Wife left around 84 days ago and wants a divorce, a miscarriage sent everything spiraling down and she just shut off completely. she harbors all this resentment for past fights, they would escalate and I would always say hurtful things calling her names.it seems like the fights would always start over somethings small (she suffers from depression and BPD) she wouldn’t do counseling or take medication, she would get set off at birds chirping outside the window, I can remember on our honeymoon, staying in Maui she threw a fit for two days over getting a stain on her shirt.even as I write this I feel like I’m making excuses for my actions...I just feel so shitty for treating the person that means the most to me like I did. Even though things were rough I never pictured her leaving, I feel so thrown away, she cut off contact completely and acts like she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

This has killed my self confidence, I feel absolutely worthless and find myself looking back on past things thinking if I could have done things differently that this wouldn’t have happened. I miss her so much it just drives me crazy, affecting my work life which seems to be the only thing I can force myself to do to get out of the house