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drummerdude1232
[–][deleted] 169 points170 points171 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Chef? Dude must have a time machine.
Financial planner? He has the ability to enter alternate dimensions.
[–]mma1357976 points77 points78 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Financial planner?
That was the funniest one. I mean, come on dude, even women don't believe you actually mean that. I don't think I've ever met a woman who saved money and knew about proper investment and smart spending. Whenever they get paid they just spend it all at once on shoes, bags, clothes and unhealthy food.
[–]EvilPencil23 points24 points25 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And if she plans and saves the household money, rest assured she HAS PLANS.
[–]TheRiseAndFall2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bitch plans to make you broke!
[–]EvilPencil1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://youtu.be/uhcH0c469F8
[–]t353tfb5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They are the best financial planners, but the plan is always to take a man's money.
[–]shank2091 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mom is currently in debt and is using some money she recently made to buy a gift for one of the relatives instead of paying off the debt. Not the first time she wasted money on useless shit like this. Great financial planning lol. Doesn't listen to my advice either so I just gave up.
[–]mma135792 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women are obsessed with spending on gifts I noticed, they buy shit for people they barely know sometimes when they can barely afford their rent.
I think it's a thing a REALLY caring what people think of them and showing off, even if it isn't true.
That's why they all want huge expensive weddings, to show off.
[–]DrScott886 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh gods mate. Please let me but ye a beer!
[–]RowdyBusch1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Financial planner
That's where I quit reading. What a fag.
[–]Drozz42122 points123 points124 points 7 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Stylist: You should shave your beard, wear your hair the way I like it, and dress like I tell you to.
Financial planner: I need new clothes, my nails done, and someone to pay my bills, whatevers left of your paycheck you can split with me.
Chef: Where are you taking me for dinner?
Pornstar: I don't feel like it tonight... (I wonder what Tyrone is up to)
For the low low price of your soul, sanity, and half your stuff!
[–]mma1357935 points36 points37 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is probably the most accurate thing I have ever seen.
It's posts like this that made me join this sub, I realised that pretty much every other guy in a relationship was going through the EXACT same thing. Was quite the eye opener at the time.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The simp tweet is just words on a screen. This has feeling when you read it because of how absolutely accurate it is.
[–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah a pornstar...she fucks dozens of men weekly.
Financial Planner...steals all the money and makes sure you don't spend it.
Stylist....spends all money on clothes and worthless shit
Chef...not even
[–]Slushierpuppet24 points25 points26 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ChiefBoyJosh? More like KingSimpPussySniffer.
[+][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]TheMarvelousSchmuck2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that's more common than I care to think about.
[–]aCNNAnonymousSource19 points20 points21 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I know this market director in my company, probably makes like $200K base salary. I cringe when he calls his wife the chief financial officer of the house. She is a stay at home mom. Kids are in like 5th and 3rd grade or honesty she probably doesn’t do shit. But he has to ask her if he can go golfing. Shake my damn head
[–]mma1357919 points20 points21 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really crazy how some people are incredibly rich but their dumb lifestyle means their life isn't even that good.
Man the shit I could do on $200k a year. I live happily with $30k a year LOL and I do a lot of fun stuff whenever I want. I would work 5 years, invest the million and have fun.
[–]MenGoingTOWin6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Damn. She must do crazy butt stuff often if he puts up with that. With the resources he has he's gotta have a lot of other female attention.
I mean... why would you call and ask for permission to go hang out with your friends and play a sport? What could she possibly withhold that has a higher value to him? That's more than your standard level of simping. Maybe he has a self-degradation fetish and she feeds that?
[–]mma135799 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
With the resources he has he's gotta have a lot of other female attention.
I have met people who have a lot of money, managers and directors with really great jobs, the hot women at work try and flirt with them, it never works. They are often SUPER simps who are incredibly loyal to their bratty wife.
[–]cobaltcolander15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the hot women at work try and flirt with them, it never works. They are often SUPER simps
Have you somehow missed the whole #metoo witch-hunt?
[–]mkultra330 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Simps and blue pill thinkers are easier to deceive and manipulate/get more hours out of. Which is great for corporations. The mgtow man will not sell out and put up with much bs at work and will just find a different job. The bp is locked and controlled by the wife and kids, which makes him far less mobile. Corps know this.
[–]Tre_Walker1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What could she possibly withhold that has a higher value to him?
She can withhold his money, home and children by divorce rape.
He is trapped. Never get married.
[–]llDUNN19 points20 points21 points 7 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
And then men post stuff like this to ONLY get 120k likes from mostly females. Men can be cyber-whores just like women. Only out hunting for attention on social media. This is virtue signaling at best.
[–]marian55670 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These are not men, these cucks are gay
[–]MGTOW_Starter0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's trying to be a "nice guy" so he can get himself a slave master.
[–]LouElmo8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He’s delusional.
[–]hrm08942 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol it's because he doesn't have the experience that he thinks he has. Just look at his profile picture, he's in his teens/early twenties! Dumbass is going to learn the hard way just like literally every other married man.
[–]LouElmo0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True. His fall will be hard. Hopefully it comes soon while he’s young and he doesn’t waste years of his life.
[–]cobaltcolander5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
120.000 likes - double facepalm.
[–]hrm08944 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
By mostly women, of course. hahah
[–]cobaltcolander1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And disgusting whiteknights.
