Why am I such a useless coward?

Zombocom1911 · 2016-09-27T15:27:28+00:00

The main problem is, you give a shit about people and what they think of you. Cut every living thing out of your life that rubs you the wrong way with absolute impunity. You are the star of your life story - not them.

project_mayhem_ · 2016-09-27T17:36:38+00:00

nobody is going to stand up for you but you.

let that sink in. go read it a few more times if it helps.

you're on your own. and everybody else is going to shit on you for the rest of your life. they aren't nice like you. they aren't smart and introspective like you. they don't care if they're right or not. they don't have any honor or integrity. you're playing by a set of rules they consider obsolete. you're still thinking through all the reasons why it might be mean for you to stand up for yourself while they've already robbed you and raped you in the ass. as some suggested here, physical training might help, but ultimately it comes down to knowing you're on your own and starting to protect your own interests.

manifesto18 · 2016-09-27T15:28:36+00:00

Take a boxing class... not a boxing class at a really competitive place, a decent boxing school that allows you to train with people that might want to have an amateur fight someday, but they work. This is the kind of place you need.

It gets the frustration out, brother. I used to teach boxing for years and the immediate transformation that I would see (sometimes in the first class) was amazing.

People need to get their frustrations out. I'm serious, it helps so much. Not sure what city you live in, but I'd be happy to help you find a place.

I can't stress this enough! Again, not a place that will throw you in a ring and start throwing punches, a place that will allow you to take your frustrations out in a safe environment but they also teach decent technique.

Myfingersdontwork · 2016-09-27T15:38:05+00:00

Get fit and learn a defensive fighting technique. This will give you the confidence to answer back to people and not put up with their shit.

sadbasturd99 · 2016-09-27T15:17:47+00:00

I stood up to and defeated most of the bullies I met in my life. A few beat me up, not bad just kid stuff. I was super satisfying but....I am 42 now and I am fat and repulsive. It is usually once or twice a week or more someone makes comments about losing weight, about going for a walk, about diet, about drinking water, etc etc etc ad nauseum. I am supposed to take this is a compliment that they care, but I don't really think they care about me. I think they are just fucking assholes who care about themselves and not having to look at someone who disgusts them. So my point is that things come up over and over again in life.

My point is that you will have to deal with shitheads for the rest of your life. The closest thing I have found to what seems like an answer is ACT, acceptance commitment therapy. It has techniques (none of which I have mastered) that allows you to deal well with these horrible emotions. Good luck have fun.

byers18901 · 2016-09-27T17:36:58+00:00

First off start reading at least 15 minutes a day, start meditating, and start lifting.

Secondly find a martial art to pursue. Whether it is karate, judo, ju jitsu, tae kwan do, muay thai, or something else one of these will help strengthen your mind and body. And teach you how to dispatch shitty people with relative ease if need be.

Thirdly learn to talk shit. Not because you want to, but so you can verbally spar back to those assholes. Obviously never instigate. But you must have the skill to fight back verbally (as well as physically hence picking a martial art, again no instigating).

Lastly focus on finding good people. They do exist. You just gotta track them down. Use meetup.com to find people with similar interests and go from there. Also check out How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. A lot of good info in that book on how to develop relationships be it personal ones or business ones. Try and google it to see if you can find a free pdf. If that doesn't work try youtube for an audiobook format. Worse case scenario you buy the book or check it out from a library.

You'll be alright. Just focus on bettering yourself every day. Enjoy the journey and remember you are the master of your fate. So if people treat you like shit cut them out of your life. Fuck them. You don't need that shit.

Go your own way. And one day when you see another brother in need lend your wisdom and your hand.

yellow_black · 2016-09-27T17:46:32+00:00

OP, other people bashing you with words is one thing.

YOU have to stop bashing yourself up. "I am a useless coward" has to go. "I feel useless when I don't stand up for myself". No need to LABEL yourself a coward.

