I came out of a train wreck on a relationship 3 years ago. Found reddit, found MGTOW. been in self improvement and monk mode ever since.

Six months ago I get talking to a girl, and we had such a connection. So began a month of being inseparable, she told me she loved me from day 3 ( red flag #1 ) I had a 3 month trip overseas planned and paid for, she begged me not to go, I told her no way was I going to lose thousands. I said I’d be back when I was done.

I made the mistake of lasting a whole lousy 2 weeks abroad, under immense pressure from her to return to her, I spoke with friends about it and they said the usual unenlightened shit ( she might be THE one, don’t let her slip away ) etc and I buckled, I came back. For her.

Red flag (#2) - upon returning she had dyed her hair from brown to bleach blonde “because my ex was bleach blonde so I must prefer blondes” I actually hate blonde and she was mixed race so it didn’t match her skin at all. Plus it was weird. But ok ....

Things go ok for couple months, domestic life sets in - and she gets bored, bedroom starts getting deader by the week, suddenly she’s talking to her ex out of the blue via text.

Red flag (#3) she starts self harming ( IN MY HOUSE WHILE IM OUT ) I’m furious at the disrespect, but also worried and sad she hurt herself. I take her the hospital I sit by her bed overnight.

A week later she try’s to kill herself - again in my house. I have to strike her to subdue her and get her on the floor, she’s fighting and biting at me.

At this point I’m done, I don’t need this crap in my life. I ask for a break, tell her I’ll be there for her as a friend and support her any way I can until she’s better, we can talk about the relationship when she’s sound of mind.

Not even 3 hours later I get a text “I’m going to ask for my ex back, I love him” I just laughed, “ok” I told her.

A week goes by and she comes round to get all her clothes etc, she tells me she’s sorry, that she didn’t ask for him back, and she misses me. She wants to be with me. It’s me and not her ex. Foolishly still caring for her I said ok and we slept together, she stayed over. The next day we said we’d try again.

2 days later I get a text off her sister, she brought her ex home after work and he stayed the night ( she lives with parents and sister, I live alone ) I confront her and she says sorry, she claims she didn’t sleep with him and asks to stay at my place this Friday, meanwhile her sister is texting me, she’s been going to see her ex for a while, and has told everyone they are together, I tell the sister about her staying over, her sister confronts her and she denies everything, so I provide the sister with message and cctv proof. At this point the sister blocks me, and I get a barrage of abuse via message off the girl.

Realised I had been duped and probably been cheated on by this manipulative cow for god knows how long, I told her I’m keeping all her shit and her laptop and binning it, if she turns up here I’m calling the police.

It’s a wall of text, but the lesson is, no matter how many years go by, or how nice they seem in the beginning - AWALT - women don’t change, and you giving up a dream trip around the world, or six months of your sanity, or your fucking dignity. It’s never worth it, they will manipulate and use you and then drop you like you mean less than dog shit.

And I learnt the hard way. Even though I knew better.

PS - this is my favourite forum on reddit, and I get my daily inspiration from here. You guys are the best.

Go your own way.