Looking for support here please, not sure how to proceed anymore.

121 points33 commentssubmitted by wannaBGoalie to r/SupportForTheAccused

So heres my story, basically I was recently falsely accused of harassment by someone I do not know, however, I happen to frequent the gym she works at, so I see her, but we didn't ever talk more than a simple "hey"

so a few weeks ago police knock on my door late at night, I open the door and thought my parents had been in an accident as they were traveling at the time. The officer proceeds to interrogate me over a supposedly "very detailed written report" of all the ways I have followed, made crude comments, and harassed this girl. now I know none of this is true, but am flustered from the situation and recall asking the officer what i can do to avoid further trouble with this pyscho, he says I should go out of my way to avoid her.

After this I called law offices until I found one who agreed to put me on pre-retainer meaning i did not pay unless i was arrested and called them.

Shortly after I was again ambushed at my home in the evening and taken to jail, apparently she upped her claim to sexual assault and said I had returned back to the gym stalking her (i had not, and this might be what saved me later on). My lawyer told me not to stress as I had such a strong case, not knowing this girl, having no social media contact history, no texts, no nothing. plus my gym has cameras and scan cards to prove if i was there.

She took me to court and it cost 18 thousand dollars. My layer went ape shit on this girl on the stand and made her look ridiculous and she clearly purgered herself.

the judge threw the case out, but I was told I could not retaliate because it would deter future victims of coming forwards?? arnt I the fucking victim here? anyways, my lawyer told me the same, I was simply out the legal fees with no way of collecting.

Now this chick threatened to tell my university all these lies, and even though I've already won the case i worry because my university is extremely liberal, as they all are, and may just punish me regardless. Not to mention I was told i still cannot return to this gym which happens to be one of the largest in Canada and right near my house because she was still allowed to work there.

I dont feel as if I have won, because im still being treated like a criminal anyways, I have restricted access to public locations, fear of being out in my own neighborhood and running into her ect.. not to mention I have developed almost crippling anxiety that hits at nighttime because of having such aggressive police contact twice that I admit, scared the shit out me.

I cant tell anyone about this, as the lawyers suggested its for my best interest to stay quiet, and many of my friends may turn on me and say I must have done something to provoke this (as my own mother did).

I only recently found out I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, the pyscho girls BF had dumped her and so she told him she was scared of me and I had assaulted her to get him back or something?

So here I am, 18 thousand dollars in debt, cant get revenge or it will look bad and I will actually go to prison, cant sue, cant retaliate and still cannot go back to my gym, i live in fear now everyday and hesitate even talking to woman at all. I no longer state my name, where i go to school, or where i live, i am incredibly on guard with females and have lost potential relationships because of this..but I just cannot risk it anymore.

Where do I go from here? my life was turned upside down, and I just cannot wait to graduate and move away so I dont worry about this anymore and can freely go where i please.

To others out there, take this as a warning. My lawyer told me i was "lucky" compared to her other clients because my case was so strong, she told me If it was any less, I would have had a 50/50 chance of going away for this despite no evidence, because all the girl needed was her word against mine, and as a male my word doesn't count in the Canadian legal system.