I'm late 30's. Look like I'm early 20s in face and body, but feel very broken inside emotionally due to dating shitty women (and also became shitty to women myself because of this); finally, I spent my quality years chasing women instead of chasing life advancing challenges.

I've since sworn them off...haven't dated or had sex for almost 2 years, despite a few good offers. The potential Me Too and the destruction of my own soul isn't worth it.

I've realized a big part of why I feel empty is no challenge. I would love to go back to college. But there's a catch though; it has to be worth it.

This forum has the ONLY collection of correctly aligned hearts and minds on the planet that I would trust to understand how I feel and why I feel it on these issues. I'm not asking for you guys to choose FOR me...I'm just asking what is realistically able to be achieved.

1.) I would love to go back to school for computer engineering...I have a very strong interest and always do well in math and computers. But I'm worried about the current "women in STEM" trend, and would like a job with no women if possible, ESPECIALLY as my manager. Would jobs resulting from a BS in computer engineering allow that to happen? Would something close like electrical engineering or computer science be better? I would also need to stay away from a job that has frequent heavy lifting, as my knees and back are somewhat old prematurely due to years of factory work from previous jobs. So construction jobs and the like are probably immediately out, amongst other hard labor jobs.

2.) Would that degree be worth it in the long run financially? I'll have to work 40 hours a week, so I'll only be able to go half time. I won't take more classes than that because I WILL burn out (I know this from prior experience the first time around in my late teens). Doing that and going summers, it'll take me close to a full 6 years for a degree, during which my job will pay basic bills, and loans pay for college. Is it financially worth it to be 50k-70k in debt at age 45 with a b.s. degree and just starting a computer engineering career? Will I be able to pay off those loans? Buy and pay off a 125k house one day?

I've thought through this for months, and I can't figure it out alone. I know I WANT this...I just need to know ( from people who have more experience than me) if it's realistic and worth it.

Thank you in advance from the bottom of my ( unfortunately, but fortunately) black pilled heart for any relevant feedback. I just want to figure things out before I lose too much more hope.

Note: I said so much just because I wanted my situation to be succinctly clear, to provide the best picture, so you could give me the most accurate input.

Edit: Holy shit, I wasn't expecting one response, let alone 4+. :O T H A N K. Y O U. A L L! I haven't had a chance to digest it all yet...give my just awoken brain a few hours to think please lol. I'll respond with specific thanks once I do.