I was thinking about my dad and how his persona would be totally endorsed by the redpill.

My dad is an unapologetic jerk, always has. He's been very successful with women and I think his narcissism effects his ability for introspection.

Now growing up, everything was his way, for me to take out the trash after washing the floors was considered an insult of his authority. This kind of scorn would be him yelling at me for hours asking why I would disrespect him so. Sometimes these rants would derail into what I would consider now as bullying-like behavior.

I feel like this beat me down to be completely submissive to any authority.

In a way, I was terrified of offending anyone believing that they would react in a similar fashion.

One of my brothers always rebelled against my dad, which I thought was stupid, why make life harder, just do what he says? My brother lives his life on his terms and that is invaluable.

I suppose I've had an epiphany that I chose to be a coward a long time ago, to be a people pleaser, to be agreeable, believing that this was life, a series of walking on eggshells.

And i'm not advocating for being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole but to have a more authentic existence. I'm going to be disagreeable about things I care about.

I also think that redpill aware guys should think hard about how they raise their kids, being a militant parent will either create a rebel or an individual that constantly seeks approval and structure from authority.

Once I left those major institutions and authorities I found myself aimless and unmotivated.

Because when I had made the concession to be a coward I had forfeited my personal autonomy giving license to whatever authority told me what was right.

I'm working more towards what I truly value and what kind of life I feel is worth living.