I've been STFU and sidebar for a while now but this is my first post because I need some advice from experienced guys. Quick background: Currently working on dread level 3 and 4, still improving on 1 and 2. Wife and I have been separated since May. She lives with her mom, I have main custody of our 3 children, work full time and she stays at the house when I'm at work. I work 12 hour shifts with a 2 on, 2 off, 3 on etc. type of schedule. I tried everything to make it work while we were split and found the red pill sometime in the beginning. I have spent the entire split obsessively devouring first mainstream relationship advice, then everything red pill I could find.

Somewhere around Sept. I found that she was talking to another guy she met on a dating site. She had told me about him but said they were just friends. I called bullshit and found a bunch of texts but didn't want to believe it, so I let her continue to gaslight me. There was nothing explicit in the texts, just looked like they were flirting and he was being a gentlemen and hadn't made a move cuz he was still married. I read texts not just between them but also between her and best friend. We are split so I expected her to see other people, but what made it rough is she lied about it and kept gas lighting me when I confronted her. And I got suckered into the bullshit and false hope. The whole time we have been having sex a few times a month which she initiates, she also constantly initiates trying to talk to me and go on dates etc. I make her chase me and take an alpha approach. She was constantly being hot and cold; one day she'd be all over me saying she missed me, the next she'd be a bitch or cold.

A few months ago I got tired of the hot and cold thing and decided to move on. Within a week I met someone and told her about it. She blew up, was hypersexual for a week or so, cried, told me she loved me first time in months, you name it. I told her I wasn't sorry, didn't say I love you back, and if she wanted to fix it stop the bullshit and lets fix it, and I won't talk to other girls. So a few months later I am still thinking we are now fixing it, and I finally wake up when I go back through messages between her and the other guy I had saved from months prior, seeing all the shit I lied to myself about the first time. She is still talking to him and continues to lie and say they are friends and it was never anything more.

So here I am, tired of the lies, and dishonesty, makes me feel like I can never trust her again, strongly considering filing for divorce. Of course she'd see someone else, we are not together, AWALT, fine, but my problem is the lies and her trying to prevent me from seeing other people when she is clearly doing the same. My ONE THING was just be honest with me if you want someone else, always. I will add that besides the above we have a great co-parenting relationship and both want to remain friends at some level regardless of how it plays out, although she seems to care more than me, I can do without her at this point completely. I have not confronted her but have re-contacted the other girl (plate) and started talking to her again. I have several approaches available.

A) Continue to STFU about the above and work on dread levels, let tomorrow me make the decision, while I mentally and emotionally prep for divorce without telling her. I feel like this is my best option, but am afraid she will know something's up and confront me when she tries to have sex or kiss me and I don't want to because I am sick to my stomach with her now that I am awake to her games and lies.

B) Confront her, stand firm through lies and gas lighting, see if she finally admits and becomes remorseful, and if she does tell her she kicks him from her life or we are done. I'd rather do this but I really don't see this playing out, I think she'll deny deny deny like she has been doing for months.

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Questions/comments/links are appreciated.

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