I just wanted to share this for the guys out there who can relate. So I am a single Dad who first started digesting the Red Pill about four years ago. Unfortunately like most people I experienced all the phases, sometimes repeatedly like the bargaining phase, Red Pill rage, etc.

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I've always enjoyed being by myself, but when I was very young I got married and had a child with a woman who was older than me that was a party girl I met at a club one night. I was so smart at 18...

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Unsurprisingly she was super lazy and demanding which ultimately caused me to initiate the break up. I am really happy that we have been able to remain friendly enough to have split custody for the entire duration with no signs of her trying to really renegotiate any terms or take me to court, I have very good access to my child and I am doing my best to be a great father to her.

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My ex also has sons with her current husband that she married not long after we divorced.

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Now that the background is out of the way I want to outline the stages I went through:

For over 1 year after the divorce I did not consider dating, I was full on red pill rage mode... but then the dick thinking kicked in, so I downloaded this new "Tinder" app welcome to the bargaining phase part 1. Boy was I grossed out by 90% of the results on there, but I matched with a few gals and went on a few dates. It was a bit disturbing how many of them put out on the first date, and then expect you to commit to a serious relationship with them. All of them would have failed the dick stacking test.

So after about 4 of those women I took another almost 2 years off and was completely monk mode. But, then I met easily the best woman I had ever been with, and though we were only together 6 months, she managed to at least disguise herself or if not genuinely be better than any of the previous ones. Here's the problem though, I had digested so much of the Red Pill and consumed MGTOW content every day for the last 4 years without fail. I can not trust any woman. It didn't matter that we had sex almost every day, that she would do just about anything, that she would cook and bake and listen to my problems and even appeared not to lose much respect for me when I talked about my feelings (Yes it sounds very unlikely I realize) I still couldn't get myself to want to commit. When I broke up with her a lot of my friends got mad (They are all married) Of course their wives were even angrier, now I was back on the blacklist. Don't let that single guy influence your husband right ladies?!

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Anyway, it's not like this woman was perfect, AWALT, including my mother, my sisters, my daughter I realize that, still love them all. I just know they're grown children, not adults in the way men have to be. But she was pretty much what every guy would trip over themselves for. 9/10 looks, very sweet very agreeable, worked full time but would still have dinner on the table for you and want to have sex after in the evening. Nearly every day for 6 months. There was just one thing, too many past sexual partners. I started to think this woman was treating me so well out of desperation. She claimed she had been with so many guys that leave her right away, probably because she comes on too strong so the alphas can see an easy opportunity for a clean break if they are running pump and dump. I wasn't exactly going to try to red pill her...what would be the point, and I am sure it would fall on deaf ears anyway.

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I know what most of you are thinking. 6 months isn't that long, she'd have shown her true colours eventually, she would have stopped the chameleon act as soon as I let her move in (Was never going to happen anyway) and I agree that's the most likely outcome. I simply told her I've been burned badly enough in the past that I just don't think I can do a LTR, and I am definitely not interested in marriage, more kids or cohabitation.

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Something Sandman says resonates with me, I know he's the "McDonalds of MGTOW" but I think he describes some of the feelings we get pretty succinctly. He says when he gets in a relationship he can't help but white knight and that men in relationships tend to white knight for all women. I have the same thing. The moment I got used to my relationship with this woman I tried my best to rationalize staying in it, but the red pill part of my brain always wins, it wasn't really even a close fight, I got claustraphobic and had to break up with her, agonized over how to do it for weeks and in the end simply had to pull the plug.

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How could I really trust her behavior was not just a front she puts up to lure someone in? I know too much now about female and human nature in general to trust relationships. I feel much better having my half time parenting my daughter, doing my own hobbies and working a lot.

And finally I just want to say MGTOW monk is really hard to sustain consistently for years, especially when you are in your 20s and the hormones are raging. But the truth of the matter is you'll never regret jerking off to adult content or getting a doll or whatever you want to do that covers your sexual needs, I just can't endorse actually dating. Between divorce rape, STDs, false accusations, child support, alimony, etc I agree it's safer to just not play the game. Maybe I can make it longer than 2 years in Monk Mode this time, it's all up to me to make it happen though, I know.

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TLDR; Dated a woman after a few flings and even though she seemed great I simply could not bring myself to undo my programming and risk it for a woman again, I have too much to lose. I also want to make the point that you need to learn from the experience if you digest the red pill and still bargain with reality, but forgive yourself for it, your biological impulses are pretty strong, videos and forum threads telling you the truth doesn't necessarily mean you won't make any mistakes along the way. Just try to be rational, try to use your big head. No one is going to take any responsibility for your actions and choices, you have to, because you are a man.

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Bonus question: Do you MGTOW guys with kids especially with daughters think that makes it harder to keep your red pills digested?

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