AITA for refusing to fire our maid (at my wife's request)

19,310 points•1,305 comments•submitted by Conflicted1one1 to r/AmItheAssholePoir ignorant guy3

Edit: Well fuck me I just spoke with my maid. She says she hasn’t seen my wife cheating but that she came home a couple of weeks ago and found my wife having a glass of wine and lying on the couch with a guy she’s never seen before. From her description I’ve never heard of him either. She kept it to herself as she assumed it was just a close friend of my wife.

I guess this thread serves no purpose and will get locked now. So before that happens just want to thank those of you that brought this possibility to my attention. Honestly thought my marriage was perfect I never in a million years suspected my wife would be unfaithful.

My wife and I have 5 kids together, ranging from 2 - 15. My wife is a stay at home mom while I work a full time (8am to 7pm, 5 days a week) job.

We live in Hong Kong where it's the norm to have a maid (or "domestic helper" as they're called here) rather than being limited to rich. Our maid is a 34 year old Filipino woman that has been working for us since she was 19 years old. She lives with us in her own room and gets weekends off.

The problem is that my wife wants us to fire our maid. She hasn't given any specific reason other than "I don't want a maid anymore." I honestly have no idea where this change in attitude is coming from, but I don't want to fire her because:

  • She has helped raise my kids for 15 years and is almost part of the family at this point

  • She relies on this job to send money back home and it would seriously affect her and her family to lose it

  • We still have an infant/young children that require constant attention

  • I work extremely long hours and don't want to have to do cooking/chores on top of that. My wife doesn't cook nor clean so I am extremely skeptical that she will take up all the chores once our maid is gone

The woman in question is nothing but kind/polite and I don't understand where my wife is getting all of this resentment towards her.

I'll mention this now in case people think she's jealous: my wife is significantly more attractive and we spend all our spare time together. Jealousy does not seem to be the case here.

AITA?