Hookups in 2020

PipBoyTInkerer · 2020-02-23T06:01:47+00:00

"I was going down on my girlfriend and I said 'Geez you got a big pussy! Geez you got a big pussy!' She said 'why did you say it twice?' and I said 'I didn't'"

Alpha_9 · 2020-02-23T07:24:23+00:00

[deleted]

NathanHollister · 2020-02-23T05:59:18+00:00

[deleted]

softbeats · 2020-02-23T05:31:49+00:00

He got the clap

redditrat99 · 2020-02-23T13:08:52+00:00

Story time, one my friends, one mine.

First my friend. We are both in our thirties and I am divorced, he has never been married and is still looking. I've mentioned him a few times before. Anyway, he was dating this mother of 2 for a while, yeah I know. So he strung him along, never had sex with him, and then dumped him. A month passes and she asks him out on a date. He was horny and lonely ("hornley"?) And agreed. Later that night they finally had sex. He wouldn't tell me at first but finally gave in after a few drinks. Basically, she had told him that she was still super tight and did koegles and so forth. He said "it was a mess" and besides her being dry and having a distinct smell, "past the entrance it was just... Open, inside" he said that on top of that she did try to ride and was trying to be enthusiastic, but it was just bad. At the end she gave him a blow job while rubbing herself off. I asked what he planned to do and basically she hadn't called him after, and he hadn't called her.

Next was a girl I brought home about... Jesus I'm getting old... In 2007? So 13 years ago. Wow. Anyway, I was early 20s and she was the same. Anyway, hot blonde, very sexy. See comes over and uses the bathroom. I decided to go in next and noticed a distinct fishy odor. I was worried but was hoping it was her poop. It was not. She went to my bedroom after some heavy petting and got under the covers. She asked for condoms, I went to the restroom, grabbed one, and came back. She got naked in the mean time and her breasts were amazing. Then she pulled back the covers. Now.... Her body was amazing. Nice Sandy blonde triangle, round hips, small waist. If i.was anosmic then we would have been fine. But, no. The smell was... Awful. Rotten fish city. I was still horny so I climbed in and I said "your... The..." She then said the damnedest thing "that's what I smell like when I'm excited". We then kissed but I just couldn't do it..like... At all. My dick WOULD NOT GO UP. She got frustrated, tried to give me head, but I was so disgusted by the smell my dick literally shut down. She grabbed her stuff and left.i told her to get checked for an infection. Several weeks later she sent me a text and said I was right, she did have an infection.

Never saw her after that. Even though she was hot and if she showed up again, I think the memory of the smell would send my dick into ptsd

fredanderssen · 2020-02-23T11:25:43+00:00

Little Johnny says to little Susie: “Can I put my finger in your bellybutton?”

Little Susie thinks about it for a few seconds and says: “Well, okay.”

Johnny fumbles for a bit and Susie yells out: “That’s not my bellybutton!”

Johnny replies: “That ain’t my finger.”

silly_birb · 2020-02-23T08:39:18+00:00

Try posting it on FDS

GuitZz · 2020-02-23T12:28:48+00:00

In french we say "garage à bites" it means "dick shed"
you can park in without touching the walls XD

sebastian0801 · 2020-02-23T10:02:04+00:00

Shes worn out.

jaymb90 · 2020-02-23T15:18:55+00:00

This is fucking hilarious, my Uber driver doesn’t get it though. She just took a left turn when her gps said “right”...I think I’m in trouble, boys

Stannibal_III · 2020-02-23T14:34:02+00:00

I suppose anAirbus A380 is relatively small, when compared to the Grand Canyon.

stratusfactionfan · 2020-02-23T14:46:12+00:00

Last girl I fit 3 fingers in easily. Just starting to play with her. Yeaaaaah that's not right, bitches are crazy these days

DurDurDurkistan · 2020-02-23T20:58:51+00:00

The best is when feminists try to tell you that the vagina gets tighter and better the more you use it. I had one woman tell me that the extra scar tissue from giving birth makes her tighter.

RPDunkleBomb · 2020-02-23T23:34:53+00:00

Never got with a single mom before (and won't, fuck that shit), but my first girlfriend was basically like this. I didn't have any other experience so it was always hardcore hair pulling ballslapping no condom to get her off, and I thought that was normal. You could use a whole fist on this girl and still have room to move around. Only girl who ever actually said to me she thought I might be getting smaller.

We broke up later on, and immediately she monkey branches to some heroin addict dude, who posts a video online she sent him masturbating. She masturbated, no shit, with a vibe and her fist. No fucking wonder.

0rbital-nugget · 2020-02-23T16:03:50+00:00

She must be driving to the looney bin

pro_skub · 2020-02-23T12:51:21+00:00

it's a joke, ok, but that's not how it works just so you know

Title	Hookups in 2020
Author	0rbital-nugget
Upvotes	691
Comments	63
Date	February 23, 2020 5:25 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/f856k2/hookups_in_2020/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/hookups-in-2020.369503 https://theredarchive.com/post/369503

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