Six months ago I had a major surgery that didn't go as planned and left me with a number of problems unrelated to the original surgery. I haven't been able to work since and in that time I dove into hobbies and interests I had in order to keep myself sane and occupied.
Yesterday I was talking with a friend that shared a specific interest with me and they told me that they didn't really pay attention to it anymore because they didn't have time. I understand that, but a realization hit me. They were the only one who shared this specific interest and I suddenly had no one to talk to about it.
What followed was a complete realization that while everyone around me are moving on with their lives I'm stuck. I may never function normally again, I'm a fall risk in any kind of movement, cognitively I'm not at the level I was before the surgery, and I may have to be on medications for the rest of my life to deal with it.
My Ex (who I am close with, we separated because she wanted kids and I didn't, it was a sad breakup from both sides) has moved into her dream career and bought a house, One roommate got his dream job and is currently looking to buy a house the other is out of state in the 6 figure level doing contract work saving for a house when he comes back. My two best friends have landed very serious partners and one just bought a place himself.
Meanwhile I am now bankrupt, in debt to everyone I know, and suddenly isolated as I don't really fit into plans with them anymore without even considering the difficulty it takes for me to be involved as it is.
I've had the same group of friends my whole life. The core of us met between Kindergarten and second grade, Two of us have pictures of us from almost 30 years ago.
And I'm crushingly depressed. I'm isolated, alone, depressed, sick, medicated, broke, and the worst part, it may not get better.
I'm not sure what to do anymore and I'm throwing words at the dark because I want to talk but don't have anyone to talk to.
Thanks for reading my rant, hope you guys are doing okay.