I like to post during my wife's PMS, because that is true MRP hard mode for me.

Here are a couple of quick shit tests I encountered during this PMS cycle and some thoughts.

The first one happened about 3 nights ago. As part of my child's bed time routine, she gets 30 minutes of Ipad time to watch cartoons or play games. After 30 minutes, I come in and take the Ipad to read to her. Lately she has been throwing a fit and crying when I take the Ipad from her. The night before I warned her if she did it again, she would not be getting the Ipad the next night. Well, of course the next night she throws a fit. I say she has lost Ipad privileges and the wife comes in and interferes. She tries to comfort our daughter and tells me the Ipad is not mine to take.

Nope, not having it. I pull my wife in the hall and tell her I would appreciate it if she would back me up and not contradict me when talking to our daughter. I don't argue or get into the merits of taking the Ipad away. I say my short piece and head straight to the gym.

The next night when I get home from work the first thing my wife tells my daughter is that her Ipad privileges are suspended for the night and she can ask me when she can have it back again. No crying from the kid or the wife now when I take the Ipad away at night. Boundaries are good for both of them.

The second incident happened when I was going to the gym Sunday afternoon. She usually tries to throw a shit test at me for my weekend gym visits. She hampsters about how I am not in charge of nap times and bed times (even though I do all the hard work regarding sleep, but I don't tell her that, it would get nowhere fast) and bitches that she has to do nap time while I am going to the gym (heavy in her period at this point). The kids were already in their room resting at this point, there was nothing to bitch about.

I give her a sarcastic line about sending me a picture of the family because I obviously forget what they look like due to how little time I spend with them (attempt at A&A). I then just give her a shit eating grin.

She did not take it well, calls me an asshole and literally tries kicking me off the bed. I almost lose frame but keep it together. I tell her that behavior is never acceptable, if I did that to her I could go to jail, and never let that happen again. I leave for the gym immediately.

When I get back, I tell her one more time that was unacceptable, to never let it happen again, and we can drop it and move on. She tries to fight about it, but I do not engage or fight. Instead I go work outside taking care of the house. I do remain distant the rest of the night and leave later that night to get out of the house and away from her shitty behavior. I make it clear I will not condone that behavior and punish with heavy withdrawal of attention. The next night I stay away with soccer and tonight I am working late and hitting the gym.

Since I withdrew attention, she is acting very nice to me, even with her period, and is starving for my attention. I am also letting her figure out her issues at work out herself, stating "that sucks babe" with no advice.

The old me would have fought and slipped into her frame on both these issues ruining entire days. The RP me keeps in my frame, controls what I can control, and acts assertively with my expectation. PMS days are starting to get much better and I am much happier engaging in activities and choirs instead of spending time in her PMS moods.

Lessons -

Briefly state your expectations then STFU.

Do things that make you happy.

Leave her in her own misery.

Keep at it, it gets better every month.