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Juan_Golt Archive

View 2 posts and 978 comments by Juan_Golt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Seen it before. It basically repeats the misleading and manufactured stats that circulate around feminist circles. It's a hit piece on the MRM, so I don't find it particularly motivating. For example: "only 9% of cases go to family court 91% settle" <- Find the souce behind this. It doesn't exist, and even if it did, it proves nothing about court bias. Yet it's used as a prop to explain away the legal differences in motherhood vs fatherhood. My positions aren't exclusive, merely unmoved by calls…
/r/MensRights07/11/19 05:53 AM
2

See also the services section: http://www.judicialcollege.vic.edu.au/eManuals/FVBBWeb/index.htm#34644.htm Child Protection Crisis Line: To report concerns of child abuse and/or sexual abuse. Telephone 131 278 (24 hrs toll free). Child FIRST: Contact details for services are available on the website: http://www.office-for-children.vic.gov.au/fs/child_first InTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence (InTouch) – formerly known as Immigrant Womens’ Domestic Violence Service: For immigrant …
/r/MensRights25/10/19 03:50 AM
2

Obvious troll is obvious.
/r/MensRights22/06/19 05:58 PM
1

Services do exist for men male behavior change program Right, and how many female behavior change programs do the offer? How many male victim services? build up support for men, not tear down support for women It's not about tearing down support for anyone. Only that the criteria for support should not be based on gender. Duluth model also guides arrest policies FYI. One of the reasons that abused men get arrested is because they show police all these biased stats about how 98% of DV victims are…
/r/MensRights22/06/19 08:11 AM
3

out from under poor men and tell them to deal with it. Check the gender stats on entitlement programs. You'll find that a majority of the costs are paid by men, and the majority of benefits accrue to women.
/r/MensRights12/06/19 05:45 AM
4

Democrats and Republicans agree on few core issues, but in regards to men, they are exactly on the same page. This is one of those threads that is going to divide us more than help anything, but we have to acknowledge that the two parties aren't 'the same' when it comes to the treatment of men. Democrats: Joe Biden authored VAWA, and it was signed by Clinton. The Title IX campus kangaroo courts happened under Obama. Mattress Girl and Gillibrand. Kavanaugh. Vote against shared parenting at the st…
/r/MensRights12/06/19 05:31 AM
2

He gave constructive feedback (as requested) on how to improve a program that was a stated objective for his company.
/r/MensRights09/06/19 01:47 AM
1

I think there is a feedback loop that causes the ideology to become self reinforcing. A feminist woman taken in by ideology demands that whoever she dates shares those views. Ergo the men that she dates are the outspoken feminist types. Personally I tend to get a 'projection' feeling from a lot of male feminists. Take something like rape culture, and the idea that men are consistently trying to exert societal power to repress/control women. If you are a guy who believes this with certainty, and …
/r/MensRights07/06/19 06:25 PM
1

In most states unmarried fathers have zero rights. In practice this means that the onus is on the father to prove any legal right to custody. One of the things I dealt with regularly was having to present a series of signed/court sealed documents to law enforcement. If anything in the court order was even slightly ambiguous then law enforcement would side with the mother. She didn't have to prove anything. Even when things were directly worded and they couldn't ignore it, they would just say "go…
/r/MensRights07/06/19 07:08 AM
2

Eh, it's an ad for cervical screening. Seems like a pretty minor thing to be concerned about.
/r/MensRights31/03/19 11:36 PM
3

the statistic is based on hourly pay. The 'wage gap' stat '77c' is total earnings between male and female full time workers. It does not take into account hours worked beyond qualifying for full time. It measures someone that works 60hs a week the same as 35hrs/week.
/r/MensRights31/03/19 08:51 AM
1

Obvious troll
/r/MensRights06/03/19 01:14 AM
5

A movie about the Night Witches of WW2? Nah, lets just re-make The Hulk as a single mother.
/r/MensRights06/03/19 01:02 AM
3

bait
/r/MensRights22/02/19 04:42 AM
13

Can you explain to me how Feminists are doing anything to keep men away from their children? Back in the patriarchy days of the 1800s men did get sole custody of children by default. Mothers were not considered inseparable from their children. First wave feminists created the tender years doctrine. Which established the maternal preference we had for over 100 years. Second wave feminists created the duluth model of domestic violence, which posited that DV was a uniquely male crime, and that wome…
/r/MensRights13/02/19 12:56 AM
5

Meh, the commercial is cliche, but it doesn't bother me. Saying 'Jeff is bad' is a world apart from 'men should behave better'.
/r/MensRights11/02/19 04:30 PM
2

FWIW, you do gain rights to your children. Father a child in a marriage and you are automatically given parental rights, just like the mother. This is not true for unmarried fathers. Even in the case of divorce, many states treat divorcing dads much more favorably than never married dads when it comes to child custody.
/r/MensRights11/02/19 02:34 PM
2

Obvious bait/troll. The post is pretty bad, but the responses are a straight up caricature.
/r/MensRights08/02/19 06:03 AM
102

There aren't enough actual misogynists to justify the scope of feminist ideology. Put yourself in their shoes. You've been primed for years that you are living under patriarchal oppression. You honestly believe that society is setup with pervasive tools to negatively affect women's compensation, safety, and health. Yet the problem is that you never seem to find the people responsible. Or at least not in great enough numbers. There just aren't enough actual people openly interested in "keeping wo…
/r/MensRights03/02/19 09:07 PM
-1

Fake
/r/MensRights29/01/19 10:48 PM
1

obvious fake
/r/MensRights18/01/19 06:17 AM
2

There hasn't been an MRM for 100 years, so that's an odd timeframe to pick. Even 50 years would be a stretch. The best example I can give is the gradually changing laws surrounding child custody. The last 50 years has seen the death of the tender years doctrine, and the steady growth of joint custody. With many states moving to a joint custody presumption.
/r/MensRights07/01/19 04:16 AM
1

Eh, it's a comedy show. I'm not interested in policing people's jokes.
/r/MensRights20/12/18 03:21 PM
4

Yeah those evil MRA's (Marine Recreation Association), keeping women off their boats!
/r/MensRights11/12/18 07:06 AM
6

I find it more productive to talk policy rather than ideology. It's rare to have a productive conversation that involves someone who just thinks "feminism means equality" and stops there. They have no idea that the associated policies and activism don't necessarily match the slogans. Because the reasoning is so superficial it tends to have this false dichotomy: "Feminism means equality, therefore if you say you don't like feminism it must mean you don't like equality" Trying to get past this dir…
/r/MensRights10/12/18 03:18 AM
7

The crucial difference is the starting point. Once this is understood everything else makes sense. Being a father confers no parenting rights at all. Yet being a mother does confer parenting rights. Most states in the US have the following legal setup: Mothers always get parenting rights from the moment the child is born, unless adoption or removed by the state for cause. Fathers only gain parenting rights if they are married to the mother. If unmarried, the father doesn't have any right to the …
/r/MensRights12/11/18 06:19 AM
4

This post is a generalization that doesn't take into account the reality of modern work, and how it has changed over the decades. Ambitious young people rarely seek to follow the exact same path their parents did. There have always been talentless, unambitious people. The change is mostly about where they are distributed. Many sales jobs have had the money squeezed out of them by the power of the internet. People are much more likely to already know what they want, and what it costs. The sales p…
/r/MensRights28/10/18 03:41 PM
5

I had pictures of burns, and bruises on our child. Audio recordings of threats. Witnesses that saw her pounding on my door at 2am. Call logs that showed she called me more than 50 times on a single day. Called the police over a dozen times because she would stalk/harass me. For example she would park her car behind mine to block me in to force me to spend time with her. Show up at my place of work and make a scene etc... The police will show up hours later and say there is nothing they can do (a…
/r/MensRights14/10/18 07:24 AM
7

Women are the only gender that has the right to choose to be primary caregivers. Men only get that option with the mother's permission or via litigation.
/r/MensRights14/10/18 06:54 AM
3

See my first post. When the split is 93-7 it's harder to say that there isn't an obligation. do you think you are entitled to those things? You are starting from an incorrect premise. MRA's aren't advocating an Equal Deaths Act. Or that women be kept out of safer roles. You would understand this if you had actually spent time here, but we both know that's not the case.
/r/MensRights13/10/18 07:26 PM
12

Male disposability combined with greater societal pressure on men to make sacrifices to increase earnings. The 'socialization' argument holds more water when you can point it at men. IMHO even the wage gap is better explained by how we socialize men rather than how we socialize women. Correction: I believe the stats are closer to 93-7 than 95-5. Doesn't change the thrust of the argument.
/r/MensRights13/10/18 04:09 PM
21

on average, make less money is because of personal decisions. But when we talk about things like 95% workplace fatalities are men we miss the fact that they chose a dangerous profession. We could say the same about fathers being underrepresented as child custody holders. Yet these are not equivalent. Dollars earned between men and women is split 56% 44% Workplace fatalities are split 95% 5% Child Custody is split 85% 15% Imprisonment is split 93% 7% Take something like voting. If votes are split…
/r/MensRights13/10/18 08:00 AM
2

Works for me. Good luck with all the maintenance work that is normally done overnight. All those road repairs, overnight deliveries, OTR trucking, etc... I'll be getting a good nights sleep every night.
/r/MensRights02/10/18 01:03 AM
1

propensity towards aggression are socially, and biologically linked to masculinity and testosterone. Following this line of reasoning. What is linked to estrogen? Anything negative or toxic? To what degree should these biological links guide policy and activism? If we are going to argue that policy and activism should be driven by biotruths, why does that only apply when saying men can be toxic? What set of beliefs allows you to believe that men are so aggressive as to be defined separately from…
/r/MensRights26/09/18 05:04 AM
32

Feminism's horrible PR also includes: Fighting against equal parenting rights for decades. (Tender Years, Opposition to Joint Custody) Dubbing the father's rights movement the 'abusers lobby' (Thanks NOW). Defining forced envelopment as not rape (The same feminist who created '1 in 4 women' erased male victims). Erasing male victims of domestic violence (Duluth Model, VAWA). 'Toxic Masculinity' is more of a minor annoyance. A means for feminists to say "men's problems are men's fault". If women …
/r/MensRights26/09/18 04:44 AM
9

It is noble to pursue equality among the sexes. Yet feminism in action, (i.e. policies supported by feminists) has nothing to do with equality. Feminism merely created an oppressor/oppressed narrative between the genders. One that is wholly flawed at explaining the social dynamics between men and women.
/r/MensRights26/09/18 04:26 AM
3

Most custody cases are decided amicably. That fact has no bearing on court bias. You are demanding that I disprove a point that has no relevance. In contested cases, fathers are more likely to be awarded custody, precisely because mothers do not require a court to award them custody except in rare cases where they have previously lost custody and are seeking to regain it.
/r/MensRights15/09/18 05:43 PM
5

Prior to litigation the mother has sole legal and custodial rights, and the father zero. Unless the mother has agreed to give father parental rights/time, he has none. During litigation courts decide 'best interest' based heavily on the current living situation of the child. I.E. who has already been providing childcare, but the mother has total authority over who provides childcare prior to litigation.
/r/MensRights15/09/18 04:40 PM
7

Request By 'request' you mean expensive and time consuming litigation. They request it a lot less Do mothers have to litigate to gain custody? To gain visitation? Nope. Imagine a scenario where women by default couldn't vote, but could vote with their husbands permission, or if they went to court and spent months and thousands of dollars convincing a judge that voting was in the best interests of the country. Would you say "well only 5% of women even go to trial and demand their rights, so they …
/r/MensRights15/09/18 03:58 PM
7

Until the statistics tell us that more than 4 percent of divorced fathers are seeking custody through the Family Court system, there are few men who have such experience and proof of a true “gender bias.” This article presumes that because few fathers go to trial, that bias cannot be the primary factor. Which demonstrates a total ignorance of litigation in general. Most cases of all types settle. Very few of any kind go to trial. Parties settle because of the projected outcome of trial, and the …
/r/MensRights15/09/18 03:48 PM
4

Much better article on this subject in the national post by Barbara Kay. Little Sophia and Serena Campione did not have to die. They were allowed to die because of a belief system that denies the truth of human nature. Both men and women are capable of aggression. https://nationalpost.com/opinion/barbara-kay-when-a-mother-is-on-trial-the-father-is-the-accused
/r/MensRights04/09/18 11:56 PM
2

What's the gender split on the people who catch murderers? What is the gender split on the people who will keep murderers in jail? What is the gender split on the people who protect our nation from the violence of war? I can certainly acknowledge that the majority of violent criminals are men, but why does the gender accounting stop there? Why don't we go through every accomplishment that men have made to make the world a better place? All the male inventors, businessmen, statesmen, that created…
/r/MensRights25/08/18 04:53 AM
3

It's all just rationalization. They get to act however they want and claim it's for a good reason by inventing justifications. Logical consistency or moral integrity isn't the goal. Applying statistical 'truths' to people based on gender is precisely what feminists would normally argue against. For example, could you imagine a company offering male only management retreats, and justifying it under the pretext of "only a handful of execs are women". In that instance Feminists wouldn't care what t…
/r/MensRights15/08/18 09:27 PM
2

Worry more about custody than child support. As an unmarried father you will have zero rights and sole custody is basically impossible. The critical thing will be making a parenting plan jointly with the mother. Which can simply be a written schedule of who handles what and the associated expectations.
/r/MensRights15/08/18 05:30 AM
17

It is true that when I had a female stalker/abuser she was not as physically capable. If you put us in a boxing ring, I'm certain that I would easily prevail. The problem IRL is that if she hits me nothing happens. If I defend myself, even slightly, I'm going to prison and she gains more control over me. Which is her goal. My goal was for her to leave me alone. Which is difficult to do when I can't get a restraining order, and police don't take her assaults seriously.
/r/MensRights31/07/18 07:02 PM
6

Menslib is the feminist approved version of the MRM. Menslib is where you can speak about men's problems so long as you start from feminist first principles. A place where men are free to hate the patriarchy in the precise manner and degree that feminists allow. It's useful as a barometer for seeing just how bad things would be without an actual MRM.
/r/MensRights30/07/18 11:41 PM
1

I wouldn't push the 'bio-truth' aspect of gender roles. That strikes me as more of a traditionalist view. Specially when justifying gender roles today, rather than historically. You're conflating how gender roles arrived historically, with MRA's position gender roles today. From a historical standpoint, I'd say that gender roles arrived as a consequence of optimizing societies via division of labor. With a little bit of tournament species style sexual dimorphism mixed in. There certainly were cu…
/r/MensRights19/07/18 01:03 AM
1

Set that anger aside and replace it with the following. Perspective. Acknowledge that the universe is fundamentally unfair, and that on balance we are all fortunate. Being born in the modern era is an incalculable inheritance. Acceptance. Regardless of how much I advocate, or what changes I see in my lifetime, it will never undo what happened to me. The best I can hope for is that it happens to fewer people in the future.
/r/MensRights04/07/18 12:37 AM
3

SSS is a federal registration program for young men. If we go to war, and need conscripts, then they will start sending out notices. There were a few attempts to enact a draft when manpower was short during the peak of the wars in Iraq/Afghanistan. Imagine going about your daily life, and then you get a letter in the mail that says Show up at the following military base in two weeks or you are going to prison And into the military machine you go. No idea where you are going, or what your role wi…
/r/MensRights03/07/18 03:02 PM
14

Exactly. It's like the questions never end until they find a way to make it 'your fault'. How could you let her hit you? Well if I stop her, it becomes a fight and I go to jail. Granting her yet more power and control over me. Why didn't you just leave? I did. The very first time she hit me. But I want to see me kid, so I have to maintain contact, and she regularly used that to get close to me. Why didn't you fight for custody? I did. For years. Judges care a lot less than you think about this s…
/r/MensRights28/06/18 02:28 AM
2

Alimony made sense when one spouse was making all the decisions about employment, education and the division of labor. Now there is no limitation on the freedom of either spouse (rightfully so). A wife doesn't need the husband's permission to work, and the husband has no means of compelling her to work if she chooses not to. Yet the social and legal obligation remains to provide for the non-earning spouse. Thankfully most states are reducing the scope of alimony, and lifetime alimony is becoming…
/r/MensRights23/06/18 06:12 PM
5

Father's rights is one of the most clear cut and longest running issues for the MRM. It's also an area where great strides have been made in the last few years. https://nationalparentsorganization.org/
/r/MensRights22/06/18 11:19 PM
2

Welcome aboard. My advice is to take it slow on 'going public' with MRM topics. As a feminist you were able to be fairly open about your views, but as an MRA you will not find the public sphere as welcoming. One of the primary problems in Feminism today is the misogyny shortage. Feminism wants to measure every statistical difference between genders and file it under the misogyny label. Yet there just aren't that many people walking around who want to create or enforce these gender differences. T…
/r/MensRights18/06/18 06:09 PM
43

The only thing missing is a discussion about the flawed ideas and rationalization that binds the various groups of feminists together. I would argue that there are very few T1 feminists. I've met a few who act like they are T1, but are actually T3. Most don't need much convincing to follow the policy recommendations of a T2. Pretty much any rationalization or flawed stat will be enough of a pretext. Try to discuss something like parenting equality, and feminists will come out of the woodwork tal…
/r/MensRights12/06/18 05:25 PM
1

I could not care less about who is in a video game. Make a WW1 game with big red leading a charge up vimy ridge. I don't care.
/r/MensRights08/06/18 10:37 PM
3

Return of the Kings is full of assholes, and they do call themselves MRAs. But they don't. Like they explicitly say they aren't MRAs, we already went through this with the supposed Mad Max "MRA boycott".
/r/MensRights07/06/18 07:32 AM
6

"I support more resources for male DV victims, but I believe feminism is working to solve that because I've never heard of Erin Pizzey, Duluth Model, VAWA etc..." "I support parenting equality. Mothers being seen as primary caregiver is totes patriarchy anyway, so feminism is on it. What is Tender Years Doctrine? NOW opposes shared parenting? Feminists have pressured governors into vetoing equal parenting laws? No, that's impossible because it conflicts with my idealistic view of feminism. You M…
/r/MensRights07/06/18 06:44 AM
3

Not that much of a difference between men and women. The Y axis is narrowed to magnify the perceived difference. Plot it at 0-100% and the difference between men and women would show up as minuscule. Following the chart there have been several instances where the gap between men and women was of a similar ratio. There have also been several years where the percentages basically converge. Many other comments are mentioning the influence of OLD (Online Dating), but I wouldn't expect OLD to increas…
/r/MensRights04/06/18 02:09 PM
5

I don't understand. What are you trying to do? If she's not sending clothes, who cares? Just have separate clothes that you keep at your house. That's not something you want to waste your time fighting over. Regarding child support. Usually medical costs are separate from child support. Your divorce decree should have something that covers who pays what for unreimbursed medical costs. Some parents split it 50/50, and others split it according to income similar to child support. Also check your s…
/r/MensRights31/05/18 07:26 PM
2

We can discuss what rights men lack, but this is totally wrong. Forcing someone to have an abortion against their will is monstrous. Tricking someone into taking something is evil. Lets not taint the discussion around men's rights by associating this act with anything that is even remotely understandable, or "prompted".
/r/MensRights22/05/18 12:01 AM
1

So it's Law and Order: SVU turned up two more notches then. If feminists want revenge porn, so be it. The correct response to a show you don't like is: don't watch it.
/r/MensRights18/05/18 03:18 AM
17

Except that only 10% of men have the cupcake with all the fancy toppings, and they worked to make their own cakes. Eschewing family, friends, and social standing while working 80hr weeks for years to bake that cake. Feminists complain that their cake isn't as nice without even a passing thought about the 90% of guys who are eating biscuits.
/r/MensRights17/05/18 05:11 AM
14

To hide this fact. Feminists will divide along gender lines. Comparing all women and all men. Thereby averaging the high rate of moms with the almost nonexistent rate of father's partner (girlfriend/step mom). Also combining the abuse rates of fathers with mother's partner (boyfriend/step fathers). These rates are incorrectly used when defending current DV policies and child custody presumptions. Where it should be comparing household situations not genders. Mother (higher rate) + mother's partn…
/r/MensRights17/05/18 12:04 AM
3

The article is rife with obvious errors: It compares the combined survey data of rape and sexual assault with only the conviction rate of rape rather than the combined rate. Through the entire article it jumps around between sexual assault and rape. It regularly cites the total # of victims (men and women) while drawing conclusions only about female victims. It assumes a 1:1 ratio between victim and perpetrator. Which I find extremely unlikely. There is no comparison to the prosecution rate of o…
/r/MensRights11/05/18 06:51 PM
8

Exactly. People's vision of a custody battle is some wise judge carefully mulling over the details of tense testimony and evidence presented over multiple days. In reality a custody battle is a bored judge giving each side 15mins to speak while he reads the news. Then sending them off to costly mediators, arbitrators, parenting classes etc... Until the father runs out of money and agrees to whatever he can get.
/r/MensRights03/05/18 04:07 PM
9

They deny the one the father filed, and grant the one the mother filed.
/r/MensRights03/05/18 04:02 PM
6

Exactly, I'm a republican because I believe in the abolition of slavery.
/r/MensRights28/04/18 03:25 PM
1

Christians believe in the ten commandments. Therefore if you aren't a Christian you must be a liar/thief/murderer etc...
/r/MensRights26/04/18 12:24 AM
12

There is no one that MRA's want 'no-platformed'. Militant rad-fems are the best MRA recruiters out there. I would personally hand Bindle a megaphone.
/r/MensRights24/04/18 04:00 PM
3

It's a means of diluting/deflecting guilt by pluralizing it. Why acknowledge your own failings and try to correct them? Instead you could simply say that the failings are societies fault and only by spreading your ideology can you 'correct' society.
/r/MensRights23/04/18 08:25 PM
26

Obvious troll
/r/MensRights18/04/18 05:02 AM
7

Similar to your situation, and flip the genders. As a father I had everything figured out. Well paying career (with flexibility and benefits), support network of friends and family, significant savings, good credit rating, not even a parking ticket on my record. Preparing to buy a house. She had been committed to a mental hospital more than once, only rarely was on medication, unemployed, rarely lived in any one place more than six months. Won't let me see my kid, tries to claim that I'm not the…
/r/MensRights17/04/18 01:33 AM
4

Please use NP links.
/r/MensRights05/04/18 05:49 PM
14

The big problem for feminism is there there aren't enough misogynists. How can you get people to listen to you unless there is an actual enemy? The threat of the 'patriarchy' with it's misogynists and sexism everywhere hiding just beneath the surface doesn't work without an ample supply of misogynists. Political feminism loses influence if equality is achieved. This is why you see feminism turning into a supremacist movement. It's easier to find 'misogynists' if your demands and policies regular…
/r/MensRights05/04/18 02:56 PM
8

What's she gonna do? Stand in the doorway to prevent you from leaving. Stand behind your car to prevent you from backing out of the driveway. Take/hide your keys/wallet so you cant drive and can't pay for transportation. Smash your phone so you can't call anyone. Threaten to damage/destroy things that are important to you. Run after you screaming so that bystanders step in on her behalf. Make it so you never see your children again. She can't beat me She can/will absolutely hit you, usually as a…
/r/MensRights05/04/18 12:35 AM
3

Is a statistical approach based on gender warranted? Are there any areas where women should be excluded due to statistics? Shall we exclude women from homeless shelter programs because so few are homeless? Or exclude women from workers comp because so few are injured while working?
/r/MensRights05/04/18 12:21 AM
1

At best you can get acknowledged as a rare-exception. "Women have to deal with this all the time, and men only rarely, and only because patriarchy, toxic masculinity etc.. etc.."
/r/MensRights19/03/18 09:29 PM
10

This is fake right?
/r/MensRights19/03/18 09:25 PM
1

MRA is an umbrella term. Almost no one goes in for activism with the label 'MRA' precisely because feminists will shut you down quick. You'll end up being harassed out of whatever venue you've booked. Even in the best case you'll get tied down defending yourself from random nitwits like Cathy Newman style "so what your saying is... strawman argument " Protests only work when your cause garners sympathy. Kids, women, poor people protesting garners sympathy. Men protesting tends to be seen in a mo…
/r/MensRights19/03/18 09:19 PM
5

/r/mrref has the stats you are looking for http://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-statistics-at-a-glance/ That said, I've never seen anyone change their minds when presented countervailing statistics. A more effective counterargument would be to ask them what percentage of men are victims that they would believe. Do any exist? Even if men are only 5% of the victims, does the mean they should have nothing? For men to be explicitly excluded by policy? If women are 5% o…
/r/MensRights19/03/18 08:31 PM
2

People who own parachutes are more likely to die from falling out of a plane than people who don't own a parachute. Therefore parachutes don't help during a plane crash.
/r/MensRights18/03/18 07:01 AM
2

Even if the company was female-led. So what? It's not like we've never had a bridge fall down that was built by men.
/r/MensRights18/03/18 06:48 AM
1

There are more than two parties. Vote for the individual candidate.
/r/MensRights12/03/18 04:37 AM
1

Men are bad, misogynist, entitled ergo they can't get laid. Men are bad, misogynist, entitled ergo they are womanizers and sleep around. Men are bad, misogynist, entitled ergo they will not grow up and be 'marriage material'. Men are bad, misogynist, entitled ergo marriage is slavery/oppression for women. There might be a pattern here.
/r/MensRights02/03/18 03:27 PM
4

It is the same tired old false dichotomy. We believe in 'justice and equality' therefore if you dont agree with our views/policies/aims then you must be against 'justice and equality' and ergo you are a devil/nazi/Hitler etc... It's like arguing with a religious fundamentalist. 'Since you don't believe in Christianity you must think it is ok to steal and kill because you don't believe in the ten commandments.' 'Since you aren't a feminist you must hate women.' It is a dark irony in sjws believin…
/r/MensRights01/03/18 03:10 PM
32

Imagine if she had accused a specific person by name, rather than three anonymous/made-up people. SJWs, if you believe diminishing due process will only hurt that rich white guy you're aiming at, you've not studied much history.
/r/MensRights28/02/18 04:32 PM
5

I despise the term toxic masculinity. I'm not going to debate the term while drawing within the lines of a 'just so' depiction that tries to neatly rationalize it. 'Toxic masculinity' is the term that feminists use when bad things happen to men. It pre-supposes that masculinity is 'in charge' therefore the harm that comes to men is at least to a certain degree self inflicted. See also: 'patriarchy hurts men too'. Conversely when bad things happen to women it's viewed misogyny. Note that a misogy…
/r/MensRights28/02/18 04:41 AM
4

The fundamental problem I have with Feminism is this motte and bailey type position. "Feminism just means equality" somehow gradually becomes: "men are living life on easy mode" and then: "patriarchy/toxic masculinity etc..." finally: "sexism is impossible against men because they don't count because they have power" Criticism of any part of feminist activity, or anything less than full throated support, is reduced to the counter argument that 'you must not like equality'. This pre-supposition t…
/r/MensRights27/02/18 10:49 PM
1

No, if anything it should be the converse. The MRM should push forward groups that are even more narrowly focused, to the point of being single issue. Narrowly focused groups tend to be more effective at policy change than broadly focused groups. It's easier to get mainstream support for narrowly focused groups. The MRM, should merely be an umbrella term for even narrower groups that are actively pursuing singular policy changes. It's easier to argue against "men's rights" than it is to argue ag…
/r/MensRights27/02/18 09:57 PM
5

My advice as a non-lawyer. Stop, accept the loss and move on with your life. You are lucky you weren't charged criminally. Usually any sort of physical contact between man and woman ends with man going to jail. There are guys on here all the time talking about being arrested by the police they called to deal with an out of control spouse/girlfriend. Law enforcement doing nothing is probably better for you. If you are here regularly you should know this. 50k is entirely too much money to spend pu…
/r/MensRights27/02/18 06:17 AM
29

The point about interruptions. I wonder if they controlled for "consecutive number of minutes talking without pause". It is difficult to interrupt someone who is responding in short sentences, and it is difficult to avoid interrupting someone who will continue talking unless there is an interruption. I've worked with a number of people (both male and female) who will literally go on for 20-30minutes without a pause, making assumptions, drawing conclusions, formulating action plans, assigning tas…
/r/MensRights25/02/18 11:08 PM
2

You're mistaken it's a nursing room, not a childcare room. Perhaps they could name it more clearly, but that's what they are for.
/r/MensRights20/02/18 03:00 PM
2

Dude it's a nursing room. Many women prefer privacy when nursing. Nothing wrong here.
/r/MensRights20/02/18 02:56 PM
0

This has nothing to do with men's rights.
/r/MensRights12/02/18 06:44 PM
11

It is heartless to demand toys back from a child. Regardless of what mom did or lied about, the kid is innocent. I would feel extremely sorry for that child and their future. Certainly the man carries no ongoing obligation, but let's not rip the teddy bear out of the kid's hands.
/r/MensRights09/02/18 10:59 PM
4

I'm reminded of the fact that Roe v. Wade happened around the same time as the Vietnam war and the associated conscription. "You can't tell a woman what to do with her body!" Meanwhile at draft boards nationwide. "We need more bodies to absorb bullets fighting in a war they had no decision in. Round up 10k more young men."
/r/MensRights07/02/18 12:13 AM
2

Women are not the problem. The problem is the gender bias built into policies and practices. There are certainly people who show up here who are angry at women, or contain bitterness over a woman harming them, but that rarely motivates long term participation in the MRM. You have to take a longer view, and realize the problem isn't 'women' but how the society views men. If fathers don't have equal parenting rights, it's not women's fault. It's not even that one women's fault for taking advantage…
/r/MensRights02/02/18 01:56 PM
3

Yes. There are several challenges that are unique to men as a group. Equal parenting rights, protection from DV, homelessness, incarceration, and other areas that still need to be examined. "don't men have enough power already? They are CEO's, Judges, Politicians, etc..." It is fair to examine those parts of society where men 'win', but we might find part of the answer when we also look at the consequences of what happens when men 'lose'. You'll find that the stakes are much higher for men. Men …
/r/MensRights29/01/18 10:49 PM
11

They demand 'equality' with anyone who has something they want.
/r/MensRights27/01/18 09:20 PM
4

Expect the criteria to change. E.G. It will morph into a complaint about how women hold most student loan debt. Or they will start talking about how women earn less with their degrees on average. With creative interpretations you can continue to make claims of oppression. Specially when you can treat any critics like they want to take away women's right to vote.
/r/MensRights27/01/18 06:51 PM
1

No one grabbed anything of mine.
/r/MensRights22/01/18 10:21 PM
7

The issues surrounding shared parenting can also be fixed with feminism in mind. There have been dozens of states where shared parenting has been proposed. The largest opposition is from organized feminist groups such as NOW. You do commonly see feminists talking about equal parental responsibility but there is strident opposition to equal parental rights. Even the tender years doctrine was put in place by feminists and defended by feminists until states started seeing it as a violation of the e…
/r/MensRights17/01/18 07:34 PM
15

Certainly most women do not hate men. Neither do most men hate women. Not sure what point you are trying to make here. The primary issue would be child custody and parenting rights. Maternity leave is a minor issue. Who buys the drinks is a non-issue. We can agree that just because one thing is more bad, doesn't invalidate everything that is less bad. Yet somehow this rule never seems to apply to male DV victims. &5 To you feminism just means equality. So you see anyone who is anti-feminist as a…
/r/MensRights17/01/18 05:23 AM
6

after before paying off their student loans FTFY
/r/MensRights15/01/18 10:49 PM
15

That restraining order game sounds familiar. She called me 50 times in an hour because I wouldn't agree to come see her. Leaving piles of directly threatening voicemail. Despite agreeing to several meetings in good faith attempts to work things out => Judge: "What the mother of your child can't call you? Maybe you should have answered." Pounding on my door screaming at 2am and refusing to leave during my parenting time. => Judge: "You both need to learn to work things out" Threatening emails det…
/r/MensRights15/01/18 03:57 AM
6

It cracks me up how they can dig up anyone and he's an MRA. They can say "I'm not an mra, because I think X" and he will still be an MRA just by the nature of being a man. It would be like us claiming that Phyllis Schlafly was a feminist. Conversely, a gender studies professor who is on the board of NOW, who has authored widely read books and studies all under the heading of feminism = not feminism. Crowds of people can chant feminist slogans at a feminist rally to shut down a men's rights talk …
/r/MensRights14/01/18 07:57 PM
20

Exactly. There will never be a decision that says women(yes) men(no). Likely the ruling will carry some ambiguity which allows it to be applied in an entirely one sided manner. Similar to the whole "child's best interest" in family courts.
/r/MensRights14/01/18 07:45 PM
2

"Shutting down hostile discussion" I'm not onboard with shutting down discussion, 'hostile' or otherwise. Both from an ethical and practical standpoint. Regarding strategy, I believe the best way forward is to go narrow. Fighting for the whole list of mens issues simultaneously means we get nothing and allows us to be defeated in detail. IMHO, we would be better off zeroing in on the strongest points we have and leveraging that into some momentum for other wins. The challenge isn't winning every…
/r/MensRights14/01/18 05:27 PM
5

And this sub needs feminism because men’s rights, such as child custody and alimony, stem from societal expectations about gender roles. You might want to verify that view. Child custody rules that favor mothers were put in place by feminists (Tender Years Doctrine). I welcome you to disagree with those feminists, and/or say they don't represent your version of feminism, but please don't claim that it's just patriarchy in disguise. That's simply inaccurate. Tbf, it's mildly annoying how Feminist…
/r/MensRights06/01/18 08:24 AM
1

Hi, I arrived late to this discussion but would like to clarify. Fatherhood alone confers no legal parenting rights. Motherhood does. The only way for a father to gain parental rights is via the mother's agreement or petitioning the courts. The mother does not require the father's agreement or a court order to gain legal parenting rights. In practice this means that court orders for fathers are mainly defensive. Because the default is mother 100% and father 0%, any deviation from that has to be …
/r/MensRights06/01/18 02:38 AM
2

Whoosh The subreddit menkampf takes things that SJWs say about men, and replaces the words with other groups to illustrate how hateful people are towards men.
/r/MensRights02/01/18 11:06 PM
17

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey Pizzey has been the subject of death threats and boycotts because of her research into the claim that most domestic violence is reciprocal, and that women are equally capable of violence as men. Pizzey has said that the threats were from militant feminists. She has also said that she is banned from the refuge she started.
/r/MensRights02/01/18 02:52 AM
7

mainstream feminist views Most people do not identify as feminists (only 18%). Yet 82% believe in gender equality. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/column-why-millennial-women-dont-want-to-call-themselves-feminists Most people do not consider feminism and gender equality to be synonymous. The 'mainstream' is ready for a discussion around gender equality that isn't constrained by feminism.
/r/MensRights28/12/17 05:42 AM
6

Accurate would mean not shying away from the last 30 years of feminist political activism merely because they hide under a label that used to mean something more. People need to know that political feminism is much more than the historical dictionary definition. Imagine if a Republican answered every argument against their tax plan with: "We are the party that ended slavery, if you aren't a republican, that means you're in favor of slavery." As for persuasive. Following the tone police is a jour…
/r/MensRights28/12/17 05:32 AM
22

We will earn the label anti-feminist anyway. Warren Farrell was on the board of NOW, and is the most soft spoken person who still considers himself a feminist. Yet his talks are picketed, heckled, blocked just as hard as anyone else. For a long time I wondered if it would be better to try and drive a wedge between the various feminist groups. Separate the more mainstream coffee shop types from the radicals. Move more into the C.H. Sommers, Erin Pizzey, Warren Farrell camp, but tbf I don't see it…
/r/MensRights27/12/17 09:21 PM
2

Good thing you showed up then.
/r/MensRights27/12/17 08:58 PM
5

Is that really what you're highlighting? Yes. Gender bias in child custody and abuse are two of our primary areas. Are you supporting any legislature for fairness in sentencing? Yes, but not broadly as you're describing. You'll find that MR only favors legislative changes when there is a clear bias written in law or public policy. Is anyone in here a DA or a public defender? Not that I'm aware of. What are their thoughts on the matter? You'd have to ask them. Has anyone sought the judge's reason…
/r/MensRights27/12/17 08:35 PM
4

