New guy here and I guess I'm posting this here because I've always naturally been leaning MGTOW due to being (mostly?) asexual so I've never had any interest in women or romantic relationships and have just been doing my own thing. If I knew about this sub before, this situation probably never would have happened but I imagine many men here have discovered MGTOW this way. I figure if there's anybody who's been through a similar situation I'd probably find them here.

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So I'm going to be a father. Not sure how relevant the backstory is but I guess I'll tell it anyways. One day this woman starts making advances on me. Initially I pushed her away because well I'm asexual and I just don't care about that sort of thing. But she was very persistent and hey, I guess I'm not 100% asexual, and I got curious. We start having sex. This goes on for a couple months. I'm not really feeling anything so at this point I just tell her look this isn't doing much for me and it's really risky because I have no interest in having children and if you got pregnant I'd probably just walk and that seems terrible so I'm breaking up with you. She gets emphatic about the whole thing and is like it's no problem, I don't want kids either, we're using contraception, I probably can't even have kids anymore, etc, etc. I guess that put me at ease a bit so I figure there's no harm in continuing this kind of relationship. I think you see where this is going. She gets pregnant. I remind her of our conversation where we talked about not having kids, but it doesn't matter to her and she wants to keep the kid and I'm a monster for not supporting her decision, etc, etc. Yes we were using contraception but I'm not really interested in speculation as to whether or not she sabotaged it, all contraception has a failure rate anyways, including vasectomies. I didn't really know what else to do, this was pretty overwhelming to me, so I just cut off all ties to her at this point.

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Now my daughter is going to be born soon and I'm having difficulty figuring out what the "right" thing to do is. Part of me wants to go "hey, we talked about this, you figure it out now, bye". Another part of me is like well why should this child be deprived of having a father just because the parents are dumbasses? I suppose technically the child not having a father could be construed as the mother's choice since she could put her up for adoption, but still. I guess I'm struggling to find a middle ground.

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Obviously I'm not going to marry this woman. Living together with her sounds equally horrifying. If I try to start a custody battle I'm... skeptical... that I'll be able to play an equal role in raising this child. I'm very dubious of raising a child period, but especially so if I can't at least play an equal role, and if this ends up being the case I probably will walk, morality and society be damned. I know guys who get to see their kids like every other weekend or something and there are absolutely no circumstances I would willingly accept that kind of situation, that seems like a great idea if I want to slowly chip away at my humanity over 18 years. Honestly, I'm terrified of raising a child with someone I do not trust whatsoever because I would have to trust them with what would become the most important thing in my life. Every option just seems... pretty bleak.

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Have any of you been in a similar situation and what choice did you make and how has that affected your life?

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PS: There certainly is a real possibility that she is not my child in the first place considering we weren't cohabitating and we only saw each other maybe once or twice a week so lots of things could be going on, so I will make sure to get a DNA test regardless. But let's assume she is mine for the sake of argument.