Sorry for the long post, I'm in need of some advices. I'm 31 yo, I'm from EU, and I've been in a LTR for the past 9 years with my high school sweetheart and we've been living together for the last 2.

Ever since I hit puberty, I've been red pilled about society and women nature (I had my share of examples in my own family); and trust me when I say that I lived up to my principles. Even if I've been with my S.O. for most of my adult life, I've never indulged in any typical simp behaviour and my S.O. knows all my positions on relationships/marriage and sometimes even understand my views. We had many top and lows (I sometimes had burnouts from the stress caused by our relationship), but we've always been loyal and supportive to each other (yes, she never bitched around, and in the end she always did her best to keep us together).

Yeah, I know I'm on MGTOW but let me articulate. We supported emotionally at our worst moments, we shared many life experiences, we have a very affectionate relationship, we never cheated on each other, she was at my side when I was jobless and desperate (I'm now in a good position, fortunately), she works and always paid her part (currently share expenses 50% religiously) and she currently does all the chores at home. We had arguments about marriage, but she ultimately had to accept that I won't fall into the trap. She's still a woman tho, so she has some attitude problems, the occasional rage outburst, she's emotionally dependent on me and all that stuff; and lately our sex life is not the same as years ago (but I'm not so concerned about that).

I'm posting here because I desperately need an unedulcorated advice on my situations and future prospects from people who won't be influenced by our common societal standards. Lately she started pressing about buying an apartment together and have a family, as we currenly rent a place, (please note: not being married I will have little to lose, and at worst I will be forced to get out of that small, possibly not expensive, apartment and pay child support - and I will make sure to have backup plans as I have enough money to prepare them). In my years, I always had the idea I wanted a family and needless to say, one of primary reason (if not the only reason) I'm with my S.O. now is because I want/wanted a family.

I discovered MGTOW contents about a year ago and became more and more distant from women since then (more than before). I've never been a blue pill but sometimes now I feel very bitter. I'm at the point that I started to doubt sticking to the idea of having a family myself and I even started to seek out for surrogacy or sperm donation (even if I don't have a family, I would still like to procreate).

The point is, I'm with a woman that despite everything has proven to be a decent partner for life but I'm at a stage in life where I see myself at a crossroad. She has some issues, but she's definitely a better human being than most women I see around these days; and more importantly, we somewhat bonded over the years. At the same time, I am now much bitter than before and I am afraid once she will have a kid she'll become a different person, as I've learned women usually do. I am afraid I will have to endure too much stress and abuse and it won't be worth it in the end.

One road will lead to me staying with her and risk it. We will buy a small condo and someday soon try to raise a family. I will still stay with her and endure her but I hope we will keep our bond intact and raise our kids - the most important reason to be together. There is a non-irrelevant chance that she will change with time and make my life a living hell - like we all know - but I believe it's not a 100% chance and even so I will make sure to have back ups. I will probably have to endure a lot of shit but having your own kids may be worth it for me.

One road will lead to me instead leaving her now. I will buy my own condo and start living a MGTOW lifestyle, as I have little interest in dating - if not for casual sex (I will take precautions). I'm sure I will do well for myself (got a decent job and some money), but I will lose most of my support network. In doing so, I fear I might lose the opportunity to raise a family of my own forever as I will unlikely find a worthy woman again. I'm not afraid of going MGTOW if not for my possible future kids. If I plan on going MGTOW I'm even considering surrogacy or sperm donation, and get escorts/sex dolls for sex, but I'm sure it won't be the same as having a real family.

What do you guys think of all this mess? Did you find yourself in the same situation?

Is it worth it to go MGTOW and ditch a lifelong partner and the chance of having a family of my own?

Are there alternatives?