I know this is my 3rd post today but now I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I have immense red pill rage.

I can’t begin to truly fathom this all. I’m sick and tired of this bull shit society. Whoever says they love life is either a liar or severely fucked up.

I’m not anti life. But is this really the life we think we ought to be living? I fucking loathe it. I am blessed to have what I have, life is a gift. But the current stage of the world is awful and deceiving.

I fucking hate how soft this world has made people and man. I just want to get up and fight for something. I want to be courageous. I basically want to fight and have purpose. I want to live and die how I choose.

How else can I free myself? I’m 23M musician living with family. I’ve been doing community college for almost two years (candidate for AA) while also pursuing music and gigging. I’m currently looking for new work and I’ve been unemployed for months now.

I need prayers. I need the breakthrough. I’m raging. Probably gonna go on a walk. I can’t stand this. I worked out today and made myself food but I still feel I have this energy that won’t come out. It’s like I need to fuck or kill.