Trapped

BanMagnet · 2017-07-20T19:20:35+00:00

You wait another 15 years the alimony and duration will be more than the child support now...I'm retired military...trust me. Plus, your retirement

VoxVirilis · 2017-07-20T21:45:20+00:00

I do not advise this wait another 15 years plan. As others have mentioned there's mental health issues, indefinite alimony, etc.

You remember that line in Gladiator when Russell Crowe is being pushed to become "political"? He says "A soldier has the advantage of being able to look his enemy in the eye". Meaning he doesn't have to engage in subterfuge, double-crossing, lies, & manipulation. Unfortunately for you, events in your life have converged such that you can no longer get by as an honorable, dutiful soldier. You must now become a duplicitous, cunning, Machiavellian politician.

At Home.

Do as you plan. "Keep up the status quo". Let your wife think she has won. When you can, document her infidelity as well as anything else she does that can be used as leverage in the divorce.

Not at Home

Speak with divorce attorneys (plural). Learn what your options are in your current location. Learn what is and isn't good leverage in the divorce, especially with regards to proving she's an unfit mother so that you can get custody of the children. Some counties/states have fairer divorce laws than others. If you stand a decent chance of being able to divorce her, get custody, and not get financially ruined in your current location, great! If not, start researching which counties/states have better divorce laws and also have military bases you could get stationed at. See what you have to do to get stationed in one of those areas and do it. Pick a geographic region your wife will be interested in moving to, or at least not terribly opposed to.

Once you are in a location where you stand a good chance to come out of the divorce with custody & without being devastated, start having Initial Consultations with divorce attorneys. Look up the top 10 in your area and meet with them all. Meet with as many as you can. You are only going to hire one of them, but by meeting with them first your wife won't be able to hire them. Make it so she has to get some third-stringer, nobody attorney. Document all the attorney's you've met with so that if she does show up to court with one, you can prove conflict-of-interest & get him removed from the case.

No more than 3-5 years from now

You've collected and cataloged years of evidence of infidelity as well as other leverage. You've moved (if necessary) to a region where you have the best chance of getting custody without getting divorce raped. You've lawyered the fuck up & made it as difficult as possible for her to do the same. All the while, you've come home and put on your happy husband smile. You've learned to lie. You've learned to go to sleep beside a woman you have spent years planning to destroy. You've grinned and bare'd it when she went "out with friends" to fuck some stranger.

Now its time to bring the hammer down.

She's going to want to go do some long-weekend cheat-fest. Let her do it with a smile. While she's gone you are packing up all your shit & moving it to your new apartment. She most likely left you to watch the kids while she's off gallivanting. Despite the conniving, Machiavellian monster you've had to become, don't poison the kids. Be as impartial as possible. "Mommy & Daddy will be spending some time apart".

She comes back from her little trip, walks through the door, and starts asking about the stuff packed in your vehicle. (the last load to go to the apartment) You say nothing, hand her an envelope (containing the divorce paperwork), walk out the door, get in your car and leave.

Cold as ice.

You won't stay cold as ice. In fact you'll probably cry your eyes out on the drive to your new apartment. This shit will be the hardest thing you do in your life. Make bootcamp look like a a picnic. But it'll be worth it. You won't relish your ex-wife becoming miserable, but she broke her vows so it's what she deserves.

I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice. Depending on your jurisdiction, your attorney might advise against a point made here. (For example, leaving to an apartment might be construed as "abandoning" the family. Your lawyer might instead suggest getting a temporary restraining order forcing your wife to leave the house.) Always go with the suggestion of your attorney over that of an internet stranger.

Best of luck to you /linkjenkins.

carjackerwilly · 2017-07-20T19:34:04+00:00

Do not underestimate the effect that your plan could have on your mental health. You could end up as a shell of a human being as she fully grasps and uses the power that you have given her. There will be no boundaries for her and she will have a plan years in advance.

thy_neighbor · 2017-07-20T18:44:28+00:00

I'm sorry for you, man. I truly am.

