mentioned earlier, it's like you're pretending to be this ascended, non-combative monk, but deep down you're a coward.

You'll playing the simp cuck role because you're afraid of a woman and what she might do, is that it?

[–]WanderlustYouth1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NathanHollister2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Paladin290347 points48 points49 points 7 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kaolin2249 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's incredible to me how much physical time gets eaten up by technology - and it's usually a huge waste.

I spend enough time on Reddit that it annoys me, but I like reading and discussing interesting things. Back when I also had Tinder, Facebook, and of course, a girlfriend, there were untold hours spent talking about nonsense.

Then you're getting dragged around to stupid things you don't want to do.

For instance, today my ex would want us to check out a lame street festival after we have brunch. Then do laundry, run errands and have dinner with her shitty friends. Then make dinner for the week, which I'd have to do, because she can't cook for shit.

There goes my entire Sunday and probably $300 in food and booze.

I went hiking this morning, ran errands on the way home, wasting time on Reddit while doing laundry, and I made my meals for the week late last night. After this I'm headed to the archery range to shoot my bow for a few hours.

Then I'll be enjoying the rest of a chill Sunday at home with a Prime NY Strip with all the fixings I'll make myself (cheat day), a beer, plus catching up on reading and games.

That's how you get your head right on a Sunday before another long week of work. Cost $50.

[–]McL0vin_[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link