I want to start off with saying I know some of this is on me but there are unavoidable circumstances later.

I have a 4 year old son, I want nothing to do with him, I will explain further down. I understand my need to pay support and I am completely fine with that. I met his mom 5 years ago now and I was a stupid college kid thinking I was above it all. I decided that getting off in condoms was fine, I knew she had issues and I was pulling away from her. One night she ended up finding out that I was pulling away and considering ending it before it got much further (6 months in). She poked tiny holes in the condoms and lied about still using BC, next thing you know she is pregnant. We broke up a few months later, she is actually the type that did that to keep me and tried for years to get me back.

Fast forward to the birth, I saw him 15 times since he was born (in 4 years 15 times), the first 6 months were as much as I could, I worked 80 hours a week and lived 2 hours away trying to save money to get out of debt. Over time she met a guy kept him from me, i was living with 4 other guys in a house near a local college and it was not a situation to have a child so we never once went to court for custody. I still worked 60 hours a week when I went back to school to finish my IT degree thus making it impossible for me to go visit since I worked every weekend and my free time was devoted to study and homework.

Child-support Hearing 1. Still in school and working my ass off I have to pay $100. She takes me back, I lawyer up (I am in PA mind you). I come out with only paying $80 a month thanks to my lawyer mentioning I cannot be put as a full time employee since I was still part time so my hours could dip, and did from time to time, under 20 when the store did poorly. I mainly survived by picking up shifts from people who took off.

Child-support hearing 2. a couple years later, I was making 40k at this point in a full time job, she agreed to $300 a month (state mandated $550).

Child support hearing 3. I am now making 45k, she refused to deal, i took her back after I was told i will be paying $700, I lost. Technically after the arrears are done I will pay $611.

Make matters with that worse she only pays $21 for daycare, the state covers the rest! And then I pay the $21 as part of my support.

I am not saying that I shouldn't pay, I should and that is fine. I just dont know what to do, I am about to turn 26 and can hardly pay my mounting bills and have food and gas money with the mass amount of money I am giving out. She is mandated to work 40 a week once she gets her right to carry permit for her job but she quit the last one where she made just under 40k because 40 hours a week was to much for her. She works between 26 and 32 while I bust my ass and have to try and get a raise every year or look for a new job to compensate for the massive amount of money I owe.

When I do the math with all utilities (mind you this is split 3 ways), gas for my car, food, student loans, credit card payments (had to live on them for a while). I barely come out with 100 a month, god forbid my car breaks down, I loose what tiny savings I have left.

In the last meeting I mentioned how my cell phone is not reimbursed (only IT guy and I am on call 24/7/365) nor my internet (lower Verizon so I can VPN to fix a quick issue). She was almost 20min late to the hearing and yet I still am the one who was looked at negatively, I actually pay her more in support than she makes in 2 weeks. She just posted on facebook a week ago or so that now that she "has a good job" she can move into a bigger place, mind you she has been fired from every single job she has ever held. The money she's talking about is what is supposed to be used for my son but apparently it's better used for her to have a place above her means.

I just don't know what to do, I have a very supportive girlfriend thankfully. I am hoping someone who has had this experience before could lend some words of wisdom and maybe help make the next 14 years not hurt so much. Thanks for reading.