[–]ThaiEscapePlan6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You have to check out his twit feed. other hits:
To all the guys saying I’m only doing this for “pussy” or that I’m a “kiss ass to women”you weren’t raised right lol.
or
A girl that remains loyal to you without a relationship is a girl you should marry.
or Kiss her, and make her happy 💋.
[–]hrm08946 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol jesus christ the simpage is next level. And a girl that remains loyal? What? No such woman exists lmfao
[–]drummerdude12324 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtfffffffffff the 2nd one lmaoooooo
[–]MesaBoogeyMan4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Faithfull????? What planet this cuck from lol
[–]oirectine004 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"There. I Tweeted it. Can you touch my peepee now?"
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She has a headache tonight but definitely tomorrow
[–]buzzingkidder3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This guy is single because this woman doesn’t exist
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fucking ass probably gets more tail than I have in my life, too...
[–]MesaBoogeyMan7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That tail is worth 7 seconds of busting your nut. After that his ass is controlled. You aren't. The risk not worth the reward.
[–]Samsquamch1172 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He forgot emotional parasite
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Financial planner” is the one that gets me the most. She plans what she wants with your money then you still have to save for retirement and pay the bills
[–]kikkamokkeli1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"A few moments later"...
[–]humidtexan1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For the price of faithfulness and affection...until she "gets bored"...
[–]pusymaster1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
pornstar? I bet this virgin whiteknight thinks sex is like porn
[–]marian55671 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Show me a woman with style, good finances who knows how to cook and how to fuck. It's only in your wildest dreams
[–]Roland_of_Giliad1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He'll learn the hard way
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What a loser lol
I find this completely hilarious...
A chef knows how to cook, and will do so without complaining, or demanding you compensate for the time they spent cooking the meal by doing a bunch of other shit around the house.
I do believe a financial planner is meant to improve your money management. As if having to pay for dates, vacations, and jewelry is going to improve anyone’s financial situation.
And as for that comment about a woman being like a pornstar... r/deadbedrooms
[–]labiteatibit1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Simp of the year award goes to Joshua! We'll see you here in a few years Joshy old buddy.
[–]TheMarvelousSchmuck1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
stylist
Lack of style is entirely on you, and relying on some woman to give you some is weak.
financial planner
HAHAHAHAHA... Ha ha... ha... Oh God, are you serious? The poor bastard, he doesn't know. He's in for quite the ride. Oh well, you reap what you sow.
chef
Pfft, I know more men that do the cooking in their relationships than I do women. Some of them are pretty good at it too. And again, if you can't cook your own meals, that's on you, you lazy prick.
pornstar
Fucking lolwut. Yeah, pornstar for the dude she's fucking behind your back maybe. I don't know what kind of boring-ass porn you've been watching where the woman lays there like a starfish.
But hey, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he found a girl who is actually into him (and gives even somewhat of a shit in bed). Any sexuality from her is going to dry up after... let's say a year, two tops. After that, you'll be lucky if she can even muster up the energy to give you a disinterested handy.
all for the low price of faithfulness and affection
And sanity. And dignity. And any connection with friends and family that takes away time from her. And more goddamn money than you can imagine.
Seriously, if you think the only price is faithfulness and affection, then you clearly haven't actually taken an objective look at the relationship. The moment you do a real cost-benefit analysis, you'll find that you're the one giving, giving, and giving some more, and what she provides is pretty small and petty by comparison.
It amazes me how deeply men can be fooled by simple access to a vagina. Just because they're allowed in the magical crevice, they start looking at it like they've been given a bounty from God, when it really is just a gross-ass smelly hole attached to a noise-creature that hates you more and more as time goes on.
[–]BlackBoxInquiry1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Notice she leaves out how “good” each role is performed?
Financial planner? Yup, once broken up they’ll take as much of out money as they can.
Porn star? Maybe so, but not with you.
Stylist? Do we need a stylist?
A Chef? As in Chef Boy-r-dee perhaps.
Are there exceptions? Certainly...she’s talking about “tripping”? She sure is...
[–]custos_uk0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Chef is a joke. Most of my mates do the cooking, thanks to feminism this generation think they’re too good to cook meals.
If only this were true
[–]scriptx10 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She will plan her financial future with his wallet. What a dumbass...
[–]ThaCommittee0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/niceguys
[–]RedPillMissionary0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If by financial planner he means money burning furnace
financial planner?
no thanks.
[–]JTKirkSr0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you need all that minus the porn star. You're lacking in basic abilities.
[–]gadabout130 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
literally the dumbest thing i've read today...this guy needs to be drug tested and sterilized ( YOU! out of the gene pool!)
[–]LuvMeTendieLuvMeTrue0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But what are the reactions if I put up a tinder post asking for a woman to be a porn star, a chef, a financial planner and a stylist?!
[–]StoneTempleFlyboy0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You'll notice guys that go on like this can't do any of these things themselves and are momma's boys, so her half assed skills at making a grilled cheese sammich and paying the minimum payment on her credit card seems like black magik to them.
[–]rooster-one40 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
financial planner, chef and pornstar? ha ha. Here's my $2 pour water in with the shit in a box that cost me somehow 4x's what it would cost anybody else in the world, and box of donuts for me to eat because I'm stressed from making this hamburger helper and measuring fucking water.
Fucking girls dressed in man-skin raised by retarded mom's...that's who writes this shit. Retards.
[–]TheObelisk0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"You're unbearably naive."
[+][deleted] 7 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
For everybody else.
[+][deleted] 7 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It looks like it wasn't appreciated much. :/
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