The words you use are very powerful. Read a good book on this, such as "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns. It has some good CBT techniques you can use and which actually make a difference.

Also, physical exercise or sports. People are primitive cunts and no one is going to insult you once you stand up straight and have some musculature. I bet your body language screams, "Beat me up!". Use a webcam or phone camera to record your interaction with a friend and observe your own body language.

Sports or exercise will fix that, as well as inject some confidence.

All the best, OP!

realpra · 2016-09-27T18:08:43+00:00

Guys like to tease each other, just tease back.

If it is too much you can just say "Hey dude/guys I would appreciate it if you didn't do that - it gets on my nerves more than you know".

If they are true aholes then ignore them.

Honestly though respectful bro-code goes further than you would think.

xDuelx · 2016-09-27T19:41:31+00:00

You could have a medical condition. If you think something isn't normal/right, you could be right. Go to a doctor and get your testosterone level tested. I guarantee no man with high T will give a flying fuck about jack shit. Today's world is full of estrogen mimicking chemicals, its in a food, plastic, any recipts you have, things we touch, that fuck shit up.

Bartand · 2016-09-27T20:15:30+00:00

Don't let people walking all over you. 1-You can avoid them 2-If it is not possible to avoid them then you must confront them and tell them your limits. 3-If nothing works then report to authorities.

Bonesteel50 · 2016-09-27T23:52:56+00:00

Two things. Lift weights 3 times a week. Learn about nutrition and eat well.

Both will make you care far less about what people think of you. Why? In a world of fatasses, the decently in shape guy is king. Plus being strong in general makes you less fearful of others.

My-Name-Is-No-One · 2016-09-27T17:35:09+00:00

Before you run off to seek outside answers to internal problems as so many here are Suggesting, how about asking and answering some hard questions?

We're you raised by mom and dad? Or a single mom? Have you always felt awkward or uncomfortable around other men? Did you have any respectable men you talked to growing up and looked up to? or were the methods and ways of men always hazy and confused? You know generally they/we rip on each other and give each other shit as a way of relating and playing around, and with true friends it's basically their way of saying I love you since men are use to living Lives of emotional castration. There's a difference of course between insults in jest and something spoken with blades and poison, but why do you care or rely on others so much anyway? Why listen to or justify or put so much stake in what others think, say an do anyhow? Of course this is all more complex and nuanced than what I've written here, but it's a start.

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-09-27T17:38:03+00:00

However there are certain times where i couldn't bear others' insults towards me, and almost wanted to burst, but more often then not i still clenched my fists and grinded my teeth.

By having a reaction, you're giving them exactly what they want.

Solution: stop caring what other people think.

BooDoug · 2016-09-27T18:23:40+00:00

did you really took that red pill? if you really did, you would not give a sh*t anymore.

baptized-in-flames · 2016-09-27T19:30:25+00:00

Anxiety is a real bitch. What has worked for me is simple. Just stop caring what other people think. I know it sounds like bullshit advice, but it really does work after a while. What I do every time I feel I am being judged is focus on my positive qualities. Hobbies, talents, skills. Realize that they don't know you, only you can truly know yourself.

Phuc_Mee · 2016-09-27T20:22:23+00:00

You need confidence. Go join a brazilian jiu-jitsu school, become a badass, if your "friends" talk smack turn them into a pretzel, extra salt.

MrARichards · 2016-09-27T22:01:22+00:00

Yes stand up for yourself. But also do the following: 1. Pick out what your are good at and or interested in. 2. Go to an event, place, group...where that is valued. 3. Pick out other men who nobody is talking to and ask a few good questions. Show that you value their ideas and have a few good ones of your own. 4. Allow yourself to feel good at this point life is happening. "Roll with the punches" and "the sky is the limit".