It's highlights how differently men and women are treated when it comes to child abuse and domestic violence. Beyond the narrow feminist definitions of 'patriarchal' violence.
/r/MensRights27/12/17 08:13 PM
8

MR isn't here to hate on individual women who behave badly. It's here to expand the discussion surrounding gender equality. Articles like this one highlight how we can't assume that only men are abusive/controlling. We aren't here to solve the problem of "this woman is bad", we are here to say that good or bad isn't determined via gender. Specifically when it comes to domestic violence and child custody.
/r/MensRights27/12/17 08:08 PM
6

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2144002 Women are less likely to be charged when they are arrested When convicted they are twice as likely to avoid a prison sentence (for the same crime) When sentenced to prison they receive 60% less prison time (for the same crime)
/r/MensRights27/12/17 08:03 PM
7

Feminists often support gendered treatment/enforcement of domestic violence. Where men/fathers are seen as perpetrators, and female violence is seen as defensive. The Duluth model is quite clear on this. I know several feminists and speak with them about these topics, they reliably fall into two groups. Coffee shop feminists, who repeat some rationalization they heard about how it's actually patriarchy keeping children with abusive women. Politically active feminists, who believe that gendered D…
/r/MensRights27/12/17 07:47 PM
4

Christianity just means you believe in the ten commandments. If you aren't christian you must like murdering people, and stealing things.
/r/MensRights27/12/17 07:39 PM
63

Maternal preference in child custody was put in place by feminists. The Duluth model of domestic violence was put in place by feminists. It doesn't matter what you think feminism is, it matters what politically active feminists do. I'll believe feminism is about equality when the get on the right side of equal parenting rights for fathers, and equal protections for men in abusive relationships. In the 1970s in the US, my mother couldn't open a bank account or take a line of credit without her fa…
/r/MensRights27/12/17 07:34 PM
2

Sounds really similar to what happened to me. I was basically a single parent who also had to pay child support, and deal with someone who could randomly show up and take my kid away if I didn't do what she wanted. File with the court with evidence that I'm the primary parent. Ask that the court merely recognize that I already am the primary caregiver. Mother shows up at my door with police the second she is served with court paperwork. Demands that I had over our son. Delays with mediation as l…
/r/MensRights16/12/17 12:38 AM
2

This is surreal. SJWs bullying/pressuring a woman for who she refuses to sleep with.
/r/MensRights07/12/17 02:00 PM
3

The whole story sounds made up to me. There are too many details that are 'just so'.
/r/MensRights06/12/17 06:35 PM
11

And if they bound your feet? Cut off the tip of your finger? If you were a girl, would FGM have been ok? Any other forms of cosmetic surgery is ok so long as your parents make the call? There are states now that outlaw declawing your cat, but MGM is still fine.
/r/MensRights05/12/17 01:36 AM
10

How old is he? Keep in mind that we are shaped much more by our early experiences in life. He may have grown up in a very different environment than many of us here. Try not to let it poison the relationship.
/r/MensRights05/12/17 01:31 AM
3

Gender politics are often driven by perceptions regardless of a basis in fact. Policies that are biased against men are often 'justified' in this manner. Feminists will play up the threat of men for their own ends. This is criticism of that dynamic. There is no claim on a "right to not be demonized".
/r/MensRights04/12/17 04:48 AM
3

"feminism just means equality" - if that were true we would all be feminists.
/r/MensRights04/12/17 12:43 AM
4

Men's rights issues don't exist in a vacuum. Many men's rights issues are caused by the demonisation of men. Much of this comes from feminists consistently overstating the 'violent oppression' that women face.
/r/MensRights04/12/17 12:35 AM
12

Spend any time looking into feminism critically, and you'll see rather large overstatements of the risks to women. To both men's and women's detriment.
/r/MensRights04/12/17 12:30 AM
2

Not blocking. Discouraging by inflating the risks to women. While also demonizing men & primarily male institutions.
/r/MensRights04/12/17 12:23 AM
3

Panel #1 is a succinct way of showing how feminists demonize men even to point where it becomes a detriment to women.
/r/MensRights04/12/17 12:19 AM
9

Strange woman you don't know grabs your toddler from the park and starts running towards a windowless cargo van with a man waiting in the driver's seat. "Sorry hon, can't touch a woman" Crazy stalker woman won't take no for an answer and starts threatening your wife/gf with a knife out of jealously. "Sorry babe, wouldn't want to be abusive you'll have to handle this one"
/r/MensRights02/12/17 04:54 PM
4

People will call us anything/everything. We should continue to grow an immunity to the name calling. Often this sort of thing is about shaming men back into being tools for parties to use. Lefties: "Mannn... you guys would be cool if it weren't for all those trump supporters in your midst. You need to excise them or you can't hang with all us feminists that actually support equality. Great... Thanks... Now get rid of all the anti-feminists... ok now we are going to need ya'll to support the dulu…
/r/MensRights02/12/17 01:15 AM
10

Most MRAs can acknowledge that there was a time when women had unequal rights, but what is missing from that discussion is the unequal responsibilities placed on men. Also the gap in rights between men and women isn't as critically examined as it should be. If you look at the past, you'll certainly see men overrepresented in positions of power, but you will also see men overrepresented at the bottom rungs of society as well as any areas that involve risk. Then you notice that there are significa…
/r/MensRights29/11/17 05:07 PM
3

The problem is that patriarchy is nebulously defined and basically means "everything bad". It's like a conspiracy theory. It's believers find it true by default unless disproved. Yet when disproved it merely moves to just outside the area of proof. They feel no motivation to prove that patriarchy exists, or even narrowly define what it means. It is their method to push any area of ambiguity into their favor. The wage gap discussion shows you this in action. No matter how many times/ways it's dis…
/r/MensRights28/11/17 05:46 PM
3

How to guarantee that the next generation of boys grows up resentful.
/r/MensRights27/11/17 08:39 PM
2

Anyone who would kill their kids shouldn't have custody. Sounds like the courts made the right call. I only wish it had happened in time to save the kids.
/r/MensRights27/11/17 08:33 PM
2

Who does she think are the targets of false sex assault accusations? Who gets hit the hardest by a lack of due process? She thinks she's taking aim at Kenneth W. McRich, rather than someone like Brian Banks. The Duke Lacrosse team lost their 'jobs' and spent some time in court. Minority men go to prison.
/r/MensRights22/11/17 08:54 PM
1

Almost no one starts out as anti-feminist. It's more of a label that is thrust upon you. As an MRA you'll be told your anti-feminist so many times eventually you just say "ok sure".
/r/MensRights16/11/17 09:36 PM
1

The business owner had rose colored glasses for women and not men. Now she is blaming women for her own filtering problem. Her stated aim was to make her work a celebration of working women. Specifically to foster women's careers. Her ability to hire effective women was compromised by an inability to see flaws in female applicants. Conversely, what sort of standard was used for evaluating male applicants? I would bet she would have no problem identifying the shortcomings in a potential male hire…
/r/MensRights16/11/17 12:17 AM
12

Wow, there is some creative ignorance going on with the Duluth model in that thread. People are working hard trying to defend it.
/r/MensRights15/11/17 05:17 AM
5

Self justifying social advocacy. Push gendered programs similar to the duluth model. Where men are primary aggressors by default. Expand the scope of DV to the point that they will be certain create some sort of violation. Treat any women aggressors as "misidentifications" because clearly any women caught in this system were probably trying to defend themselves. Push for diversion programs that keep them from being prosecuted. When challenged, point to how the statistics show how much more often…
/r/MensRights14/11/17 02:40 AM
2

It is statistically accurate that men do commit a majority of violent acts. Certainly not all. To believe that were the case, you'd have to judge women as incapable of being violent/aggressive. Which would have strong implications for women's involvement in any role where that is required. Such as military, law enforcement, corrections etc... Certainly you don't think women are less capable than men?
/r/MensRights12/11/17 07:20 PM
3

Prior to your catharsis, had you encountered anyone who was already skeptical of Feminism? I've noticed that almost none of the people who've adjusted their views on feminism were "argued into" it. For male feminists it's usually a divorce or custody battle, either one involving them or someone close. Or in some cases a false accusation, or abusive partner. For female feminists it's often something that happens to their son/brother/father. It's almost never "I read a well written article." Or "I…
/r/MensRights12/11/17 07:23 AM
7

Feminism is not new in this regard. History is rife with similar methods and movements. The themes are very familiar: Nebulous external enemy to blame for all ills. Confirmation bias causing hearsay repeated often and loud enough to become fact. Any contrarian evidence is dismissed under a cacophony of rumors. Group polarization causing the people with the most extreme views to rise to the top. Cognitive dissonance when encountering any harmful outcomes of the movement. "If the result was bad, i…
/r/MensRights12/11/17 07:16 AM
13

The "coffee shop feminist" is caused intentionally by the bait and switch arguments that feminists use. Where there is no consistent criteria, or standards. The only consistent method is; if something bad is happening rationalize about how it's actually patriarchy and feminists will fix it if only they had more power.
/r/MensRights11/11/17 06:48 AM
2

We as a society take certain accusations very seriously. This is obvious if you do a small thought experiment. Would you rather be falsely accused of stealing, or sexual harassment? You know that in one of those you'll actually get a chance at defending yourself. In the other, you are permanently screwed from the beginning. Make enough men "afraid again" and you'll lose that privilege. Congrats Valenti, you're actively working to set back women's protections against harassment.
/r/MensRights09/11/17 06:23 AM
2

It is more complex than "a bad woman was the contributing factor". It's more along the lines of society expecting men to be a certain way. If a man has been taught all his life that only deadbeats leave their kids, and real dads do x and y. What happens when his kids are taken from him in family court? When people judge him as deficient while he is doing everything he can. Everything he has been told is the right thing to do. When people look at him suspiciously after a spurious DV allegation or…
/r/MensRights08/11/17 11:11 PM
1

It's a plausible number. 3/day would mean ~1000/year. IIRC the last time I looked up DV stats it was somewhere around 1300 total for the year with 300 being men. So you could say 3 women and 1 man die every day from DV. The problem is that # per day over 400 million people is always going to sound scary. Also, 10 men and 1 woman die every day from workplace injuries. Also, 94 men and 27 women die every day from suicide. Men are vastly more of a risk to themselves, than they are to their partners…
/r/MensRights08/11/17 10:16 PM
1

Thank you, I can acknowledge that men commit most violent crime. Specifically against strangers. The data on this is clear. The only question is what sort of conclusions we draw and what sort of policy decisions are ethical. To paraphrase your view: If men had a curfew, statistically you would feel safer, because the people whom commit violent assaults are male. It doesn't inform your opinion of a given individual man, but merely statistically lowers the basal level of danger you would experienc…
/r/MensRights20/10/17 09:56 PM
1

Hey I'm going to ask a few questions, because I'm trying to understand your view, and what exactly you are trying to claim. You've added a few comments regarding your experience, and the experience of other victims, but I'm having trouble connecting that to a specific conclusion. It is not meant to diminish what happened to you. Is it your opinion that women are more often the victims of violent crime than men? Is it your opinion that the gender of your attacker justifies your fear of other memb…
/r/MensRights20/10/17 08:34 PM
2

I've always wondered if the feminist mind-set is self reinforcing. They have been programmed to surround themselves with men whom flagellate themselves for being men. Or at the very least are willing to trash all 'other' men in exchange for social standing among women. What would the average moral character of such men be? I'm certainly not saying that male feminists are inherently bad people, but that the ideology would attract certain "wolf in sheep's clothing" types. On the flip side, feminis…
/r/MensRights20/10/17 02:19 AM
23

Feminist responses to men's issues Co-opt: It's really just a form of misogyny and feminism is working on it.... any day now..... Dismissal: It's pointless to talk about <issue> when women suffer so much more. Even if there are fewer women affected, they suffer more because <rationalization>. Responsibility: Well men run the world, so they are just causing all these problems for themselves.
/r/MensRights19/10/17 11:09 PM
1

Looks pretty fake. Also probably satire.
/r/MensRights19/10/17 10:51 PM
4

The women who ridiculed you have no relation to the women who are working in STEM. Even if somehow it was the same group of women, there is no reason to hold a grudge like that. The problems surrounding gender in tech are more nuanced than "girls used to call us nerds, and now they want in."
/r/MensRights19/10/17 10:50 PM
23

If it's misogyny then why have feminists been supporting it? The Duluth model trivializes female violence. Are feminists misogynists?
/r/MensRights15/10/17 12:15 AM
1

Getting pregnant doesn't make you a mother. Collecting child support doesn't make you a mother. Just because you can legally keep me away from my kid, doesn't make me less of a father. Just because the police won't arrest you doesn't mean you aren't an abuser. No matter how much you complain about "doing it all on your own" It does't change that I have been here since day one fighting to be part of my kids life, while you kept me away simply because you wanted another $400/month to spend. I am a…
/r/MensRights30/09/17 02:23 AM
6

Feminists tend to lie about conclusions not statistics. They do this so they can always retreat to the "look it up it's a true stat" even if it has nothing to do with what they claim it means.
/r/MensRights23/09/17 02:37 PM
2

It's not a fair comparison. How many cars can be managed per lot attendant? Because I doubt Jane Q. Childcare could watch 500 kids.
/r/MensRights23/09/17 02:25 PM
2

Remain calm. Don't give them anything that would allow them to paint you as aggressive or evasive. Don't ever make another phone call regarding this issue. All correspondence should be written. You don't want to open up the possibility for someone to put words in your mouth. Try to gather as much information as you can. Take notes if someone talks to you. Review your schools student handbook and/or student policies. Often there are protections for students, but you have to ask for them.
/r/MensRights22/09/17 10:00 PM
8

This is how feminists make every issue about women. Ignore all the areas where women are advantaged and zero in on any instance, however small, of something where women can be portrayed as the victims. Then try to make that one small issue noisy enough to drown out the entire discussion.
/r/MensRights20/09/17 03:46 PM
7

I find it hilarious that anyone thinks that schools are run by the patriarchy.
/r/MensRights19/09/17 12:59 PM
2

Rights and responsibility should go hand in hand. At the moment they do not. Mothers have all the rights, but the responsibility is split. Equal parenting rights is the problem not child support.
/r/MensRights17/09/17 09:54 PM
3

The general theme is that father's don't 'ask' for custody, and regularly give up in mediation rather than go to trial. The fathers who do go to trial supposedly win more often than mothers. There is even a copypasta from one of the menslib admins that gets pasted regularly into any discussion of father's rights. There are also several columnists and articles claiming the same. Almost all of them cite the same Massachusetts Gender Bias study from the 80s. It's all very easily disproven, but no o…
/r/MensRights15/09/17 01:23 AM
1

It is not complicated. Mothers have parental rights by default. Fathers do not. A father you can only gain parenting rights with the mother's agreement or litigation. Mothers have parenting rights by default unless they are taken away.
/r/MensRights14/09/17 06:11 AM
2

We want good things. You disagree with us, therefore you must want bad things. You're an atheist, so you don't believe in the ten commandments, so you must think it's ok to murder people. You're an MRA, so you don't believe in feminism, so you must hate equality. You don't support the Iraq war? Do you hate America? Etc... It's the same tired old flawed argument. Where people conflate values with policies. If you don't follow our policies, you must not share our values.
/r/MensRights12/09/17 11:29 PM
1

Try to find common ground first, and build outward from there. Avoid labels and talking past each other.
/r/MensRights11/09/17 06:50 PM
6

The insidious part is that it's used as cover for female abusers.
/r/MensRights30/08/17 06:14 PM
8

The Duluth P&C wheels are always a blast. This will be what we refer to 50 years from now when people say "it wasn't that bad right?" Economic abuse: "Making her ask for money" - "Taking her money" It's abuse if she can't take money without asking. It's abuse if he can. Coercion and threats: "Threatening to leave her" It's abuse if I want to end a relationship? And of course, ask yourself if these items from the P&C wheel are typically 'male' forms of abuse. Destroying property Playing mind game…
/r/MensRights30/08/17 05:29 PM
2

You can be whatever you like, by all means attempt to reclaim feminism. In practice, everyone agrees that they want equality, but no one agrees on what defines equality, and which policies will achieve that goal.
/r/MensRights30/08/17 05:12 AM
1

It's a missed opportunity. I would have much rather seen an exploration of why and how she believes her position is supported. Many of the questions weren't asked in good faith. It's clear that the "wage gap" has almost nothing to do with the traditional narrative of employers discriminating/exploiting women, but it would be interesting to talk about why the variables all point one direction. Men and women make different choices on average, but men reliably choose to max earnings. Personally, I …
/r/MensRights24/08/17 03:18 PM
1

The MRM is consistently mischaracterized as something along the lines of: "Men sad they don't have power anymore." To many people this lines up with "Whites who are sad they don't have power anymore." I can see why they make the jump, but the problem is that it doesn't start from an accurate picture of the MRM, and it incorrectly conflates sexism with racism. A more accurate portrayal of men's rights and race. If we treat men as dangerous or disposable, this will affect minority men first. Selig…
/r/MensRights20/08/17 12:14 AM
2

Who spends $736/month on their car + insurance, when their rent is $700/month? Perhaps invest in a financial literacy class.
/r/MensRights11/08/17 03:13 PM
2

She's obviously the type of person who holds other people responsible for her own living standards. That she should not have exactly what she wants at all times is someone else's fault.
/r/MensRights11/08/17 03:11 PM
1

Similar thing happened to me in the early days. EX would demand all the parenting time in court and toss out unsubstantiated accusations as the justification. The same day we leave court she's asking me to take our kid until 'tomorrow' but we both know that she's not coming back until the next court date. It was all just a game to keep the support payments high.
/r/MensRights11/08/17 03:05 PM
1

Dad with primary custody here. It's amazing how many people assume that I should still be paying child support. It's based on the mistaken understanding that "If dad wants to see kids, he must pay." trope. Logically they assume that if I'm providing full time care, that somehow it equates to me writing a large check to the mother who gets every other weekend. TBH, they don't seem to think it all the way through.
/r/MensRights11/08/17 02:58 PM
2

State takes a father's kids away for four months without any evidence. Unbelievable.
/r/MensRights06/08/17 05:30 AM
1

How can my wife... She's the mother, and courts are biased. until the family court hears my case? By then the family court will consider the current living situation as "normal" and cite guidelines that say changing consistency is bad for kids. How is this reasonable in any way? It isn't. considering her assault charge? Assault charges only matter when you're a guy. The judges understand that they will never get in trouble for giving custody to the mother. No one will ever raise a fuss or try to…
/r/MensRights05/08/17 03:58 PM
186

It's more than just "what she said was not true". She carried out an organized harassment campaign against a dating partner who refused to give her what she wanted. Including using every tool society has to "protect women" as a weapon against her target. She wanted him isolated and destroyed. This is what female domestic violence looks like. This person isn't simply a liar, but an abuser.
/r/MensRights05/08/17 03:51 PM
1

You have be very well educated to come up with rationalizations this convoluted. Why don't we eye gouge? Why don't we knee kick? Why don't we kick someone while they are down? Or glass someone while their back is turned? This writer has no idea about escalation of force, and what baggage comes along with it.
/r/MensRights04/08/17 06:45 PM
7

It's not just that women succeeding more than men is treated as a good thing. It's also that men are treated like they are not pulling their weight. You see this in all the articles decrying how difficult it is on women to be in the majority on college campuses. How men need to "grow up and become marriage material" etc...
/r/MensRights01/08/17 11:46 PM
1

Feminism is about equality. Equality defined as: getting what you want that someone else has.
/r/MensRights31/07/17 05:44 PM
8

Women feel more fear of violence. Men actually experience more violence.
/r/MensRights31/07/17 03:39 PM
1

Tell activist teachers and professors what they want to hear. They will generally make it obvious to you. Take the easy A and move on with your life.
/r/MensRights26/07/17 01:01 AM
2

Duluth model. Not just that men are always guilty, but that women are always innocent.
/r/MensRights20/07/17 10:34 PM
9

Compelling a bad parent to show receipts for clothes and food will not improve a child's situation if we can't also change custody when that sort of behavior is identified. It's not that auditing couldn't uncover something, but that it's unlikely in the current environment to do anything useful.
/r/MensRights20/07/17 10:30 PM
9

No amount of rules or stipulations will matter if they are only applied to one gender. In the current environment I guarantee that any rule you propose to "hold people accountable" will impact men primarily. If we take child custody out of the equation, what is the vision of what happens to child support? Do you expect the courts (in their current state) to start reducing child support over a mother's profligacy? I find that extremely unlikely. Have you seen how difficult it is to get sanctions …
/r/MensRights20/07/17 10:15 PM
17

Personally I think this sort of thing is trying to attack the symptom rather than the disease. Imagine the ideal case one of the parents blows all the money on beer and cigarettes while the kids starve. Is tracking their spending really going to solve the problem here? Chances are that parent is bad in other areas, not merely financially. The primary issue is not child support, but that it's effectively impossible for men to be the primary caregiver over a mother's objections. Child support is o…
/r/MensRights20/07/17 09:09 PM
2

By that logic no one ever represents the view of any movement ever, because you could pick whomever you want at any time and "no true Scotsman" everyone else. Which of the headliners the MRM have could be possibly considered hateful? Certainly not Warren Farrell, or the Honey Badgers; maybe Paul Elam but only if you don't realize it's satire. Conversely you have entire organizations of feminists dedicated to fighting family court reform, and pushing policies like the Duluth model. To make a poli…
/r/MensRights14/07/17 04:19 PM
3

Ostensibly this is where you go to court and say "I have been the primary caregiver for the majority of my son's life, it is in his best interest to continue living with me." However that is unlikely for the following reasons. You were never married, which means prior to getting a court order, you have no parental rights. All mom has to do is drag things out in court long enough for you to run out of money. You have no resources because you were the primary caregiver, and now you are homeless an…
/r/MensRights14/07/17 06:31 AM
1

FYI, "border" not "boarder". Unless you are talking about people trying to seize your ship.
/r/MensRights11/07/17 09:57 PM
3

That's what I thought too. I was never more interested feminism, than after I went through a custody battle against an abusive woman. I was treated exceptionally different because of my gender. It was brutal to be treated so unequally simply because of how I was born. Feminism was billed as the movement to change that, and I was ready to jump in with both feet. Then I looked into it I discovered that feminism was the direct cause of all the policies that affected me negatively. There are feminis…
/r/MensRights10/07/17 02:27 PM
1

In most states parenting rights default to the mother unless there is contrary documentation (marriage, family court order). The fact that you were never married is going to work against you. Most states see unmarried mothers as primary custodians by default. Bluntly if all you have is a name on the birth certificate, you may not have any standing to insist on keeping your daughter without a court order. http://www.lawhelpmn.org/resource/rights-and-responsibilities-of-unmarried-pare "If the pare…
/r/MensRights06/07/17 04:23 AM
1

It's basically the apex fallacy writ large. Feminists define men as the rulers/bosses/owners etc... Precisely because those men have all the goodies that they want access to. All other men are invisible. Once you've defined 'Men' as 'the people who own/run the world' then it's easy to laugh at their complaints. "How are you complaining, you have it all?!" And of course the classic "We just want equality!" Means they want equality with anyone who has something they lack.
/r/MensRights01/07/17 01:08 AM
3

The problem is that those court orders are basically unenforceable for never-married men without a large amount of time/resources. The common theme is that dad gets visitation once a month, but during that time mom is nowhere to be found, or outright refuses visitation. Law enforcement will refuse to arrest, and tell you to go back to court. Court says you have to talk to a mediator first. Mediator says "do you both agree to follow the visitation schedule?" Both parents say "yes". Mediator recom…
/r/MensRights30/06/17 08:49 PM
1

Political beliefs seem to be increasingly based on tribalism and culture bundling rather than reason. That is the problem you face here. It's not the veracity of your arguments, it's simply that you have a different view and therefore are one of the enemy. Generally people acting in this manner aren't interested in any sort of discussion. Instead they are interested in humiliating you back into the fold of acceptable behavior. You see this when they go to extremes and call you "alt-right sexist"…
/r/MensRights30/06/17 08:38 PM
41

I always remember that Roe V Wade happened in the same era as the last large scale draft. RvW established that a woman had absolute autonomy of her body. Even to the point of killing her own unborn child. Literally no one can force her to take any risk/discomfort for nine months, even when she arrived there at her own choosing. Conversely men could be compelled into military servitude with no choice in how or when it occurs, or what risks they were personally willing to accept. Show up here, go …
/r/MensRights26/06/17 07:23 PM
2

Doubt it, and I agree it would be disingenuous to argue based on this point. Which is why I predicated it with "depends on how strictly you define voting rights." It's important to talk about the strictness of the definition though, because commonly any disagreement with Feminists will quickly go there. For example Feminists will use extremely strict definitions of what constitutes a violation of women's voting rights. For example they believe that women's rights are specifically violated/target…
/r/MensRights26/06/17 06:58 PM
4

Depends on how strictly you define 'voting rights'. You could argue that men and women don't have equal voting rights today. For example convicted Felons do not have voting rights. Guess what is a felony? Not registering for selective service. Who has to register for selective service? Only men. In order to retain voting rights as a male you have to consent to be drafted. Women are under no such obligation.
/r/MensRights26/06/17 06:25 PM
2

Well... Yes, if you ban guns, gun related things happen less. Just like if you ban cars there would be fewer car accidents. Doesn't matter if you have twice as many motorcycle accidents. One of the things you notice in countries that have gun bans is that total violence doesn't meaningfully change. Gun violence sure, but not total violence.
/r/MensRights24/06/17 11:07 PM
1

My recommendation is this excellent lecture given by Professor KC Johnson at the George Washington forum. specifically addresses due process on college campuses. https://youtu.be/KH26HU7JldA?t=5m53s It's a deep dive on recent policy decisions regarding sexual assault on campus. Completely unflappable speaker.
/r/MensRights24/06/17 07:20 AM
6

All those people are privileged professionals who've kept women out! Even when men do good, they are still bad. The true mark of bigotry is how the standards always change to rationalize the hatred.
/r/MensRights19/06/17 08:50 PM
3

I'll keep the lights on for you.
/r/MensRights19/06/17 08:48 PM
13

I can acknowledge that most crimes/attacks are committed by men. I believe that is statistically accurate. The problem is the conclusions drawn from the statistics. The problem you have with the "men are evil" conclusion is that it it is immune to evidence to the contrary. There are plenty of good things done more often by men as well, yet that never seems to change the view.
/r/MensRights19/06/17 08:22 PM
4

I do believe you. Feminists do oppose the idea that women must be caregivers, but they also oppose legal parenting equality. Of course these are likely different groups of feminists, but the net result is one where feminists want to dismiss the social requirements of being caregivers while fighting to retain the legal advantages. Menslib holds a similar viewpoint. One which presumes that the legal inequality doesn't exist, or is minor/irrelevant. It is not. Since you obviously support parenting …
/r/MensRights18/06/17 10:08 PM
3

The content of the discussion matters. If the discussions about custody outcomes is pushing the narrative that it's all father's fault, that is hardly what I consider being friendly to men's issues.
/r/MensRights18/06/17 07:35 PM
3

Headline: "Group of mens rights activists have gathered to protest to remove women's dv protections" Protests are much less effective if the media is not on your side.
/r/MensRights18/06/17 04:44 AM
3

If you've got a female friend who owes you a favor, have them call the courthouse when you need something, or if you have questions about forms etc... There were a number of times when I was going through my custody battle where the response to a female voice over the phone was much different. Not just courts.
/r/MensRights17/06/17 04:08 AM
1

Yep. This is the trap at the end of the child custody process. Even for the guys who fight it out to the end, and manage somehow to get something. Mom can still just say 'not today' with no repercussions. I dealt with this process several times. In practice it looked like this. She would refuse to honor the court ordered schedule. Call police to enforce court order. Police say they can't force her to turn over kiddo, but they will file a report. "Take it up with the judge". Judge says "The two o…
/r/MensRights16/06/17 03:51 PM
9

The leftwing media's violence flow chart: If he's a right winger blame all right wingers. If he's not a right winger blame gun owners. If he's not a gun owner blame it on him being white. If he's not a white person, blame it on him being male. If she's not male, point to any obscure way in which she was influenced by a male.
/r/MensRights15/06/17 05:37 PM
6

Not a MGTOW, but I could see it. The problem with MGTOWs is that it's most committed members are also the most silent. It is like judging the Amish based on their online presence, the ones who spend all their time online talking about being Amish are not representative. Fully MGTOW guys aren't running youtube channels about how women suck, they are simply living their lives. The more vocal "MGTOW" are guys simply threatening to give up women for attention. Masking dating failures as if it were t…
/r/MensRights02/06/17 01:14 AM
2

Sowell did a great take down of the wage gap decades ago, when this shit was just getting started. He dismantles the argument with a few stats interwoven, but without getting bogged down in a statistical discussion. I try to think of what he would say, whenever I'm in a debate. https://youtu.be/G_sGn6PdmIo?t=2m16s "There is no wage gap between men and women. The difference is between married women and everyone else."
/r/MensRights02/06/17 12:30 AM
2

Don't debate stats. Just move straight to the end and discuss social factors. That is where you will end up anyway. The few times I've wrestled the wage gap myth to the ground all that happens is the other side goes up one level and the whole conversation restarts from zero. i.e. "Ok, the AAUW, CONSAD, and several other statistical sources show that the gap is consistent with different work behaviors between men and women rather than sexism. However, to what extent are those differences in behav…
/r/MensRights02/06/17 12:30 AM
3

Unfortunately since they were never married he will start from zero. He will need to file a paternity suit, establish legal paternity, and seek court ordered visitation. It will be extremely unlikely for him to gain primary custody (mom would have to mess up in a big way). The distances involved will also be a major obstacle. He should speak with an attorney who can explain the realities of family court for unmarried fathers.
/r/MensRights26/05/17 06:10 AM
1

First establish what type of religious person they are. "I'd prefer if they were X, and I will instruct them in X, but if they chose to be a Y instead I will support that choice. I just want them to believe in something." -vs- "My grandfather was an X, and I am an X, like hell any kid of mine is not going to be an X." There is no convincing the second type of anything. Don't even bother trying.
/r/MensRights25/05/17 10:10 PM
2

The flaw with views like hers is that she assumes success is apportioned rather than created. That there is a fixed number of high status roles and they aren't being given out equally to all genders/races etc... It presents an 'original sin' that they can use to justify their actions towards anyone who has something that they want. She presents it here as an inherent debt owed to her and other people she defines as 'us'. by keeping your job and your other unearned privileges, you are running a c…
/r/MensRights20/05/17 11:52 PM
1

The crux of the issue is this. The current rules give mothers unlimited choices, and fathers none. There are a lot of ways to move the needle towards something more equitable. Lets put LPS aside for the moment and talk about how it actually works now, vs the views you've presented. To paraphrase your arguments basically say "If it's better for the kid, tough luck", but the problem is that standard isn't what is applied in practice. The standard in reality is "whatever the mother wants, regardles…
/r/MensRights18/05/17 02:35 AM
3

In the western world the largest source of sexism is feminism. Duluth model - Sexist Tender Years - Sexist Opposition to shared parenting - Sexist Opposing FGM, but not MGM - Sexist Not to mention the constant stream of Feminist propaganda that pushes extremely anti-male narratives.
/r/MensRights18/05/17 01:25 AM
13

Tasty patriarchy cake with a side of male privilege ice cream.
/r/MensRights18/05/17 01:02 AM
4

MRAs have always believed what feminists claim to believe. That men and women should be treated equally. Please join us at your leisure feminists. The problems start during the policy discussion. Then you find out that equality to a feminist is a world where women are ahead in every category regardless of the cost.
/r/MensRights18/05/17 01:00 AM
1

Three thoughts. The philosophy of mgtow is negation. I.e. Giving up and living for yourself without the expectations of settling down or raising a family. People that have truely relinquished those desires don't complain about it on reddit. The mgtow subreddit, is less like real mgtow and more like guys threatening to give up for attention. Similar to people who fantasize about hurting themselves to get back at others. If it is truely MGTOW people in that sub, then they could be regularly focusi…
/r/MensRights18/05/17 12:53 AM
29

We know that our position isn't a popular one. No one becomes an MRA for the accolades. Most of us are here because we have to be.
/r/MensRights18/05/17 12:41 AM
4

Then you are in a real pickle. Unmarried fathers have no rights to their children until the court grants them during litigation. Litigation can't start before a child is born. Obviously you have no legal standing to prevent her from leaving the country. The really shitty part about this is that she could return to the US a year later and hit you with a huge child support obligation. Sorry idk man. Ask her nicely not to disappear with your kid?
/r/MensRights17/05/17 12:08 AM
1

When it comes to filicide. I always point out that just measuring male/female offenders doesn't tell the whole story. The US breaks out stats by relationship. IIRC it's something like: 1 Mother 2 Father 3 Mother's Boyfriend 4 Father's Girlfriend Where #2 and #3 are fairly close, and #4 is very distant. Drawing this distinction is important when talking about child custody and violence. People often imply that fathers shouldn't have custody because men are violent. Ignoring that a significant fra…
/r/MensRights16/05/17 11:05 PM
1

Were you ever legally married?
/r/MensRights16/05/17 10:22 PM
1

This is going to be a little harsh, but it sounds like your friend rolled over, and only now realizes that losing a divorce sucks. He pulled the financial equivalent of: "I got a bunch of credit cards and quit my job to spend money full time. Now I'm in debt, had my car repo'd and can't get a job. I'm going to be evicted next week. What do I do to fix it?" Not taking action immediately when she left is his largest mistake. She is now the defacto caregiver for the kids. The second largest mistake…
/r/MensRights16/05/17 10:13 PM
1

Glad to hear that worked out well for you. Sounds like things are changing. In my experience I called the police dozens of times over the course of two years. Never once was it taken seriously. Even when I had witnesses.
/r/MensRights16/05/17 08:51 PM
3

That's not an accident. Modern feminism is Marxist thought applied to gender.
/r/MensRights12/05/17 07:04 PM
3

Not trying to begrudge anyone their religious practices, but the circumcision of infants presumes that the child will wish to follow that religion later in life.
/r/MensRights11/05/17 11:10 PM
4

If there is one myth I could dispel, it would be that the mrm hates women. Or that MRAs are just bitter because of a bad experience with a woman. That line of thinking minimizes the problems men face.
/r/MensRights11/05/17 08:20 AM
50

Joe Biden authored the original 94 VAWA.
/r/MensRights10/05/17 05:52 PM
1

The issues that the MRM is focused on are gradually becoming noticed by the mainstream. Not sure if this translates specifically into the MRM gaining traction. I haven't seen any political candidates looking for MRM support for example.
/r/MensRights08/05/17 10:31 PM
1

The media assumes that any man who says something bad about women is an MRA, because that's what MRAs are right? Define MRAs as misogynists and then you can claim every misogynist is an MRA. Doesn't matter if they've never claimed to be an MRA, or actively argued against MRAs. Conversely you can spend years on a women's studies degree, be on the board of a large feminist action group, and write policies based on feminist principles. And still not count as "a feminist".
/r/MensRights01/05/17 05:34 PM
2

Don't give her the whole outline of why and how. All that will do is get her started on ways to manipulate your social circle. Just end it via phone call and cut her off.
/r/MensRights30/04/17 06:14 PM
1

Start from 50/50. If anyone wants to deviate, they can go to court to prove why it's better for the child.
/r/MensRights28/04/17 06:33 PM
5

This is exactly why I know that menslib and similar subs will never change anything positively for men. They don't even understand the problem, aren't even interested in critically examining the problem, and are actively pushing the counter narrative that everything is 'just fine' in family courts. No mention of the disparities between joint legal custody and parenting time. No mention of the way fathers and mothers are treated differently prior to going to court. No analysis of the random 'half…
/r/MensRights28/04/17 02:40 PM
3

