How do you guys deal with the idea that men should serve others, that our fulfillment and purpose is to serve others -- you know, give to them, contribute to their well-being, sacrifice for them, support them, and so forth.

We've been taught it is a big part of what it means to be a man: care for others, give to others, rescue them, serve their well-being. It's also at the heart of religious teaching: service to others is the ultimate virtue. Jesus was a servant; he gave his life for others. He is held up as the model you should emulate.

I don't want to over-complicate this post, so I'll just say, I think there is real truth and value to serving others (in the sense of being kind to them, giving, helping, etc.). I get joy from doing that sometimes, and I wouldn't feel right if I just acted selfishly. However, I think there's a big difference between giving/serving because I want and freely choose to do it, vs. doing it out of obligation or duty or because that's the way I "should" be. And I feel the tug of that latter thing, the sense of obligation/duty.

The reason I'm asking is that I'm retired now and, although I've thought of several things that I could do which would benefit humanity or animality, I don't actually feel like doing them. I feel like hanging around with my dog, going for walks, enjoying the day. I don't feel like striving to help others. I don't feel like working to help others, any more than I'm doing already (I take care of my dog, I'm kind to the neighbors, I make charitable contributions). I want to take it easy and enjoy myself.

But then I think, "But I should be contributing to the greater good. I should be serving and giving back somehow." Then I get a twinge of guilt, like I'm not living how I "should" live.

So I thought I'd throw the subject out there and see what people thought. How important do you think it is to serve others? Do you feel guilt about not serving/contributing enough? How do you deal with that?