There was a Honda Prelude broken down perfectly blocking the entrance of a busy roundabout. I was the first person at the scene. I approached the car after pulling over, dreading learning the gender of the driver. Sure enough, it was a Helpless White Girl.

I tried not to think about raping her, and I tried not to think about paying her 23% less but instead focused on the hoards of vehicles that would soon build up.

Her key would not turn. The steering wheel was locked. Pushing the car off the road would be impossible. After talking for a moment about what the problem was I actually had to ask her to get out of her car and let me try. I wish I had been a dick about it, I might've gotten her number. "Get the fuck out, dumb bitch, let a man try." Right? Kidding.

I got in her car, wiggled the key as I turned it and got it to the on position. She got in, started it, thanked me and drove off. Now the 80 or so cars behind her began moving through the intersection.

As I got back into my car in my now sweaty suit, I wondered if anyone would notice that a straight white male just saved the day. Again.