In the US establishing paternity does not grant parental rights or visitation. Fathers start from zero, and have to litigate to gain rights. If you are an unmarried father who wants custody the process looks like this. Go to court to establish paternity first. This involves filing a sworn statement with supporting evidence that you believe the child is yours. The judge will issue a court order for a DNA test. The mother can oppose/delay this process, but usually the DNA test is granted. Then the…
/r/MensRights26/04/17 07:53 PM
2

There is no easy answer here that works for all situations. A child should have involvement with both bio-parents if possible. I don't see why a mother should lose custody simply because the father got married. Conversely, if it's already a single parent situation where the mother isn't involved, and the step parent has become a parent to the child. Effectively becoming the adoptive mother. It's hard to say that the step parent should have no standing at all. The current law in most states grant…
/r/MensRights26/04/17 07:26 PM
7

You pay child support until the kid reaches 18. With medical, childcare and college costs tacked on in many cases.
/r/MensRights26/04/17 07:09 PM
1

It's not an accident. You see the same sort of behavior in any social or politically motivated group. What begins from a broadly supported position gradually becomes extreme due to the internal forces within groups. The people most invested in feminism, are also likely to be the same people who see misogyny everywhere. Conversely if you think women are mostly equal with men today, it's unlikely that you will be trying to organize marches or political action. Only the most extreme are the most mo…
/r/MensRights26/04/17 06:50 PM
3

K
/r/MensRights22/04/17 01:19 AM
3

Sadly this is true for many feminists. Men are the enemy until they have a son. I imagine it is similar when TRP types have a daughter.
/r/MensRights22/04/17 01:15 AM
4

Who gets the kid is mostly predicated on gender not capability.
/r/MensRights22/04/17 01:10 AM
1

Don't presume that home parents must be mothers.
/r/MensRights22/04/17 01:09 AM
9

Male DV victims are invisible. I had a female stalker who made my life hell for two years. Primarily using the tools in place to protect women from DV. I never expected society to save me from abusive relationships, but it shouldn't participate. Sidenote. It's not a problem to establish that "men have issues to address". The hard part is explaining "no feminism doesn't solve them", and followed by "no I don't hate women".
/r/MensRights17/04/17 11:36 PM
1

Put some distance between "ideas" and "identity". What you believe doesn't have to be who you are. Keep your identity small. Just look at a history book and you will see countless examples of extreme views being 'normal' for the era. Humans have a long history of considering really bad ideas as truth. There are certainly more examples that will only seem obvious in hindsight. Consider yourself an observing scientist rather than proselytizing missionary.
/r/MensRights16/04/17 06:16 PM
1

To me the important part aren't even the stats. It's the difference in conclusions. If 5% of CEOs are women, that stat alone is enough to prove institutional discrimination according to feminists. Necessitating a huge outpouring of resources to fix the imbalance, and find all these successfully executives who are being judged differently because of their gender. If 5% of DV perps are women. That just shows how bad men really are.
/r/MensRights11/04/17 12:04 AM
3

Men Going Their Own Way. Guys that eschew marriage and family. Feeling that any sort of long term involvement with a woman presents risks that aren't equal to the benefits. MRA = Balance the rules. Redpill = Learn how to win regardless of what the rules are or who loses. MGTOW = Refuse to play a rigged game.
/r/MensRights10/04/17 11:11 PM
2

Abused men aren't supposed to exist. Then one shows up and they are like "sorry you aren't supposed to exist so we don't have anything for you, just look at the stats and you'll see there aren't very many men who receive these services." As if the two statements are completely unrelated.
/r/MensRights10/04/17 10:52 PM
11

While the supreme court was hearing arguments about Roe v. Wade and establishing women's right to control their own bodies. Teenage guys were receiving draft notices. That's all you need to know about how we treat men vs women. Women have zero responsibility even for their own decisions about their body. Men are required to risk their lives thousands of miles from home because they were born 18 years before we needed cheap soldiers.
/r/MensRights07/04/17 08:57 PM
2

No that's a bad call. Generally they justify it along the lines of: "Women are underrepresented at <cushy/trendy job> and we are trying to fix that. Why would we promote a male event that would only further the imbalance" You will not get past that point, and only come off looking like a lunatic to the normies if you press the issue. The right answer is to work on your own brand and build your own private network of skilled people of both genders. Don't try and complain your way to the top, it w…
/r/MensRights07/04/17 01:41 AM
1

They have setup the claim in such a way that it could never be conceivably disproven outside of stark dystopia. Neither of the songs mentioned condone rape, and I bet if you asked the individual artists they wouldn't say "Yep, totally trying to normalize rape!" But that doesn't matter, because the anointed feminists have decided it does condone rape culture. Of course if anyone anywhere in society makes a song defined by feminists as problematic, then it must mean the entire society is guilty fo…
/r/MensRights04/04/17 08:18 PM
3

I agree that what you describe is wrong, but that's not what happened in this instance. Obsessively treating every man with suspicion (just because he is male) is different than checking on someone due to specific behaviors surrounding an incident. Lets not conflate the two issues here because it would only weaken the valid point you've made about suspicions related to gender rather than suspicions related to actions.
/r/MensRights01/04/17 06:46 PM
21

I have zero problem with what occurred there. It's not like she called the police and accused him of assault or anything. She just checked up on someone in a subtle manner that didn't cause any harmful overreactions. All she saw was two people talking animatedly and possibly an elbow strike. Totally understandable and she handled it well imho.
/r/MensRights01/04/17 12:15 AM
2

The problem with these sorts of articles is that they fall into the conspiracy theorists trap of assuming that anything that is not explicitly disproved is automatically a point in their favor. I.E. Now that we've controlled for [factors] everything else is proven to be discrimination. But that's not the case. If I claimed that all missing persons were abducted by aliens, and was asked to provide proof, since many missing people are later found and none have been in alien custody. I couldn't sim…
/r/MensRights28/03/17 05:44 PM
6

Work is just an excuse men have. It is a cover for our patriarchy meetings. We all sit around a huge conference table sipping martini's talking about how to keep all women in subjugation. What is on the agenda today? How to take up more space in the subway! I thought we covered that last week? Nothing difficult or stressful ever happens, and we can just spend the afternoons at the golf course. Thank god I'm at work and not at home being forced to care for my daughter. I might see her first steps…
/r/MensRights17/03/17 07:32 PM
3

Good point. When a woman does something, we expect her to be repaid for any effort or mild sacrifice (with a huge pat on the back for doing the 'hardest job in the world'). When a man does something he is expected to keep doing it forever because everyone is used to getting the benefit of what he provides. While also apologizing for any inconvenience his sacrifices made to anyone else. Also, most stats on childcare and housework are cooked. For example when they say housework, they define it nar…
/r/MensRights17/03/17 07:24 PM
1

Gives feminists the cover to hate men while claiming to only hate the 'culture'.
/r/MensRights14/03/17 11:31 PM
4

It's not a reasoned position. People who want free stuff all the time will always find rationalizations to make their demands.
/r/MensRights14/03/17 11:21 PM
1

NY, FL, MN
/r/MensRights11/03/17 06:02 AM
5

The best response to exaggerated or dishonest statistical conclusions is truth and accuracy. Not our own exaggerated claims.
/r/MensRights01/03/17 12:39 AM
0

What does this have to do with men's rights? Someone making a video game according to their tastes has nothing to do with my rights, and everything to do with theirs. If you don't like the message it sends, don't buy it. Personally I don't care. If it's a fun/interesting game I'd buy it. If we can enjoy playing a game like GTA and not be bothered about 'the message'. Why should we care about this?
/r/MensRights01/03/17 12:24 AM
0

Yes it can be applied to anything, and that's a good thing. What a great country we live in where people are free to make games that explore such topics. Even if those topics offend or disagree with others. Wouldn't have it any other way.
/r/MensRights01/03/17 12:19 AM
1

Meh. Don't care in the slightest. Even if it's some sort of Feminist fantasy where they rid the world of ultimate evil by stopping the evil men, so what? Is it fun to play? Does it present an interesting alternative universe? IMHO, boycotting crap like this would just mean we are like feminists who want to no-platform anything that doesn't agree with our worldview.
/r/MensRights01/03/17 12:15 AM
7

Step 1 Set boundaries: Define what behavior you find acceptable or unacceptable. Step 2 Take the necessary actions to enforce those boundaries.
/r/MensRights01/03/17 12:09 AM
2

The M&M meme was originally a feminist meme long before it was used in the immigration debate. It was part of the #notallmen #yesllallwomen meme about three years ago. Of course they all realized how bad that sort of generalization was at the exact moment it was used by someone else.
/r/MensRights28/02/17 08:51 PM
7

Another article also by the same author: "Where are the videos inspiring boys to do 'feminine' jobs?" http://www.dailylife.com.au/life-and-love/parenting-and-families/where-are-the-videos-inspiring-boys-to-do-feminine-jobs-20160531-gp88rl.html ...where are the inspirational videos encouraging boys to be nurses, child care workers, aged carers, librarians, social workers and other female-dominated professions? I am all for encouraging girls to peruse any profession that they want, and I strongly …
/r/MensRights28/02/17 08:42 PM
2

The stats are obviously suspicious, but lets leave that out for now. Instead lets ask ourselves where else these sorts of statistical judgements on gender could occur. Would the author be as understanding if an employer felt that women were unsuited to leadership roles because of some ginned up stats on gender based performance rates?
/r/MensRights28/02/17 07:59 PM
3

u/franklindeer isn't just talking about time spent, but also the total number of female vs male caregivers. It's not that there are more bad women in total. It is that bad male caregivers get weeded out at a higher rate than bad female caregivers. Which is exactly what we would expect given how men and women are treated differently in regards to childcare.
/r/MensRights28/02/17 07:52 PM
2

There have been a few analyses of the wage gap that focus specifically on marriage and child rearing. Specifically that there isn't a male/female wage gap, but there is a married woman vs everyone else wage gap. https://youtu.be/v_pQ7KXv0o0?t=2m30s
/r/MensRights25/01/17 02:35 PM
2

Yes. Men do spend vastly more time concerned about earning money. Every earnings indicator shows male predominance. Men are more likely to work longer hours, take more risk, select higher paying careers etc... Even just the workforce figures bear that out. More men choose to work than women. What is also interesting is the 'spending gap'. Women tend to control a disproportional share of household spending. Men work harder to make money, and women spend more of it without working. IMHO if you fli…
/r/MensRights21/01/17 09:44 PM
6

So how do you think we should treat a parent that sacrifices his career to care for the kids? This is almost never at issue during an alimony proceeding. Usually it's about maintaining living standards. There are divorces without children that involve alimony. The traditional reason for alimony is that the husband had control over where and when the wife worked. Alimony was the legal duty associated with that control. Thankfully spouses no longer have that kind of control over each other, but th…
/r/MensRights19/01/17 08:55 PM
9

Alimony shouldn't exist at all, or at least it should be extremely limited. Both spouses are adults who make their own decisions. I don't have a problem with the child support system per se. The real problem is child custody and father's rights. If men had equal parenting rights, and child support was applied more equally, then there wouldn't be a problem in my opinion.
/r/MensRights19/01/17 07:05 PM
4

I agree but I try not to get worked up about it. Even the episodes that have female perps usually have some evil guy in the mix pulling the strings.
/r/MensRights13/01/17 03:37 PM
0

OP is not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. (Nor is it good advice)
/r/MensRights06/01/17 12:44 AM
11

The authors of the Duluth model consider family violence a gendered issue. If he hits her, it's because he is asserting societies patriarchal oppression of women. If she hits him, it's because she is defending herself from patriarchal oppression.
/r/MensRights05/01/17 11:35 PM
4

Most of them. The Duluth model is widely adopted.
/r/MensRights05/01/17 11:31 PM
4

Yep. Good old Duluth Model of domestic violence. The best counter example to "Feminism helps men too". I often hear feminists claim that 'patriarchy' is at fault for the unequal treatment of male DV victims. When the duluth model is feminist ideals codified into law and policy. Also note how broad the definitions are for all of this. In my experience this is perfect for abusive women who want to claim self defense. If you show up and claim "My wife is striking me regularly and I want her prosecu…
/r/MensRights05/01/17 11:29 PM
1

Feminist stats think tank: More women die at work! Hmm... That is too easily refuted More women are murdered at work! hmm... also easily disproved Of women who die at work, a larger percentage are murdered! Ding Feminist headline: Women more likely to be murdered at work! Far more men are murdered at work, but thankfully we've found a way to frame it like a problem that disproportionately affects women. While also conveniently using the thousands of men dying of other causes to do it.
/r/MensRights03/01/17 11:35 PM
1

IANAL - TINLA what does this process look like for me? Really depends on how well the two of you can agree to split things. Best case. The two of you work out an agreement among yourselves, or through mediation. Saving yourselves the money, time and stress of protracted litigation. Even if you can't come to a complete agreement, try to limit the number of areas where you need the courts to decide for you. what sort of spousal maintenance might I be expected to pay? The guidelines in Texas are fa…
/r/MensRights03/01/17 11:19 PM
133

The court is keeping you on the hook for the mother because otherwise she is the state's problem.
/r/MensRights03/01/17 06:52 PM
13

Even better. Now imagine that the ex drops your kid off at your doorstep whenever she gets tired of being a parent (which is always). Only showing up to take holiday time or vacation. All the costs of raising a kid full time while paying big dollars in child support to bio-mom.
/r/MensRights03/01/17 06:50 PM
2

The ERA works provided there is no clause like the hayden rider.
/r/MensRights19/12/16 06:30 AM
2

Exactly the problem isn't that bad women exist. It's that everyone acts like they don't. Or that men can't be anything other than a perpetrator. Good or bad isn't determined by gender.
/r/MensRights11/12/16 07:17 AM
1

And conversely that anything feminist must be good. If whatever policy doesn't turn out to be 'good' it is inherently not feminist. Because feminist is good. Even the person in question is screaming I'm a feminist, while they apply the principles they learned in women's studies, and supported by thousands of people organized under feminist banners. If the result is bad or unequal then it instantly becomes 'actually it's patriarchy because we found out a few guys were involved.' This is how we ge…
/r/MensRights08/12/16 09:31 PM
1

Circular logic is all authors like these need. I know that MRAs are misogynists, so whenever I find misogynists they must be MRAs. Doesn't have to even be MRA 'extremists'. Just anyone who is male and has a bad opinion instantly becomes an MRA. Remember when "MRAs are boycotting Mad Max!" because RoK posted one article. RoK explicitly says they aren't MRAs. Didn't matter. Yet we can point to the Duluth Model which was a system explicitly created with feminist academic principles applied to domes…
/r/MensRights08/12/16 08:54 PM
2

Ok we should trade. Women make all the money, but men get to spend it all. Men automatically get child custody, and women automatically get child support payments. Then men get to complain about how hard it is to spend all the money and have authority over their families while not working.
/r/MensRights31/10/16 11:02 PM
1

Exactly. I can respect Sanders, and his supporters. They may have been optimistic about how the world works, but they were trying to do the right thing for the right reasons. How quickly the same group flipped over to Hillary told me it's not naivete though. I can forgive someone for believing in Sanders. Hard to extend sympathy to people who support HRC. For the record I feel the same about Trump and "Family Values" conservatives/republicans.
/r/MensRights24/10/16 07:26 PM
14

As an independent, I can't in good conscience vote for either of them. It's not that I'm against the idea of voting for the 'less bad' candidate, I just refuse to pick between people who only disagree on which rights to take away first. I'm voting Johnson. I know he won't win, but I do not care. Does this mean I'm indirectly helping <X> candidate by not voting <Y> candidate? Yes, but that's not my problem.
/r/MensRights24/10/16 07:18 PM
10

No one should be surprised by this. Democrats normally win by getting women's votes. Specifically unmarried women. Men pay most of the taxes, women consume most of the entitlement dollars. Different incentives generate different voting patterns. Additionally this is why democrats harp on things like VAWA and the wage gap etc... We get a lot of left leaning MRAs who think that the Democrats are merely naive, or taken in by Feminists. Democrat politicians know what the facts are. They know wage ga…
/r/MensRights24/10/16 05:40 PM
1

That would be a really short flow chart.
/r/MensRights14/10/16 11:53 PM
2

K36 has been on here a long time, and has contributed good content. Sometimes providing a reality check for the more extreme views.
/r/MensRights10/10/16 05:13 PM
3

He isn't obligated to disprove the assertion you've created. He is merely asking for you to prove your own assertion. Reading the rest of your comments seems like you don't understand this.
/r/MensRights07/10/16 08:51 PM
25

Women: He must be tall and have a full head of hair. Rich but not too busy to waste time on my bullshit. Young but also mature. Work with his hands, but be well manicured. Rough and confident, but not overbearing. Athletic and fit, but doesn't spend too much time away at the gym. He should also be unattached, never married, no kids, and also he has to get along with both of my kids because I'm a mom and we are a package deal! Guys: Yeah whatev, probably not fat or old though.
/r/MensRights06/10/16 02:22 AM
6

Anyone who thinks we force toy choices on our kids has never met a two year old. If anything it's the opposite. Commonly these sorts of 'we program our kids to like X' attitude comes from younger sjws who are confronting their own desires and interests in a way that allows them to blame their parents.
/r/MensRights03/10/16 05:42 PM
1

Both Hillary and Trump are terrible. Neither side gives a damn about anything MRA. You think Hillary is the only anti-male candidate? What gender do you think will be the target of "law and order" stop and frisk policies? Vote Johnson.
/r/MensRights01/10/16 10:00 PM
1

Horseshoe theory in action. Radfems and Traditionalists are remarkably close on some issues.
/r/MensRights29/09/16 09:27 PM
22

A good example is the lego friends debacle. Feminists got up in arms because girls get dolls and boys get legos. http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1883 Lego: "Well it's not like we have rules saying girls can't buy our shit? Quite the opposite." Feminists: "But you don't market to girls! It's all spaceships, guns, and construction equipment!" Lego: "Uh we've been using non-gendered marketing for decades? Whatever, Fine. Here is Lego Friends. Pink legos where you can build girly things." Feminists: …
/r/MensRights29/09/16 09:20 PM
0

Tell them what they want to hear. Get a good grade and move on with your life. Don't let this crap hold you up.
/r/MensRights29/09/16 08:01 PM
18

Why does only one side need to be made whole? Being the breadwinner is not without sacrifice. You miss countless events and milestones in life, risk your health, and dedicate your time to earning in order to support the entire family. Why aren't family courts saying 'your turn to work <non-working spouse> and now it's time for breadwinner to get a break and spend time with the kids. It's been five years and you've never worked or pursued an education.' Working to earn money for others to spend i…
/r/MensRights21/09/16 04:54 PM
2

It depends of course, but to answer the spirit of the question: If women are a 3 and men are a 7. I'd say that we should be around 4.5 Just a little less than splitting the difference. Primarily because we've gone too far in being 'tough on crime' etc... But we still need to move women up a little on the accountability scale. Of course there are other factors involved here. Money and race are the big ones. Rich/connected people just aren't subject to the same justice system as the rest of us. An…
/r/MensRights20/09/16 08:21 PM
3

I subscribe to the "greater variation" theory of the gender divide. Men simply have a larger deviation from the human average. Looking at almost any outlier traits and you find male predominance. Not just in high performing traits. Geniuses are mostly men. People with learning disabilities are mostly men. Professional athletes are mostly men. Physically handicapped are mostly men. CEOs are mostly men. Homeless people are mostly men. World's tallest human? Male. World's shortest human? Male. You …
/r/MensRights20/09/16 08:00 PM
2

Feminism’s history is one of falsely gendering human rights issues. They then advocate as if only women’s experience of those issues matters, and only women deserve relief from the conditions which cause those issues, while only men bear culpability for them. This has been the reasoning feminists have used to advocate “reforms” which create benefits for their movement and some women at the expense of male obligation and sacrifice
/r/MensRights14/09/16 07:07 PM
0

The other difference is that with a 'baby switching' scenario you have a biological child who was taken from you.
/r/MensRights11/09/16 03:10 PM
1

Are there legitimate differences between men and women or not? Yes there are obvious biological differences. Behavioral differences are harder to pin down, but the statistical differences between male and female behavior is significant. What role should they play in society, education, jobs, sports, military, etc? Almost none. We can acknowledge the differences between men and women without making those differences prescriptive. Basically, we aren't surprised that most oil rig workers are male, …
/r/MensRights05/09/16 04:34 PM
2

Perhaps just really really sheltered. One glance at the romance section of any bookstore would show countless bodice rippers that feature non-consensual themes.
/r/MensRights02/09/16 11:52 PM
4

What are you talking about? Women don't oppress men. If you think that's why we are here, you're mistaken. For example if a woman insta-wins family court, that's not the woman oppressing a man. It's the court system as an extension of society. We aren't here because we view every female abuser as an extension of the Matriarchy or something. We are here because of the society that enables a female abuser to avoid accountability because it can only see men as perps and women as victims.
/r/MensRights31/08/16 04:13 AM
1

Nice try throwaway account asking loaded questions. Good try though.
/r/MensRights29/08/16 04:55 AM
1

Overall the point is. If the author wants to judge men in entirety, she should be grateful.
/r/MensRights24/08/16 08:55 PM
3

I can agree that violence is predominately committed by men[1], but why consider 'violence' in a vacuum? Law enforcement is mostly male, crime victims are mostly male etc... In general men are at the top of everything good or bad. If you want to be a misogynist, you only count the good (men win most of the nobel prizes ergo men are great). If you want to be a misandrist you only look at the bad stuff (men start most of the wars ergo men are evil). [1]The difference between men and women is small…
/r/MensRights24/08/16 08:18 PM
1

Until they get divorced, or face a child custody battle. Then they realize sexism isn't over.
/r/MensRights23/08/16 05:34 PM
1

This is exactly it OP. Generally the unmarried father flowchart looks like this (working backwards): Father has no rights at all until a court grants visitation or custody rights. The court won't grant rights until after the father files suit in family court. The father can't file suit in family court until legally established as the father of the child. Can't be legally established as the father until the child is born and a paternity test is performed.
/r/MensRights08/08/16 11:42 PM
1

I've never heard of a legal jurisdiction where you have 50/50 custody and primary care and you're still paying child support and alimony. That's mind boggling to me. Prepare to be boggled. Because child support is calculated based on income, so 50/50 doesn't matter if she stops working. Alimony is separate from child custody. I've also never heard of a court ordered agreement that shifts with the child's age like this to rob one of the parties of visitation time. Did you sign off on this agreeme…
/r/MensRights08/08/16 10:13 PM
5

it’s logistically necessary with unmarried couples to grant the mother custody until paternity can be established. The problem is there are also no rights inherent after paternity is established. Becoming legally the father only confers child support responsibility. Visitation can only be gained with mother's permission or litigation. Further this initial 'necessity' translates into a huge leg up when deciding custody. "The best interests of the child" standards have associated guidelines that h…
/r/MensRights02/08/16 05:59 PM
3

There are really four layers at work here. Policies, ideologies, groups, and individuals. Often collisions occur when people confuse which one each side is referring to, or conflate all of them. A simplified version would be something like this: MRA: "I don't like feminism (ideology) because they push things like the Duluth model of domestic violence (policy)." Feminist: "What you don't like feminism? That just means equality! You don't want women (group) to be equal ?!" When precisely what the …
/r/MensRights01/08/16 08:05 PM
55

If it were a good movie, I'd see it regardless of the politics. If it were a bad movie I wouldn't see it regardless of the politics. Honestly I think the "MRAs hate new ghostbusters" thing is mainly just bait. Similar to mad max.
/r/MensRights25/07/16 07:17 PM
14

I don't really care who pays for dates, but I do find it hilarious that the author managed to rationalize both of these views: Accept a paid for date without judging herself as sexist. Reserve the right to judge him as sexist for paying for a date.
/r/MensRights21/07/16 03:26 PM
2

Support neither. Spend whatever time/effort you have on yourself. No politician is going to fix it for you.
/r/MensRights11/07/16 05:46 AM
3

You need to understand what is being argued in a child support hearing. The courts do not care about your financial situation. However much debt you are in or how high your bills are do not matter at all. In most states the child support calculation is based on the incomes of both parents and the amount of parenting time. It is literally a math problem with three variables. That is it. Documentation about your overall financial situation is irrelevant. You need to prove that you make less money,…
/r/MensRights08/07/16 06:02 PM
1

Meh. Things don't change overnight, but they are clearly changing. You see this much more clearly when looking back to where things were vs. where they are now. IMHO the high water mark for misandry would have been back in the mid 90s to early 2000s. Back when VAWA was openly gendered, before the definition of rape was changed to include male victims. Most states had family court rules with a model of custodial vs non-custodial parent. Lifetime alimony was still a regular thing. Public discourse…
/r/MensRights04/07/16 03:25 PM
2

It isn't a contest and we aren't seeking the same things as feminists. No one here is trying to say that IPV services should be male only, or that VAWA grants should only go to help men. We don't have to prove that one side is "more victimized" to any large degree. The stats presented here are attempting to challenge the feminist narrative that men=bad and women=good. Treating IPV and sexual assault as a gendered issue is the wrong approach.
/r/MensRights02/07/16 07:53 AM
1

A noticeable difference in treatment as a man seeking an order of protection against a woman. A noticeable difference in enforcement of said order.
/r/MensRights25/06/16 09:28 PM
1

Equating "teach men not to rape" with "teach kids to wash their hands" is obviously an apples-oranges comparison. Can you acknowledge that?
/r/MensRights25/06/16 08:37 PM
2

When I was seeking a restraining order to protect myself from a stalker. When I was arrested for being a victim of DV at the hands of a woman. When I was fighting for custody of my son, and was repeatedly held to a different standard than his mother. Now please go ahead and issue condescending "corrections" about how that's all patriarchy and actually misogyny. As if I've not looked into these issues on my own and taken an informed position.
/r/MensRights25/06/16 08:28 PM
1

As /u/bougabouga mentioned. I expect that the main group that this will affect are women. That is the main demographic that is avoiding prison time for sexual assault. This is something I could support. But I expect that prosecutors would charge women using different types of charges to avoid the minimums. The overarching problem with things like domestic violence and sexual assault cases is that often the evidence is flimsy i.e. "he said, she said". Feminists have long sought to lower the bar o…
/r/MensRights23/06/16 04:25 PM
4

Fathers are granted custody when they ask for it.
/r/MensRights16/06/16 09:47 PM
1

MRAs are not 'against gender roles' Prescribed gender roles yes absolutely. The crucial difference between MRAs and Feminism is that we do not seek active intervention. If you're a 100lb woman who wants to play in the NFL, the world doesn't owe it to you. Nor is it being unfair to you. try remembering this movement started as primarily straight white males looking to restore society You think MRAs are some form of Tradcons? Seriously. Have you read the sidebar for this sub? You assholes fighting…
/r/MensRights15/06/16 03:27 AM
4

A.) MRAs believe in equality between the sexes, and are against gender roles. B.) On specific policy issues: I'm against the Duluth model of domestic violence (feminists in favor) I'm in favor of parenting equality (feminists oppose) On a broader level: I believe that feminism tends to have a very one sided and narrow view of equality. I can acknowledge that most CEOs, Politicians, etc... are men, but so are most homeless, incarcerated, handicapped, etc... There are vastly more of the latter. Me…
/r/MensRights13/06/16 04:19 PM
3

You said he was raping her before the attack No. That it became rape before she lost consciousness. I was answering OPs scenario. My point #1 corresponds with OPs point #1. It's about the criteria of when it becomes an attack. That point is before the total loss of consciousness. To restate this in a clearer fashion: OP: If she passes out does it immediately become rape? JG: Before that even, because someone who passed out due to intoxication was probably unable to consent before that.
/r/MensRights12/06/16 12:38 AM
13

The operative issue here is one person is committing an act and the other is being acted upon. If she was found on top of him after taking his clothes off while he was incapacitated and unable to consent then she would be the rapist.
/r/MensRights11/06/16 01:06 AM
51

Meh it's not complicated. Don't do things to people when they are incoherently drunk. It is not > "I had a glass of wine with dinner so what happened after was totes rape even though I enthusiastically consented the entire time." It is > "I couldn't spell my own name, and couldn't walk because I was so far gone. I was obviously incapacitated even according to the defendant." If she's drunk enough to pass out. It's not like she was 100% lucid leading up to the attack. IMHO it was rape before duri…
/r/MensRights08/06/16 02:47 PM
6

http://archive.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm07/cm07.pdf Nearly 39 percent (38.7%) of victims were maltreated by their mother acting alone (figure 3–6). Nearly 18 percent (17.9%) of victims were maltreated by their father acting alone. Nearly 17 percent (16.8%) were maltreated by both parents. Additionally there is a large difference between father + other (0.9%) and mother + other (5.7%). Two things about child abuse that you can always catch feminists using to avoid the issue. They often don'…
/r/MensRights03/06/16 06:32 AM
1

I'm reminded of the Solomon and the two mothers. Father's rights is my #1 issue, but I would give up time before sending my kids to jail. The judge is out of line here. I'm certain there were other tools available to affect the visitation schedule.
/r/MensRights31/05/16 03:48 PM
6

Obvious straw man. The MRA he constructs is somehow more concerned about affirmative action than male disposability? Supposedly we are concerned about some nebulous concept of 'manly male masculinity' over the biases built into the justice system? In contrast I can point to decades of organized Feminist opposition to shared parenting and father's rights. Yet he just waves it all away as "well actually patriarchy did that". Bullshit. Feminists fought for policies that favor mothers, and continue …
/r/MensRights31/05/16 03:14 PM
2

Feminist opposition to shared parenting is wavering. The main NOW website deleted a lot of their anti-shared parenting and anti-father stuff a few years ago. They still has some opposition behind the scenes, but overall I expect their opposition to slowly fold over the next 5-10 years. There is still effective opposition at the local level propped up by family law attorneys. But the excuses to oppose shared parenting are getting flimsy and people just don't buy that father=abuser anymore.
/r/MensRights23/05/16 03:19 AM
2

Rolling Stone "We just published what someone told us, if Jackie lied, then that's on her." UVA "We just took action based on a report/story, if Jackie lied that's unfortunate, but don't blame us. We were acting on what we were told." It's like a woefully inadequate version of the Nuremburg defense. Everyone saying "it's not our fault we took extreme actions based on zero evidence". Everyone is trying to pin this all on Jackie, but IMHO that's the wrong target. Crazy people will always exist of …
/r/MensRights20/05/16 05:31 PM
7

I'm happy that women are negotiating for better compensation. A depressing number of women I know have never negotiated compensation in their entire lives. However, I do take issue with the tenor of the article and the tactics employed during negotiation. It's one thing to walk into a negotiation and ask for a larger piece of the pie based on the importance of the role, and what you bring to the table. It's entirely different to say "pay me or I tell everyone you hate women". Then bosses comply …
/r/MensRights18/05/16 08:14 PM
1

Spelled out in the FAQ in the sidebar Most orgs focus on a single issue or a small handful of issues. There is no overarching MRA org. Parenting equality (aka father's rights) (Legally) Presumption of joint legal and physical custody for all legally established parents. (Socially) Frame it as "parenting equality" rather than "fathers rights".
/r/MensRights17/05/16 01:26 AM
1

Yeah the doublethink is always hilarious. There is always some reason that explains it all away. Nothing is ever their fault. Just go dark. No phone calls, no texts and just one email saying "Please do not contact me or approach me in person". Get this shit out of your life completely. Or it won't end well.
/r/MensRights11/05/16 01:05 AM
1

I don't.
/r/MensRights11/05/16 12:49 AM
3

Grass is always greener... Feminists thought that working fulltime was "Mad Men" and not "Office Space".
/r/MensRights09/05/16 06:50 PM
0

One full time working adult used to support a family. I'm talking everything, medical care, education, buying a car, buying a house and having savings. When exactly are you referring to where this was the case? I'm fairly sure that any changes you describe could be directly explained by a combination of government intervention and rising expectations.
/r/MensRights09/05/16 06:40 PM
1

Take the classes you need to gain the degree you want. Be ready to take classes that do not support your worldview. Don't feel like you have to 'correct' the professor. Just listen to them tell you what they want to hear. Then repeat it back to them. Get a good grade and move on with your life. Don't be afraid of it. Just because a class is about feminism doesn't mean that you will have to be a feminist forever after. Nothing wrong about challenging your own views/assumptions. Go in with an open…
/r/MensRights09/05/16 06:20 PM
1

Good luck. Here is what worked for me when going through a high conflict custody situation: Converse via writing/email whenever possible. Avoid discussions during visitation exchanges. Write the visitation schedule down on a calendar for the year. Each take a copy and refer to it when you make changes/commitments you make to each other. Cuts down on arguing when one parent makes plans for time they don't have. A paper journal that goes with the kids is a great way to track things like medication…
/r/MensRights04/05/16 12:55 AM
4

Sounds like you're on the right track. There has been consistent issues with enforcing agreements the two of you have made. A court order is a wise next step. You don't want this to be an ongoing fight/issue. Better to get it settled immediately. As a custodial dad I've made the same call in a similar situation.
/r/MensRights03/05/16 11:43 PM
1

Lose a fight and go to the hospital. -vs- Win a fight and go to jail.
/r/MensRights02/05/16 10:19 PM
1

No feminist anywhere would say this man doesn't deserve help and support or refuse to take up causes like this. Nationwide feminist organizations push gendered domestic violence programs via federal law. Programs that specifically treat domestic violence as a gendered issue. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duluth_model https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act it shows your incredible ignorance and lack of motivation to become informed yep
/r/MensRights02/05/16 10:14 PM
10

Is this a troll post? First half of the article is talking about how women and useless mooches, second half of the article talking about how women shouldn't complete with men as providers. Which is it? It doesn't matter in either instance. I have zero problem with women's behavior or choices. They can act however they like.
/r/MensRights01/05/16 01:59 AM
2

Judge says to a newly divorced man "You have to pay all this alimony because you couldn't have done as well without this woman backing you up at home." The man says: "You're right judge that's why my income is going to be cut in half. Now I have to maintain a house so I'll be working part-time." Judge: "You can't do that you need to make exactly the same, or I'll use an imputed income regardless!" Man: "But how am I supposed to do that, if the marriage was the only thing that enabled me to have …
/r/MensRights29/04/16 11:59 PM
1

Quick someone get those feminists a dictionary. All of them must have not read it.
/r/MensRights29/04/16 09:24 PM
3

Because the majority of the population doesn't feel the need to look into it. They hear people in positions of influence/authority say it and just assume it's true. The wage gap also intersects with peoples identity and political affiliations. Two things likely to make someone ignore contrary evidence.
/r/MensRights23/04/16 01:24 AM
1

I wish they were right. Menslib views mens issues as one where gender roles are the root cause. They view feminism as an ally because feminism is ostensibly anti-gender roles. Ergo their movement seeks to ally feminists and become feminism for men. I wish it were that simple and there was one definition of equality we could all agree on and work towards. Reality is just not that clear cut. The problem is that men and women have entirely different issues with policy solutions that are often in op…
/r/MensRights10/04/16 06:06 PM
8

There is so much I have to say about your first bullet point, but I'm going to try not to hit you with a wall of text. A 100lb woman can still hurt your kids if you don't do what she wants. She can throw a punch that will chip your teeth. She can block you off in an alley with her car and refuse to let you leave. She can wait outside your house at 2am. Abuse is about intent. Men can absolutely defend themselves, but they aren't allowed to. What do you think happens to the >200lb guy who successf…
/r/MensRights07/04/16 11:09 PM
4

One of the challenges we face in the MRM is that we are constantly put in a categorical box with people who are nothing like us. Any time some guy stands up and says something misogynist people label him an MRA "because MRAs are misogynists right?" We've seen this happen a few times when some PUA or Redpiller goes off the deep end enough to draw media attention. They are almost always referred to as 'Men's Rights' guys. Even when they are often further away from us than Feminists. My regular MRM…
/r/MensRights07/04/16 10:28 PM
2

