Going scorched earth

SammySilver09 · 2021-03-27T22:10:04+00:00

They must not be your real friends. I've gone years without talking to friends and as soon as we speak again, it's like we didn't miss a day. It's like that sometimes as an adult.

Papa_Ursidae · 2021-03-27T23:48:31+00:00

I did this recently. I realized that the only time someone reached out to me is when they needed something from me. Pretty much blocked 90% of my contacts.

StatusWorth244 · 2021-03-27T22:09:05+00:00

The only friends you need are the ones that help you prepare for the collapse of society

Alexius_von_Meinong · 2021-03-28T00:10:14+00:00

Some years ago there was a MGTOW video on Youtube (I can't remember the content creator, maybe Mayor of MGTOWN) who described how he just went silent one day. It took I think three months until one of his friends reached out to him. I guess you can think of it as a kind of experiment to determine who actually cares about you.

Part of it is just aging. You have a group of friends when you're young, and then they scatter or fall by the wayside. Sometimes you hear years later that they died. You have no idea what went on in their lives for the past decade or two.

In the US, when a man gets married he usually turns over his social life to his wife, who invites over her unbearable friends, and the guy is just putting up with them, waiting for them to leave. Usually he doesn't have the psychic energy to retain friends of his own.

Honkworld69 · 2021-03-28T00:11:17+00:00

Did this last year. Don't regret it at all. No more worrying thoughts about what they thought about what I said, no more people pleasing bullshit from me. Mental health improved massively.

ThrowawayGhostGuy1 · 2021-03-28T01:57:47+00:00

I don’t go scorched earth as much as I just stop putting energy into people who don’t reciprocate.

Megitgud · 2021-03-28T02:42:57+00:00

Can't blame you, the serenity of being alone is addictive.

2021-03-28T00:04:48+00:00

Did it shortly after Covid started - Best decision I ever made.

oirectine00 · 2021-03-28T03:56:50+00:00

Didn't even scorch any earth. Just quietly deleted social media drama free and focused on my work.

itsvyktbaby · 2021-03-28T01:15:24+00:00

You should make sure you have other avenues of socialising left. As much as you may dislike it you need social contact to remain happy.

Putrid-Beyond-2494 · 2021-03-28T06:20:06+00:00

I've had friends come and go, but am at the age where it is not wise to burn bridges. You never know when you may need to reach out to someone.

Just focus on the relationships that bring you value, and limit the ones that don't (or take away from you in a win-lose situation). Finally, at the end of the day only you can be your own best friend, and everyone has their own stuff going on (basically, don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed).

ShuckLuck · 2021-03-28T01:47:48+00:00

Yeah dude i moved 6 times from age 15-26. After forming and reforming friend groups so many times, i realized what i value from them. Biggest sign you got a bro is said above: dont talk for years, pick up vibing like it was yesterday. I ended up with 2-3 bros from each area with all other "friends" fizzling out. Dont be afraid to trim the hedge!

Its possible to rebuild from 0, it just takes deliberate effort. Develop a hoby that forces interaction. I.e. jiu jitsu, volunteering, rock climbing. Be the one to initiate the first hangout. After gathering a few associates, have a board game night/football watch or w/e. Thats when you meet your associates friends.

If they all suck, scorch earth, try again.

nipplesucker426 · 2021-03-28T05:39:01+00:00

Didn't get rid of all of them, but 99%.

I've wasted way too much time and energy on people who fucking suck, men and women. I'd go out of my way to be a good friend and help out whenever. Any time I was in a pinch and could've used a few bucks for some food, a ride, or joining in on a drug order to get a discount and save money on shipping. Always "oh shit sorry bro I totally forgot".

Most people are incredibly selfish and shallow, they have no problem blatantly taking advantage of people. "Bro I owe you one big time thanks so much, you just saved my ass big time". But any time it's their chance to pay it forward they come up with some lame excuse and let you get fucked.

I'm a really strong guy, and man the amount of people who have befriended me solely to help them with their training is unreal. The second I started being like "yo I'm happy to help you, but I've got my own workouts to do. I can't follow you around and watch you 24/7 or else I'll never get anything done."

Boom. I was no longer of use so they stopped talking to me entirely lol

Just keep the friends who give as much back as they take. One sided relationships are toxic and will destroy your mental health. Having a few reliable friends is better than no friends, but no friends beats the hell out of having a bunch of shitty acquaintances.

Marfi09 · 2021-03-28T07:19:46+00:00

If you are doing this that means you got some shitty friends and there's no way to keep the friendship. I once did this when I realized all my 'friends' are blackmailing me, threatening me, trying to use me for money. Then I found some good friends and happy now.

DatRndmDude · 2021-03-28T20:15:42+00:00

In 2010 I deleted my social media and sent a message to all my contacts with an email where they can contact me. Now I only write regularly with 2-3 people. I realized, most of my "friends" only contacted me when they needed something from me. I am an IT guy and there are always some IT problems that need fixing for free and then they forget about you.

Ban-circumvention · 2021-03-29T03:35:19+00:00

If you haven’t done it yet already, you are like dependent on them for validation and attention.

2021-03-29T04:14:31+00:00

talk to them about how worthless women are, they will weed themselves out

Gobc · 2021-04-01T04:10:39+00:00

I think If your going to do this, you should take a serious look at yourself as well. After all, you were the person who chose to associate with these "friends".

dealbreakerface · 2021-03-28T06:29:04+00:00

This is the most basementdwelling thing i ever came across outside of the chans

Title	Going scorched earth
Author	YonnieFrodo
Upvotes	35
Comments	28
Date	March 27, 2021 9:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/men9uk/going_scorched_earth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/going-scorched-earth.767000 https://theredarchive.com/post/767000

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