As you pointed out, there's very little you can do, and it all leads to an unfavorable situation for you.
However, aside from giving you a virtual pat on the back and a few supportive words, the only thing I can suggest you is to consult a lawyer: this doesn't mean you will have to divorce, but he will know better than anyone else what are your options at this point.
Stay strong, brother.

phreshstart · 2017-07-20T19:38:38+00:00

This is what I am leaning towards, saying nothing.

This is a smart move for now. From what I've seen here on MGTOW, she will eventually divorce you. I would suggest you gather as much evidence of her cheating as you can, it might help you in the divorce, also try to develop a "gambling problem" and slowly move some of your money to a safe place.

89Thoradin · 2017-07-20T19:10:00+00:00

I have an uncle who got divorced. He is a head nurse at a hospital so works alot of hours. Came home to his gorgeous wife fucking the neighbour. Anyway. He got the children but the court gave her the house and he has to pay her support bs. He agreed under the terms that she gets a receipt for absolutely everything. 5 years in he does not have to pay anything anymore because she turned in receipts that were not for living expenses. Short solution. Get a really good lawyer man. I cannot help with the pain, only you can. Buy a good fucking lawyer. Plan looong before you serve her then papers you know she is.

NietzscheExplosion · 2017-07-20T19:14:41+00:00

Get pat tests.

Xlasingx · 2017-07-20T19:48:40+00:00

some states have indefinite alimony, which starts around 18-20 years of marriage..

if you end up with this, you'll be paying alimony for the rest of your life..

talk to an attorney and get the facts..

DarwinianKEKistani · 2017-07-20T21:01:29+00:00

Find a way to k*** her without getting caught.

.

Note: k*** = kiss (not that evil thing you were thinking. )

She can leave you in every moment and she can still get child support you retard. Have some self-respect and divorce her. She will cheat again and again and she will divorce you the first moment she gets another man.

You are basically a cuck waiting to get divorce-raped. Be a man and end it now. You will get divorce raped anyways. At least stop being a cuck, and make the decision yourself when to end this shit.

You are fucked anyways...

I feel sorry for you. But you need to do something.

I personally hate these in limbo, uncertain, situations...

Mefic_vest · 2017-07-20T21:37:21+00:00

What makes you think that any of your children are genetically yours?

Not trying to shitpost, just a genuine question.

And striking first by being the one to file first is the single best way to get the upper hand. It’s not guaranteed, but it is certainly a strong position to operate from. Remember your military training: aim for obtaining the high ground, do your best to keep it. Being “the man” and sacrificing your future for your kids is not the smart way to go. It may not be the dumbest, but it certainly isn’t in the smart end of the spectrum.

redsfan277 · 2017-07-20T23:39:38+00:00

Shit man....this sucks...start saving up money and putting it away to hide...

Watch Terrence Popp - How to beat the bitch in divorce.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OhdpPrE7wk

I think that we'd like to plan things out but the biggest thing you gotta remember is if she wants to fuck you over she will/can.

I think that the best case scenario is if she wants to divorce...become the biggest BETA mangina and tell her how you can't live without her and that you love her so much and blah blah blah (psychological warfare) -- Maker her think you are such a pussy and such a fagget that she is disgusted by you.

If by any second you show anger and that you wanna get any revenge on her...then she will be scorned and she will throw you under the bus and stab you along the way.

Sorry to hear man. Stay sharp and good luck.

Edit: Also make sure those children are really YOUR children.

a17c81a3 · 2017-07-21T01:46:30+00:00

Listen carefully: Whatever you do don't divorce without a solid plan and preparations.

That's what I did and I only barely survived.

