I left my wife a year ago. We have now bought a house together and brought a new baby boy into the world. We're both significantly happier than we've been in a long time.

When my wife got a promotion, I noticed her attraction to me decrease. I didn't know, but this is common https://fortune.com/2018/03/05/promotion-women-divorce/ I started doing extra chores, working out and doing more with the kids. It made things worse. She saw this as weakness because I was supplicating.

I kept being nicer and nicer hoping she would reciprocate and she kept getting stronger and harder hoping I would reciprocate. Eventually, I decided she was not the nice, kind women I thought she was and I left.

I came back when she told me she was pregnant (yes, the kid is mine). I told her why shit testing is stupid: shit testing is how women ensure they are with a strong man, because he'll stand up to her. Because I love her, I want to give her way more than I would give to anyone else. If she interprets that as weakness, then I need to stop giving anything so that i appear strong. So I explained that to her, and made a point of giving less anytime she shit tested me. It's nice to be able to give more now without being considered weak.

It's common for the man or women who controls the relationship to fake illnesses (see Robert Greene - laws of human nature). I work with patients everyday, so I just started treating her fake ailments with the genuine contempt I felt without arguing with her about them. The bullshit ailments went away and she started to listen to me on how to solve the real ailments, like IV Iron for anemia (Iron pills are really hard on the stomach).

The last change to make a big difference was teaching her evolutionary psychology. Babies are incredibly fragile. Women have developed strong instincts to protect them. Men instead developed protective instincts for their woman. Watch this video with your SO if you want to experience the difference https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T7ihdsjIqhI These instincts are great when there is a baby because the new mother really needs the devoted attention of the father and the baby really needs the devoted attention of the mother. When there is no baby, the mother's instincts mean she cannot tune out manipulative kids cries/tactics and will drive herself crazy trying to give everything to her kids. A man will drive himself crazy trying to give everything to his wife. Both of us needed to realize that when there's no baby, we need to control these instincts.

Helpful books/articles

https://thepowermoves.com/female-relationship-control/

Hormonal https://www.amazon.com/Hormonal-Intelligence-Hormones-Relationships-Influence/dp/0316369217

https://www.loveaddictionhelp.com/love-addiction-cycle

Married man's sex life primer

No more Mr Nice guy