I used to feel like my life was progressing but now it seems to have stopped without the life script. It was school, job, marriage, kids but I stopped after the job part and never got to a relationship.

My friends tell me I am holding myself back in life by not conforming to society. They tell me I will never rise in my career and I will be forever alone.

These are the things they criticize about me:

  • I stay inside during the weekends even before the quarantine started. They tell me to go outside more.
  • My hobbies are limited. I spend most of my weekends reading about math and science but my friends tell me to get new hobbies especially if it involves women. They tell me to start taking yoga and dance classes to meet more women.
  • I am too serious. My friends tell me I need to become a funny guy, learn banter and flirting. They tell me "Nobody gives a fuck about math and science. You're such a nerd. No one likes that."
  • I don't spend enough money. My friends tell me "Money doesn't matter if you have no one to spend it on."

It's not just my friends. My parents look down on me and regret having me because they didn't think I would turn out like this. Even on the internet everyone criticizes me and tells me I need to give up my identity and they say my real identity is stuck in its shell and conformity is the only way I will succeed.

It's hard for me to love myself if I am constantly told I am defective for being an introvert that likes to be rational and serious.

I have been thinking about changing myself but every time I try I feel so exhausted and fake for being someone else. I feel like I am going against my nature by pretending to be someone I'm not.

How do I make progress in life? Is it worth conforming to society or should I stick to my own path even if people hate me? I'm not sure why I get all this hate for doing my own thing.

I can't travel anywhere and it seems no matter what I do, I never get the same respect as others. I am always invisible and looked down on.