Story time kids because I need to vent.
Dreamt about her last night. I'm quitting smoking and on this drug which - while it works incredibly well to kill your cravings - gives you unusual and vivid dreams.
Well I forgot to take my evening pill and I guess the withdrawal turns the dreams up to 11.
Won't go into details but she was there. Reconciliatory. I held her in my arms and I remember how that felt. How she fit just right. The warmth and structure of her. Like a piece of a puzzle clicking back into place.
Then I woke up where I usually do. Alone, in the life I built for myself after our divorce. It's not a bad life. I own rural property, have a great job, dog, active lifestyle. Just no Woman.
But it still felt like shit. We are programmed by evolution to pursue a mate and reproduce. Every living thing on this earth has that fundamental, core drive. It is an undeniable part of who we are.
And MGTOWs will struggle with it going unfulfilled. I know I do. We know the game is rigged maliciously against us, and so we are choosing long term pain over short term destruction.
So yeah. I woke up feeling like shit and missing her. But then I remembered the last time we talked. And her cheating on me. And all the sacrifices I made for us. And how she treated me on a daily basis.
She wasn't special, she wasn't above all the horrible biological prerogatives that make females Darwinian automata without honour or accountability.
She was just another woman. And behind the mask of that beautiful exterior was the mind of a Viper, whose 'love' was a fleeting infatuation based on eons defunct Darwinian survival values. Who I was as a person didn't matter one iota.
Basically, I remembered the teachings and wisdom of this brotherhood and it got me through it. Many of us will bear the wounds of our experiences the rest of our lives. And they will ache and even reopen occasionally. But with knowledge, and by letting go of dangerous falsehoods, we can ease that pain.
Thanks for reading Brother, and good luck in your own journey.
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