"That's not how I remember it."

DavidShekelburg · 2018-10-11T03:19:14+00:00

Or they say "I didn't raise you like that" when they literally did.

FedoraMGTOW · 2018-10-11T03:11:35+00:00

Gaslighting is a tool used by narcissists.

re_all · 2018-10-11T03:12:08+00:00

My mother says she “can’t remember” saying that if I died while she was beating me with a metal pole, that “it would be good” so she wouldn’t have to raise me anymore.

I was 11 at the time.

AWALT, even mothers

Reason she beat me was to vent frustration due to the impending divorce with my father. (He wasn’t living at the house anymore)

jew_throwaway9 · 2018-10-11T03:23:32+00:00

as another MGTOWer said once, feels>reals. Women have no logic, so stop trying to find it

TopherOHoolihan · 2018-10-11T03:55:14+00:00

Holy shit this is like syncronicity. Was probing my mother about my childhood today and she was straight up denying things I remember.

derpitaway · 2018-10-11T05:44:40+00:00

Story time. Got into it really bad with my in law. My mother in law is almost the most fanatical religious person. Middle of argument said some terrible shit. Things cool off and we start a conversation and the terrible shit comes up. Looks at me in the eye and denies saying this. There were 5 witnesses. Argument with her daughter. Almost same premise. I repeat to her word by word what she just said to me . Tells me she never said that. This is all in the span of five minutes. It hit me then. It doesn't apply to them. Logic does not apply to them if it will ruin the image they potray to the world.

jonathino001 · 2018-10-11T04:47:08+00:00

I have mild autism which caused me a lot of stress when I was younger, but even after I got the diagnosis my mother would still do shit that you shouldn't do to someone with autism. Whenever I'd ask her to stop doing something, she'd usually brush it off as unimportant, or as the parent she knows better. But when she's forced to accept she's done something wrong, usually as a result of my therapist giving her an expert opinion she cannot ignore, she says "well you never told me about this, how am I supposed to know?" The reason I don't tell you is because whenever I do tell you, you don't take me seriously.

For example, people with autism often have control issues. One of the biggest problems I had was she would ask if I wanted to go do something in town, for example "we're going to watch this movie in the cinema, do you want to come?" and my response would be "Is that all we're doing?" and she'd say "Yes. I promise we're just going there." so I'd agree... and then afterwards she'd be like "oh i wanna go shopping here, or go eat here, ect. When I said I have control issues, this is what I meant. I don't want to go do these things. I went out of my way to clarify that we wouldn't be doing these things before we came here, and yet I'm still being forced to do them against my will, with no power to get myself out of these situations.

Because of her doing this repeatedly, whenever I'm asked to go out somewhere with the family, I always say no. Because I simply cannot trust that she won't go back on her word. It's so bad that they even did it on my birthday, and that night I had a panic attack so bad that I became physically ill.

And yet it's my fault. She's so incapable of taking responsibility, she has to offload it on a child. A child WITH AUTISM is expected to take more responsibility than her.

MrStokeMan · 2018-10-11T05:10:08+00:00

I had to deal with this in a extremely harsh way. As a child, all the way up until I was 13, my parents were both physically abusive. I have tried bringing up some of the instances to them, but they are always met with statements along the lines that you're talking about.

I don't know why, but baby boomers are addicted to pushing their problems under a rug.

rofolol · 2018-10-11T07:24:06+00:00

My mother repeatedly yelled at us kids that she could have done <insert alernative reality> instead of giving birth to us, that she should put poison in our food and then poison herself with various household chemicals including pesticides. A number of times i ate my dinner thinking oh well, i cant do anything about it if its poisoned. My dad was always there. Neither of them remember. I dont talk tothem anymore for that and everything else. I hope they die long painful deaths.

MGTOW_monk_mastery · 2018-10-11T07:30:33+00:00

Yeah my mom takes a similar approach and it's extraordinarily frustrating. I don't really trust her for anything, not to keep her word, not to keep my secrets, not to give me good advice, not to admit to her own bad behavior, or ever sincerely apologize for anything, or sincerely admit a mistake, certainly not to think about my future or happiness with a concept of me as an independent person separate from her own ego. she's got an enormous streak of narcissism, but she is an American woman, so I repeat myself...

She's a dishonest, self-obsessed, lazy, self-satisfied, overprivileged spoiled woman obsessed with her own image, like every other human with a vagina that I've ever gotten to know. I try to love her in spite of what I think of her, mainly for my own peace of mind, but it's hard when I know she's incapable of honesty or self-awareness, which also means I'm incapable of respecting her, because she has very little understanding of personal integrity, reality, or hard work, and without those traits there's no way I can respect someone male or female.

3rd_viewpoint · 2018-10-11T10:56:54+00:00

I think it's a way to eliminate cognitive dissonance

You're right. I read somewhere that there is a special area in the brain that actually erases memories that hurt a person's ego. This is to maintain positive image of oneself. That's why shaming is painful and effective: it tarnishes self image.

MAJIIC · 2018-10-11T17:39:09+00:00

Many times. You're definitely not the only one. I must have "imagined" my entire childhood

RaceREurobeat · 2018-10-12T02:29:23+00:00

During highschool somebody said that I threw rocks at people during elementary school

All I remembered is that I threw dirt at people

Title	"That's not how I remember it."
Author	TheBestBeans
Upvotes	51
Comments	14
Date	October 11, 2018 3:01 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/9n67ye/thats_not_how_i_remember_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/thats-not-how-i-remember-it.477653 https://theredarchive.com/post/477653

Comments