8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby said it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become all because of snowflakes.
[–]m5ufo 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice.
[–]jamocadyn2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I pay a service $450/winter with a tractor-type vehicle with a blower to clear my driveway. I enjoy watching that fµcker clear my driveway in seconds knowing it would take me half an hour or more to do it with a shovel (bitch ex-wife got the snowblower--but never uses it). No wife to complain that I should clear the driveway myself because it's a waste of money--PRICELESS.
[–]thxnwy1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Make sure you don't blast "Baby it's cold outside" while making that snowperson.
[–]JohnOrange21121 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Make a snowman that's giving the mid finger to all your neighbors.