Hey guys,

Would any of you or have any of you moved for a relationship? Here is my story ... I am an only child and have been with a girl for a long time now. We met during school while I lived on the east coast, but I am originally from the west coast. I realized for me it is hard to thrive in a relationship without any other people around -- friends, family, etc. She recently moved to a new city still on the east coast. I have visited there numerous times for extended periods, but while I am there I feel completely isolated. It's normally okay, if we just go about coupley things, but when there is conflict I feel unstable, depressed and alone.

Since I can afford to, I bought a house in my hometown and have reconnected with friends and family there. It's like night and day being in the presence of a larger community and people I know well and have a history with. She says my priorities are "ass backwards," e.g. I should spend my life living with her and make that a priority. We've had numerous, numerous conflicts over this, and she is also unwilling to move here, except occasionally to visit.

Although I say all this, it somehow feels like a regression partly, like that's what you're supposed to do ... fall in love, get married, even if you move away from where you're from. Whereas I do feel the reverse -- without people around and being part of other peoples' lives, it's just way too much pressure on a relationship anyway and will be bound to fail. (She is also introverted and I am more extroverted).

I have thought about giving up numerous times and just starting over in my home city. At least also I wouldn't have this same distance issue. Anyway, thanks for reading and would be curious other people's thoughts. I feel at the root of it also is she does not understand what I value or really care, probably a huge red flag.