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I am a worthless man

March 16, 2023

I spiral pretty bad in my emotional state. I'm small, I'm weak, and I can't defend myself physically or mentally. I'm such an easy target to pick on, and because of that I've been harassed at close to every job I've had. My social anxiety, or maybe just inability to socialize, takes control in so many situations and I freeze up. I never have good comebacks until moments after a confrontation. I can work out and gain muscle all I want, most battles aren't fought physically. And I'm a wimp, so even in the physical ones I'd lose. I love my gf, but she knows I'm weak. She's got her 6'7 giant father to back her up, and I'm so grateful for that. But she purposely asks him for physical help over me, and I can't help but feel like a failure. People can see pushover written over my face, why would she be any different? I am a worthless man who can't stand up for himself

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Post Information
Title I am a worthless man
Author JassTheBass91
Upvotes 22
Comments 7
Date March 16, 2023 3:58 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]Foxsayy 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My dude, you're not a worthless dude. You're a guy who is dissatisfied with your current habits and upset with your struggles. You can change, and you can win this.

[–]Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not worthless. A measure of a man is not dictated by the physical strength or size of a man.

I've just read through your recent past posts for extra context into your situation.

You're losing weight. You're asking for advice. You're being an active participant in your own life - this is all extremely positive!

I'll say that again. You're being an active participant in your own life. That's the key to a truely revolutionary turn around.

Keep up the weight loss. I am certain it is doing you good.

If you want additional advice, eat more protein and veg, and cut down on sugars ans carbs. Additionally, buy some weights. Ten minutes a day put aside to just lifting them. Can start however you want with that. Or just lift when the impulse takes over or you've nothing to do. It is a brilliant time filler that distracts from things like food. This will help build muscle, burn off fat and is a genuine positive for your body and mind.

Speaking of the health of your mind. Exercise is right up there as the best way of helping keep a mans mental health good. The second is good communication. I'm not saying you need to talk out all of your issues all the time, but learning how to better communicate your needs is important to your mental health.

Either speaking to a councilor, finding a local mens mental health talking group, or just trying to ask for small things you usually wouldn't ask for is a good place to start.

You're not worthless, dude. You just don't value yourself. But we see your value. So lets continue to turn that around! You're on a path to legitimate greatness here. Keep going!

[–]dependency_injector 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People attack you because they are assholes, it is not your fault. No matter how you look, you aren't "worthless", and you don't have to prove your worth to anyone.

A weak person wouldn't have survived all this, and still stay brave enough to talk about it.

[–]Ok_Thought1471 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take one area of your life and work on it, physically or mentally, take one area and improve on it and then when that area becomes better work on another part, and so on. It will take time but do not give up on your self.

[–]Rolaid-Tommassi 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hang in there mate. Life gets better. Could I suggest you look at learning some self-defence programs? The increased physical fitness will be a great help to your mental state and self-image. There are lots of programmes available at local gyms etc. You don't need to become aggressive, but the feeling that you're capable of defending yourself will be a big boost. All the best to you mate.

[–]SpiritualCyberpunk 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What's wrong with being weak? You have other redeemable traits.

[–]Poisson-Soluble 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am skinny, and as a teenager, i had the same troubles being bullied and unable to have good comebacks.

Now things have changed, but not because I am more able to replicate. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Imagine having suddenly what you wish for : will you have better relations with your coworkers ? The risk is that you will probably be as mean with them as they are with you. Hurting people back won't make your life better.

To me, the solution came by finding wholesome friends. People that make you understand that you actually don't have to fight, because this is not a war ; these guys don't necessarily have good comebacks either, when they are in front of someone mean, they just ask "why are you saying this ? Why are you being rude ?".

I think refusing to enter the battle is the only real solution. And if people around make you feel that you are weak for not being agressive, maybe that's the real problem.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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