Sounds like you have two separate issues. She isn't acknowledging a direct support payment. This is something that you will have to sort out via that courts. Present evidence that it was in fact paid etc... In the future keep better documentation. You want custody/involvement in your son's life. This will involve filing for visitation, and legal custody. My most thorough comment on that process is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/23p064/im_a_father_of_a_3_year_old_i_have_visita…
/r/MensRights04/04/16 11:11 PM
1

Fathers have no parenting rights by default. As a father you can only gain rights with the mother's permission, or by litigation (family court). Being legally the father by itself grants you no right to ever see your child. Imagine if every time a woman wanted to vote she had to get her husbands permission or win a legal battle?
/r/MensRights01/04/16 01:30 AM
11

gender norms and roles? I believe that nothing about your gender should limit your options in life. I don't believe in proscribing roles to women and men due to their sex. However I do believe men and women have different preferences on average and make different choices. I recognize that these preferences often align themselves along certain norms. Men and women can end up leading very different lives on average without any 'oppression' going on. do women exaggerate some of their problems? Wome…
/r/MensRights01/04/16 12:58 AM
2

Only two links about child custody. Is an article talking about what MRAs did to combat a sexist law in CA. Glenn Sacks is certainly no feminist. Is an article about immigration. Nothing at all about Parenting Equality, nothing about Shared Parenting presumptions etc... Nothing where feminists actually 'tackled' anything. Then they follow it up with two footnotes from actual feminists on how the bias in family courts is: Caused by the patriarcy A myth Who could honestly look at something like th…
/r/MensRights29/03/16 12:01 AM
3

The biggest one I've seen is the role of government in gender equality. On one side a clearly libertarian streak in many MRAs. They feel that government interference creates much of the inequity that men face. On the other side you have MRAs that mirror early feminists. They believe that government social programs have assisted women and now want similar programs to help men. You see this when examining programs like VAWA, Duluth Model, Alimony etc... Some MRAs will want them simply expanded to …
/r/MensRights18/03/16 12:13 AM
1

Meh there are plenty of people in this world who struggle with harder shit and manage to get by. I'm sure Subutai could have said "Invade Russia in the winter? Nah, that sounds hard." Look I have zero problem with MGTOW. There is nothing wrong with seeing which way the wind is blowing and deciding to just get out of the way. For me personally I'm just not going to. I'd rather fight for the things I want. Even if it is costly and grants few victories.
/r/MensRights14/03/16 10:48 PM
2

You couldn't have made that kind of money without your wife's support. Therefore she is entitled to a portion of what you earn. Ok judge you're completely right, which is why my income is being cut in half now that we are divorcing. You see I will no longer have her support now that we are divorced. I'll need to take a bunch of time off to handle all the things that she used to do. Nope you will make the same as you made before or we will use an imputed income and take it anyway. But how am I su…
/r/MensRights14/03/16 10:37 PM
3

Ok single parenthood is great... But why does it always have to be the mother? I understand that you had a good situation and that your father would have been a negative influence. Do you believe that is always the case? That every mother is capable and every father incapable? Of course not. Biology doesn't determine parenting ability. Yet legally fathers and mothers are treated as if it does. The support for shared parenting here is more about starting from a position that mothers and fathers a…
/r/MensRights10/03/16 02:48 AM
3

Best response I ever heard was: "If you believe in equality you're a feminist" "If you believe in god you're catholic" The problem is that to them feminism=>equality=>good. It doesn't go any further than that. They haven't matured enough to know that words like "equality" and "fairness" mean different things to different people. It's the same conflation that religious people fall victim to. My religion=good therefore you must hate good things if you don't ascribe to my belief system. Debating a …
/r/MensRights04/03/16 10:24 PM
1

Feminists will agree that women are every bit as violent as men. So long as we are talking about allowing women into combat roles in the armed forces. When talking about IPV or DV. Women are angels inherently incapable of the same class of violence as men.
/r/MensRights25/02/16 04:13 AM
2

Exactly. I could forgive a handful of flawed or questionable stats if the rest were accurate. Anyone could overlook something here or there. But almost every feminist stat is exaggerated or made up whole cloth. More importantly all their conclusions are falsified in the same direction. They always seem to miss things that disprove their conclusions. Feminist stat fabrication is becoming more brazen. I could understand someone falling for the "wage gap". But incarceration rates?! Come on! Even a …
/r/MensRights24/02/16 11:10 PM
63

Here is how they cook up these numbers: In general terms the US prison population trends look like this: 1980: Men 300k women 10k 2010: Men 1500k women 100k Feminists see this as women being disadvantaged because the rate of change was steeper for women (factor of 10) than men (factor of 5). This is how you can tell Feminism has nothing to do with equality. In thirty years the number of men increased by 1200k and the number of women increased by 90k, yet this is somehow unjust to women.
/r/MensRights24/02/16 07:51 PM
56

Love watching the woozle effect happen in real time. Linked article quote: Currently, more than 200,000 women are in prisons, and their incarceration rate is double that of men. Citation points to linkbaity AmProgress article women are now incarcerated at nearly double the rate of men in this country Which cites sentencing project where the actual source is measuring something different entirely: The number of women in prison...is increasing at nearly double the rate for men. The original is mea…
/r/MensRights24/02/16 07:42 PM
1

A parenting schedule established by a family court is ideal. Failing that, any sort of documentation from the mother agreeing that the kiddo stays with you full time. Emails, Texts etc...
/r/MensRights24/02/16 06:14 PM
2

I'm skeptical. The story reads like it was written for an audience. If someone was really going through that sort of struggle, there would be more equivocations. The OP would be talking more about why they took the actions they did, and explaining their reasoning.
/r/MensRights12/02/16 07:19 PM
18

I've never understood why feminists are anti-gun. It seems completely backwards to me. If you took away guns that means that any instance of violence is decided heavily in the favor of whoever is more physically capable. Consider the general feminist viewpoint: men are these dangerous powerful things who are supported by society in committing violence against women. They view men as categorically more violent than women. If that were actually the case, why wouldn't feminists be arming women in d…
/r/MensRights12/02/16 07:04 PM
2

Why do the majority of MRA/MRM posts on male issues focus so much on feminism instead of the issues that need to be solved? There are three general reasons you will see opposition to feminism here: Direct causes. Many of the issues men face are supported by feminist advocacy. Specifically issues surrounding divorce, child custody, and domestic violence. These are direct reasons to challenge certain areas of feminism because policies driven by feminists harm men. Feminists continue to oppose shar…
/r/MensRights12/02/16 02:11 AM
1

Many of these are more nuanced than a single reference could describe. Women who can't pay child support go to special homes. Men who can't pay child support go to prison. The claim is 'women who can't support their children' vs 'men who can't support their children'. It's a comment about the overall treatment of poor fathers vs poor mothers. A poor mother who has a child will receive custody and government assistance. A poor father who has a child will be unable to afford the court process to e…
/r/MensRights09/02/16 09:33 PM
4

Politics at that level are much more basic than you realize. Democrats win elections based on the female vote. It's the only reason Hillary has a chance, and the primary reason that Bernie will go further towards the feminist cause.
/r/MensRights06/02/16 10:05 PM
1

Ignore her for a few months. Focus on studies. Finish class. Live amazing life. In any action like this ask yourself "what is my goal here?" and "what would move me closer to my goal?" If there is an obvious way to lessen her impact, go ahead, but there is no magic combination of words that is going to make this person less of a annoyance. Think of her as that friend who is always trying to sell you on their MLM program. Best move is just to minimize interactions.
/r/MensRights04/02/16 11:43 PM
1

I thought Mens Rights movement meant men wanting the respect they used to have in the past before things got to be as they are It's about men choosing for themselves what roles and relationships they wish to take on. We support a SAHD as much as a SAHM. We are not traditionalists, but we defend anyone's right to choose their own relationship types. can you explain to me what this Roosh thing means Sorry, I'm not familiar with Roosh. AFAIK he isn't an MRA, but it's really convenient for people wh…
/r/MensRights04/02/16 11:18 PM
2

IANAL TINLA Yes fathers can file paternity suits, same as mothers can. You file a paternity suit claiming that you had a relationship with the mother during the appropriate time prior to the child's birth, and that you are seeking to establish legal paternity (i.e. put your name on the birth certificate as father). The courts will order her to cooperate with a DNA test (usually a cheek swab not a blood test). The tests come back with a confidence rating that you are/aren't the father. Using the …
/r/MensRights31/01/16 08:18 AM
3

Look I don't mean to sound cynical here, but these stories are out there because they happen. I'm just a random person on the internet. I have no expectation that I would change your opinion. Ask a few friends of yours over the age of 25. People who would be candid with you. You'll find out it is more common than you might assume.
/r/MensRights31/01/16 08:01 AM
7

What may I be legally required to do? You can be compelled to take a paternity test. Which could legally establish you as the father. Once you are legally the father you are obligated to pay child support. If she chooses not to seek child support, the state can still collect it on her behalf. Any social services she or your child use can be billed against your child support obligation. Is there anything I can do to legally protect myself if she decides to change her mind? There is no legal arran…
/r/MensRights31/01/16 07:46 AM
2

TINLA Difficult to prove damages, and even more difficult to recover anything from her. Doesn't sound like she is swimming in cash, and courts don't generally award huge judgements against people on government assistance.
/r/MensRights31/01/16 07:19 AM
6

The first time my ex got a restraining order against me. It was because I called her while I was taking our kid to the ER. He had managed to choke on a breathmint. We had joint decision making on medical issues. If I hadn't contacted her I would have been in trouble for making medical decisions without her input. There was a text message she had send weeks prior indicating she didn't want to talk to me. That was enough to get the restraining order upheld. Because I had contacted her when she exp…
/r/MensRights30/01/16 09:44 PM
3

Ah the restraining order game... Sorry to hear you are playing it. You can't really win, but you can minimize what you lose. Can they do this with no evidence of abuse ever? Yep, they hand out protection orders like popcorn. It is an exceptionally common way to shortcut the divorce process. It will take time for you to prove innocence and in the meantime she is establishing that she is the primary caregiver and the sole resident of the home. This will significantly strengthen her case in the div…
/r/MensRights30/01/16 09:02 PM
2

It was pushed by feminists under Title IX. Basically schools aren't required to afford the same protections for the accused in their process. They aren't a court of law, so they can do things like refuse right to counsel, or a right to question your accuser. Another big limitation is that colleges do not have subpoena power. So they have no means to compel the production of evidence. Here is an in depth review of the situation by KC Johnson at the George Washington Forum last year. An exceptiona…
/r/MensRights27/01/16 07:56 PM
1

I would be wary of any law enforcement interaction as a male DV victim. They will be looking to find a reason to arrest him and not get called back. An abuser would absolutely try to manipulate the police into arresting your brother. Or to put it more bluntly, she already beats him and puts scars on herself. What would stop her from telling the police the scars are from him? Here is what you need to do: 1. Get your brother committed to the idea of leaving. Likely this will be the hardest part. I…
/r/MensRights27/01/16 07:19 PM
5

Outside of adoption, there is no contract or agreement that voids your legal obligation to pay child support. Any agreement or contract to that effect wouldn't mean anything in court.
/r/MensRights25/01/16 02:19 AM
8

This is the scott adams version of the apex fallacy.
/r/MensRights19/01/16 12:35 AM
23

The "women's issues" talk: men kill and abuse women and need curfews fathers are bad parents males need to be taught not to rape Women go into gender studies rather than STEM and it's all men's fault. MRAs: Hey there that's some pretty hateful stuff your saying about men. Feminists: Privileged men don't get an opinion they are living life on easy mode. MRAs: Actually men face a number of issue such as suicide, homelessness, parenting equality etc... Feminists: Why are you derailing us from the m…
/r/MensRights14/01/16 09:01 PM
5

False equivalence. False accusations do not prevent rape. Even if one is worse than the other, it is not like we can choose between the two.
/r/MensRights12/01/16 11:07 PM
5

IMHO the problem isn't the stats. The issue is gendered policies. In every other area of gender imbalance you can see societies checking to make sure that there isn't bias: Men and women make different amounts of money on average. Lets make sure it's not due to discrimination. Men are represented more heavily in STEM fields. Lets check and make sure it's not because women are being forced out. More men are being convicted of DV. Lets setup laws to make sure we convict even more! It's literally t…
/r/MensRights12/01/16 07:40 PM
1

Odd how many people you talk to forget why campus admins handle rape cases in the first place. The assumption is that it is some sort of power grab by the university to protect their reputation and silence victims. In reality feminist advocacy pushed for campus rape claims to be handled outside of law enforcement. Primarily so things like due process wouldn't apply. When rape cases are handled by the administration, the accused suddenly doesn't have all the usual rights. Such as confronting your…
/r/MensRights12/01/16 06:12 PM
1

What you're looking for is parenting equality. The fundamental problem in family courts is that establishing paternity confers no legal rights. Only the obligation for child support. Family court is heavily weighted in favor of the custodial parent, and the custodial parent always starts off as the mother. Parenting equality is the idea that establishing paternity should grant the same rights as maternity. Joint legal and physical custody. Either side can petition the courts to prove that joint …
/r/MensRights10/01/16 05:04 PM
10

NOW still has a family court group saying the same stuff. Read their spring 2015 newsletter. They consider "father's rights groups" to be "abusers rights groups". http://now.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Family-Law-Newsletter-Spring-2015.pdf Their ongoing justification is something along the lines of: men are more likely to be abusive therefore anyone seeking to give fathers equal rights are seeking to give abusers more rights. Of course their reasoning is flawed for several reasons: The stats …
/r/MensRights09/01/16 08:40 PM
2

I've got no idea how it works in the UK. But here in the US, you are basically satan if you stop paying child support. Non-payment can lead to penalties, sanctions, arrest, imprisonment etc... Denying visitation time (aka custodial interference) is completely unpunished except in extreme cases. The right way to handle this in the US is to keep paying child support, while petitioning the courts for an injunction to prevent the move. You fight to say that the kid should stay in the town they know.…
/r/MensRights03/01/16 06:39 AM
3

First off I don't buy the brain wiring argument. I've known too many brilliant female engineers. However, I do agree that gender differences obviously exist. It's not "gender roles" that keeps women out of the NFL. There are differences on average between men and women, but the important part is that these differences should be seen as descriptive rather than prescriptive. I can agree that women are more likely to be primary caregivers and thus more likely to win custody, but I disagree that the…
/r/MensRights29/12/15 04:50 AM
10

Good god. They think DV arrests and prosecutions are biased against women. I am speechless...
/r/MensRights25/12/15 11:17 PM
2

The abortion decision is hers alone. He has zero rights to insist on it (as it should be imho). If she wants to proceed with the pregnancy, his options are to fight it out in court or simply pay whatever the court assigns for child support costs. Even if she doesn't pursue child support the state will likely pursue him anyway. That he "wanted an abortion" will have zero bearing on his obligations. If he wants to gain custody it will be an uphill battle. Fathers start with zero rights/visitation …
/r/MensRights21/12/15 08:04 PM
1

Meh. Democrats win elections based on the female vote. They have to toe that line.
/r/MensRights12/12/15 11:30 PM
1

My most detailed comment on child custody issues is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/23p064/im_a_father_of_a_3_year_old_i_have_visitation_for/cgzfk0u Understand that full custody is extremely unlikely. Converse with her in writing wherever possible.
/r/MensRights11/12/15 02:59 PM
2

Different countries have different "pay gaps". Why re-invent the wheel when we can look at what has already worked in other places in the world. https://youtu.be/BE9GQtp2LfI We don't have a gender pay gap, we have a parenting pay gap. Give fathers equal rights to be the primary caregiver of children.
/r/MensRights30/11/15 05:10 PM
2

Doesn't matter to me. They are free to have women only spaces and I am free to join a less crowded gym.
/r/MensRights23/11/15 08:30 PM
1

nobody can be "forced into" parenthood any more then anybody else can Mothers can abort or adopt without the fathers permission. Fathers have no option other than pay child support or sue for custody. since when the fuck do you have to be a "bad parent" in order to get your children kidnapped by the government There was nothing in that comment about children getting kidnapped by the government?
/r/MensRights23/11/15 03:25 PM
2

Someone called them bossy, or said hello to them on the street.
/r/MensRights23/11/15 03:20 PM
5

More evidence that you can fabricate a grievance about anything. The goal posts for equality will always move.
/r/MensRights21/11/15 05:30 PM
2

I would be careful about it but I would help the kid. I could live with defending myself from false accusations. I could never live with myself if some kid froze to death and I did nothing. I get that it sucks to be treated like that, but don't let other people's biases change you.
/r/MensRights20/11/15 03:20 AM
1

I'm not a tradcon, but I do believe there are general differences in male and female preferences. There are mounds of evidence all around us that men and women have different behaviors in a general sense. That it's not entirely a social construct. The problem is that tradcon views want to proscribe rather than describe. Saying 'many women prefer to be the primary caregiver rather than the primary breadwinner' is probably accurate. Saying 'women shall be the primary caregiver' is totally wrong. C…
/r/MensRights09/11/15 07:47 PM
3

Protect yourself first. Worry about retribution later (or never). You've had a major setback, but your life is not over. Lay low for a few years and rebuild with new people in a new place. Unfair shit happens. You can survive this.
/r/MensRights07/11/15 08:41 AM
1

You've hit the nail on the head. People assume that child support is only for guys who skip out on their families. Or that have 'lost custody' in court. Thereby rendering the fathers either bad/evil or judged as less fit parents. When that isn't what happens at all. Fathers without custody routinely get asked. "Why did the courts take away your kid? It must have been a good reason." Not realizing that for an unmarried father, courts don't have to 'take away' anything. Because you start with noth…
/r/MensRights25/10/15 03:52 PM
5

I totally understand and support the idea of career focused women. But I've always found it puzzling that college educated career women seek equally educated and career focused men. It never occurred to them that taking on the traditionally masculine provider role would mean they would have a home and family focused husband. How do you have two high powered careers that are equally important in a relationship? What happens when you have to change cities/states for that big opportunity to oversee…
/r/MensRights21/10/15 01:32 AM
6

There is no state in the union that gives unmarried fathers equal rights to their children. There are many states that loudly proclaim that gender isn't a factor in child custody decisions. Yet... Unmarried fathers start with zero rights. Custody guidelines are heavily weighted towards the child's current living situation.
/r/MensRights16/10/15 11:33 PM
1

IANAL TINLA First the good news: Louisiana has very favorable joint custody laws. They have joint custody presumptions built in. Probably in the top 10 states in regard to joint custody rules. Next the bad news: Being unmarried will slow you down a lot. The rules are very clear in regards to divorce, but there is more wiggle room when it comes to establishing legal paternity. If the mother doesn't want to. She is under no obligation to name you as the father, and no one is under any obligation t…
/r/MensRights16/10/15 11:21 PM
9

It starts off acknowledging male victims, but then goes on to say that all the problems male victims face are myths.
/r/MensRights15/10/15 11:37 PM
1

They can pick whoever they want for the default subs. They don't owe anyone equal time.
/r/MensRights12/10/15 08:24 PM
3

Of course we design policies to only catch male abusers. Look at the statstistics. They clearly show how many more men are caught.
/r/MensRights11/10/15 06:55 PM
8

Why is wanting traditional roles inherently abusive? Is a man not allowed to make his own standards for his relationships? I get that all women shouldn't be forced to stay at home and raise babies while the husband works. But I dont see how it is abusive if a man chooses to pursue that type of relationship. Whenever I see something like this I can't help but see the damaged nature of whomever created it. The unstated assumptions are that 'traditional roles' were inherently exploitative. When the…
/r/MensRights08/10/15 05:16 PM
2

What's up with all the feminism bashing? Most of the issues we want to change have feminists on the other side. Newcomers commonly see this as an obsession with trashing feminism, when it's is merely us trying to confront the arguments made against the issues we support. we can agree the majority of people identifying as feminist are probably coming from an egalitarian perspective? No one ever walks around thinking 'how can I be evil and unfair today'. However, history is replete with people who…
/r/MensRights05/10/15 07:12 PM
-8

Looks fake to me.
/r/MensRights27/09/15 10:05 PM
2

Exactly. We point at academic feminists with degrees in womens studies who have called themselves feminists for more than a decade. Or public policies adopted after being pushed for years by organizations of thousands of women who all call themselves feminists. Yet the 'dictionary definition' is the only defense they offer.
/r/MensRights26/09/15 08:46 PM
14

You're reading that as: 'I said no later, so that means you never had consent to begin with.' When it actually means: 'Just because I said yes doesn't mean I can't say stop'. Just to re-iterate. It's just saying that people can withdraw consent at any point, and that ongoing consent is required. Not that they can retroactively say consent was never given. It's important to look at the context and other legal precedents at the time. There were cases where people said 'stop' and were ignored. Cour…
/r/MensRights25/09/15 04:55 PM
1

Good luck. I recommend keeping a journal. There will be hard times ahead.
/r/MensRights15/09/15 05:54 PM
2

If you want to challenge your views, it is best to approach something stronger than various subreddits or internet comments in general. A better approach is to talk to a friend who has a different view. Someone capable of having a high quality discussion. If you can't find that, then books are another good source. Most popular movements have at least a few kernels of truth. They also have zealots who take it too far. The issue at the heart of any movement is that the most zealous tend to make it…
/r/MensRights14/09/15 06:47 PM
1

"Psychology of Women Quarterly" publishes a research paper on feminism written by feminists. I'm not shocked they reached a favorable conclusion.
/r/MensRights14/09/15 06:00 PM
3

Looks fake as hell. AVFM is worried about false accuations, and male DV victims. It isn't concerned about dating or women being unmarried at 30. Go look at the front page of AVFM. Now imagine that someone is so much of a fan of AVFM that they decide to hang up flyers. Yet they pick wording that has practically nothing to do with anything on the site? It doesn't add up at all.
/r/MensRights13/09/15 06:27 AM
0

The tooth to tail ratio has no relation to the draft. During Vietnam 90% of draftees went into the infantry.
/r/MensRights12/09/15 01:30 AM
3

There are no legal requirements on how child support is spent. Unless the kid is being neglected, there is nothing he can do. The courts will not care. The police will care even less.
/r/MensRights12/09/15 12:26 AM
-2

No women are not required to register for Selective Service, and are not eligible for the draft. This is probably the one element that I disagree with the standard MR position. I do not believe that women should be drafted. The only time we will ever see a draft again in the US is if we are in a SHTF situation. Which is not the time or place to be playing gender politics. The draft is about mobilizing a nation. Getting the largest amount of trained soldiers into the field as soon as possible. Me…
/r/MensRights11/09/15 09:14 PM
9

You've never heard of: Cisco, Google, HP, Yahoo, Facebook, Microsoft, or Reddit.
/r/MensRights11/09/15 04:59 AM
11

Because you don't get paid for FMLA time. When people are talking about maternity/paternity leave, they mean paid time off.
/r/MensRights11/09/15 03:03 AM
2

Completely wrong approach. I believe a more accurate representation of the argument against alimony goes like this: In our modern world both spouses are able to work, and neither can place a meaningful restriction on the other. Alimony made sense when one side of the relationship made all the career decisions for the entire family. Now that neither spouse holds that power it doesn't make sense to expect large ongoing alimony payments. Anyone who chooses to not work, is doing so of their own voli…
/r/MensRights07/09/15 07:29 AM
21

They must think the 'war on women' is like actual war.
/r/MensRights04/09/15 04:27 PM
7

Radfems can say whatever they want. Lets see them try to take action on it. Any bets on the effectiveness of a revolutionary army made up of SJWs and radfems?
/r/MensRights04/09/15 04:25 PM
3

My question is simply why do you guys not make this your primary talking point? It is one of our talking points, but it would be pointless to make it a primary issue. It would mean one unpopular group (MRM) leaping to the defense of an extremely unpopular group (Criminals). We wouldn't get any traction. It seems much more severe and much more immediately apparent (of how fucked up it is) than things like MGM or custody of children. Severity is difficult to judge. I expect it will be easier to co…
/r/MensRights04/09/15 07:51 AM
2

Child support is based on income.
/r/MensRights03/09/15 12:19 AM
18

They took everything from him. It's impossible to measure the damage. Arrested in 1982 and released in 2010. Went in as a family man in his 30's released as an old man with nothing. Your wife and one daughter are dead, likely other friends and family went to their graves while you were still in prison. No watching your kids grow up. Forget seeing them graduate, helping with homework, coaching the soccer team etc... No real career options. They plucked you out of your prime potential working year…
/r/MensRights03/09/15 12:17 AM
3

It is just a division of labor and specialization. It works quite well if you have a partner you can count on to treat it as a responsibility and not a permanent vacation. I know a few stay at home parents who are quite impressive.
/r/MensRights30/08/15 04:07 PM
11

I would argue that the numbers aren't entirely accurate because we do tend to give women a break when it comes to violence. Regardless the article isn't wrong about one thing. Men do commit a majority of the violent crime. The primary issue I have is the way stats like this get interpreted. It seems to say that all men should be humble because of the actions of an exceedingly small number of people. Or worse, that the 'male ego' that drove these people to kill are present in men in general. Whic…
/r/MensRights28/08/15 08:03 PM
10

I do like to talk about the wage gap from a male viewpoint, but I believe you're getting into the weeds on the statistics. The elephant in the room is: why do men choose to make more personal sacrifices in order to gain wealth/earnings? I have looked at the wage/earnings gap extensively, and the one thing that stands out is how uniformly the variables line up. Quite simply, every choice between higher income and X, men will tend to choose income. You'll commonly hear Feminists reframe the argume…
/r/MensRights28/08/15 07:28 PM
3

Feminism is an ideology not a race/religion/gender or sexual orientation. Regardless of how much feminists claim otherwise, their beliefs do not create a protected class.
/r/MensRights28/08/15 02:33 PM
3

Makes sense. Why stop there? Next we should give fathers custody by default, because women abuse children more often than men. Gendered programs should be designed to only see mothers as abusers. We should have explicitly gendered hiring for high status positions, because women are more likely to have babies and quit working. Think of the costs involved with all those women who get degrees only to immediately get married and not participate in the labor force. Really only men should be going to …
/r/MensRights25/08/15 10:23 PM
5

It is important to avoid hyperbole. There are defenses to outright paternity fraud. Unmarried fathers can insist on a paternity test prior to being named the father. A mother can't simply put anyone down on a birth certificate and start collecting. The mother is supposed to supply supporting information as part of filing a paternity suit. A paternity test is simply part of that process. When things work correctly it's supposed to look like this: Mother a files statement saying 'I had a relations…
/r/MensRights24/08/15 08:27 PM
1

The NYT source agrees with me as well. That is 3 for 3. Quoted from the NYT source Goldin American Economic Review 2014, 104(4): 1091–1119 "The gender gap in annual earnings for the JDs and MBAs, although large by year 15, is almost entirely explained by various factors, such as hours worked, time out of the labor force, and years spent in part-time employment. Small differences in time away or in hours translate into large differences in pay. (1110)" The entire point of that paper is: different…
/r/MensRights21/08/15 10:46 PM
4

You're more likely to be killed by your mother than by a mass shooter.
/r/MensRights20/08/15 04:22 PM
1

The problem we have when discussing the pay gap is there are a lot of woozles and weasel words. Commonly it will be stated like this: "There is a 22% wage gap between men and women. Even after controlling for industry, job title, and experience the gap still exists." These are two separate statements. Yet it will be repeated as if the 22% wage gap exists after accounting for common life choices, but it doesn't. A 5% gap exists after accounting for the obvious factors, but '95c on the dollar!' do…
/r/MensRights20/08/15 03:36 PM
6

Most people agree that there is a small gap generally around the 5% range and only that it is 'unexplained'. Meaning that sexism is some further fraction of that 5% number.
/r/MensRights19/08/15 11:01 PM
3

Realistically it would be a mostly blank website. Father's rights are only gained via family court proceeding or with the mother's agreement. I am not aware of any specific sites that have what you are looking for. Part of the issue is that it is difficult to give legal advice on a given civil proceeding with so many variables in the mix. When I was in your shoes it required retaining an attorney and several years in court to gain joint custody and equal parenting time. That is the best/only opt…
/r/MensRights19/08/15 05:11 PM
7

Husbands beating their wives was a thing 200 years ago so it is supposedly still relevant to modern feminism. All the benefits and privileges I supposedly have as a man inherently because some group of guys held power. Regardless if they have all been dead for decades. Yet men being abused without anywhere to turn LAST YEAR are meaningless...
/r/MensRights19/08/15 01:33 AM
1

God I hate to say this but I have to. New judges are hardly ever good news. If possible, you want to stick with the same judge over time. Edit: She's broken into your car before and has a history of DV? I don't mean to sound paranoid, but what exactly went wrong with your car on the court date?
/r/MensRights18/08/15 12:35 AM
1

IANAL TINLA It is exceptionally rare for a retroactive reduction to happen. If a court order was issued for that amount and later adjusted to reflect the correct amount, then generally you will be on the hook for the few months that accrued at the higher rate. The judge can order a reduction, but generally they won't. Yes it's bullshit, and no it's not going to change unfortunately. Anyone been here before? Yep. In my case it took me even longer, and it was only a modest reduction with a fairly …
/r/MensRights17/08/15 11:15 PM
8

Genders do not have places. Serious question: Your account is five minutes old, do you expect us to take you seriously? Your only other comment is trollish and ignorant of MR views.
/r/MensRights14/08/15 05:58 PM
1

Which means that once legal paternity is established there should be automatic shared legal and physical custody. But that is not the case. Thankfully there are a few states which presume joint legal custody once paternity is established, but they are a minority. None have automatic parenting time. I know this seems like a minor distinction, but all those 'best interests of the child' guidelines are heavily weighted towards the status quo. The parent who starts with everything tends to keep it, …
/r/MensRights14/08/15 12:53 AM
1

I agree that sometimes there is more at stake than laws. Societal attitudes matter more than laws in many cases, but I must point out that there is absolutely legal inequality between mothers and fathers. Mothers gain parenting rights at the hospital the moment the child is born. Fathers do not gain parenting rights without the mother's permission or custody filing. The family courts are generally setup to favor the status quo. Fathers must prove why their involvement is beneficial before they g…
/r/MensRights14/08/15 12:00 AM
11

Somehow I doubt the same reasoning applies to positive things. They would never claim women CEOs are only there because men "taught" them. Personal accountability only applies for the good things. Bad behavior is always someone else's fault.
/r/MensRights12/08/15 09:03 PM
3

Leftists are surprised every time a group fighting for the little guy turns into a group fighting for themselves. This doesn't make the group suddenly 'right wing'.
/r/MensRights11/08/15 03:12 PM
21

The problem with so many feminist talking points is that they generally do not lie with the statistics but with the conclusions. Men and women do earn different amounts on average. Men and women also work a different number of hours on average. You could draw the conclusion that women need to work harder, or that sexism is somehow holding women back. It's obvious why they choose the latter.
/r/MensRights10/08/15 05:06 PM
21

That was spectacular how he flipped the whole 'men can't talk about women's issues' around on the feminists once they started talking about 'teaching young boys not to be violent'.
/r/MensRights06/08/15 11:44 PM
4

Thanks, I was trying to find a way to say that diplomatically.
/r/MensRights06/08/15 10:12 PM
1

Exactly. Get three people in a room together and you will have at least four definitions of the word 'fair'. This is why shared parenting will never be pushed by feminists and why the wage gap will never be pushed by MRAs.
/r/MensRights06/08/15 09:34 PM
1

You didn't address my first paragraph. Using statistics based on the number of convictions is not a justification for maintaining a sexist approach for the process leading up to conviction. Do you think that men and women are treated equally as DV victims? Do you think men and women are prosecuted equally when they are DV perpetrators? Women are treated better than men when it comes to any form of criminal act. Why would DV be the exception? Could you possibly admit that the numbers based on fin…
/r/MensRights04/08/15 09:11 PM
1

I would argue that the 'numbers don't support it' because policies, procedures and prejudice make it more difficult for men to be seen as victims and women to be seen as perpetrators. There is a well known gap in sentencing and prosecution of men and women across all forms of crime. Women are less likely to be arrested, less likely to be prosecuted, and receive lesser sentences when convicted. Advocacy that promotes gender specific views of domestic violence reinforce this existing bias. Do you …
/r/MensRights04/08/15 05:49 PM
1

Yes. Look at the various "Action Opportunity" posts.
/r/MensRights04/08/15 03:20 AM
2

Fair enough. I withdraw my complaint about your motives. Skepticism is ok. Honestly I would not have believed it either. Even after going through it I question myself. Skipping to the bottom three, I will return to the top points later. You view the Duluth model as a program of limited scope as if it were targeting just one gender, but that isn't what it is. The crux of what you don't understand is that the Duluth model is designed with the idea that domestic violence is only a problem for one g…
/r/MensRights04/08/15 03:11 AM
1

That's great. Sounds similar to the states which do assumed joint legal custody here in the US. Then the only issue is parenting time and living arrangements.
/r/MensRights04/08/15 01:56 AM
4

They present male victims in a manner to minimize their number, while explicitly pushing a gendered approach to domestic violence which harms those same victims. Look I don't believe you are here in good faith: You started off by saying it's out of date. Then we showed you that it is current. Now you want me to line by line something that clearly advocates for gendered treatment of DV. This program supports gendered policies that further abuse and disenfranchise male victims of domestic violence…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 09:56 PM
1

It's true that restraining orders and such can be manipulated into providing that outcome, but it is important to point out that there is a large difference legally between married and unmarried fathers.
/r/MensRights03/08/15 09:19 PM
1

You should talk to a legal professional of course, but to my knowledge most countries do not grant parenting rights when establishing paternity. Only the obligation to pay child support. In my experience she contested paternity, and I had to file suit to even get on the birth certificate. Once I was legally the father, I could then file for legal custody and parenting time. Getting on the birth certificate alone gave me zero rights.
/r/MensRights03/08/15 09:16 PM
6

They erase male victims with this misleading statement. One third of female murder victims were killed by an intimate, while only three percent of male murder victims were killed by an intimate. They use this to 'justify' how public policy should treat domestic violence in a gendered manner. The crossroads quote is telling because not only do they refuse to consider women as potential perpetrators in the Duluth model (only men) but also that their women's diversion program begins with the presum…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 09:06 PM
4

I'm perfectly fine with MGTOW when it comes to getting married or starting a family, but you can't just decide that political advocacy takes precedence over caring for your child that already exists. Walk away from women/relationships because life isn't fair? Fine. Totally understand. Adult women can fend for themselves. Walk away from your kid because life isn't fair? No way in hell. You fight as hard as you can regardless of how unfair it is. Otherwise you are just letting your kid deal with t…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 08:46 PM
2

To answer your question I know that "Equality for Men" is UK based. So is "Justice for Men and Boys". http://equality4men.com/2013/10/17/get-your-copy-of-equality-for-men-ebook-today/ The two UK based MRA personalities I'm aware of are Mike Buchanan and Glen Poole. Here is an example of Glen Poole in action. On a BBC program asking "Do fathers do their fair share". https://youtu.be/BE9GQtp2LfI I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. Unfortunately unmarried fathers have effectively zero right…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 08:32 PM
2

Civility sure, but I'm not compromising.
/r/MensRights03/08/15 07:59 PM
4

This organization doesn't shape their content to male victims of domestic violence, nor do they deny male victims exist. They specifically erase male victims, and support the idea that female abusers must be defending themselves somehow. Is that a case of "tear it down"? Or a case of "let's build one of those". Tear it down. Definitely. I hope to god that no one calling themselves an MRA would ever support building something this monstrous.
/r/MensRights03/08/15 07:55 PM
3

The Duluth model is currently used by a number of states to guide their arrest, prosecution, and treatment policies. It is a specifically gendered approach. Their section on female perpetrators is telling. Even female abusers are defined as victims. The Duluth curriculum is designed for male perpetrators. In Duluth, a separate court-deferral program called Crossroads was designed for women who use illegal violence against the men who batter them (Asmus 2004). http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/Co…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 07:42 PM
7

