Toxic mom ?

BlackoutWalksAlone · 2022-06-04T21:04:49+00:00

First off, as for your question about being over dramatic about your problems. The answer to that is: No, absolutely not. You and your brothers deserve to be treated with more respect than this and (I hope you don't take offense to this) but your mom sounds absolutely horrible and misandric (hating males, boys and men, just because they were born male). In fact, your mom sounds even more disgusting for treating her own sons like this (calling you and your brothers smelly and lazy, holy shit...). I do not blame you one bit for being pissed off for being shit on for something that is completely out of your control (that is the equivalent of a mother trashing and criticizing their child because they were born black, same thing).

Both MEN AND WOMEN deserve to be treated with respect. God, I really wish you and your brothers weren't stuck with her (your sister shouldn't be with her either). This is me giving you my honest to god sympathy. I just hope you and your brothers manage to get out and get away from her as soon as you can (although knowing you guys are minors, it'll take awhile for that to happen either way). I'm so sorry

Cad_Cam_CNC · 2022-06-04T16:09:43+00:00

How often does your mom compliment you and your brother? How can you ever learn if you are constantly being belittled? You need positive healthy encouragement. If your mom isnt showing you the support you need, you need to learn to create positivity else where.

Vedicstudent108 · 2022-06-09T02:25:48+00:00

I assume you dad is out of the pic? If so find a male role model, even if you have to imagine a hero at first. Go to male support groups in your area.

We only know less than half the story, so it is premature for anyone here to pass judgement with only half the story. but fine a role model maybe a teacher or the group leader/ I enjoyed the book THE MYTH OF MALE POWER. It was a real eye opener to the real power in Western society.

UnHope20 · 2022-06-04T16:09:32+00:00

I think that you should just do the best that you can to improve yourself. I would ask for family counseling (With one that is none biased).

If you feel that your needs are being neglected or you are uncomfortable with her requests I would tell her so.

In terms of the name-calling, that is unambiguously unacceptable. I would tell her that it bothers you and ask her to stop. If the behavior continues, I would speak with my schools social worker about it.

Sorry that you are having family issues. But do your best to communicate your needs to your mother in a respectful but honest way.

Hopefully this helps.

FatherOfLights88 · 2022-06-04T19:50:34+00:00

Hi there!

I'm so sorry that you're having this kind of experience of having a mother,

While I do not have specific advice for how you navigate your immediate situation, and the next few years that follow, I'd like to share with you some knowledge/wisdom on this subject matter. It's safe to say that your mother is old enough to be in my generation, or perhaps a few years younger. Using what little you've provided, I'm going to attempt to accurately describe to you the kind of person your mother is. I expect to hit the nail squarely on the head, but please do let me know if I miss the mark.

From what you've mentioned, and how it makes you feel, I can safely presume that your mother is highly manipulative, demanding, entitled, disagreeable, disrespectful, combative, and.... the kind of woman that no man with a decent head on his shoulders would ever choose to build a family with.

She acts and speaks as if men have all the power in the world, and believes that men only want power so as to exercise it over other people. This is patently untrue. What she's really telling you is what she would do if she had the kind of power she thinks men have. She's telling you that she would abuse it and laud it over those who are powerless to defend themselves against her tyrannical mindset. She thinks this way, because she's not a good person. "Good" people don't abuse power. This means that they don't assert their dominance over others, just for the sake of making sure the world knows who's in control.

The whole time that she's playing the role of the 'victimized woman', she's blind or careless to the fact that SHE is the dominant power in your household. If your father is still married to her, she's got him whipped. In your home, "mother" is god. And this particular mother is not a kind and loving god.

There are several things happening with her kind of parenting. First is that she's raising your sister to be just like her. This will end up with your sister having some serious issues later in life. Particularly if she's 'pretty'. At the same time she's damaging her daughter, she's also conditioning you and your brothers to be the kind of "men" that women like her want. She wants you to be broken, subservient, and without a will of your own.

This angers you on several levels. One of which is that you're not the kind of man she's accusing you of being, and you certainly don't want to be the kind of man she's shaping you into. Very few women in the world are capable of raising men. Good mothers raise boys and sons. Women like your mother, on the other hand, raise servants.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about this right now. I am certain that if you try to talk this out with your mother, you will meet a wall of fire and resistance. Her temper will flare, and she'll accuse you of trying to dominate her. She cannot be reasoned with. This means that you have to learn to suck it up for a few more years, until you are no longer living under HER roof. Regardless of who pays for the roof, it's definitely hers.

(End Part 1)

OnYx747373 · 2022-06-04T23:42:14+00:00

Thanks so much for you guy's support it really means alot to me that there are other pple who understand what im going through and doing there best to give me advice thanks so much and i will take this wisdom and use it. thanks alot for the support guys it means alot

Title	Toxic mom ?
Author	OnYx747373
Upvotes	23
Comments	10
Date	June 4, 2022 12:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/v4o9be/toxic_mom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/toxic-mom.1117287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117287

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