Me (59M). Partner who has been living part-time with me for roughly 6 years is basically demanding that she calls my home her home. Her 'official' place-of-residency is her family home about 100 km from me and stays here 3-4 days a week but wants to make my place official. Her kids are older and out of the house so no dramas there.

I am refusing to comply as I've been burnt badly in my marriage. I am deciding whether to either say No or say that an agreement of assets must be written. Problem is that I have no faith that these documents hold up in court.

Of course, she will say I am being a bastard for asking for agreements but don't really care. The problem is that I want an 'out'. That if things get messy then out she goes. And, of course, having her here officially removes that flexibility.

Very torn right now. She's a good girl (warts and all), but I keep going back to the message I learned in the military: hope for the best, plan for the worst.