Yep. Good old Duluth model. The power and control wheel is one of those things that they use to show how everything is abuse. I love how some of them are blatantly contradictory. "Taking her money" and "Not giving her enough money" are in the same section. To anyone who thinks these are 'out of date'. Here is the most recent addition copyright 2013. The post separation power and control wheel. http://www.theduluthmodel.org/cms/files/Using%20Children%20Wheel.pdf Saying "Children need their father…
/r/MensRights03/08/15 06:27 PM
-1

You think the proper response to poor behavior is to mirror that behavior? No thanks. Edit: Frankly I find it suspicious that you are a 2 month old account with 6 karma. Yet you're acting like you speak for the sub. Specifically with a rather dubious call to action. Bullshit like this: if we're going down, I want to take them down with us. No that's not going to happen.
/r/MensRights30/07/15 06:59 PM
3

Of course. Trying to keep it short. The detailed version of shared parenting is filled with edge cases around establishing paternity, marriage, 3rd party care, etc... All of which could be addressed differently if your starting point is equality.
/r/MensRights29/07/15 08:42 PM
9

Default to shared parenting. Specifically a legal presumption of equal parenting rights and parenting time. Either side seeking a substantial change in custody over the other parents objections must prove why.
/r/MensRights29/07/15 08:24 PM
2

It's not simply an issue of discrimination or prejudice. It is also one of legal inequality. Fathers do not get parenting rights without the mother's permission or a court's permission. Mothers receive all parenting rights at the moment of birth. While I agree with your premise, I believe you are misinformed regarding Feminism. Generally Feminism fights against equal parenting as it pertains to legal rights. Feminists encourage people to defy gender traditional gender roles right up until it inv…
/r/MensRights28/07/15 12:14 AM
2

And which gender stops violent people?
/r/MensRights27/07/15 01:42 AM
1

In practice however that never happens. Violation of court ordered visitation is basically never prosecuted against the custodial parent. It's extremely difficult to even get civil court sanctions after several violations.
/r/MensRights25/07/15 12:46 AM
2

That is the way we see it. But to anyone involved in politics the calculus is more obvious. If a kid gets killed by being sent to an abusive father. People will blame the judge or politician who supported shared parenting. If a kid gets killed by being sent to an abusive mother. People will blame the father for abandoning her. If millions of fathers just get stuck being a 'parent' four days a month while paying all their disposable income. Who would complain other than the guys paying? What make…
/r/MensRights25/07/15 12:42 AM
3

I agree that shared parenting should be the default. In my opinion equal rights and parenting time should be granted at the same time paternity is established. Any deviation should require petitioning the courts. The problem is that this is an exceptionally difficult area to advocate for. The opposition just says: 'what about issues of domestic violence?' 'We prefer the best interests of the child standard. Not what's best for the parents!' etc... The unstated assumption is that only fathers can…
/r/MensRights24/07/15 07:59 PM
3

It's because the laws are unequal. Mothers gain parenting rights automatically at the time of birth. The only way for fathers to gain rights is by court order, or by the permission of the mother. They claim it's gender neutral technically, because non-custodial vs custodial parent is never defined as mother/father. But the process creates a situation where mothers always start off as custodian. Then they have laws which make it difficult on the non-custodial parent. For instance 'The best intere…
/r/MensRights24/07/15 06:27 PM
3

Here is one piece of advice for your current conflict around CS amounts: Make sure she isn't under reporting her potential income. It's common for people who have a wealthy SO to cut their hours back or work part time to try and claim they make less money. The less she makes, the more she will take from you. If you don't challenge the low numbers on her financial affidavit, then the court will simply accept whatever number she uses. Regardless of how rich her SO is, she can't simply stop working…
/r/MensRights17/07/15 11:12 PM
5

It is ok to be civil but don't be a doormat. Never willingly compromise your ability to look out for your children's future. I've worked with a number of guys who get hosed because they give away their defenses to 'get along' with the ex. The requests get larger until they run out of things to give, then it's a fight anyway. Only now it's a fight they can't win. I hope this is coming across the right way. I'm not trying to insult you or anything. Just trying to identify why you are in a narrow b…
/r/MensRights17/07/15 10:11 PM
6

IANAL TINLA Also note that rules are different depending on the state. what can I do about the incomes? Marital status doesn't affect child support only alimony. It doesn't matter if her new SO makes millions, you will still be on the hook for CS. How do I prove his? You don't because it has no bearing on CS. Can I do anything about the partnership they have and how that effects this? Their status doesn't affect child support. Only alimony. Also the overpayment I have done, is there anyway the c…
/r/MensRights17/07/15 09:23 PM
4

There are situations where fathers will be in the same boat. Where they could use a surrogate and frozen embryos. I wonder what justification will be used when the courts decide that women can have this right yet men don't. I expect that they will look over cases like Nick Loeb in detail, find one minor difference, and hang their entire ruling around it.
/r/MensRights17/07/15 08:45 PM
1

So which is it? Feminism is fighting for men's issues, or that men don't have any issues? Your arguments don't appear consistent.
/r/MensRights17/07/15 06:26 AM
1

Feminists decided to make being a MRA anti-feminist and it will be their decision to change that. MRA's never sat down and decided to be anti-feminist. We decided to advocate for certain changes and then were labeled anti-feminist because it doesn't agree with the established narrative. I am in favor of shared parenting and parenting equality. When feminists tell me that equal parenting rights for fathers is anti-feminist who am I to argue? I am in favor of a gender neutral approach to DV. Femin…
/r/MensRights16/07/15 11:02 PM
1

I don't think they are dumb people, but they are just uneducated on the issues or ignorant... 'Smart people' fall victim to this sort of thinking just as often as 'dumb people'. It is more a matter of perspective. Intelligence or education doesn't inherently add the ability to challenge your own preconceptions. If you challenge a smart person's convictions they will simply be better at generating plausible rationalizations.
/r/MensRights16/07/15 10:50 PM
7

Sorry about your friend. A good person was removed from the earth because they were placed into a situation they couldn't handle. When you are ready, talk to friends you had in common or his family. There will be immense feelings of guilt and loss all around. Be with others who knew him and likely feel the same. The hardest part is knowing that the group of people who met him will never get any larger. Keep in contact if you want to remember him and support each other.
/r/MensRights16/07/15 08:16 PM
1

I really doubt we will be 'purged'. Over 100k subscribers and no real activity they could use as a pretext.
/r/MensRights16/07/15 03:06 PM
2

why not accept that there's a gap? Because there isn't a gap in a meaningful gender-equality sense. There is almost zero effect of discrimination on what women get paid vs men.
/r/MensRights15/07/15 03:10 PM
2

The general rule is to take a verifiable statistic, stretch it over a rationalization, then amplify its exposure by giving to people looking for reasons to justify their behavior. Men and women earn different amounts on average. (fact) This must be evidence of the patriarchy oppressing women. (rationalization) Feminism is still relevant! We need political action! It's not so much that people are making things up whole cloth. Instead they are simply using a minor difference to elevate their influ…
/r/MensRights06/07/15 06:02 AM
-17

Why? Because it is ugly and tactless. Think of the articles that talk about 'toxic masculinity' when other tradgedies strike. let's not put feefees above reality. Exactly. Don't put your obvious feelings of schadenfreude over the reality that this was a tradgedy.
/r/MensRights02/07/15 03:26 AM
-20

Regardless of her views, Burchill and her son have my condolences. On /r/Mensrights we have plenty of other things to discuss. Lets skip this one ok?
/r/MensRights02/07/15 02:16 AM
1

Wanting to talk to your kids every day is an entirely reasonable thing. Filing a protection order or harassment complaints would be an exceptional overreaction. No court in the world is going to take that seriously (unless you're female).
/r/MensRights29/06/15 05:56 PM
1

If you think you can reliably pick the best candidate out of a pool of people every time, please start a recruiting company. In your spare time write books and teach classes. Help solve the problem that businesses are spending billions trying to do better.
/r/MensRights28/06/15 01:57 PM
2

If you think you know exactly who is the 'best person' for a given position, then I would say you've never hired anyone. People don't walk in with a number over their head that shows you how well they are going to do the job. Some of my best hires were people who almost didn't get an interview, and some of my worst hires have had stellar resumes. The world is full of people who deserve a shot and don't get it. I'm not saying the process should be biased towards or against anyone. It's not as sim…
/r/MensRights28/06/15 01:46 PM
2

It's hard to change someone's mind when their views are based on beliefs rather than evidence. They will just find a means to rationalize any new evidence to fit their worldview. For example a young earth creationist confronted with dinosaur fossils will simply explain it as evidence of the devil trying to mislead us. It's not a new phenomenon. History is replete with people who started from a belief then rationalized any new evidence to fit their beliefs. Consider how convoluted the models of t…
/r/MensRights28/06/15 01:19 PM
24

There would have to be an objective standard definition of the patriarchy first. Not simply a collection of rationalizations. E.G. I can believe in evolution, but I can object to lamarckian genetics while still believing in natural selection.
/r/MensRights27/06/15 07:05 PM
5

MRAs: "Here are some legitimate issues men face" Feminists: "But MRAs are neckpill shitbeards that hate women and puppies" MRAs: "We disagree with your interpretation." Feminists: "See, he said he disagrees with feminism! You guys don't care about men you just want to attack feminism! You don't care about men! You just want women back in the kitchen!"
/r/MensRights26/06/15 12:49 AM
3

Short version: Broke dads don't get primary custody and child support is based on income.
/r/MensRights22/06/15 10:21 AM
6

Advice: Get parenting time now. Don't wait until things are perfect. If there are large obstacles that prevent you from living near your kid, your life's work is to now overcome them in the shortest possible time. Make it clear that relinquishing your rights isn't on the table. Encouragement: Getting a shared parenting situation worked out, while also sorting out all the vagaries of early adulthood; is a difficult task. It is one of those things that always seems impossible until you look back a…
/r/MensRights16/06/15 08:32 PM
7

They are a traditionalist/TRP caricature. Check the about page and judge for yourself.
/r/MensRights14/06/15 08:14 AM
1

In this instance the egg is out of her body as well. I see no reason to make a distinction between men and women when conception occurs in a lab.
/r/MensRights14/06/15 07:51 AM
1

You see it's her right to freely decide on procreation without any coercion from him. /s
/r/MensRights14/06/15 07:48 AM
6

ROK = down arrow
/r/MensRights14/06/15 07:37 AM
1

While the wage gap is commonly discussed in a misleading manner by feminists, it is still fair to ask why men and women make such divergent choices. The idea that it is broad discrimination is demonstrably false, but that doesn't mean there arent other compelling issues at play. I would turn the whole wage gap discussion around and ask why men are pushed so hard to earn at the expense of their own lives.
/r/MensRights14/06/15 12:35 AM
4

"patriachy", blaming men for the very chains that bind them
/r/MensRights12/06/15 04:19 PM
4

There are people who downvote pretty much anything on MR. Don't be discouraged.
/r/MensRights12/06/15 04:04 PM
1

We use different premises to define equality and different criteria to measure equality. Ergo we advocate for different policies. There is also the effect of the loudest voices tending to be the most extreme. A feminist premise is that societies are setup to disenfranchise women and benefit men (patriarchy). The criteria they use for equality is generally comparisons between male and female performance in a given scenario. Their policy advocacy tends to try and narrow the measured gap in a direc…
/r/MensRights11/06/15 06:08 PM
2

what exactly do you stand for? Parenting equality. Non-gendered approaches to domestic violence. Suicide prevention. Are you against the Feminist? No. I'm for the issues I mentioned. I criticize the views that are in opposition. If someone says 'women should be primary caregivers', I will disagree regardless of the label they choose. Are against LGBTQIA rights? No What about rights for POC? Minority men are at risk for many of the issues we advocate to fix. for some reason when I think of MRA I …
/r/MensRights11/06/15 04:48 AM
13

Put yourself in the shoes of someone who ardently believes the general feminist terms. That societies are designed to disenfranchise, possess and subjugate women. All of the flawed statistics confirm your views. Wage gap, 1 in 4, etc... systemic exploitation of women. The one missing piece is that there aren't enough real misogynists to justify your outlook. You've been told for years that it's a 'man's world', yet all the men you know seem to be just getting along with their lives like you are.…
/r/MensRights09/06/15 09:10 PM
2

Child support is normal for the non-custodial parent. Many people erroneously assume that child support collection and wage garnishment is only used when a parent walks out on their family. When the court really doesn't consider anything like that. If a couple splits, the mother will most likely get primary custody. The parent with primary custody will receive child support payments. Child support will be assigned via wage garnishment even if the father fully supported his family the entire time…
/r/MensRights08/06/15 10:11 PM
7

It strikes me that the police were paying more attention to the child's reaction to the 'grandmother'.
/r/MensRights05/06/15 07:27 PM
9

The rules are shitty for the working parent. The fastest way that these rules will change is when they start applying to working mothers.
/r/MensRights03/06/15 11:33 PM
23

If the mother is giving birth she gets to decide who is present or not. The courts made the right call. The second part about knowing of the babies birth is more problematic. Obviously fathers should be notified when they become fathers. Knowing of a birth and being there are vastly different things.
/r/MensRights27/05/15 10:37 PM
4

Egalitarianism will never gain momentum. The broader your scope and goals, the less likely anyone will care. Even if it somehow did gain support, I would still be an MRA. I could see myself changing 'labels', but it would be towards narrower and more specific goals, not broader ones. Just an advocate for shared parenting for example.
/r/MensRights27/05/15 07:55 PM
17

Half the comments are: "That's not feminism's fault! Real feminists support male victims! That's just more patriarchy!" The other half of comments are: "Why do you blame Feminism for not providing you with something that you men should do for yourselves!"
/r/MensRights27/05/15 01:27 AM
1

Don't waste your time. There will always be people who think they deserve more because they are part of group X and that others deserve less because they are part of group Y. The best response is to work hard, be involved in your community and have integrity. They can drown in jealousy and hate. Don't argue with them over your 'guilt' that they have manufactured.
/r/MensRights26/05/15 10:05 PM
4

They will just go up one level of indirection and start over. "You think women just chooooose to get paid less? Maybe we treat ambitious women differently! #banbossy"
/r/MensRights26/05/15 09:46 AM
0

Yeah I read that completely wrong. Sorry. Generally we field questions about fathers fighting for more custody not less. the father refuses to go to court This presumes that he has a choice. Courts can be exceptionally persuasive. They have whole teams of people who will convince you. The guy feels like he shouldn't have to pay anything or participate at all. He also thinks that by him acting that way is going to protect him from court. He is both a jackass and a fool. My advice is to go to cour…
/r/MensRights20/05/15 01:08 AM
2

You'll be fighting uphill since you were never married. An unmarried father starts from zero rights and has to fight his way upwards. The important part of going to court is to establish your rights as well as consistent parenting time. See my longer comment here: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/23p064/im_a_father_of_a_3_year_old_i_have_visitation_for/cgzfk0u
/r/MensRights20/05/15 01:01 AM
1

The parent/child relationship is paramount. You try and work out whatever you can with the mother so you get as much parenting time as possible. Hopefully both sides agree on an appropriate schedule. If she wants money as part of the deal. Just pay her off. You won't get that time with your kid back. Just make sure to follow up with the courts later and get custodial rights established. Otherwise she could swoop in later and ask for more. Also keep in mind that she could renege at any time. No a…
/r/MensRights20/05/15 12:37 AM
3

We aren't. The stories are clickbait bullshit. It's just like the ads talking about 'doctors hate him' only in long form.
/r/MensRights20/05/15 12:15 AM
2

Yet when there is a harassment complaint based almost entirely on hearsay people will immediately jump to: 'Senator X routinely had closed door meetings with his young female staffer' etc.. etc..
/r/MensRights18/05/15 06:33 PM
11

People are all for gender equality until you start talking about the bad stuff.
/r/MensRights18/05/15 05:34 PM
2

The counter arguments are numerous and obvious. My advice is not to bother. People who don't want to acknowledge truth will always latch on to the next rationalization. Imagine that you find the perfect counter argument that utterlly refutes this persons position. Do you honestly think their next step is to say "gee I have got this completely wrong, thanks for the info!" Nope they will just go up one level and start over. This kind of view is inevitable as it becomes more clear that the wage gap…
/r/MensRights18/05/15 01:40 AM
4

IANAL and you should talk to someone who is. All of the witnesses should give statements and/or record their version of events immediately. Don't let him agree to any sort of 'diversion' or other bullshit plea deal. They will tell him 'just agree to take some anger management classes and we are good no record'. Do not agree to this, it's a bullshit way to get him to plead guilty. I expect that your brother will have this charge dismissed without prejudice as soon as he retains a lawyer. Of cours…
/r/MensRights16/05/15 12:46 AM
4

Expert concern troll 10/10
/r/MensRights16/05/15 12:37 AM
3

When a male DV victim calls police there are two things that can happen to you. They find a reason to take you to jail. They don't and leave. I had a similar situation as you. With dozens of encounters where I called police. Every single one involved the police grilling me then leaving only when it was undeniable that she was the aggressor. In every case she became more brazen as she learned what she could get away with. It was extremely frustrating to endure stalking, harassment, and assault fo…
/r/MensRights15/05/15 07:12 PM
14

But that logic is flawed. Why should MRAs mirror flawed feminist arguments?
/r/MensRights13/05/15 05:23 PM
-6

Yes. National defense is everyones concern. Draftees aren't the only people at risk during wartime. You act as if wars only affect soldiers and not civilian populations. Edit: What's next? Only soldiers should vote on going to war, only firefighters should decide which fires should be fought, only police should vote on what laws get enforced, only doctors vote on what diseases to treat? This whole discussion is asinine.
/r/MensRights13/05/15 05:21 PM
1

It's fair to complain back in the day when women were only presented as pretty accessories across many types of media. No problem with trying to broaden the view of femininity. The problem is when someone demands that no one can ever be portrayed in that manner or it's offensive to all women forever. IMHO it's too easy for feminism to go down this path: Don't make all women be hyper feminine Lets have women be powerful examples and not 'just girly' Being girly is bad. If you like girly things yo…
/r/MensRights11/05/15 08:34 PM
1

Welcome. A: We could do a lot more than what we do now. My support depends on the way it is structured. B: Anyone advocating for maternity leave rather than parental leave is misguided. Regardless of what label they choose feminist or otherwise. They may be advocating on behalf of women and mothers, but the result of the policy is forcing women into childcare roles and fathers into careerist roles. Imagine that a husband and wife are deciding who will take a break from their career to stay home …
/r/MensRights11/05/15 07:50 PM
5

This article doesn't provide anything that indicates a lack of bias. Most court cases rarely go to trial. Not just for family court but all civil court cases. The citations don't provide support for the conclusion. Few cases go to trial. If both sides know what the outcome of a trial will be, that makes a pre-trial agreement more likely. Fathers spend less time with their kids after divorce. Wouldn't this indicate that they aren't winning custody? Fathers are less involved in their children's ca…
/r/MensRights11/05/15 04:51 PM
1

How many of these do men do also? There are men who do all of these and women who do none. A nuanced discussion has to go further than answering T/F to 34 questions. The thrust of the article is about the 'expense' of staying safe. The cognitive strain of vigilance. I would have a hard time saying that this is equal among men and women overall. Intuitively women spend vastly more time worrying about personal safety. I have never met a man who was worried about meeting the cable guy at his house …
/r/MensRights08/05/15 07:46 PM
2

Since there is a bias in the way men become primary parents, we should expect to find a different average parenting ability.
/r/MensRights06/05/15 08:49 PM
4

Here is a good one from the duluth model "post separation power and control wheel" http://www.theduluthmodel.org/cms/files/Using%20Children%20Wheel.pdf "Demanding visitation" = Domestic Violence "Using court action to take her money" = Domestic Violence "Witholding child support, medical, insurance and basic expense payments" = Domestic Violence
/r/MensRights04/05/15 08:52 PM
4

You aren't going to get anywhere trying to change people's beliefs. Even if they accept your evidence their criteria will just keep changing to fit. If you convince them that women work less hours and they will just make it about childcare. Convince them that women choose different jobs and they will make it about society valuing 'women's work' less. Convince them that women don't make the same sacrifices for higher wages and they will make it about socialization. No matter how much you disprove…
/r/MensRights29/04/15 12:05 AM
17

When it comes to advocacy it is counterproductive to approach such a large issue in totality. I have specific and narrow goals. Policy changes that I want to see that align with MR Advocacy.
/r/MensRights28/04/15 08:16 PM
1

Anything can be rationalized. This is why patriarchy theory 'works' in so many feminist minds. They begin with a conclusion then make the facts fit by stretching their interpretation. It's like trying to debate a creationist. If you are trying to have a reasoned debate with someone it is important to establish criteria up front. Otherwise you will go off into the weeds debating obscure interpretations of questionable statistics.
/r/MensRights24/04/15 07:39 PM
1

NOW NY opposes shared parenting NOW national conference opposes shared parenting Other feminist groups have opposed shared parenting in multiple states. SD 2014, MN 2012 are the most recent examples. Generally the view is something along the lines of "since men commit more violence, no fathers should have custody rights by default." Then they proceed to use scare tactics to say that giving fathers equal rights will mean that abusers will get custody.
/r/MensRights23/04/15 10:26 PM
5

When men earn more it's because they forced women down. When men earn less it's because they are deadbeat losers. When women earn more it's because they are 'better' than men. With a whole slew of articles about how they are physiologically better than men in modern settings. Whenever a job requires things that men are physiologically suited for, then the requirements of the job must change.
/r/MensRights23/04/15 09:54 PM
3

Spectacular. I am using this.
/r/MensRights22/04/15 05:33 AM
5

As many feminists friends I have talked to in real life say, alimony and child support are the result of a society not understanding the role of the father/disregarding the father as a caregiver/ect. The question becomes. Why do feminists oppose equal parenting rights for fathers? Why do feminists support lifetime alimony? Do feminists support the patriarchy?
/r/MensRights22/04/15 05:30 AM
3

You assume that MRA's and Feminists would have goals that aren't in opposition when that is rarely true. In principle we can both want equality, but the devil is in the details of what equality means. The definition of feminism is often a belief in gender equality. There is another matter of words vs actions. To me 'gender equality' doesn't square with decades of feminists opposing equal parenting rights for fathers. Forgive me if I don't agree with the definition presented.
/r/MensRights22/04/15 05:23 AM
3

I don't understand why MRAs and feminists, in principle, must be opposed. In principle agreement is possible perhaps. In policy disagreements are all but certain. I do not consider merging the groups to be beneficial to either one. I propose MRAs declare everyone who believes in gender equality to be MRAs, regardless if they take the label We should parrot feminist flawed arguments? For what purpose?
/r/MensRights22/04/15 04:48 AM
3

Sorry for the 'gotcha' style here. Please read this in a charitable fashion. Stop for a second and think that perhaps we might have looked into some of these things. That we have done the work to really understand the issues at play. I get that some of the other comments are more combative, I'm just trying to explain. A: Mothers do kill their children more often than fathers. About twice the rate. https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm11.pdf#page=72 Child fatalities attributed solely …
/r/MensRights18/04/15 02:28 AM
2

Without shared parenting, mothers get all parenting rights by default and fathers get no parenting rights by default. Fathers must prove their involvement is beneficial to gain custody. With shared parenting mothers and fathers start off equal and must prove that a change from equality is in the child's best interest. The only thing affected is the starting point. Shared parenting does not mean that abuse is allowed any more than before. "Section 2 of the bill amends S 70(a) of the Domestic Rela…
/r/MensRights18/04/15 01:56 AM
1

In any movement it's important to look past the 'mission and values' statements and instead look at policy advocacy. Every organization presents a generic 'we want more good and things less bad things' style vision. The real question is 'how'. How do they expect to accomplish their goals and what changes do they advocate for or against. Feminists do talk about traditionally female roles like childcare, and how women shouldn't be pressured into being stay at home mothers. They also advocate about…
/r/MensRights18/04/15 01:02 AM
1

What is feminism to me? A movement that did important work in the past, but now is struggling for relevance. In the process harming a large number of men and women. Pushing flawed narratives about the patriarchy, wage gap, rape culture, violence against women etc... Personally my main issue is shared parenting (aka father's rights). Feminists have opposed shared parenting for decades. I address the arguments feminists use to keep fathers away from their kids. We get labeled as 'anti-feminist' be…
/r/MensRights17/04/15 11:23 PM
55

Anthropologists Today: There are differences between men and women. Clearly men are worse and more suited to violence. History shows us of all the great evils of the world have been committed by men. Very few by women. Anthropologists 100 years ago: There are differences between men and women. Clearly men are better and more suited to greatness. History shows us of all the great deeds accomplished by men. Very few by women. Funny how the story changes, but the flawed argument stays the same.
/r/MensRights17/04/15 06:26 PM
2

Are you kidding? That is exactly how they are going to win. Using dishonest stats, false narratives, and divisive talking points is politics 101.
/r/MensRights13/04/15 05:18 PM
4

I am referring to the commonly cited 38% of all murdered women are killed by an intimate partner (compared with 6% of all murdered men) One of my favorites. Because it minimizes male victims of IPV using male victims of general violence.
/r/MensRights10/04/15 08:21 PM
3

The common theme is biased stats combined with heavily editorialized opinion based conclusions. I wonder what criteria would establish that men have issues to someone like this?
/r/MensRights10/04/15 06:59 PM
1

I wouldn't say that's the history of feminism. You can't really apply that standard to Susan B. Anthony or Elizabeth Stanton. Likewise if we argue against maternal preference in courts today, we have to acknowledge that there was a time that fathers always received sole custody. There could be contemporary examples that are like that. E.g. I have a difficult time believing that the lack of women in STEM is really some sort of massive discrimination campaign/boys club. Or that the pay gap is prim…
/r/MensRights10/04/15 05:32 PM
20

Feminists are only interested in men's issues to the extent that they can easily be re-purposed into women's issues. Anything else is simply deflected. Feminist theory has created a number of mental templates that preclude them from having a reasoned discussion about men's issues. They start from a standpoint of male patriarchal oppression, then make everything they find fit that narrative. When more men die in war, it just means that women are victims from losing the men in their life. When men…
/r/MensRights10/04/15 04:36 PM
6

The goalposts were moving fast enough to win the Indy 500.
/r/MensRights09/04/15 07:57 PM
1

I know :(
/r/MensRights09/04/15 01:02 AM
1

Yep. Something along the lines of using shared parenting to control kids in the same method as abusers.
/r/MensRights09/04/15 12:49 AM
2

Not going to lie. The part where they took the baby away from the mom right after birth was rough. You are made of stone if that doesn't get you.
/r/MensRights09/04/15 12:36 AM
1

how many female ceos are there? How many female homeless are there? How many female prisoners are there? War dead? Homicide victims? Suicides?
/r/MensRights09/04/15 12:16 AM
1

DV: If we have a gendered process for dealing with domestic violence, how would we ever know where the real numbers are? Treating DV as a gendered issue is the opposite of what we should be promoting. We need to tell men it's ok to ask for help from the legal system, and we need to have a legal system that is ready to see men as something other than a perpetrator. Child Custody: Mothers and Fathers do not have equal parenting rights. Why would we expect equal outcomes when laws are unequal? Moth…
/r/MensRights09/04/15 12:12 AM
6

There is no percentage of false accusations that makes due process unnecessary. Don't play their game. Don't let them mix stats with moral values. Prosecuting the guilty is not the same to protecting the innocent. Putting a rapist in jail is a good thing but it doesn't undo the crime. Prosecuting an innocent person creates a victim where one didn't exist before.
/r/MensRights06/04/15 05:13 PM
1

I would encourage him to get a DNA test anyway, but it won't affect anything financially. No court in the world is going to award him any sort of damages or recovery. Legal paternity and biological paternity are different things. He was legally the father for all those years and was responsible for support. A DNA test is a decent defense against being named the legal father initially, but it won't affect much retroactively if he acknowledged paternity. There is no law against paternity fraud. Th…
/r/MensRights03/04/15 10:58 PM
16

Something I learned a long time ago. Be wary of situations where rules are both pervasive and nebulous. They will be applied based on favoritism or some other form of prejudice. The ever expanding definition of 'abuse' is a good example. It's extremely convenient to our societal biases to have fluid definitions here. A wife can be told that she is a victim because the husband yelled at her for spending their rent money (controlling monetary resources too ✔) Conversely a man can still be told he …
/r/MensRights01/04/15 11:37 PM
4

We will never make positive changes with a broad focus. Effective activist groups always start with a narrow focus on their strongest argument. Let history guide us on this. The original Feminists weren't arguing about manspreading, wage gap, male gaze etc... etc... They were simply fighting for one airtight issue. Voting rights. The original civil rights activists were abolitionists. Even contemporary groups fighting for prison reform tend to focus on narrow issues like eliminating capital puni…
/r/MensRights30/03/15 06:21 PM
0

The next step for the MRM is to be co-opted for a fringe political group? Why? The MRM is already on the edge of relevance. One fringe group joining another just means irrelevance squared.
/r/MensRights30/03/15 05:27 PM
3

People have this idea in their heads that it's all about the 'best interest of the child'. Where the judge carefully weighs each parents abilities and track record. Then makes a wise solomonesque style decision about who is the fit parent. In the real world. Mothers start with 100% of everything and fathers have to justify why changing that situation is better for the child. In many states the 'existing living situation' is given a strong weight as better for children. Starting with everything i…
/r/MensRights27/03/15 06:39 PM
3

The main issue with family courts. Mothers are granted parenting rights by default. Fathers aren't. Fathers must petition the courts to gain rights. Mothers have rights by being on the birth certificate. Fathers must construct their rights via court order or marriage. The problem your acquaintance is a common one. Many fathers will co-parent and cohabitate with the mother for years. Assuming they have legal parenting rights because they are on the birth certificate as father. Until the mother le…
/r/MensRights27/03/15 05:46 PM
17

The comments are maddening. Depicting Murphy as bullying and silencing the 'victims' of his harassment. Or claiming that he is overreacting by filing a lawsuit. Don't these idiots understand that harassment and bullying can mean 'spreading lies about someone to hurt them and their standing in the community'?
/r/MensRights25/03/15 10:18 PM
5

Avoid all contact. Preferably in a verifiable way. He shouldn't just stay home alone. In fact he shouldn't stay in that house at all. Assuming she still has access to that home and knows where he is. Any interactions should be recorded and in each case he should be doing the maximum possible to leave the situation. Don't let pride even enter into the equation, run away if you have too. Even if you aren't afraid of her, be afraid of the fact that she can put you in jail for years just by being ar…
/r/MensRights17/03/15 06:05 AM
6

You never arrive at a fair world by adding more unfairness. How many women were saved because her Father lost custody? None. Treating equality as something you apply to a class of people rather than individuals is the root of the issue.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 07:26 PM
0

Conservatives and liberals are two sides of the male disposability coin. Both sides only see different versions of men's obligations to women. To me this is the defining reason behind the MR movement.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 04:32 AM
10

In dozens of interactions with police in regards to IPV, here is what I've learned: They often don't know or care who called. All they see is a DV report and they go all Duluth model. They will show up and separate you. They will talk to her first to anchor the story, then they will make you explain yourself. Even if you have injuries it will simply be explained away as if you provoked her or that they are simply evidence that she had to defend herself. Regular cops aren't detectives. They aren'…
/r/MensRights07/03/15 01:03 AM
2

He failed what specifically? 'I went to court and failed.' Isn't how it works. A family court case is a series of mediations, hearings, depositions, trial in some cases etc... At the end of which it is exceptionally rare to end up with nothing. No lawyer is going to take you through trial for $1600 add at least one zero.
/r/MensRights03/03/15 09:18 PM
2

Attorneys are helpful, but people overestimate their impact. An attorney is basically an interpreter that speaks court language. At best an advisor. You don't just hire an attorney then it all is magically fixed. You still have to take an active role in the case or nothing changes except your wallet gets lighter from paying the attorney.
/r/MensRights03/03/15 09:04 PM
2

There isn't enough information to provide any sort of meaningful advice. Was paternity established? Is there an existing parenting plan that the ex isn't adhering to? Or is there no visitation plan at all? How is there child support if he hasn't already gone to family court? How was there no visitation established if he went to family court? Setting up a fundraiser for a family court attorney will never get the kind of money you really need unless you have some exceptionally generous friends (20…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 08:59 PM
10

Don't worry the definition will simply be changed until it's only men's fault again. Feminist: 'Women can't be bad because they don't have power!' MR: 'but they do have power?' Feminist: 'Well not a majority of power!' MR: 'ok so if they did have the majoirty of the power then only women could be sexist?' Feminist: 'err... ummm history... oppression... rape... gotta be something here I can use.'
/r/MensRights03/03/15 08:27 PM
3

Completely disagree. You're basically making the abstinence argument. "Nothing is 100% safe. so just don't do anything!" Education about the risks and how to manage them is a much better policy. A few hours of education and people can vastly improve their electronic security. Pay attention to permissions. Don't just install whatever apps on your phone or computer. Use secure means of transmission and storage. Know what applications are being used. Don't share data with other people who have lowe…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 08:12 PM
37

Wikipedia is a lost cause. We even had a guest from wikipedia visit this sub and basically say 'We allow feminists to edit all the gender equality pages because they have the current social consensus on gender issues.' All the usual crap. Feminists crush opposing groups and spread false narratives then claim we are some kind of powerful oppressive group of trolls when we issue corrections. Feminists are supported because they have 'consensus' and MRAs banned because they are 'brigading'.
/r/MensRights26/02/15 10:37 PM
7

OP asked for specific advice to starting DV services for men. Why bother getting into the weeds over a label?
/r/MensRights26/02/15 10:30 PM
1

An abusive woman saying the right things can get an ex boyfriend hassled by the police or thrown in jail easily. People always talk about how abusive men can be hide it or be manipulative. They show the neighbors, friends, family who all say 'I can't believe he was like that!'. An abusive woman with that same manipulative ability can have law enforcement hassle you at a whim and ruin your career or educational prospects. Not to mention have everyone believing that you are secretly a monster. Spe…
/r/MensRights25/02/15 12:31 AM
13

Firstly establish that abuse is about intent rather than physical presence. Teach them to be observant of warning flags. Isolation, jealousy, shaming, controlling etc... The hardest part about guys that age is piercing the attitude of invincibility. It may be best to start small. Has a girl ever gone through your phone or computer without asking? Has an ex threatened you? Has a obsessive woman stolen your clothes or things? etc... Establish that people who care about you won't ask you to give up…
/r/MensRights24/02/15 07:46 PM
2

What is there to refute? Subconscious bias exists. The way he put 'racism without racists' makes sense to me, as does 'misogyny without misogynists'. My only gripe is that the article is one sided. He just left out any situations where men are the victims of bias. It's not an MRM position that racism and misogyny doesn't exist. Simply that misandry exists as well.
/r/MensRights23/02/15 07:57 PM
17

Fathers have zero rights to their children inherently. Yet a men's right's org should be concerned primarily about deadbeats? Like what was that person's expectation? Rights movements aren't enforcement arms of the state. It's like going to feminism and saying 'You're all about women having careers but what about women who abandon their kids huh?, why not do something about that!'
/r/MensRights23/02/15 06:21 AM
1

You aren't wrong or evil for expecting your ex to adhere to the court order. Your current visitation schedule is the bare minimum already. It sounds like the ex is giving you the options of cut off contact voluntarily or cut off contact by her decision. Absent some major justification, I can't imagine a court ever agreeing with your ex to reduce the time further. If anything, you could probably increase it. Sounds like something that could be worked out in court backed open mediation. Her demand…
/r/MensRights23/02/15 12:58 AM
2

I guess don't see the contradiction. In both cases the MRM feels like the standard for men and women should be the same. I.E. That we shouldn't judge genders based on their statistical averages. A contradiction would be assuming that men are inherently better at violence while claiming that women are equally ready to be in the military and police.
/r/MensRights22/02/15 11:40 PM
6

That is true that the laws are neutral when considered in a vacuum. Most states simply run a formula with both parents income and parenting time. There is no adjustment for mothers or fathers. However there is a large bias towards granting mothers more parenting time. Only mothers have parenting rights upon birth. Fathers can only gain rights through the mother's agreement or litigation. The rules today result in the following 'child support is determined by parenting time not gender. Mothers ge…
/r/MensRights20/02/15 07:24 PM
3