Good luck!!!

thuglife9001 · 2016-09-27T22:53:22+00:00

Hey little doormat, don't mind me! Just rubbing the mud off from my shoes onto your face as usual. Wow it's so handy to have a cuck like you. You're a great defenssless punch bag to our endless sadistic, sociopathic jokes. We completely destroy your self asteam for a small chuckle and to let off some stress.

I hope this makes you furious - this is exactly how your """""""friends"""""""" think of you. Stand up for yourself you pathetic fuck you're more than that FUCK. Tell them to go suck a long fucking dick. If you have issues from your supervisor for actually fucking STANDING UP for your yourself, tell them to take the job and shove it up their fucking arse.

Respect is a 2 way street.

givecake · 2016-09-28T02:10:29+00:00

As others have said, you want to avoid situations which make you feel bad. As much as is possible. This will certainly make your life much, much better. We realise though, that there will from time to time be a need to defend one's self - in order to control these situations, model someone who is extremely capable of defending themselves, yet who does not look for trouble. This is the successful way of the world and it will get you results.

Alternatively, seek your Creator. He alone can guide His creatures through each and every situation with a peace that cannot be understood by the world. Your life will be filled with gratitude and gladness, and the promise of eternal life will be your highest objective and reward.

throwawaymr934 · 2016-09-28T02:48:00+00:00

If you can, get a new job at a different company, get to know the people, bang some hookers (it's odd but it gives you some confidence, be chill they like chill), when people make fun of you just give them a smug look like you don't care and move on with life. Most people will make fun of others so they can get their little self esteem boost for the day, don't give it to them. Don't focus on them, focus on yourself. Stand up for yourself. In regards to dealing with insults, I used this shit test guide from the Redpill to learn to deflect and become unaffected by other's insults.

http://a.trp.red/16

http://a.trp.red/17

2016-09-28T02:51:41+00:00

Maybe you're an introvert. Internalize that and accept it. I did. And my career took off, along with my self esteem and a genuine disinterest in what others throught of me. The only thing tha matters is respect. If we respect someone that's better than being a friend. Because it's a mutual understanding the other has qualities we desire or admire.

Pick and choose your friends (who you will stay with beyond moments of disrespect) as carefully as you pick and choose your battles.

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."

Lao Tzu

The advice on physical violence is weak, disingenuous, and lacking intelligence. You have insight, and insight into your own undesirable behaviors. Those fuckers who bully do not.

By virtue of asking this question you've proven that. Do some research on introversion (Meyers Briggs! is a good start), identify yourself, and hone your specifics to be the best you.

You're way ahead of the curve just because you asked this question and demonstrated introspection. Congratulations.

fluffels · 2016-09-28T06:12:28+00:00

Fire back harder. It's the only way to deal with people like this.

Klimthourglass · 2016-09-28T12:13:29+00:00

Anyone who actually takes the time to persistently treat someone like an asshole is the worst sort of coward. The type who preys only on someone weak.

Roquehydrax · 2016-09-28T14:10:51+00:00

If we were wolves, you would have been eaten by now. Anxiety is weakness. Grow some balls. You wont find them on this sub surrounded by boys incapable of dealing with how (lol) mean girls can be

Banned_For_Opinion · 2016-09-28T19:54:33+00:00

I used to be like you, I don't know what happened but now when people give me shit it's like all those times when I was a kid come rushing back all at once and I just shit on people. Sometimes I go a little too far sure, but that's better than cowering like a bitch and regretting your actions for the rest of your life. Get mad at yourself. Call yourself a pussy in the mirror. Then use that the next time something happens and handle it like you should.

Ketsa · 2016-09-30T21:18:16+00:00

Get treated for your anxiety problems, it's a handicap you could do without.

Then everything else will be easier.

Title	Why am I such a useless coward?
Author	troubledsoul123
Upvotes	21
Comments	45
Date	September 27, 2016 3:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/54r0wy/why_am_i_such_a_useless_coward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/why-am-i-such-a-useless-coward.620386 https://theredarchive.com/post/620386

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