I noticed that gray man mode (that I actually picked up from SAS documentary) is not that well defined. it has been also very often referenced in discussions. so, I tried to sum it up — please kick me if I fucked up.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/becoming-grey-man-robert-tilford/

Gray man mode is something that (for example) SAS operatives use to handle interrogation. It means: no overt resistance, no divulging of details, just playing a role of insignificant person who warrants no attention.

It means that you appear pliant to outsiders, do not attract extra attention and try to keep your mental and physical health in condition.

What this means for a MGTOW?

It is a useful strategy to cloak yourself in plain sight. Society and politically active people are the ”interrogators” and what you want them to do is to leave you alone. You don’t really want to trigger a rush reaction from insane feminists by broadcasting politically incorrect opinions out loud since they will dogpile and publically humiliate you.

However: if you get cornered or publically humiliated, the gray man strategy has failed.

from here one you have two options: keep quiet and hope it passes, or go for offensive. if this thing happens in social media never go offensive — you cannot win there. you will look like an asshole to outside observers no matter how good your argument is, and it will be stored for a long long time.

for small group activities, offense may be valid option

in small groups, you don’t need to take shit. you can start questioning arguments or laugh at weak ones. you can also probe for more information. in many cases the situation releases after couple of questions when the person notices that will you not just roll over and you are willing to duke it out. take your victory and leave — there is no use trying to humiliate a retreating person. that person might align with you after thinking it through.

never use keywords (like MGTOW) — frame argument without any identifiable trigger words and form an abstract argument. it is very hard to attack that kind of arguments.

TL;DR avoid useless arguments by being invisible, and if you need to duke it out: be smart about it and allow your enemy to become your friend (ie don’t hammer him/her down)