The laws on the books are equal when it comes to child support calculations. It's important to acknowledge that no state directly discriminates under the law when it comes to calculating child support amounts. I.E. no state has rules that say mother's pay less or that fathers pay more. Most states simply take a formula of parenting time and a percentage of both incomes. This part is agnostic to the sex of both parties. The one area of common bias in child support is the idea of imputed income. A…
/r/MensRights20/02/15 07:07 PM
2

It also assumes that an abusive ex working the system is a unique risk to mothers. If a slanted court system is necessary to protect mothers from abusive fathers, what protects fathers from abusive mothers? I can't believe we even have to debate a citation that uses the terms 'men' and 'abusers' interchangeably. Could the bigotry be any more clear?
/r/MensRights17/02/15 09:49 PM
1

I've looked at the raw stats. Fathers are less likely to be awarded child support, less likely to be paid any child support, and less likely to be paid in full. Additionally the amount awarded is lower on average (paid or not). I think we need to be careful not to overreach. If we are looking for truth first and confirmation second, we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room. If there is a bias in family court, that means that only the worst mothers lose custody and relatively good fathers …
/r/MensRights17/02/15 09:32 PM
1

-7. Even when you do win the court ordered visitation could be routinely ignored without consequence. Custodial interference is effectively not a criminal issue in most states. What happens after you win in court and the mother keeps your kid anyway? The police have no obligation to show up and enforce your court order. The police will tell you to go back to court and the judge will tell you that enforcement is for the police to handle. Court sanctions for custodial interference are rare.
/r/MensRights17/02/15 08:34 PM
5

It's important to consider the current status quo. Mothers gain legal and physical custody at the hospital when the child is born. Effectively all parental rights. The only way that a mother loses these rights is by an outside party proving her unfit. Fathers gain nothing upon establishing legal paternity except for the obligation to pay child support. Zero legal custodial rights. Zero parenting time. The only way that a father gains rights is by the mother's permission or by pursing expensive l…
/r/MensRights17/02/15 07:47 PM
3

maybe 90/10 yes/no for women, and 25/75 yes/no for men. So, essentially, women voted for male conscription. I find such a marked split highly unlikely. It's exceptionally rare for votes to be split that sharply along gender lines for anything. You'll need vastly better evidence to support your 'bet'. I'm not even sure women should have been eligible to vote for this issue...since the law only effects men, they should have been the ones deciding. Everyone in a nation is affected by national defen…
/r/MensRights09/02/15 11:48 PM
3

Would it be great if some super powerful person just swooped in and changed the world for us? Yes, but waiting for that to happen is naive and lazy. Expecting that someone else will 'just fix it' removes our responsibility and power to change the popular view. That's why I think this particular criticism is misplaced. President Obama has the same opinion on this issue as a majority of Americans. Any future president's opinion will change at the same rate that societies opinion changes. Incidenta…
/r/MensRights09/02/15 09:37 PM
19

Politicians do not create popular values. Politicians are a reflection of popular values.
/r/MensRights09/02/15 08:01 PM
1

Feminist, MRA, Conservative, Liberal, Democrat, Republican. Forget it all. Talk about the issues rather than the labels.
/r/MensRights08/02/15 02:31 AM
7

You want to have an earnest and straightforward discussion with someone who has been playing you from day 1? This person has lied to you with every word. Insist on a paternity test. Do not acknowledge paternity or agree to support without one. Once paternity is established fight for your own parenting rights.
/r/MensRights07/02/15 01:43 AM
1

No one here is pro-rape. In the story you described Sarah was raped, and it's unlikely she will find justice. Yes it's bad when rape victims don't get justice, but it's worse when accusations without evidence can land people in jail. You seem to want to put this whole thing inside of a true/false box. When the real world isn't like that. Justice is not guaranteed.
/r/MensRights04/02/15 08:17 PM
1

There is an area between absolute belief and disbelief that you aren't acknowledging.
/r/MensRights04/02/15 07:36 PM
5

He used more than equal force against her. Responding with equal force doesn't mean that you literally have to mirror the attackers actions. Simply that the response has to be in a similar scope. I.E. She was using non-lethal force and no weapons. He was using non-lethal force with no weapons. She was advancing, he was retreating. She was making threats, he was asking her to stop. She was striking him to continue the attack, he was simply trying to stop her ongoing assault. This meets almost any…
/r/MensRights02/02/15 07:13 PM
3

You should see the MRAs we get in feminist spaces. Understand that there are a large number of false flag accounts that troll Reddit regularly. The 'MRAs' that you speak of might be the equivalent of the 'berta lovejoy' style accounts. http://redditlog.com/snapshots/621713 every feminist thinks that anyone that isn't 100% capable of toeing the feminist line is an MRA troll MR says: "Male due process rights shouldn't disappear simply because of a rape or domestic violence accusation. Perhaps one …
/r/MensRights31/01/15 06:17 PM
1

Paternal Parental fixed
/r/MensRights31/01/15 03:31 PM
4

I have seen some people advocate for that stance (matriarchy) on here It's possible someone has, but that is clearly not the overall theme. I can't even imagine any of the big names endorsing something like that. Contrast with patriarchy theory being the rock on which feminism is built. a natural reflection of gender dimorphism A rational view is to recognize that men and women may have diverging preferences. The important part is that you can't use statistical references as a prior indicator fo…
/r/MensRights30/01/15 06:25 PM
22

Very apt take on the issue. The only thing I dislike is his characterization of the MRM. I'd say the vast majority of MRAs align closely to his stance. Basically that: Advocating for men doesn't require denigrating the rights of women. Men face different issues than women when dealing with gender roles. But he characterizes the MRM as if we somehow are the mirror image of feminism believing in some form of matriarchy where women oppress men. I have no issue acknowledging the dominance of men in …
/r/MensRights30/01/15 05:59 PM
6

LPS should also be an option for mothers. There are many fathers out there willing to do it on their own, and there are abortions that occur because the mother is worried about paying child support. Edit: Two comments now equating adoption with LPS. There are fathers out there who want to be dads. Claiming that a mother can escape a child support obligation via adoption isn't the same as allowing mothers a secure way to surrender parental rights and obligations to the father. LPS isn't simply ab…
/r/MensRights30/01/15 05:46 PM
1

Then why aren't you egalitarians? Why use the term MRAs. We advocate for specific issues facing men because groups with a narrow focus are more successful. There are specific issues affecting men that we want to change/fix. You could ask this same question of any group. Why not fight for women too? Why not kids? Why not elderly? Why not LGBT? Why not ethnicity? Why not class? etc... etc... Until you end up with an amorphous group called 'good things' which is for "good things for all people (and…
/r/MensRights27/01/15 10:55 PM
-2

The republican party was mostly responsible for passing that amendment. Anyone who says they support feminism for that reason should also vote republican. Susan B Anthony claimed that all women should vote republican.
/r/MensRights27/01/15 12:47 AM
2

That's the thing though. 'Talia' will get into the weeds arguing with the flippant responses. Making appeals to tone, and 'arguing about the argument'. But nothing here. God forbid a feminist acknowledge that an abused man has literally zero options. That the law is a shield to protect women and a sword to attack men. There are thousands of men like /u/kill_your_ego and Talia will only use that as an excuse to write us off as people who fell through the cracks or were sad exceptions to the rule.…
/r/MensRights27/01/15 12:37 AM
1

Every feminist I know just wants equal rights. What does equal rights mean to you though? Feminists and MRAs both want equality we simply define equality differently. To me working 20% more hours and making 20% more money is fair. To many feminists it's a 'wage gap'. How about Shared Parenting initiatives? Feminists have opposed shared parenting in several states and at a national level. I don't understand how a movement founded in gender equality continues to oppose seeing fathers as legally ca…
/r/MensRights27/01/15 12:21 AM
2

In fact, it's actually something that happens frequently. Mothers receive full custody of children by default. Fathers receive zero parenting rights by default. A father must seek parenting rights from the mother or from the courts. Because some fathers eventually win it does not mean it's remotely equal. Fathers are vastly less likely to gain full custody, less likely to receive a child support order when they do gain full custody, and less like to be paid child support when it is ordered. For …
/r/MensRights26/01/15 11:29 PM
6

Is it the fear of accidentally knocking a girl up Wouldn't you be more cautious if men gained custody by default instead of women? are you afraid that she'll cry domestic violence or something? It's more than simply false accusations. You've side-stepped the idea that a woman can be abusive. Imagine that police, courts, friends, co-workers, and even family thought it was impossible for a man to ever hit a woman. From the time you were a child there were commercials, posters, seminars, training, …
/r/MensRights26/01/15 10:30 PM
2

Not subscribed. Most of us are here to talk about things like shared parenting initiatives, male victims of IPV, and debunk the stats commonly used to malign men. We aren't here looking for dating advice.
/r/MensRights26/01/15 10:12 PM
2

It compares absolute numbers when the source population is wildly different: There are ~2million people in the military. There are ~200million women in the country. Normalized the rates are 5 women per 100k per year, and 29 military members per 100k per year. There would probably be a greater difference if you limited it only to people who were deployed or active duty. At a minimum their conclusions are off by a factor of six.
/r/MensRights26/01/15 08:21 PM
2

The bill was not defective. The ALCU article you linked is profoundly misleading. Measure 6 did not remove the best interest standard and it did not remove the courts ability to decide for unequal custody. Simply that the courts must be presented clear and convincing evidence to support unequal custody and a starting point of assuming both parents are fit and deserving. If providing evidence the change custody is an undue burden, then are only fathers expected to meet that burden currently? I ha…
/r/MensRights23/01/15 07:39 PM
2

The ALCU supports gender equality until it covers something unpopular. Like treating fathers as equal parents.
/r/MensRights23/01/15 06:20 AM
2

That bill is not what you seem to think it is. If the bill had passed, fathers and mothers would both be considered fit parents unless clear and convincing evidence proves otherwise. Without passage only mothers are given custody by default and not fathers. In case you weren't aware. In most states legal fatherhood confers no parental rights. Fathers can only gain rights with the mother's permission or by judgement of family court. Mothers require neither. it takes away the courts ability to det…
/r/MensRights23/01/15 06:11 AM
2

Most states take into account comparative incomes. If one side make more, then they pay. Even with equal custody.
/r/MensRights15/01/15 11:42 PM
1

In many states it is possible to pay child support even with a majority of the visitation. For instance if visitation is split 70/30, and income is 90/10.
/r/MensRights15/01/15 11:40 PM
2

People using biased results to justify biased policies. "We should treat men as more suspect than women, prosecute them more often, and send them to jail for longer. Why? Because men are more violent. It's obvious, just look at how many men are in jail." They would have no problem seeing this if the standard was applied positively to men. "We should treat men as more capable, promote them more often, send them to college more. Why? Because men are more productive, just look at how many men are C…
/r/MensRights13/01/15 11:35 PM
1

First off realize that you have no requirement to change anyone's mind. Nor will they want you to. There is no reason to expect everyone in your life be an MRA. Don't feel like you should hide your opinions, but also doesn't go around proselytizing. Recognize that people generally don't want their assumptions challenged. Secondly, if someone does want to talk, avoid labels. Friendship ending arguments only occur when people are talking past each other. Where both sides are arguing with their ima…
/r/MensRights09/01/15 05:01 PM
1

One is measuring crime from a law enforcement perspective. The other is measuring overall prevalence. Both statements can be true i.e. BJS says more men are convicted for IPV PASK says women and men commit IPV equally But in order for both to be true there would need to be a large bias in the arrest and prosecution of men vs women.
/r/MensRights05/01/15 09:12 PM
13

When a feminist talks about women in the armed forces it's: "Women can be violent killers just like men!" When a feminist talks about women committing domestic violence it's: "That's impossible men are so much bigger/stronger/more violent etc..." It is considered misogynist to think that women are as violent as men, yet also misogynist to think that they aren't.
/r/MensRights05/01/15 08:46 PM
11

When girls score better subjectively it's because they are smarter. When boys score better objectively it's because girls are more conscientious. "Don't lie with the statistics, lie with the conclusions."
/r/MensRights05/01/15 08:27 PM
2

redditor for 44mins.
/r/MensRights02/01/15 07:22 PM
2

Why argue from a flawed perspective to begin with? It's entirely likely that more guilty go free than innocents prosecuted, but that is true for most crimes. Precisely because protecting the innocent is more important the prosecuting the guilty.
/r/MensRights19/12/14 09:17 PM
4

Clearly anything bad is a right wing tactic. A left wing group that does something bad simply becomes right wing instantaneously.
/r/MensRights16/12/14 11:23 PM
5

Excellent write up and I agree completely. In my situation the mother tried to claim I was never around and only seeking custody to avoid child support. The paperwork was my saving grace. In custody cases mothers are assumed to be good parents, and fathers must prove it. I can go on, but you get the idea. Be aware of how you look on paper. Good fathers are often not very present "on paper" in their children's lives. Watch your paper trail. You might be sitting right there when your baby gets his…
/r/MensRights15/12/14 10:32 PM
5

When a father doesn't get custody, it isn't the mother somehow holding him in thrall. Women don't oppress him, the unfair system is what oppresses him. If a male survivor of DV seeks help and is referred to anger management instead, it's not women as a whole who've oppressed him it is societies expectations of men and women. Women face unique challenges because they are women, but I would not agree with what you've stated for either gender. I do not think women oppress men or that men oppress wo…
/r/MensRights12/12/14 01:03 AM
1

That's great! Sorry I didn't acknowledge your agreement in my initial reply. I was simply trying to illuminate it further. We don't have anything to argue about.
/r/MensRights11/12/14 11:36 PM
5

Mothers and fathers should automatically get joint custody and equal parenting time once paternity is established. Yet there is no state in the union where this is true. F.Y.I There are no mainstream feminist organizations that support shared parenting and many who actively oppose it. Citing concerns for how it limits the rights of women and mothers. Yet most individual feminists I talk to support shared parenting. Not sure why there is a mismatch.
/r/MensRights11/12/14 11:09 PM
6

Common false feminist claims: The wage gap. Family courts aren't biased against fathers. Domestic Violence is a gendered issue. Overall this narrative that women are 'at risk' from men. Or that we need to 'teach men to be better'. For every man who kills his partner, there are 20 men who kill themselves.
/r/MensRights11/12/14 10:45 PM
4

All I do is show up and say 'fathers should have equal parenting rights'. Then argue with whoever opposes that idea. 90% of the time that person calls themselves a feminist. To an outsider it may seem I'm 'fighting feminism', but to me I'm simply correcting people with bigoted opinions regardless of the label they choose otherwise. The problem is that people use popular groups as a shield to get away with their bigotry. Our opponents want to put us in box that says 'opposes feminism' as if we do…
/r/MensRights11/12/14 10:23 PM
1

This attitude of 'we are just trying to ensure student safety blah blah....' Completely ignores that this universities actions were a direct threat to the safety of their students. Just going to add a couple footnotes on this quote: University remains first and foremost concerned with the care and support of our students and, especially, any survivor of sexual assault[1]. Our students, their safety, and their wellbeing, remain our top priority[2]. Survivors of false accusations can get bent. Exc…
/r/MensRights07/12/14 10:51 AM
4

Because raising kids is thankless grunt work. While filling out TPS reports is existentially fulfilling.
/r/MensRights21/11/14 04:46 PM
1

Enforcement of an inherent right is not equivalent to petitioning to establish rights.
/r/MensRights09/11/14 01:30 AM
1

Unmarried fathers must proactively establish parenting rights via the courts. The default state is zero legal and physical custody.
/r/MensRights08/11/14 07:58 PM
1

I've agreed several times. I've simply been answering your questions. If you think we are in opposition I'm not sure why. Re read my comments assuming that I'm simply explaining how it works. An explanitory tone rather than confrontational. Unmarried fatherhood is a series of individually fair steps can still act as an unfair system.
/r/MensRights08/11/14 07:54 PM
1

That is already the case. The obligation to pay child support is automatic upon establishing paternity. That is the only automatic legal assumption. The obligation is also retroactive to the birth of the child.
/r/MensRights08/11/14 07:45 PM
1

I've acknowledged several times that the issue is after establishing paternity, and that OPs post doesn't consider this. Individually this isn't a big deal that putative fathers don't have rights until legal paternity is established. It's that a father does not gain any legal or custodial rights upon establishing paternity, and the court guidelines create a situation strongly biased towards whoever has had custody in the past. Thereby making it an uphill battle for fathers to gain equal access a…
/r/MensRights08/11/14 04:25 PM
3

Yes, but there are no parenting rights associated with establishing paternity. You can file with the courts to gain rights, but you have zero by default. The only thing that establishing paternity does is give you standing to petition for parenting time and legal decision making authority.
/r/MensRights08/11/14 12:57 AM
2

The best interests of the child standard. The guideline commonly used by family courts. Is generally weighted heavily by the child's 'existing situation'. Or existing relationship with both parents. Mothers get custody by default, then the guidelines strongly consider the existing situation as best. This is also how kids are adopted away before willing fathers have the rights established to contest it. Since unmarried fathers do not have parenting rights, they can't contest the adoption proceedi…
/r/MensRights08/11/14 12:53 AM
3

A presumption of equal physical custody and legal custody upon establishing paternity. As soon as the state knows who the parents are, there shouldn't be any delay in providing equal rights. A father should not have to argue affirmatively for their parenting rights.
/r/MensRights08/11/14 12:19 AM
3

What rights does a father gain upon establishing paternity? Joint legal custody? Visitation?
/r/MensRights07/11/14 10:01 PM
2

It uses the term 'putative father' which generally means before legal paternity is established. You're right that individually this doesn't appear outrage worthy, but you don't understand the impact this has later. The problem is that all paternal rights must be constructed. It's difficult to explain this to people who haven't gone through it. Since the default state is mothers have all rights and fathers have zero. All father's rights must be constructively built in family court. Putting the on…
/r/MensRights07/11/14 09:45 PM
17

In Arizona an unmarried father has zero rights until they are granted by the courts via court order. Establishing legal paternity does not give a father legal custody or visitation time.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 09:22 PM
2

The problem is that subsequently all of a father's rights must be constructed under the standard that presumes the status quo is ideal.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 08:45 PM
2

Of course. If paternity isn't established then there isn't a father legally. The problem is what happens after you establish paternity.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 08:36 PM
3

What you are describing is establishing paternity. There are a number of rules around this, but in general establishing legal paternity confers no legal custody or visitation rights. Only the obligation to pay child support.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 07:05 PM
24

Many women just suck. It is the state that doesn't recognize the right of a father to his children unless the mother says it's ok. The problem isn't that women make the wrong decisions, or family court judges make the wrong decisions. It's that they shouldn't be deciding in the first place. Fathers should have inherent parenting rights upon establishing paternity.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 06:58 PM
45

A mother receives legal parenting rights by default. Fathers aren't given anything other than an obligation to pay child support. Glenn Poole puts it very succinctly here: http://youtu.be/LDO6tv79ApI?t=3m30s Specific to the UK but it's similar in other nations.
/r/MensRights07/11/14 04:48 PM
2

Why didn't she tell him she was considering adoption? Because that would have given him time to contest it. Subsequently would have handed him full custody on a silver platter. If the child is adopted then the mother has no further obligation. If the father gains full custody, then she would be liable for child support.
/r/MensRights06/11/14 09:00 PM
3

The father in the article missed only one of the four sections within the 'allotted timeframe'. The timeframe is defined as 'before the child is turned over to the adoptive parents'. The child was adopted within three days of birth. Approved by the same court that knew he was seeking custody. This is nothing less than state sanctioned kidnapping.
/r/MensRights06/11/14 08:44 PM
3

Fathers must 'apply' for parenting rights. Here is what a Utah father must do to prevent losing his child forever. Under our Adoption Act, the consent of an unmarried bio-logical father is not generally required for the adoption of a child who is six months of age or less at the time of placement. See UTAH CODE § 78B-6-121(3). Yet the statute prescribes an important exception to the general rule. An unmarried biological father‘s consent is required if, before the time the mother executes consent…
/r/MensRights06/11/14 08:31 PM
3

Looking at the judgement is sickening. He filed custody paperwork with the courts before the child was born. He also registered on the putative father registry. The only paperwork he missed was informing the putative father registry that he was pursuing custody. He offered to pay birth expenses. No one mentioned adoption until the kid was already turned over to the adopted parents. Then they turned around and told him he didn't file enough paperwork within the proper 'timeframe'. I.e. in additio…
/r/MensRights06/11/14 04:17 PM
5

I agree with the overall sentiment. But it takes time to produce quality content. Sites/structures like reddit encourage popcorn style posts. Why spend weeks producing something like Baumeister's essay when making a meme takes minutes and gets just as much attention? I would like to have more meaty submissions with analysis of facts and social values, but that's not what reddit is. I haven't made any meaningful submissions either, so who am I to cast blame?
/r/MensRights05/11/14 09:19 PM
1

IANAL TINLA What else happens in there? Generally they will assign child support as well as interest and penalties. Probably garnishing wages if you are employed. I have no custody, no visitation, and do not want any. I encourage you to reconsider this view. Regardless of your opinion of the mother. That is still your child. Don't let your fatherhood be defined by what the mother wants. How will they determine a dollar amount for support? It varies by state, but it is generally based on both par…
/r/MensRights05/11/14 09:01 PM
13

I have been through a custody battle as have many other men I know personally. Precisely zero 'didn't want' to see their kids. Most fathers don't want their children full time or at all that's why it's so high. I've encountered this attitude as well. How about we give equal rights to fathers first then see where the numbers end up.
/r/MensRights05/11/14 12:36 AM
2

I found it funny. The last scene specifically. I'm comfortable addressing feminism at it's strengths. I don't need to prove that the radicals are in charge, or that supposedly 'straw feminists' exist.
/r/MensRights04/11/14 04:11 PM
1

First off infidelity doesn't factor into child custody. Make sure to keep whatever happened between the two of you separate from your individual relationships with your son. Custody is also split among two areas. Legal custody (the ability to make decision as legal guardian), and physical custody (parenting time or visitation time). You won't get sole custody in either area unless the mother is provably dangerous to your son. Or has some kind of track record of making exceptionally poor decision…
/r/MensRights04/11/14 04:02 PM
4

The issue is always the interpretation of statistics rather than their absolute values. In my experience I've never changed anyone's mind by quibbling over stats. We could surely make the case that men are at similar risks for sexual violence, but that misses the point entirely. All men should not be shamed for the actions of a few. In any other realm of human endeavor we would be happy to admit this. In fact even bringing up stats in that manner would be considered bigoted. It is entirely plaus…
/r/MensRights03/11/14 08:06 PM
4

Its not that street harassment is ok. Simply that we recognize this video for what it is. A hit piece. This wasnt some scientific experiment. They went out looking for a specific result and got it.
/r/MensRights31/10/14 05:45 AM
1

How does CA law work when the mother contests custody? In other states it looks like this: File paternity suit. Establish paternity and pay child support. Petition the courts for custody and visitation. The only thing that happens automatically upon establishing paternity is a support obligation. No rights to determine education, religion, medical treatment etc... Are you telling me that Fathers get joint legal and physical custody upon establishing paternity in CA?
/r/MensRights30/10/14 01:39 AM
3

...that fathers should be required to apply for parental rights That is exactly how it works now. Fatherhood alone confers no parenting rights. Only the obligation for child support. There are only two ways a father can gain parental rights. With the mother's permission or by applying to the family courts to grant rights. If your worried about a situation where fathers have to apply to be parents, while mothers get everything and child support by default. Welcome to today.
/r/MensRights30/10/14 12:03 AM
1

Pay should not anticipate anything based on gender or marital status. In addition to being illegal it's also inaccurate. There is no basis to making that sort of generalization. In your situation it sounds like you are pursing a different field and have different credentials. Paying people differently based on their credentials, experience and type of work is required for a functioning society. Experience is certainly a factor, but it's not the only factor. Why should a janitor with 2 years of e…
/r/MensRights27/10/14 08:29 PM
5

I wouldn't read too much into this. Women are also around children more often and more responsible for primary care. This is similar to the stats that show single mothers being terrible for child outcomes and single fathers being wonderful for child outcomes. It's not that dads are inherently better. Only the best dads get custody to begin with.
/r/MensRights25/10/14 10:36 PM
6

Not OP, but looked up a few things. Sounds plausible due to the relatively low number of mass shooters. Here is what I found. FBI study on mass shootings between 2000-2013 160 incidents 154 were male shooters. Total of 486 fatalities (unknown how many attributed to the 6 female shooters, the average would put it at 18). Child abuse fatalities in 2011 on page 59 of this HHS report Child fatalities attributed solely to Mother 305 in 2011. Mother and other 150. Child fatalities attributed solely to…
/r/MensRights25/10/14 08:49 PM
3

The issue is the interpretation of statistics. When men are at the top of the corporate ladder they are inherently oppressing women and must be doing something to keep women from the top. You would never hear that same argument when men are at the top of the most wanted list. There is also the attitude of 'women have problems and men are problems'. Unemployed or underemployed women are oppressed by a society that needs to do something to help. Unemployed men are deadbeats.
/r/MensRights25/10/14 08:21 PM
1

Re: Perception Male advocacy looks different than female advocacy. Feminism argues for ever lower standards for rape and domestic violence convictions. Meanwhile often pushing misleading statistics to justify the gendered targeting of men. When the MRM tries to push back on both fronts we are accused of defending abusers. An abused wife worries what her husband will do. An abused husband worries what his wife will convince the courts and police to do on her behalf. Re: Custody Laws I acknowledge…
/r/MensRights22/10/14 07:15 PM
3

I just don't see where women as a whole have the upper hand over men. I believe you are coming at this from the wrong perspective. We aren't the 'male feminism'. We don't see it as 'women oppressing men'. There is no matriarchy or anything, in the same way that there is no patriarchy. It's not about women having the upper hand over men, it's about men have specific issues that differ from what women face. For example child custody. It's not women that refuse to recognize fathers rights, it's soc…
/r/MensRights22/10/14 04:41 PM
1

If she becomes pregnant and chooses to keep the baby against my wishes and our previous agreement, what are my risks financially? I'm thinking primarily of child support. You would be liable for child support regardless of whatever previous agreements you have made. There is no method to remove this responsibility. It doesn't matter if it's notarized or witnessed or etc... Child support is an obligation from parent to child that cannot be waived by either parent short of adoption. Even if she do…
/r/MensRights20/10/14 11:03 PM
2

Sounds like redpiller trash to me. Not interested.
/r/MensRights20/10/14 03:47 PM
6

You've got it backwards. At the moment democrats win elections based on women. They will keep ratcheting up the 'war on women' rhetoric so long as it keeps working. Making any sort of move to support the MRM would endanger the only thing winning them elections. Conversely the Republicans risk little to support the MRM, and potentially gain younger male voters. We might see a feminist approved version of men's rights advocacy. Democrats might trot out something like this to swing a few more male …
/r/MensRights20/10/14 03:40 PM
1

She should never see that kid again. She had her new guy attack the father during an exchange. Just as she was losing the custody battle. He ended up looking like this: http://blogs.babycenter.com/celebrities/halle-berry-gabriel-aubry-11302012-reach-custody-agreement/ Then she got a restraining order against him. For 'instigating' the fight. Apparently getting beaten for not agreeing to move to France is 'instigating'. Such a fucking setup.
/r/MensRights17/10/14 11:23 PM
1

Np, Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions.
/r/MensRights16/10/14 08:14 PM
3

Honestly I'm lucky. Very few young men meet all of the following criteria: Money in sufficient quantity to fight a drawn out custody battle. In some cases paying for both sides of the fight. Time enough to self educate on all the legal issues, while also learning how to become a good father. Support from an extended network of friends and family enough to hold up mentally under the way courts and society treat unmarried fathers. I was extremely lucky that being a father was even an option for me…
/r/MensRights16/10/14 08:11 PM
1

The recurring issue with MRAs being mischaracterized is due to a problem inherent in feminism. Like many movements feminism has created a boogeyman to rally support. That there are powerful cabals of men working to actively undermine women (Patriarchy). The only problem is that the patriarchy doesn't exist no matter how desperately they need it to exist. Feminists have this perspective of men fighting to oppress women. But they can't find those men anywhere. So they get the closest thing, men st…
/r/MensRights16/10/14 03:46 PM
2

Shared parenting initiatives are popping up in many states. IMHO fixing one of the more undeniable issues that men (fathers) face. Rape was redefined to be inclusive of both genders (kinda).
/r/MensRights15/10/14 08:51 PM
5

IANAL TINLA Here is a general idea of a court process: You'll need to establish paternity if you haven't already. This means being legally recognized as the father and being listed on the birth certificate. If you don't do this first you'll have no standing to petition for custody/visitation. Note that establishing paternity confers no rights. Only the obligation to pay child support and the standing to later petition the courts for parenting rights. You should expect that child support will be …
/r/MensRights15/10/14 07:59 PM
3

Firstly thank you for visiting our sub. As with all discussions surrounding rights it's easy to agree that things should be fair, but the issue is defining where exactly fair is from a policy perspective. I mostly agree with your 1-4 (support). The only issue I take is the dismissive method of blaming the patriarchy as the cause of men's issues. For instance: a society who failed to recognize the personhood of over half of the population for as long as it did to be anything BUT prejudiced toward…
/r/MensRights12/10/14 01:54 AM
2

Alimony and child support laws are technically gender neutral. The quickest path to child support and alimony reform is to have more women paying it. The problem is that civil cases have a lot of wiggle room in the margins. Don't be surprised if Judges throw the book at 'deadbeat men' while lending an understanding ear to 'struggling women'. For instance a man who is laid off will be told to get another job while paying the full amount. A woman will get an automatic reduction.
/r/MensRights10/10/14 07:02 PM
3

I've seen this stat before. Honestly it is one of my favorites. A perfect example of Feminists trying to make life harder for men by citing how shitty men already have it. Since men are vastly more likely to be the victims of violence in general, lets use their victimhood to show that women are at more risk. Literally using dead male victims of homicide to advance a cause. Since women are something like 10% of murder victims in general, I wonder where else we could apply stats with similar twist…
/r/MensRights10/10/14 06:45 PM
2

The police won't enforce visitation orders. Custodial interference basically isn't a crime in most states unless you're male. His only hope is to return to court and seek sanctions. Here is how that will play out: He will get a court date that's another 2-4 months out. By the time the court date arrives the mother will have an equally documented bullshit excuse for not providing visitation. The court will just give them both the 'you need to work together' lecture and send them away. The mother …
/r/MensRights06/10/14 08:28 PM
1

To be successful, activist groups must have a narrow focus. A group that tries to do everything will do nothing. This is even more true at the beginning when they are unpopular and derided. Only after groups grow in influence they spread out into other issues to continue justifying their own existence. If anything I would advise the MRM to get narrower not more broad. Start with the one or two big issues that can't be denied. Like father's rights or suicide. Start an Equalism (or something) move…
/r/MensRights06/10/14 07:50 PM
2

Why do they allow this? Because otherwise an unacceptably high number of sexual assaults would go unprosecuted. "Some people regard rape as so heinous an offense that they would not even regard innocence as a defense." Alan Dershowitz How is this fair? It isn't. That's why many people are very cautious who they are alone with lest they be vulnerable for an accusation. It's considered politically incorrect to tell women to be careful, so instead we expect that men should be. What is to stop someo…
/r/MensRights06/10/14 08:20 AM
0

Throwaway because I'm scared about the extremists who are among us. Hilarious. You're scared about extremists? Lets make it less obvious that your trolling please. don't forget to look this up yourselves and form your own opinion through your own findings, be it personal experiences or credible sources. What I've found is that employers would hire martians if they could do the job for 10% less. If women were willing to accomplish the same goals as a man for 77c on the dollar, women only companie…
/r/MensRights30/09/14 05:47 PM
4

There is effectively no enforcement of custody/visitation orders. However you can keep her from being flagrant about it. With proper documentation you can petition the court for sanctions. She will probably get nothing more than a stern talking to the first few times, but eventually she will get tired of being hauled into court. Conversely if you refused to pay the court ordered child support...
/r/MensRights26/09/14 08:30 PM
1

Sounds about right. Throw kids in the mix to make it even better.
/r/MensRights26/09/14 07:34 PM
6

I'm trying to be charitable to the opposing side here, but this is just impossibly clueless. You aren't owed a man's commitment. Asking that suitors lease your reproductive organs... pretty sure there is already a word for that.
/r/MensRights26/09/14 07:27 PM
1

Do you think these statistics are genuine? I believe there is a difference, but 91% is overestimating the difference. On average we are much more lenient to females accused of a crime than males. So any statistic based on prosecution will naturally skew to make men look worse. For the sake of debate lets say that I'll agree there is a male predominance. Do you think it shows that men have a greater capacity for violence, and for sexual aggression? Absolutely not. This is where a lot of statistic…
/r/MensRights26/09/14 06:51 PM
2

IANAL TINLA Since they were never married the father has no legal rights to the children. Not only can the mother do whatever she wants, but she would be within her legal rights to show up with the police and demand that the other child be turned over to her care. https://malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartII/TitleIII/Chapter209C/Section10 "(b) Prior to or in the absence of an adjudication or voluntary acknowledgment of paternity, the mother shall have custody of a child born out of wedlock.…
/r/MensRights26/09/14 12:44 AM
2

The original articles author is trying to close the gap between what people think and what actually happens. A lot of young people think that innocence and good intentions somehow matters when you're the target of the day. There are millions of people drumming up the sexual assault witch hunt. Don't think that you are safe simply because you know that you aren't a witch. Feminists have created a situation where women must be treated with kid gloves or you risk being burned at the stake. Now they…
/r/MensRights25/09/14 07:51 PM
2

This touches on something that I haven't been able to articulate clearly, but it bugs me to no end. It's not enough for Feminists to demonize men as all being violent, rapists, killers etc... They must also stop anyone from warning young men they might be at risk. If we tell women to protect themselves from potentially harmful situations, it's taken as insult to women. If we tell men to protect themselves it's also an insult to women.
/r/MensRights25/09/14 07:45 PM
4

The police won't take action against the mother unless a court order is being violated. Even then they probably won't. Your brother made the mistake that a large number of fathers make. Not getting their parenting rights legally recognized. Were they ever married? You say 'ex' but you don't specifically say ex-wife. Was paternity established? i.e. is he on the birth certificate as the father? Is there any existing parenting plan, child support or visitation orders?
/r/MensRights25/09/14 07:23 PM
11

Perhaps men predominately turning to violence and men predominately being victims of violence are both issues for the MRM?
/r/MensRights24/09/14 01:52 AM
3

People are individuals. Women haven't lost your trust, these specific people showed you their true colors. I had a similar situation and about half of my male friends acted similarly. Pick your three closest friends from the group and talk to them. Brutal honesty about the situation and how you feel. It's simply a pass/fail and move on with your life if they fail. People are products of their environment. If you're college age now any group of friends you have will probably handle this situation…
/r/MensRights24/09/14 01:47 AM
2

Don't tell me to wear a seatbelt, teach other drivers not to crash into me!
/r/MensRights24/09/14 01:31 AM
1

The shadowban has nothing to do with us. Our mod approved your comments so we could answer. Nicemod is just trying to help you.
/r/MensRights22/09/14 08:20 PM
1

What has the legal situation been for the last 12 years? Has there been visitation? A parenting plan? Most custody case guidelines strongly favor the status quo, and use the best interests standard. If you haven't seen your son at all in the past decade, it will be difficult to argue that joint custody would be best for him. But I'd need a better idea of where you're starting from. What does the harassment entail?
/r/MensRights22/09/14 08:17 PM
0

Have to give her credit for this section: "Men, I would like to give this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too. Because to date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man. In fact, in the UK, suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20 to 49, eclipsing road accidents, cancer and heart disease. I’ve seen men …
/r/MensRights22/09/14 08:00 PM
2

