Last Friday night at the bar we had a university reunion with my mates from Boxing Society, and many of them were married. I don't know if it was the drinks or the absence of their wives but we started discussing how pursuing marriage and conjugal life is not worth it anymore. And all the married guys were telling us (not married) that how lucky we are, having the freedom of life, and doing whatever we can go wherever we want. Some of them, after they got married, started to complain about suffering from stress, anxiety, depression, and taking medications.

The whole night they were saying how jealous they were of us and warning us on enjoying our single life, and inexplicitly saying to not get married. This good friend of mine was complaining that marriage is absolutely nothing like as depicted in films, instead, complaining about how his wife stays at home (housewife) and does shit. He has to come from work, clean the house, take care of the children, prepare food, listen to her nagging about "How he should be more present at home as a husband" while she's with the girls shopping, Starbucks, parlour and other "girl stuff". He said that after the marriage everything is changed before she was a caring, loving girlfriend, and now she is just a bitch, a complete Dr Jackyll and Mr Hyde!

I haven't seen him in a while as he got busy with marriage, children, job plus his side business, also I got busy with work. But I always saw him on social media smiling, always happy with his wife and kids, going on holidays with his family 2-3 times a year, I was happy for him. But after what I heard I felt so sad for him that night, we have been friends since high school, we even went to the same uni. Before marriage, he was such a happy and jolly person, he gave such a positive vibe, he made everyone happy; but now, when I look into his eyes, I just see a vast sea of emptiness.

Later that night I talked to him privately, and more stories came out, so I suggested to him about divorce, but he said that would out of question. He said that he thought about it a few times, but he loves his children too much, so do the children, they love more their daddy than the mother. Also, he said that once they divorce most likely he will not get the custody of the children, lose most of his money, his house, his investments, you got the idea. Not gonna lie, I couldn't sleep that night after what I heard.

Unfortunately, many of my single friends and I are from South Asia, and marriage is a big thing. Especially for my parents, especially as I am the firstborn.

They never put me any pressure, as I always said that I would never get married or have any marriage talk until I am financially stable, which I am now. So from a few months, my mum started to look for some girls to date (arrange marriage is still a thing in South Asia), and she has shown me many pictures. As she says: "No pressure, just go and see what it's like if you don't' like her it's fine".

Just for fun and curiosity, I run some of the images on Yandex to have some background check, I was truly astonished on what happened next. Many of those so-called "Good girls" by my mum, were just a bunch of party animals, some of them were feminazi and men haters (stated by them, not me), and a couple of those I found them on a few porn websites! And I found several videos of them, plural!

I told my mum about my little "research" and what I find out, and as a good South Asian gossip girl she is, she spread the news like wildfire with her friends. If you don't know how South Asian communities works, those kinds of news spread very fast with very, very harsh repercussions.

From what I heard, apparently, their families have been ostracized from the entire community, whoever is in contact with them are ostracized as well, also they have been blacklisted from attending any religious or social events. Moreover, I heard that their family hates me (especially the girls), as I have ruined their life, as they were important figures in our community.

Even after that episode, my mum is still in search to find me a good wife. I tried to explain that I am not interested in any conjugal life, and I am happy as I am now, and I am not ready for this. But at that point is more entertaining to talk to the wall from the next building than talking to her.

My parents are very religious, and I am seriously considering the fact to tell them that I am gay just to avoid this conversation and get away with this, I guess that is the only option left for me.

Thank you for reading this bois, really appreciated!

Thank you again for this great community and for helping me with my mental health.