I appreciate MGTOW so much and I’m glad even to have this cyber community of like minded men. But I have to admit I’m struggling for this breakthrough.

I’ve reached the point of apathy and I feel more set apart than before. I feel that only I can give myself the approval I need. It’s rough but I can sense it is rewarding.

I am stuck between really wanting to be contemptuous toward women and just being indifferent. Is there really some kind of in between?

And when I get through this and become a better man. How can I even tolerate a woman in my life again. I’m just pretty annoyed with my recent relationships. I dated a cam girl who became a pornstar for brazzers and shit. We dated for two years.

Then I get out of that shit hole and catch feels for some young 18 yr old broad. Felt like a stupid ass high schooler all over again. It was as if I was just wanting to be just as whipped for the next girl.

Just to continue my venting, the girl I was with was Asian, BPD, hypergamous slut. Outright, straight up true. The shit I experienced with her and some of the shit she told me would make your blood churn.

I just have this thing now where I feel I can’t even look at any woman without thinking AWALT. Yet somehow muscle memory made me feel like a fucking kid goo-goo ga-ga-ing over last “crush”.

Anyway I found out this week love isn’t real.

TDLR; Love isn’t real. Only two kinds of love exist. Motherly love and love of ones neighbor. Love of a woman doesn’t exist. Romantic love is a farse.

I can’t help but to hate this sick world rn. But I’m gonna go work out, smoke weed, and listen to metal.