Don't have much of an opinion yet. Flatly, I've heard the same song and dance before. Feminism means equality, it's in the dictionary. Ok great, but what does that mean in practice? Every organization has flowery motives superficially. 'Separate but equal' was supposedly about equality. If a feminist movement wants my support, it's going take more than a speech or two saying 'oh you're just wrong feminism is equality for both genders'. I like that the recent speech mentioned parenting issues for…
/r/MensRights22/09/14 07:09 PM
8

I think you misunderstand. The point isn't to actually catch the boogeyman, simply to convince you that he exists. Subsequently I will take action against the boogeyman if you give me your votes. Politicians honestly don't care if college guys get stepped on. They simply see which way the wind is blowing and adjust their sails. Democrats sell the war on women rhetoric because it works.
/r/MensRights19/09/14 11:28 PM
2

Hillary doesn't have a chance. I wouldn't worry about it.
/r/MensRights19/09/14 07:17 PM
3

Reverse the genders. Imagine that some big guy is slapping and spitting on his girlfriend. He charges her and she kicks his feet out from under him. He falls and gets knocked out. The reaction definitely wouldn't be to have her arrested and career ruined. I'd put the response somewhere between a chuckle and a standing ovation for her actions.
/r/MensRights19/09/14 06:11 PM
1

More that the MRM doesn't hate any group or fraction of women however small. I'm not upset that a mother fights for custody, I'm upset that a court system makes custody decisions unfairly. Bad people exist of both genders. Good people exist of both genders. The problem isn't that bad women exist. It's that society as a whole refuses to see a woman as anything other than victim and a man as anything other than a perpetrator. archaic legislation and values that no longer operate in the world where…
/r/MensRights19/09/14 06:02 PM
1

1) The big MRM issues revolve around child custody, suicide, imprisonment and divorce. Additionally the general perceptions of male disposability. Here are a few points to consider: Fathers have zero inherent rights to their children. They can only gain rights by marriage or custody battle. By default mothers have all parenting rights and the family courts are strongly biased towards not changing the status quo. The media portrays men as commonly killing their wives and girlfriends, when men are…
/r/MensRights19/09/14 01:40 AM
1

Redditor for 11 days.
/r/MensRights18/09/14 08:28 PM
6

Nor would a single one of them ever do half of what OP did for another human being. They will organize and go to an event that deplores the feelings they secretly have. It's easy to shame others for not doing enough in a situation that you would never put yourself in.
/r/MensRights18/09/14 08:16 PM
1

I'm happy someone took the time to make this. I disagree with your comments on it. It clearly shows that men suffer from suicide disproportionately.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 09:24 PM
2

I mostly agree with one quibble. Abuse doesn't require physical superiority.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 02:47 AM
1

Please use NP links.
/r/MensRights09/09/14 11:29 PM
1

You assume that someone making misogynist comments is an MRA, or someone from this board at all.
/r/MensRights09/09/14 09:18 PM
1

Stick to the issues. Don't get bogged down in definitions of what the MRM is or isn't. Similarly don't get bogged down in what feminism is or isn't. A productive discussion centers on the issue and the values involved. People that spout stuff like this are trying to put you on the defensive. Simply they want the discussion to center around that rather than the issue at hand.
/r/MensRights09/09/14 08:03 PM
1

I focus on the rights of the individual versus the rights of a collective identity. An individual should be able to choose for themselves their path in life regardless of gender. I think it's perfectly reasonable for more males in aggregate to choose to be truck drivers. In the same way that I think it's reasonable that more women choose to be secretaries. I do not see this as an inherent inequality or flaw. But I would see a problem if a trucking company turned away female applicants because of…
/r/MensRights04/09/14 11:03 PM
1

Nothing. I think you should do nothing. The problem with any witch hunt is a lack of witches. You don't want to stand up and paint a bullseye on yourself at the exact moment the mob is breaking out the pitchforks and torches looking for the patriarchy. What you can't say
/r/MensRights02/09/14 04:59 PM
22

I get it. Social change doesn't happen via an encyclopedia. When feminists show up in numbers and create pages that say we are all misogynist trad-cons, it's 'consensus'. When we show up to correct it, it's brigading. Since the 'consensus' is that we are all hateful jerks, we will be treated as such until the mainstream understanding changes. The mainstream uses sites like Wikipedia as a reference for their understanding. Good luck MRM! I appreciate that you came here to explain this to us, but …
/r/MensRights29/08/14 07:16 PM
1

Kids are expensive and child support is based on combined income and parenting time. If you have a higher income and zero visitation, the child support will be high. That's the breaks. Think about it this way, she is probably paying $450/month for daycare. I have a 4 year old son, I want nothing to do with him That is your first born son. The mother lied to you and sabotaged your BC methods. Your son didn't lie to you about anything. Consider changing your attitude towards him.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:42 PM
3

IANAL TINLA In my case I eventually gained primary custody. She pays me a small amount of child support (occasionally). It took about five years of fighting, and the process was an expensive nightmare. I don't look at it as "worth it or not worth it" simply something I had to take care of to be a parent to my son. Here are some tips. All conversations in writing. Email is perfect. When writing be specific and unambiguous. Identify the issues that are affecting the child and propose plans to addr…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:13 PM
3

It has definitely moved from outright dismissal to more of a co-opt and redirect strategy. They combine your argument 2 and 3. It's a simultaneous attack on our legitimacy while promoting feminism as an alternative. They try to paint us as all straight white guys looking for traditionalism, while they are the ones looking for actual equality. Also any gains we make Feminists will surely claim as their own. Once the MRM gets a few wins, suddenly it will be all about how Warren Farrell is a Femini…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:48 PM
2

Sounds like she was volunteering to handle garbage. I would take her up on it.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:35 PM
3

Notice that it's only earnings for people with college degrees as well.
/r/MensRights27/08/14 04:52 PM
11

It's measuring the rate of change, not the flat values.
/r/MensRights27/08/14 04:52 PM
10

When a man strikes a woman it's evidence that he's abusive. When a woman strikes a man it's evidence that he's abusive.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 09:29 PM
1

Absolutely. That's what gives them power, influence and money.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:09 PM
1

In what ways are women a lot safer than men? Men are the predominate victims of every form of violent crime (only rape is debatable). Looking at many of your responses in this thread. I get the feeling you don't actually look at the numbers behind the percentages. Your perspective seems way off in regards to risks. For instance earlier in the thread you talked about IPV and the risk of being murdered by your husband. When the odds of that happening are tiny compared to the risks you would gain a…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:55 AM
3

The frustration is because your stats are misleading and prove nothing about which gender should be more concerned about IPV. Lets say that 500 women are the victims of violence and 10,000 men are. Using your stats that would mean that 100 female IPV victims, and 500 male IPV victims. The fact that men are vastly more likely to be the victims of violence in the first place puts your statistics somewhere between useless and maliciously misleading.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:37 AM
3

I think they demonize women fighting for rights that they, the MRAs, refuse to recognize as legitimate problems. The issue is that in some cases what women consider their rights, can conflict with what men consider their rights. For instance the recent issue of college campuses lowering the standards for sexual assault findings, and increasing the standards for consent. Women may believe that this is a recognition of their rights while men may feel it's an abrogation of their due process.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:29 AM
2

I would rather stand the chance of losing full custody of a child than stand the chance of being beaten daily by my husband. Would you rather deal with a husband that will get arrested for beating you, or with a wife that can have you arrested if you defend yourself? And what if your wife beats your children? If you leave you don't get to take them with you? With all those statistics you've brought, have you found the one that shows that mothers commit the majority of child abuse? Honestly you h…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:01 AM
4

This is the equivalent of. 'If there is a glass ceiling why don't women just start their own companies'.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:52 AM
1

Obviously most men would choose male and most women would choose female. People would choose to be who they are. Lets consider the other implications of your question. You seem to imply that because male MRAs would choose to be male, that it is an subtle admission that a man's life as easier than a woman's. But is the converse also true? If female feminists chose to remain women would it be an implicit repudiation of feminism? If a black person could choose to be white, but didn't. Would that im…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:45 AM
11

But if you guys fight for equality why do you focus on only one gender? We advocate for specific issues facing men, because groups with a narrow focus are more successful. There are specific issues affecting men that we want to change/fix. We don't see this as overlapping with the issues women face. Unlike feminism we do not claim that some sort of matriarchy pervades all gendered issues. You could ask this same question of any group. Why not fight for women too? Why not kids? Why not elderly? W…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 07:55 PM
3

Epic last paragraph. Really hits the nail on the head. People try so hard to avoid seeing it. Saving this.
/r/MensRights18/08/14 08:28 PM
5

Just look at being an MRA as the next level of gender equality. Feminists believe that men and women are equally capable of doing anything except evil. MRA's just take out that exception. While you're reconsidering your notions of divorce. Keep in mind that child custody is worse. Fathers have zero inherent parenting rights. Feminists commonly oppose any attempts to change this by claiming that single mothers will have trouble escaping abusive men. Completely ignoring the idea that some single f…
/r/MensRights18/08/14 08:24 PM
2

The issue of racism from whites against blacks is still there and it's quite serious. No argument here. There is a fine line between support and exploitation. Everyone knows exactly where to look for the worst examples of oppression and male disposability. On the other hand, I have to acknowledge that the problem that minority men face is much larger than the MRM. We all cringe when feminists try to claim racism as under their purview. How do I bring racism issues up without looking like a white…
/r/MensRights16/08/14 01:20 AM
3

And Susan B Anthony was tame compared to Margaret Sanger.
/r/MensRights16/08/14 12:20 AM
6

You're bouncing around because you keep wanting to treat all men and all women as singular entities and trying to account for their behaviors as a class. We are all individuals. Individuals that have different interests and aptitudes. The average male and the average female will want different things out of life. Anyone who's raised children will see that there are stark differences right from the beginning. It's insane to think that men and women will end up in identical distributions among all…
/r/MensRights16/08/14 12:02 AM
7

Generally the groups supporting this type of legislation keep their identities very small for the reasons you describe. No one ever claims to be an MRA because then you get bogged down playing oppression olympics. So generally there is a state activism group flying under the radar with a name like Coalition for equal parenting in <state name>. With campaigns for change that focus very narrowly.
/r/MensRights15/08/14 11:07 PM
30

The narrative is that men only leave their wives only so they can let their kids starve while buying sports cars and chasing women half their age. Women only leave their husbands because they are brutally abused* *Abuse may include failing to provide a constant shower of cash, attention and other forms of fake abuse.
/r/MensRights15/08/14 10:54 PM
13

Feminists commonly oppose shared parenting bills as well. A good example was the recent one in Minnesota in 2012. The bill was an extremely light touch. It changed the custody guidelines to create a presumption of 35% of visitation time for both parents. But only for divorcing parents where paternity was already established. Passed the legislature, but vetoed by the governor at the behest of women's interest groups. The truly telling thing about the whole scenario. The bill wasn't gendered. It a…
/r/MensRights15/08/14 10:29 PM
1

Go ahead and find out. Make a throwaway troll account, come back to this board, post a punch to stupid misogynistic crap. Watch how fast you get downvoted into oblivion.
/r/MensRights14/08/14 08:18 PM
2

Most custody laws are gender neutral. Simply that men and women start from different positions. Specifically most custody guidelines favor the custodial parent and the childs status quo. Mothers by default have sole legal custody and sole physical custody. They don't have to do anything other than give birth. Fathers must justify to a court why it's better for the child to change that. Its a situation where a high standard is applied to only one gender. Despite the wording of that standard being…
/r/MensRights14/08/14 05:16 PM
2

I've seen the 15% one before. The arrive at the number by using bad math on already misleading statistic. Commonly people will cite my same bjs source and quote something along the lines of '40% of women who are murdered are murdered by an intimate partner and only 2.8% of men are.' Technically this is true, but it omits the fact that there are 3 times as many men murdered in general.
/r/MensRights12/08/14 10:54 PM
2

The important part is that statistics shouldn't guide policy. Regardless if male victims are 10% or 40%. There is no justification to inferring innocence or guilt based on gender. Same with support programs. In no other situation would this even be considered. To answer your question. Domestic Violence stats are contradictory because people use different criteria. Feminists generally focus on Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) only. Which is strictly about people who are sexual partners. MRAs focus…
/r/MensRights12/08/14 10:24 PM
2

First. Don't ever say stupid shit like that. Don't even think it. Anger as an emotion no longer exists to you. Whatever you've experienced up to this point is nothing compared to what you'll encounter once things get serious. It's not about controlling your actions or what you say, it's about not even feeling anger in the first place. Keep your goal of equal custody in your mind and treat every situation with the criterion of 'How can I move closer to my goal'. The answer to the question 'will g…
/r/MensRights12/08/14 05:56 PM
1

Have you ever noticed how complicated these explanations and justifications get? Twisting themselves into so many knots to justify why being told to smile is oppression. I seriously doubt that a cat-caller is thinking "I am the male in control of this space, and by the powers of the patriarchy I must proclaim that this woman's 'ass is great'". This comic is woefully overcomplicated. I can easily acknowledge that some people make rude comments and that unwanted sexual comments are predominately m…
/r/MensRights11/08/14 11:45 PM
1

I used to joke around that she could shoot me and I'd get arrested for stealing her bullets.
/r/MensRights09/08/14 04:35 AM
1

A huge disadvantage. I was thrown out of mediation for suggesting that I would be the primary parent. Not a demand or anything. It went like this: JG: "Hey, kiddo could be with me during the week and her every other weekend right? Why not do this the other way? I already take him to all of his doctors appointments and setup his daycare etc..." Mediator: "I can see you're not going to work with us here, I'll advise the court that you are a high conflict parent." JG: "Well I don't see how that's a…
/r/MensRights08/08/14 09:04 PM
3

The saddest part about all of this, is that the accuser is actually the abusive one. The accusation was simply a means to further the abuse. Despite losing the case in court this woman was able to completely ruin this guy. The gendered hysteria around sexual assault and domestic violence ensures that any man accused will be ruined regardless of innocence or guilt. There are complete strangers who flocked to support Jodi Arias, while your BF was isolated from people he'd known for years. The root…
/r/MensRights08/08/14 08:26 PM
1

I agree that nothing that happens in the article rises to anything that should be on our radar. It's rare to see a place like Salon covering anything close to a subject like this. It took a light touch, but it doesn't make the article irrelevant. I don't think it's harmful to have articles like this one. It would be more offputting if mensrights only had the most extreme examples of bias, or the most shrill of articles/comments. A more representative issue would be the airlines that refuse to al…
/r/MensRights06/08/14 09:43 PM
1

The MRM is larger than this subreddit. Judging the activity of group by it's subreddit seems silly. The MRM in general has gained a lot of ground over the last 20 years. Mostly by convincing people that men aren't inherently evil creatures. In the real world there are groups rallying around various issues. In most cases the groups are quite narrow. They focus on child custody, prison reform, homelessness. While some of these may or may not identify as being part of the MRM, they benefit from the…
/r/MensRights02/08/14 09:48 PM
1

These things have gotten better over time. Back in the 90s the training would have been strictly gendered. Text would refer to 'How men can or can't treat women etc..' Men and women would have gone to separate training. Men would be taught how not to harass. Women would be taught how to report harassment. Written scenarios would all be male offenders and female victims. That there might be a male victim or female offender was never even considered. Suggesting as much would be like suggesting the…
/r/MensRights23/07/14 06:35 PM
1

Which gender was (more or less) in charge and had the power to persecute the other in structural ways You're still seeing this an an either/or construct. Which it isn't. Certainly there have been societies where women as a gender were prevented from holding power or owning land etc... But that doesn't mean that there weren't scores of men who were under the same effective restriction simply by being serfs. If 95% of men had no rights and 100% of women have no rights; it's inaccurate to paint his…
/r/MensRights21/07/14 07:32 PM
1

As for concrete steps. Many states are moving towards shared parenting, and a rebuttable presumption of joint legal custody. More subtly I think we are starting to see a shift in the idea that kids should always go to their mother. If you asked someone in 1990 what the main issue with family court was, they would say 'deadbeat dads'. There was this narrative that fathers were abandoning families to buy sports cars and chase women half their age. Now I see more people saying 'fathers don't get a …
/r/MensRights18/07/14 07:39 PM
8

Equal rights for fathers and an acknowledgement of male victims of DV. I don't expect to see anything out of it personally. The issues that I faced are long past changing. My involvement is for the next guy.
/r/MensRights15/07/14 07:04 PM
1

This was decidedly meh. Paul was simply reading talking points most of the time, and Matt was so far into metaphor that he lost connection to the debate. "Mens rights is like the war on christmas" huh? For me I would have been happier to see an actual formal LD style debate. Where each side must establish their values and criteria. Would have looked like this: AC: Paul makes the affirmative case that the MRM should exist and that men need advocacy. CX: Matt asks any clarifying questions limited …
/r/MensRights11/07/14 12:58 AM
4

Fundamentally you're talking about a 600:1 comment ratio as opposed to 2100:1. Both are exceptionally low participation rates. Saying that MRs are 'three times more likely etc..' is technically correct, but it's misleading and it doesn't support the conclusions you draw.
/r/MensRights09/07/14 07:26 PM
3

The data seems to support that TRP is not a separate community, but a semi-autonomous subset of MR. Hardly. Making 'associations' like this never take into account the exceptionally low numbers of participation in general. Whenever I see "X times more likely than average" or "Y% more than normal" my first thing to check is how low the average is. 1.64 per thousand (MR) vs .47 per thousand (control). What this really says is that participation on TRP is exceptionally low for both control and MR. …
/r/MensRights09/07/14 07:17 PM
2

Do you understand that people are addressing your post? You didn't ask for an affirmative case for family court bias.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 11:30 AM
1

You have an extremely flawed understanding of how litigation works. Honestly I'm not sure how to give you perspective on this in a concise manner.
/r/MensRights06/07/14 11:24 AM
3

Some women don't desire custody either. How large does the group have to be to justify removing parenting rights from a whole gender?
/r/MensRights06/07/14 11:11 AM
2

Addressing your point. Most legal proceedings are settled between the parties. This is true for all areas of law. Settlements are more common in areas where the outcome is easier to forsee. If a loss in court is certain then people settle more not less. Your stats offer no evidence of a lack of bias. Additionally mediation is part of the family court system so your 91% figure is off by 11%. Men have a fundamentally different standard to meet in family court. By default mothers have sole legal an…
/r/MensRights06/07/14 11:06 AM
2

Generally the quote is 'fathers who ask for custody, win 70% of the time'. Technically this is true, but it takes advantage of peoples common misunderstandings about family courts. Assuming that 'custody' is a discrete thing, not a range. You can have joint legal custody and have 15% of the parenting time. Saying father's 'win custody' is purposefully nebulous. Much more damning is the idea that 30% of fathers get no rights at all to their children despite seeking them. They are defining 'winnin…
/r/MensRights03/07/14 08:32 PM
1

It's actually even worse than that. When inebriated. Women are held to a lower standard and men are held to a higher standard. The same people who would say 'how could she give consent while inebriated?'. Would turn around and say 'he was drunk and out of control. His memory of events is suspect, how could he be sure that she gave consent?'. To a woman being drunk is a defense. To a man it's the opposite.
/r/MensRights02/07/14 05:23 PM
1

One of the things you'll grow to understand is that no one is 'overly bad' when they are getting everything they want. Why would she have to be mean while your handing over complete control? It's later when you disagree that the trump card comes out. I've been through family courts a few times on my own and I've advised a few other guys. IMHO the guys who 'just want to get along' or 'I just agree to what she wants to avoid a fight' are the ones who get it the worst. They end up giving away any i…
/r/MensRights28/06/14 12:39 AM
1

The problem with custody parenting plans. Is that any wiggle room is decided in the mother's favor. Reasonable and generous access means: 'whenever I feel like it'. Guess what will happen when you get a new gf? Additionally child support is based on parenting time. In my experience defined schedules are always better. IANAL TINLA
/r/MensRights27/06/14 06:56 PM
32

The only issue I have with this theme of 'we discourage girls from getting into STEM fields by complimenting them in the wrong way'. Is it acts like boys aren't told to throw a football instead of win the science fair. It's not that girls are discouraged. It's that everyone is discouraged. Sidenote: if there was no money in STEM this controversy would disappear overnight.
/r/MensRights27/06/14 12:07 PM
8

A 110lb woman and a 220lb man are equally lethal given a gun. Take the guns away and there is no contest. Even if you believe the 'scary evil men' narrative. You should be pushing for increased gun ownership.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 07:42 PM
1

You can't expect that everyone will agree with your perspective of the world. Even MRAs disagree with each other over some issues. Don't expect ideological parity with people. Learn to value and explore different opinions without taking it personally.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 04:14 PM
1

True, but most people don't see the flaws in the argument until you apply it towards something they value personally. I've changed a few minds regarding both men's rights and gun rights. Refuting statistics alone doesn't get you anywhere unless you address the underlying values.
/r/MensRights24/06/14 03:53 PM
1

We should be very careful in letting statistics guide policy. The murder rate is quite low. In the US it's around 5 per 100,000 people. So you're advocating regulation of an entire class of people based on the behavior of .005% of them. Should we regulate all groups by this standard?
/r/MensRights23/06/14 08:47 PM
1

Do you think action should be taken against the Taco Bell ad No. Are you kidding? This commercial is completely tame. If so, how do you wish to go about it. If there was a ad that was insulting to me, I'd not be a customer of theirs. That is all. Launching some sort of complaint? Seriously? There are fathers getting their kids taken away because of gender. I'm not going to waste one minute of my time with a commercial about someone being in love with a burrito.
/r/MensRights22/06/14 01:40 AM
3

The first article would be best used as a counterpoint against the idea that statistics should guide policy.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 10:53 PM
2

The issue is that Fathers start out with 0% and Mothers 100%. The bests interests standard requires that fathers must prove that it's better for the child for their involvement to be legitimized. Every increase in there involvement must asked for and court approved. The courts have created a strict standard that only fathers must meet. Technically the standard is 'gender neutral' and 'only about the children'. But it only applies to fathers because mothers get custody rights by default. It's lab…
/r/MensRights20/06/14 08:21 PM
5

'The best interests of the child'. Is such a cover. I've been trying to come up with a succinct way of showing how flawed it is because it fools a lot of people who have good intentions. For instance I don't think this MP has any malice in his heart towards fathers. Simply that it's easy to vote for the 'best for the child'.
/r/MensRights20/06/14 07:10 PM
5

Don't expect that anyone you ever meet will be in 100% ideological agreement with you. MRs even disagree with other MRs. Feminists disagree with other feminists. The only real question is are you in opposition on things that make it so you can't enjoy each other's company. She definitely crossed a line by attacking you personally.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 11:13 PM
2

They probably thought you were unmarried. Perhaps paperwork that your wife filled out didn't list a spouse? For fathers, legal custody is only established by the courts or by marriage. If you don't have legal custody, you have no right to medical records. The doctors office could be sued for a HIPAA violation for providing records to a father who doesn't have a legal right to those records. There are a few states who presume legal custody once paternity is established, but it's not a majority.
/r/MensRights18/06/14 06:19 PM
2

Is it so impossible to think that there are MRAs who are attractive, personable people who date regularly. Simply that they've found out what happens when you tell an obsessive woman 'no'. Or a father who has the expectation that his wife leaving shouldn't mean that his children leave as well.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 08:10 PM
-1

Obvious troll is obvious.
/r/MensRights13/06/14 06:18 PM
6

Destroying property is a form of domestic violence
/r/MensRights11/06/14 04:36 PM
1

The issue with being 'anti-feminist' is that we are already smeared as being some kind of neo-traditionalist movement. If the first thing people hear is that we are anti-feminist, we are playing into that stereotype. There isn't a succinct way to say 'we are for women's rights, but not anti-male policies and cooked statistics that many feminist organisations push'. MRAs know the distinction, but your average person might just see us as being against feminism = against the rights of women. I thin…
/r/MensRights10/06/14 04:36 PM
2

Commonly what you'll find one of two things: That the laws are gender neutral but the application is biased. E.G. Family courts generally use the 'best interests of the child' as a guideline for custody decisions. Then the judge will issues a finding that says something along the lines of 'children are better off breastfed so mom gets custody until such time as dad can lactate or child is weaned.' See perfectly gender neutral. Next hearing a different judge says 'Child has spent more time with m…
/r/MensRights10/06/14 01:48 AM
44

It's wrong when men get taken like this, it's also wrong when women do. Part of me wonders if child support and alimony reform will only happen once more women start paying.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 01:13 AM
36

One common theme I see is measuring both men and women using the woman's yardstick. 46% of fathers don't change diapers. Ok great, what % of mothers mow the lawn? Household chores are commonly divided up. Asking why someone isn't 'sharing' your half of the workload is selfish.
/r/MensRights10/06/14 12:56 AM
2

Dean was approaching it as a debate rather than an interview. He brings up cogent stats and points out flaws in the popular narratives. Then his opponent describes MRs as children who are scared of women. That men already have their candy but can't let women have theirs. I'm going to take this opportunity to point out that normal interpersonal discussions aren't debates, and no one changes their convictions based on statistics. You have to consider your audience and talk to them on their level. …
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:46 PM
1

Had exactly this happen. Ex gf showed up outside my apartment uninvited. Walked out to ask her to leave and she started getting aggressive. Refusing to leave yelling, and getting in my face. All I'm doing is backing up slowly and calmly telling her I'll call the police if she doesn't leave. Out of nowhere some random woman (unknown to either of us) pulls her car over gets out and joins in. With a 'what did this guy do to you?' sort of attitude.
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:16 PM
1

No. Nothing ends well with a woman getting violent with you. Most bystanders will be suspicious that the male did something to generate the attack. A female abuser will play this up. If the police are called they won't be interested in sorting out who did what. He said/she said will result in a night in jail for the male. The ideal response is just to ghost. Leave without a trace.
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:06 PM
1

I'd still recommend recording and documenting it wherever possible. Just don't expect that anyone involved will be interested in prosecuting her. Keep documentation to defend yourself against allegations.
/r/MensRights09/06/14 10:01 PM
1

Don't worry it wouldn't have changed anything. I had dozens of recordings and eye witness testimony. Didn't help one bit.
/r/MensRights09/06/14 09:18 PM
2

The right wing isn't a friend to MRAs either. It's just more subtle. Imagine an article about the justice system or sexual assault in prisons. I'd expect a better treatment about the subject from NPR than Fox news. Or imagine there was war requiring the draft? Which side would be MRA friendly then? Right wingers will send you to war, and tell you to man up. Left wing will take all your money that you 'don't deserve' to buy votes. They are two side of the same male disposability coin. They are si…
/r/MensRights06/06/14 08:13 PM
2

Women are far more oppressed in society in general By what criteria? If women are more oppressed than men does that mean that there should be zero advocacy for men? deciding feminism is obsolete to support an already dominant group is selfish and oppressive. Homeless men are a dominant group? Divorced fathers are a dominant group? Male victims of domestic violence are a dominant group? Should no one speak for these millions of people because a few hundred guys are CEOs? How could you be against …
/r/MensRights06/06/14 07:38 PM
1

It's an easy train of thought to follow. Men are in charge of the world, therefore men are the cause of the worlds problems. They've designed the rules to keep themselves in power at the expense of others. Women are just passengers who would make all the right decisions if only they were given a chance to hold power. It's easy to blame the problems of the world on a small group rather than face uncomfortable truths head on. Men didn't make the world unfair, we discovered that it's unfair. The un…
/r/MensRights05/06/14 10:57 PM
1

I agree there are still plenty of jackasses in the world, and that there are specific issues women face more frequently. The problem with all men are privileged is that issues than men face more frequently aren't counted. A recurring theme has dominated the gender debate for my entire life. It is the measuring of both men and women with the 'female problems' yardstick. Of the few thousand people at the top, you'll mostly find men. Of the millions at the bottom, you'll find mostly men. Guess whic…
/r/MensRights28/05/14 01:49 AM
2

Life isn't a fair thing. Face that idea and own it. Then focus on getting what you want. Don't worry about people's lack of compassion. You don't require it. Don't worry about abusive women. Because you will remove them from your life. It sounds like your spinning your wheels on this issue. To break yourself away from it, acknowledge that you aren't going to find some secret formula to make people act rationally. So stop trying. Instead, change your setting and center your mind on something else…
/r/MensRights23/05/14 07:36 PM
3

None of those things are as bad as asking for advice from my friends and family and being dismissed or, in some instances, ridiculed. Being an MRA is about everything that happens after the abuse. In my case I had two years of being harassed and stalked with zero action taken by police or the court system. In many cases the police were her tools to further harass me. A number of us come here because it's the only place we can talk about stuff like this. We all have friends and family who just ca…
/r/MensRights23/05/14 07:19 PM
2

Anyone looking at this VA scandal should consider the following: This is what national government healthcare already looks like in the US. When we do have a NHS do you think that civilians will somehow be treated better than war veterans? Imagine how much more strident federal politics will become. The IRS targeted certain groups for not agreeing with the current administration. How much worse will it be when political opinions can affect timely medical treatment? Every dollar spent on prostate …
/r/MensRights22/05/14 04:53 PM
1

Tell her that she's not doing her fair share of the earning.
/r/MensRights22/05/14 12:02 AM
1

They win either way. A stay at home father is an unemployed loser. A stay at home mother is doing the hardest job in the world.
/r/MensRights21/05/14 04:05 PM
2

Might as well close the loop. The more boys sacrifice to earn value, the easier it is to sell women on persecution.
/r/MensRights21/05/14 03:59 PM
9

What's odd is there are several comments where he acknowledges the issues that men face, but then just dismisses the MRM as illegitimate anyway. Followed by a 'women have it worse'. It's ok for men to have issues, and they are serious, but anyone who advocates for those issues hates women?
/r/MensRights13/05/14 03:05 AM
4

how does this work when it's a CMV thread. Isn't this inviting comment?
/r/MensRights13/05/14 12:17 AM
21

Either they are trolls claiming to be MRAs, or they are MRAs who are hopelessly misguided. You don't change minds by invading other subs.
/r/MensRights09/05/14 10:10 PM
3

I think the MRM's objection is mainly about reversing the genders. Why is it ok for you but not for me? On balance I think we don't mind taking ridicule directed towards us, but it's fair for us to point out that it's a one way street. No talk show could get away laughing at some woman being cut up. Asking for consistent treatment isn't a double standard.
/r/MensRights08/05/14 05:48 PM
11

In context I don't think that it's all that outrageous. Women went from hardly ever attending college, to attending in exceedingly large numbers. I don't think President Obama is trying to say it's a great thing that men are lesser. There are plenty of things made up by the Democrats to drum up female votes. This is fairly innocuous in comparison. Lets not go tilting at windmills.
/r/MensRights08/05/14 05:43 PM
1

I'll do what I can to protect myself, but like hell I'm going to let some kid get hurt out of fear.
/r/MensRights08/05/14 01:27 AM
6

The hardest part about arguing with a Feminist is that you just can't pierce all the training. They've heard it a thousand times over that women are ruthlessly persecuted. Straight men absolutely are harassed, attacked and even imprisoned because of their gender. Governments absolutely turn a blind eye towards the abuse (even complicit in some cases). But somehow all the feminist rules about victimhood don't apply to males.
/r/MensRights07/05/14 08:27 PM
3

re: the 'idle rich' What if someone living off of their investments doesn't harm me personally in any way? In fact what if having a bunch of rich people around is actually a net benefit? I guess I just don't understand how someone else having pile of money does anything other than present one more person who can hire me or buy what I sell. Additionally with inflation and interest rates what they are today. It's extremely difficult to securely grow wealth. All this money has to find places to be …
/r/MensRights02/05/14 08:59 PM
5

So why care if a woman's life is easier? I don't? I hope every single person on this planet has things work out well for them man or woman. Just not at the expense of another. MRs aren't trying to enact a 'Equal Workplace Fatality Act'. To ensure as many women die on the job. Or to sue employers when there are more male casualties than female. This is one of the primary differences between MR and Feminism. We aren't looking to legislate equality. We seek freedom from interference. We don't want …
/r/MensRights02/05/14 08:12 PM
4

There are MRAs from all over the political spectrum, and all are welcome, but here is my personal views on it. I see the pogrom against 'the rich' as similar to the pogrom against men. The idea that belonging to a certain group means you inherently owe society a debt. It doesn't bother me that some rich guy's life is easier than mine. It bothers me that I'm expected to atone for the '1%' or 'the patriarchy's' perceived sins. I see feminism and socialism as similar. Groups with an unending supply…
/r/MensRights02/05/14 07:05 PM
8

I think you have this backwards. Your cousin and aunt should be worried about your opinions of them. Sometimes it's difficult to see how bad this is until you switch the genders. Imagine a male cousin told you that he was planning to poke holes in a condom or sabotage birth control. Because 'women don't know what they want, and need a push'. That's not someone I'd call family.
/r/MensRights02/05/14 06:09 PM
0

The correct answer is that this level of statistical quibbling doesn't matter. It doubly doesn't matter who comes in 'first' in the sexual assault category. We shouldn't be trying to argue who is 'more victimised'. Simply that male victims do exist, and in non-trivial numbers. That regardless of who is in the 'lead' it doesn't justify any of the gender based services/protection/prosecution.
/r/MensRights01/05/14 10:02 PM
4

How to get feminists to end this practice in 24hrs. Re-write article with headline: 'Quantas expects random adult women to care for unaccompanied children' 'Clearly our female passengers won't mind, after all it's every woman's place to take care of children. We can't ask men to do that, they might have something important to do. So we make sure to seat any unaccompanied minors next to adult women. Of course their gender means they will be able to provide unpaid childcare.'
/r/MensRights28/04/14 10:34 PM
2

I'm guessing if Amazon made pipe fittings and had a 98% male board, no one would care.
/r/MensRights28/04/14 10:28 PM
5

As an MRA I'm unconcerned with Feminism. I simply want fathers to have equal rights to their children and that men be treated fairly by the justice system. The problem is that when you advocate for these things a bunch of people who call themselves feminists oppose you. Or at a minimum try to co-opt you for their own agenda. Now what? If you disagree with Feminists or refuse to be co-opted, they act as if you are arguing against women's rights in it's entirety. As if trying to end maternal prefe…
/r/MensRights25/04/14 08:08 PM
4

IANAL TINLA As a father who went through a similar situation (albeit in a different state). I think you should go for it. You're always better off having a defined parenting plan on the books rather than just a temporary order. Understand that child support is generally calculated based on income and parenting time. This is one of the reasons she will oppose increasing your legally recognized parenting time. In my situation I was responsible for the primary care of a child for 5 years before the…
/r/MensRights22/04/14 11:26 PM
8

What would male-male couples think about society treating fathers are second class parents? How does she think they feel when every school calls asking for mom. When every doctor's office asks for mom. When every daycare asks for mom etc....
/r/MensRights22/04/14 09:40 PM
11

No one would question a mother's involvement in a child's life. It doesn't even have to be justified in the first place. Is removing children from willing parents is required to spare your feelings about heteronormativity? Strikes me that the NAFALT arguments have a purpose. It provides cover to always be 'right' and for the other side to always be 'wrong'. Feminism uses the idea of the Patriarchy when it suits them and when it justifies their actions. Conversely when attacking the idea of the P…
/r/MensRights22/04/14 09:07 PM
2

It doesn't work that way. You can't just sign away your responsibility to your child. Nor does the 'clock run out' on support obligations. It's possible that your mother and father worked out an arrangement where he wouldn't seek visitation if she wouldn't seek support, but that's only held up by her word. If she sought support she would get it. There is no legal ability to do what you describe.
/r/MensRights21/04/14 10:10 PM
1

Joint legal is meaningless; it should be joint custodial. I agree. Also, statistics suggest you're wrong about courts awarding joint legal custody to the father. Not a statistical argument, merely saying that the legal guidelines in many states provide a presumption of joint legal custody once paternity is established. The real battle is equal visitation time. I'm not sure what statistics you refer to, but I'm certain there is a maternal preference like most things in family court. From what I'v…
/r/MensRights21/04/14 09:55 PM
2