You need to start hiding money. Cash, gold, silver and Dash crypto currency. (Feel free to choose/research others) Dash has a privacy option built into it.
Talk to a lawyer, but make sure the lawyer gets no identifying information, might contact the wife to start shit. Some recommend paralegals who will not do this crap. Act like a beta cuck for a while during preparations.
Quit your job as soon as you have hidden some money. This lowers alimony payments once divorce is triggered.
Sell any assets and move as much as possible into cash. For example sell your house and then rent it/something else. You can tell the missus its to get money for vacations - boom fewer assets to split and more for your slush fund.
Finally: You now have complete control to nuke her financially. Tell her that you will get a divorce, but as long as she acts nice and lets you see your children you will stay with her and support her financially. (If she can't stop cheating just trading resources for access to the children is an option)
The system will never help you. If step 1-5 fail you will not see your kids much or at all and you may have to flee the country. Hide everything. Work for the black market. Never trust them. As soon as you enter a court room you pretty much already lost. The courts also never ever fucking end. There is always another fight. Bribe your woman or flee.

Good luck.

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2017-07-21T03:06:21+00:00

The more you let her walk all over you the more empowered she will feel. Get a lawyer and prepare.

Super_Shitlord_ · 2017-07-21T08:24:02+00:00

Gather evidence of her fucking around. Hire a PI if you have to. Build the best case you can to avoid getting fucked over. Good look to you brother. Kids are the hardest part in all these situations and they do have the power.

antishock8 · 2017-07-20T21:55:02+00:00

Divorce her. Fight for your kids. Pay for a male-friendly lawyer. I won custody of my two kids as an active duty military man. You just have to kick her ass in court like your life depends on it.

JayJayEcks · 2017-07-20T22:03:34+00:00

Get out now.

It only gets worse later on.

Hernes777 · 2017-07-20T22:54:42+00:00

Dude I heard with military after a certain number of years if you divorce she can go after your retirement. Definitely do not let that happen. Get it checked out, you may have to cut her loose soon.

Some_one498 · 2017-07-20T23:44:43+00:00

DIVORCE NOW!!!!

if a spouse is married to you for 10 or more years. They wi ll be entitled to half your retirement

jkarovskaya · 2017-07-21T00:12:10+00:00

I've been in those trenches brother, and I know from bitter experience what you're going through.

I used to say "I'm made of stainless steel" and just put my head down and work year after year to raise my kids as a single dad with shared custody

It's the hardest thing emotionally, and it left damn deep scars and wounds that are not really healed, I have just learned to ignore all that pain because enough years have gone by

Consult a divorce attorney, and figure your best options, and very best of luck and we have your back as much as possible

mgtowmissile · 2017-07-21T08:42:31+00:00

Thank you for your service OP, I'mma pray you and your children get out of this predicament unscathed.

linkjenkins · 2017-07-21T13:58:13+00:00

Thanks guys, it is much appreciated. I am going to get as much incriminating information as I can to help me in the future. Also, I am definitely going to speak with a divorce lawyer, to see my options. This sounding board means more to me that I can say. I literally have no one to speak to about this... thanks again, any more information is great... I will keep you guys updated...

linkjenkins · 2017-08-15T16:40:37+00:00

Update, called the lawyer, in out of the state where I was married so in gonna have a phone consultation early next week. I'm just trying to get all the evidence I can beforehand so when I explore my options, I'll be better off.

My question, is there a way to see deleted messages on an iPhone? I have called AT&T, they said unless it was backed up on the cloud then no. Is there another way? Thanks again!

daymon911 · 2017-07-22T00:41:19+00:00

Start hiding your money. Once the incoming divorce rape hits she'll take you for all you are worth. Worse the military will practically demand you support her. One of my best friends I served with was in a similar situation and it ruined him financially and emotionally. It'll be a long uphill battle for custody. If you don't initiate she eventually will.

mrscene1 · 2017-07-20T18:51:10+00:00

If she cheats and you have evidence, the divorce could go in your favor.

Title	Trapped
Author	linkjenkins
Upvotes	50
Comments	53
Date	July 20, 2017 6:29 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6oi71r/trapped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/trapped.571445 https://theredarchive.com/post/571445

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