Treatment of non-custodial parents will improve as soon as more women become non-custodial parents.
/r/MensRights21/04/14 06:52 PM
2

Wait, why is the DA contacting you? Are you sure it's a DA? Normally family courts are civil. If this is the first you've heard, it should be a process server on behalf of her attorney or on behalf of the courts not a DA.
/r/MensRights21/04/14 06:42 PM
2

So could OP be forced to provide child support if the kid turns out to be his with absolutely zero involvement in the kids life or hers, except for a relationship two years in the past Yes. Probably back child support. Child support is accrued from when the child is born. Not when paternity is established. Although the court will likely work with him a little. not be awarded any parental rights? In most states establishing paternity doesn't automatically confer legal parenting or visitation righ…
/r/MensRights21/04/14 06:26 PM
2

We make plenty of well reasoned arguments and introspective comments about values. Advocate for small changes here and there. Then we'll have trolls from AMR come here and post 'women should get back in the kitchen amirite gys?' from a 1day old account. Screenshot it before it's banned -> "look at these jerks!". You don't understand how people like these work. You assume that they desire to change their minds, or arrived at these opinions rationally. In reality they are looking justifications to…
/r/MensRights18/04/14 07:22 PM
3

People at the top tend to be men. People at the bottom also tend to be men. As a man you're more likely to be homeless than CEO. A number of people mistakenly think that the MRM is about hanging on to the top of society, when really it's about addressing the bottom of it. But who are any of us to you? Just random people on the internet. You seem to have many preconceived ideas about what we are. Not all of us are straight white male patriarchs. The only time race enters our discussions is when w…
/r/MensRights17/04/14 07:45 PM
1

Yes. In fact your payments will likely increase at some point. In most states child support is based on visitation time, and child care expenses. Sounds like she has all of both. Sidenote: I don't know where people get this idea about child support, but I see it regularly. This idea that involvement should cost money, and non-involvement should be free. Completely backwards.
/r/MensRights17/04/14 07:06 PM
2

MR is neither conservative nor liberal. Both are two sides of the male disposability coin. Traditionalist conservatives will tell you to man up and get married, and then send you to war. Leftwing liberals tend to be associated with feminism and will gladly 'protect' all these poor fragile women at the expense of men (VAWA). Men are squeezed in a vise between the forces of feminism's leftwing brand of 'fairness' and traditional conservative values of the male role. Both sides only see different v…
/r/MensRights17/04/14 06:54 PM
1

IANAL -> TINLA. It will be a rough road, but you can absolutely still see your child. People do this every day. Fathers can win meaningful custody. Where most guys go wrong, is that they give up in the face of a drawn out custody battle. They try to work things out and be diplomatic, when they should be asserting their rights. she has given me an option between being together and seeing my child every day or being given custody every other weekend. I'm sure you realize that this is blackmail. 'S…
/r/MensRights11/04/14 08:14 PM
9

Everything in that article is an insult to statistics everywhere. Most of that massachusetts study talks about legal custody not physical custody. Joint legal custody is implied in many states once paternity is established. This has zero bearing on visitation. Even in the sections that it does purportedly talk about physical custody. Joint physical custody doesn't imply a 50-50 schedule. Two weekends a month is marked under the joint custody column. Some states don't make a distinction between p…
/r/MensRights07/04/14 05:21 PM
10

Until you're accused of being exclusionary at the office. You must support the pay gap /s
/r/MensRights07/04/14 04:49 PM
17

First off there is no reason for this option to be specifically gendered. Women should also have a reliable option to allow the father to be the sole parent. It would give women an option other than abortion and random adoption. There absolutely are women who fear that they will lose a custody battle, and/or would be poor parents. Future effects are unknown. There might be a wave of single parent children, or alternatively there might be fewer out of wedlock births to begin with. My view is that…
/r/MensRights04/04/14 10:35 PM
1

I don't really care about feminism. I'd prefer not to argue with them at all, but for some reason when you say 'We should address men's issue X' people come out of the woodwork against you. And they all call themselves feminists. Then suddenly I'm a misogynist for not being one of them and agreeing with their strict definitions of 'equality'. It reminds me a lot of self-centered religious people who assume that you must hate and oppose their faith simply because you aren't a member. When you sim…
/r/MensRights04/04/14 04:04 PM
1

No that's not accurate. Child support checks are made payable to the custodial parent.
/r/MensRights02/04/14 07:13 PM
1

Looks like a hit piece to me. Heavily edited, jumping between various takes etc...
/r/MensRights02/04/14 06:48 PM
3

Nothing inherently wrong with her having opinions different than yours. Plenty of people with different viewpoints date. If her views are a deal breaker for you then leave, don't fight over it. If you aren't ok with dating a feminist, then don't date a feminist. Conversely if you want to stick around, it helps to realize that most people on both sides are good people. Just different perspectives. Focus on what you have in common.
/r/MensRights31/03/14 08:59 PM
1

She refused to get a paternity test if it is born. You can still get a test with a court order. Since you are unmarried, you have the right to a paternity test if she claims you are the father. Additionally you can file a paternity suit yourself and seek a court ordered paternity test. Do not sign any birth certificate or acknowledgement of paternity without a test. What can I do? For now, not much. When the baby is born you should take an active approach. Don't let her exploit you by holding th…
/r/MensRights25/03/14 10:36 PM
1

Regarding #1: Paternity rights A list of how various states legally establish fatherhood Mostly this covers methods where the mother agrees to recognize the father, but there are some interesting tidbits. A more direct example from Utah's paternity matters site. When an unmarried mother gives birth, the biological father of the child does not automatically have any of the legal rights or duties that go along with fatherhood. Also: Why it is important to establish paternity Notice how 'rights' ar…
/r/MensRights23/03/14 05:23 PM
1

Thankfully you won't find directly biased laws on the books. However you can still arrive at a very biased result. An unmarried man who's about to become a father and wants full custody will deal with the following 'gender neutral' policies in this order. Assuming the mother disagrees with his involvement. To be considered a parent you must be recognized legally as the parent. The mother gets this at the hospital, and a father must file a paternity suit to be listed. This will take weeks or poss…
/r/MensRights23/03/14 01:51 AM
1

If you were born in Salem in the 1600s and knew that the witch trials were wrong. What were your options? You could leave and refuse to participate in a paranoid society (MGTOW). You could try to fight to change the way the society thinks (MRA). Or you could simply study the failings of society with selfish indifference (TRP). There is something of a schism among many MRAs. Many arrive here from a right wing libertarian bent. The idea that protecting 'women and children' is just a convenient mea…
/r/MensRights17/03/14 06:30 PM
1

Everyone should negotiate employment and compensation but we should also realize when we aren't looking for the same thing. If there are two concerns to be negotiated, I'm sure we can figure something out. Three and we are still in the ballpark. Five and we are clearly not on the same page. Another thing is phrasing. If negotiation was intended, a numbered list of demands isn't the way to present it.
/r/MensRights14/03/14 10:20 PM
3

Completely ok with this. I'm 100% pro-fathers rights, but I don't see possible justification to have it any other way. In any hospital/medical situation the patient should have complete control. Are there really MRAs out there who don't get this?
/r/MensRights12/03/14 11:03 PM
3

What if that 'man' is 12 and the woman is his 32 year old teacher? Additionally I'm curious what you'd think if unmarried fathers got custody and child support from the mother by default? Rather than the reverse.
/r/MensRights12/03/14 10:03 PM
5

Take abortion out of it. Just turn the current child custody situation around. Let's not even discuss pregnancy. Lets just gender swap the family court. Fathers get full custody by default. Women have to pay thousands to prove they are a fit parent. This process will take months, and at the end of it they will get a few hours a week to see their new baby. In the meantime they will have to have a job, pay child support, child care, health insurance for the child, and possibly contribute to the le…
/r/MensRights12/03/14 09:53 PM
3

The comments section is just sad. MR: 'A woman's consent to sex isn't consent to parenthood, and rightfully so. We just want men to have the same option via LPS.' Feminist: 'We aren't your property, and kids aren't your property! We aren't going backwards get over it! My BODY! laalallalalallaalla can't hear you'
/r/MensRights12/03/14 09:41 PM
2

You've discovered one of the worst parts about custody decisions. Lack of enforcement. We ask men to spend tens of thousands and fight for custody in court, when the mother receives custody by default. Yet, even if you win, all you get is a piece of paper with nothing backing it up. It will start small. She'll begin with just taking a day that is important to her. Then a weekend, etc... It will get worse every time she gets away with it. The courts only real power is sanctions and they just flat…
/r/MensRights11/03/14 05:53 PM
23

Meh, it's no worse than any other group getting lampooned. I wouldn't expect MRAs to be exempt from ridicule. If anything it's an indicator of our rising visibility. I only wish it were funny, but SNL hasn't been funny in years.
/r/MensRights09/03/14 05:02 PM
1

The correct answer is 'who cares'. The result is the same regardless of motivation. More men with the right to vote.
/r/MensRights05/03/14 08:59 AM
0

It's downright irrational to assume people wouldn't or shouldn't consider the magnitude of a problem and who is affected when seeking to help the people being troubled. What's fair is to demand proportional attention. I agree and I think most of the people on here agree with proportional attention as well. Most of the questions I see are along the lines of 'why isn't this program proportional'. You seem to take this as some sort of veiled racism. You see where I am? After reviewing many your com…
/r/MensRights01/03/14 07:18 PM
0

Edtastic you've been here a while and I've enjoyed many of your comments/posts. This is the first I've heard of the brother's keeper thing. I've upvoted both because I do believe that the program could be a positive one. I'd just like to say that my experiences in family court opened my eyes. For years the entire world was against me. The police, schools, mediators, courts, each had to be repeatedly convinced that I wasn't inherently evil. It clicked how much damage discrimination can do even wh…
/r/MensRights28/02/14 11:20 PM
2

You're completely right. We should teach all boys that the nature of their gender is to fight wars. Also to win wars, and run countries. Why stop there? Just be sure to point out that most things of any consequence in history have been accomplished by males specifically because of their gender. Who cares if the girls are 'crumpled' by this 'fact'. Perhaps you understand now?
/r/MensRights24/02/14 09:12 AM
6

One general theme I see is aggregating multiple smaller things with one bad thing to make them appear more prevalent. E.g. '1 in 4 women have been a victim of rape or sexual assault or been catcalled in their lifetime.' This is also present in anything that says 'women and children are mostly affected by violence'. By definition adult women and children are going to make up a larger group then men alone. Additionally you'll find that people will conflate numbers from the the total number of DV v…
/r/MensRights22/02/14 07:42 PM
1

I wish I could say that it will change. One of the biggest issues I had in family court was that the orders only applied in one direction. She could do whatever she wanted, and I had to comply to the letter (even when orders were contradictory). She would show up late or even skip/refuse mediation appointments. Never took any of the 'required' parenting classes etc... She even showed up in court several times with outstanding warrants, but was never arrested. Best thing you can do is just get us…
/r/MensRights20/02/14 07:53 PM
21

Women have fathers, brothers and sons. Further, it's not necessary to be a man to be an MRA or a woman to be a Feminist. I think it's oversimplifying to say that all men who advocate for women's rights are just white knights trying to curry favor.
/r/MensRights20/02/14 07:42 PM
50

Because prosecuting the guilty is not equivalent to protecting the innocent. John Adams: "It is more important that innocence should be protected, than it is, that guilt be punished; for guilt and crimes are so frequent in this world, that all of them cannot be punished.... when innocence itself, is brought to the bar and condemned, especially to die, the subject will exclaim, 'it is immaterial to me whether I behave well or ill, for virtue itself is no security.' And if such a sentiment as this…
/r/MensRights14/02/14 09:59 PM
63

"It seems to me that we value fair and equitable processes more than we value the safety of our students." Valuing safety requires fair and equitable processes. A witch hunt or a lynching is not valuing safety.
/r/MensRights14/02/14 06:33 PM
1

I'm a father who has been in a similar situation and now has primary custody. It's always an uphill battle for fathers. The trick is to be relentless. Keep asking for more. Rarely will a judge just change a custody arrangement from 100% mom to 100% dad overnight. Ask for custody anyway, but be prepared for the result to be 25% visitation. Then ask again and get more from there. How will this happen? How could they ignore all the damning evidence? The timeline for courts are always long. By the t…
/r/MensRights14/02/14 06:23 PM
14

A common theme among 'women in tech' articles is that assumption that women are socially pushed into other areas of interest. That their identity is thrust upon them. The implication is that men each choose their own destiny free from influence. That being a computer nerd is somehow a socially positive role for boys. As if a nerdy son never had to deal with a sports centered father's disappointment. I can acknowledge that girls might get told to play with barbies, but I don't see any acknowledge…
/r/MensRights06/02/14 08:41 PM
3

It's funny how the smallest physiological differences require large societal compromises in any other circumstance. If men can work longer hours it's 'unfair' to women and we should have laws that make things 'fair'. If physical standards are too high for a given occupation they must be lowered to make things 'fair'. God forbid that we make things even remotely fair in the other direction. A 9 month pregnancy is an obligation that you can't force on a woman because of her choice. An 18+ year obl…
/r/MensRights04/02/14 07:46 PM
3

Legally recognized Fathers absolutely have a say in adoptions. The problem is that a baby might not have a father listed on the birth certificate in the first place. Or if the father doesn't act quickly enough to file a paternity suit he may not be able to contest the adoption. Additionally fathers can receive child support from non-custodial mothers.
/r/MensRights03/02/14 11:41 PM
1

He has never met this kid in person, has no desire to, and is convinced that any legal recourse will only be in her favor. Is this true? Is there anything he can do, or is he stuck footing the bill for a kid he never wanted from the start? He has zero legal recourse to stop paying child support. The only scenario where he stops paying is via adoption, or if he gains primary custody. There is zero incentive for the mother/step-father to adopt, and it's extremely unlikely for a previously absent f…
/r/MensRights27/01/14 06:02 PM
5

Ok great. A good start would be to advise other feminists to stop blockading any event where people try to talk about it. Perhaps they believe in a different feminism than you do? Also I don't really care if 'feminism' agrees or disagrees with any given point. We aren't based on other groups opinions. If your version of feminism agrees, good for you.
/r/MensRights27/01/14 05:10 PM
15

This looks like a troll. New account, off-topic, only submission etc.. Regardless: We don't care what you're attracted to or what you are seeking from a partner. That's between you and whoever you choose to date. This sub isn't about encouraging a particular lifestyle. Pursue whatever makes you happy, and disregard other's judgement. Regardless of how you lead your life it will be 'wrong' according to someone.
/r/MensRights21/01/14 07:19 PM
3

Family courts claim to be about the 'best interests of the children'. When in reality it's all about money. Ask yourself how the court would treat eight months of no child support payments?
/r/MensRights21/01/14 07:05 PM
3

One adult human can seriously injure or kill another adult human. Even with a size disparity. Think of a 100lbs of weight at the gym landing on you, or landing on your elbow/knee. Additionally 'capacity' should have little bearing on the morality of a fight. If a little guy attacks a big guy and gets his ass kicked, everyone would say 'wtf were you thinking attacking someone twice your size? Of course you got your ass kicked.'
/r/MensRights21/01/14 03:39 PM
3

It's hilarious that you think she's a pro at working the system. Even an amateur would would have had an 'injury' by the time the cops showed up. A pro would have called the police again on your mom when you two returned saying that she was threating her on your behalf, and that you were waiting outside for her. You would have gone back to jail.
/r/MensRights21/01/14 03:30 PM
1

A number of possibilities. Depends on what her goals are. She's not sure what the results of the paternity test will say if he asks for one. (which he should) She wants complete control over the child. With your brother not listed as the father he has zero rights. She could decide to put the child up for adoption without his consent. Or use the kid as a pawn to control him. It could also be that she simply doesn't want to share custody. She wants to double dip on child support. Her demands again…
/r/MensRights16/01/14 03:51 PM
13

Even if Feminist stats are 100% accurate (which they are not). Should statistics guide policies? What makes this right? 'Statistically few women are perpetrators so a gender neutral approach to DV is misguided' What makes this wrong? 'Statistically few women are skilled in STEM fields so a gender neutral approach to hiring is misguided' The morally correct answer is that even if statistically few women are STEM majors, that doesn't mean that an individual woman's skills/role should be determined…
/r/MensRights15/01/14 05:02 PM
1

The root of the issue is that ideologies tend to co-opt all other movements and make all the problems of the world fit under a single umbrella. You see this repeatedly with many successful ideologies. If it's rainy instead of sunny: A Marxist says the rich people own all the land in the sunny places. A Capitalist says that government regulation is preventing them from removing the clouds. A Feminist complains that gender normative clothing isn't safe to wear in bad weather. A Christian will say …
/r/MensRights14/01/14 09:17 PM
1

Agreed. Clean up the website and make the text sections more concise.
/r/MensRights31/12/13 04:19 PM
5

IANAL! TINLA! Get a lawyer! Generally don't expect them to be favorable to you. DV courts can be extremely gender biased depending on the judge. Your best bet is to be a reasonable person who's simply trying to leave and avoid conflict. Approach the court as such. Be firm and consistent in what happened and what didn't happen. My own experience was extremely negative. Basically I was put in jail for avoiding an attack. I had an ex-gf who had stalked me for two years. Both sides acknowledged that…
/r/MensRights30/12/13 11:27 PM
1

'When they fought, police would arrest him - charges would be dropped or defeated in court. He went to police with a complaint. ''They said, 'She's a woman and how big are you?'.'' He showed them a video he had taken of her holding a frying pan. She had bashed holes in the door. She used to throw things, smash doors, once tried to hit him on the head with a pot plant. ''We could be in the same room, her anger escalating and I knew- she knew it, too - that if she called the police there would be …
/r/MensRights30/12/13 10:53 PM
21

I don't think it needs to be painted as a pendulum that either swings male or female. Instead we simply need to recognize that boys have unique challenges that may need to be addressed differently than girls.
/r/MensRights30/12/13 04:20 PM
3

2 Legal Paternal Surrender. One quibble. There is no reason to gender this option. There are women out there who would want the father to raise the child if they weren't concerned about child support. Allow either parent to 'opt out'. Adoption if they both opt out. Edit: I'm surprised there are MRAs who don't understand that some men want to parent their children. The current system gives the mother a financial incentive to keep the father out of the process. If mother wants to keep the child, k…
/r/MensRights18/12/13 07:53 PM
14

Stalker ex-gf made my life hell, but it wasn't her behavior that made me an MRA. It was the response of the police and court system. Dozens of times calling the police, and she got away with it every time. I wrote letters, had witnesses, retained attorneys, recorded encounters etc... Every time she got away with it, it made her bolder the next time. After about two years of escalating abuse I couldn't let her put her hands on me again. I defended myself with a minimum of force and went to jail f…
/r/MensRights13/12/13 03:51 PM
1

It's not that fathers caring for their kids are pedophiles, it's that an unaccompanied man around children is inherently suspect. The bias against men being around kids is so widespread it's background noise at this point. Here's an overview If you're male you'll be asked to change seats on an airplane.
/r/MensRights04/12/13 12:25 AM
3

IANAL, TINLA In court be amicable yet firm. You want to come across as the person trying to solve a problem, not just throwing mud at the other parent. Focus on what you can provide that the child hasn't been receiving in the current situation. Be prepared to cite your states custody guidelines. IANAL, TINLA
/r/MensRights03/12/13 11:02 PM
6

As someone who dealt with a similar situation, be very careful involving the police in a DV situation, they will be extremely unlikely to see a male as anything but an abuser. I spent 2 years being stalked by an ex and interacting with the police on dozens of occasions. It was bad enough that I've often joked that she could have shot me, then had me arrested for stealing her bullets. Get a restraining order and change your phone number. Notify your employer of the restraining order as well. The …
/r/MensRights03/12/13 10:48 PM
4

"Feminists terrified that some doubt might be cast on any woman's word anywhere at any time. Especially if the doubt might be justified." This highlights that feminism doesn't care about protecting men. Or even worse: that men protecting themselves is somehow a threat to women. Any rational person would see this as a good practice. Just like a woman who has a friend check on her during a first date. It's funny to think that a movement based on gender equality has such a hard time viewing women a…
/r/MensRights03/12/13 08:47 PM
15

'White men aren't a protected class' uhhh race and gender are protected classes you idiot. Not only is she wrong, but she is literally admitting that she treated them differently because of their race and gender. Completely insane. It's like getting arrested for accidental manslaughter and trying to explain that they should release you because it wasn't an accident.
/r/MensRights02/12/13 08:03 PM
2

LPS is an attempt to give unmarried men some form of reproductive rights. The idea is that fathers legal standing as parent would have be to chosen voluntarily. It's recognizing that consent to sex is separate from consent to parenthood. Keep in mind that birth control sabotage isn't recognized as sexual assault unless a woman is the victim. Commonly people point to something like this as some sort of legal way to be a deadbeat dad. When most proposed methods would be handled similar to an adopt…
/r/MensRights02/12/13 07:42 PM
3

That would be ideal. The real question is 'what needs to be changed to make that happen?' This is where the MRM and Feminism differ. The 'wage gap' would be an ideal example. If statistically men work more hours and make more money, and women work less hours and make less money. Does that need to be corrected? Feminism says 'equal pay for equal work' but realistically it's 'equal pay for less work'. The underlying issue is; what happens when individuals make choices that don't like up with perfe…
/r/MensRights02/12/13 07:25 PM
1

I agree completely. You may find that many feminist organizations do not. A male victim of DV will find himself in the position of being in-between traditionalists who can't see a man as a victim and feminists that who can only see him as an abuser.
/r/MensRights02/12/13 07:00 PM
7

If you have two people in a room together, you'll get three definitions of equality. To the MRM equality means equal custody, and the chance for men to be viewed as a victim of domestic violence rather than only a perpetrator. Feminism wants to protect and defend women from violent husbands. Both are ostensibly good goals, but can easily result in opposing policies. MRM will accuse feminism of feeding a bigoted pogrom against men & fathers, and Feminism will accuse the MRM of defending abusers.
/r/MensRights01/12/13 05:06 PM
5

I suggest you talk to someone who has tried that first. The police will show up and say. 'Where are your injuries? Do you have any bruising or cuts? Meanwhile she's sobbing and saying you were threatening her. Any bystanders will give her the benefit of the doubt. I had complete strangers get involved because they assumed that I had done something to her. Because otherwise why would she be hitting me? Enjoy being arrested by the police you called.
/r/MensRights19/11/13 06:55 PM
2

False dichotomy. Two groups can have similar stated goals without sharing the same policy decisions. We get posts like this at least once a week. "You must be confused, feminists just want good things. Therefore if you aren't feminist, you're promoting bad things." If only it were as simple as that. The best analogy I could draw to give you some perspective. Imagine that stereotypical Christian who posts on r/atheism going 'God means good stuff, so you must want bad stuff if you don't believe in…
/r/MensRights15/11/13 08:21 PM
4

I'd do everything I could to find my child, and file legal paperwork to gain custody. Then things would happen in this order: I'd have to leave my job/friends/community to follow her and be nearer to my child. Because otherwise I'd have no chance of gaining meaningful custody/visitation as an out of state father. Once my name is on the birth certificate the first legal order will be back child support for the time when I wasn't legally the father. This would happen prior to any custody or visita…
/r/MensRights13/11/13 12:26 AM
10

Very few plans didn't cover female BC. Pills are cheaper than pregnancies from an actuarial standpoint. The few insurance plans that didn't cover it were created specifically to meet the providers religious goals. E.g. A catholic university that provides a health insurance plan for students, but has a moral opposition to the use of birth control. There was a fairly large debate over this. Trying to determine if legally mandating that businesses cover BC was an infringement on their religious rig…
/r/MensRights11/11/13 07:42 PM
14

I believe the original panel was in response to the whole Sandra Fluke 'war on women' theme that was basically created whole cloth by a political party looking towards a contested election. The comic rightfully skewers how discussions like these are inflated to be an attack on all women. Intentionally mischaracterizing an opponents views is common theme in many political discussions.
/r/MensRights11/11/13 07:29 PM
1

The insurance companies rationalization is nothing nefarious. Simply that pregnancies are very expensive for the woman's health insurance provider. A health insurance provider gains little sterilizing a man because a man's expectation of future pregnancy is already zero. Reducing an insured woman's chance of future pregnancy is worth the actuarial cost. There is a similar decision at work when health insurance plans subsidize gym memberships.
/r/MensRights06/11/13 08:18 PM
2

VAWA itself doesn't refer to the Duluth model. It merely encourages states to adopt frameworks to reduce IPV. Many states adopt biased programs and use biased policies. As always it's hard to find bias enshrined explicitly in law, but what you have is a series of policy decisions that allow for and encourage bias.
/r/MensRights28/10/13 04:06 AM
2

Most men do want a 50/50 marriage. Show me a husband who wouldn't love the opportunity to throttle back those career ambitions for more time to be a father? Bluntly there are exceedingly few women who are comfortable with providing financially for anyone other than themselves. It's hard enough to find a woman who is self sufficient. Let alone ready to provide income to a family without resentment. 50/50 means you contribute to the kids college fund too lady. The problem isn't that men are avoidi…
/r/MensRights24/10/13 11:52 PM
1

Exceedingly rarely have women been conscripted throughout history. If the criterion is 'some countries did x at some point' you could find an example of almost anything. Most countries have been ruled by a woman at some point does that disprove discrimination against women? they're (women are) just as likely to die in any warzone and much more likely to brutally raped and beaten before doing so. I'm curious how you determined this. Combat deaths are extremely lopsided along gender lines. Torture…
/r/MensRights22/10/13 11:55 PM
1

Volunteering for the military is wholly different than conscription. A young man can be sent to die on a battlefield just because he's a man. Sending a man overseas for years to kill/die a horrible death for people he doesn't know = a ok Asking a pregnant woman to live with her own decisions for nine months = unconscionable.
/r/MensRights22/10/13 11:17 PM
1

Why do you feel that only men should be judged on statistics? More women commit child abuse. Should fathers become the preferred parent in custody proceedings?
/r/MensRights22/10/13 11:12 PM
1

How can you argue that harsher sentences for men should exist, but that legal discrimination should not. What do you think the first part means?
/r/MensRights22/10/13 11:06 PM
43

All feminist discussions with the MR movement summarized 1: MRM shouldn't exist men are already privileged and don't have issues. Yes they do. Lets have an exhaustive discussion about divorce, alimony, child custody, criminal law, violent crime rates etc.... 2: Ok well that's all just the patriarchy in disguise. Feminism has all these issues covered. But most feminist movements/organisations outright deny these issues, and in some cases further their negative effects. Citations of NOW over the y…
/r/MensRights22/10/13 10:59 PM
3

Because men are 49% of society? I'm not sure where you're getting the first one. What exactly do MRs seek to overturn that would result in more rapes/murders/assaults? What propensity do men have to commit rapes/murders/assaults? Does that justify institutional discrimination? Child support is less of an issue than child custody and alimony. The primary issue with divorce/child custody laws is the gendered manner in which they are applied. Men are less likely to get custody, less likely to be aw…
/r/MensRights22/10/13 10:13 PM
3

This is a great example of how men are in the stuck in the middle of a society rightfully focused on equality, but a court system that is still stuck in mindset of paternalism.
/r/MensRights11/10/13 03:56 PM
2

He didn't abandon his kids. His ex-wife sought to reduce visitation even further. We do care about children who grow up to be men. We don't want to see them exploited by the system in this manner. Why is it that you aren't acknowledging the wife's culpability here? If a male nurse switched babies around in a maternity ward people would have no problem seeking legal remedy from him.
/r/MensRights09/10/13 05:01 PM
2

'Join our label or your a bad person' The world hasn't changed at all. There have been plenty of times throughout history where labels that people use have been far removed from their actions in support of that label. If you're not a feminist then your a ____ etc... we've heard it before. edit: I don't mind visibility of your post. Precisely the opposite. I think everyone should see your posts. This one included. Have an upvote.
/r/MensRights04/10/13 09:05 PM
1

You're wrong in most of your points but I'm going to cherry pick where you are most wrong. RE: Liberalism The issue with political left-liberalism that many MR's have is that it mirrors some of the same value assumptions that feminism uses. The values that 'fairness' must be provided to someone at the expense of another. I'd put MR more in the realm of classical liberalism which would be described as libertarian by the current definitions. As men we aren't looking for legislative action or gover…
/r/MensRights04/10/13 07:32 PM
2

We don't seek to shut down anyone else's meetings/discussions. Who would we barricade? This meeting is an example of our activism. 'Real life activism' doesn't require silencing others.
/r/MensRights27/09/13 05:32 PM
3

I identify as an MRA primarily because of systemic father's rights and domestic violence issues that have affected me and many of the people in my life. Why I chose MR as opposed to other groups: Movements seeking change are rarely successful unless the changes they seek are direct, constructive and narrowly defined. Ideally you've got a large group of people all pushing for a singular change. The narrower the scope and the broader the group; the more likely success becomes. If I were to change …
/r/MensRights26/09/13 08:36 PM
0

Anyone have a link to the actual law? I wonder if it's written gender specifically.
/r/MensRights25/09/13 08:06 PM
5

Clearly that major is unmarketable because of the patriarchy.
/r/MensRights23/09/13 08:48 PM
1

Completely agree. It's easier to fight the values/polices than organizations/labels. You've articulated the issue precisely. Being anti-feminist gives the opposition the ability to paint us as traditionalists. 'MR's want to take away women's right to vote and turn them back into property' Citation <some MRA saying feminism is bad> 'See they oppose feminism and feminism means equal rights for women!' I think MR would be better off advocating on the issues directly. Don't say 'feminists oppose equ…
/r/MensRights19/09/13 03:45 PM
3

This is exactly what I mean. I could quote stats all year, but it won't change any opinions for this commenter. Kinder's convictions are obviously so far on the other side that he's/she's only here to find things that confirm an existing view. The view that any advocacy for men is inherently fascist, that any questioning of feminist organizations misogynist. I couldn't convince Kinder differently any more than a catholic could convert a protestant, or a democrat convert a republican. The only qu…
/r/MensRights19/09/13 03:24 PM
33

One of the problems that you'll have discussing MR issues is that people have internalized the idea of men being these nefarious abusers. Keep your identity small What happened to you is exactly why I avoid a 'statistical' debate. No one has ever changed their minds after being presented statistics contrary to their convictions. A more reasoned discussion could have been had by discussing the value of statistics as a means of guiding policy. Fighting over statistics is frustrating and not though…
/r/MensRights19/09/13 12:55 AM
5

Misleading conclusions are what I find most often. My favorite is the one about 1 in 4 women who are murdered are murdered by an intimate partner. For men it's 1 in 20. What is so insidious about this is technically correct. You see... men are murdered in such large numbers in total that comparatively few of them are because of DV. Quoting the stats in this manner neatly sidesteps that men are at vastly greater risk in general while sweeping under the rug that 30-40% of DV victims are male.
/r/MensRights18/09/13 07:21 AM
2

Not to diminish your issues. Here's what it's like in the states for an unwed father. Make a parenting agreement prior to birth. Mother accepts payment and assistance during pregnancy, then reneges at the last second and refuses to name you as the father. File paternity suit to seek legal remedy. Months later finally acknowledged as the father. No custody, no visitation. Back child support assigned with interest for the time when you weren't legally the father (and you'd already paid). Custody/v…
/r/MensRights17/09/13 07:45 PM
1

From the Article: "Furthermore, research consistently shows that 'men's violence is six times more likely to inflict severe injury and is more humiliating, coercive and controlling. Women's violence is more likely to be expressive in response to frustration and stress rather than purposeful with the intention to control and dominate.'" So women never hit men, and even when they do it's just because they are stressed out. 'It's not abusive when we do it.' Even if her stats were completely accurat…
/r/MensRights12/09/13 11:08 PM
4

Exactly. I laughed at the 36% of working women resent their partner for not making enough money for them to stay home with the kids. It would never occur to a man to resent someone for not making enough money to completely support them.
/r/MensRights12/09/13 01:46 AM
7

This is a mildly loaded question we receive often. Hopefully you'll find enough ammunition for your blog article or whatever. MR is not against the ideals of feminism. Women should absolutely be considered men's equal. Most MRAs are predominately concerned with issues unrelated to feminism directly. It's not an 'against feminism' view as much as a 'refuse to be co-opted by feminism' view. Additionally there are areas where MRs seek to correct societal views of men that contradict common viewpoin…
/r/MensRights12/09/13 01:34 AM
4

The 2011 Child Maltreatment report of US Department of Health and Human Services. Page 23 gives a pretty clear picture. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm11.pdf
/r/MensRights10/09/13 06:14 AM
5

There was a call in radio show that had this up for discussion. Almost all the people calling in (and one of the two hosts) said they would never consider a babysitter or daycare center with males in care roles. The reasons given were a mix of topics, but followed two general themes. Men who choose to spend time around children are inherently suspicious. Pedophiles/Sex offenders are predominately male. Of course they didn't discuss that most child abuse is done by women.
/r/MensRights10/09/13 01:03 AM
19

They will keep writing those checks until they bounce. No matter how much is given there will always be a reason that you owe more.
/r/MensRights06/09/13 10:48 PM
1

Do what you can to present cogent arguments, but it's up to them to change their opinions. Don't tie yourself in knots over it. Do your best to acknowledge internally that good people often have opposite opinions. Until they do change, just ignore them like any other bigots and go live your own life as soon as you can. Same thing you would have to do if your parents were racists or disapproved of your sexuality or career choices or etc...
/r/MensRights27/08/13 12:30 AM
1

It's not fair, but waiting longer will make it less fair. Otherwise mom will wait until the child is about 2-3 years old, and file a child support action against him. This will mean big payday for her, and zero visitation for him. Yes he needs a lawyer right away. At least until he can educate himself on family law. The beginning is the most important time. Family courts are all about the status quo. Once a routine is setup they won't want to change anything. Fair warning it can cost between $10…
/r/MensRights26/08/13 11:25 PM
2

IANAL, and you should find someone who is. A positive paternity test doesn't confer any legal parental rights. Your brother must petition the courts for parenting rights. FYI, the mother will delay him from filing as long as possible for two reasons: Because when the case finally goes to mediation/trial. It will give her a powerful argument in her favor. 'The child only knows me and Dad hasn't been around at all'. It won't matter that father wanted to be around. The court will assume that if he …
/r/MensRights26/08/13 10:24 PM
2

Abolish alimony. It's a throwback from when a husband made career decisions for his wife. Child support: Child support issues are better solved with fairer custody/visitation decisions. Most of the egregious abuses take place in the 'imputed income' areas, so I'd tune that area to be more formulaic and less up to a judges opinion.
/r/MensRights26/08/13 09:57 PM
1

How it works: If both parents live in the same area you have what's known as a 5-2-2-5. It works like this: Parent A Monday Tuesday Parent B Wednesday Thursday Alternate Friday/Saturday/Sunday. It's better than a week on week off because you can schedule things that happen on a weekly basis. Is it good for children: It's not ideal for the kiddo to have two homes, but it is significantly better than the alternative of losing contact with one parent. How it feels between the parents: 50:50 custody…
/r/MensRights26/08/13 09:15 PM
2

IANAL but I have been through a custody battle successfully. It's absolutely possible for a man to get custody, but it takes perseverance. The father must perform all activities completely above reproach while consistently petitioning the courts for more time. Understand that the mother will be given every excuse or any sort of poor behavior. The father will be under a magnifying glass bad behavior consistently implied in even the smallest interaction. She will get away with denying visitation. …
/r/MensRights24/08/13 12:21 AM
1

That's no reason to not live a full life. Just be aware that there are certain situations that are dangerous and unfair to you. Do what you can to protect yourself.
/r/MensRights23/08/13 07:57 PM
2

Men with custody receive child support. Statistically 55% of custodial mothers get a child support award and 30% of custodial fathers. There's a gap for sure, but it's not extreme. 1/2 mothers vs 1/3 fathers.
/r/MensRights21/08/13 07:41 PM
0

IMHO this isn't a mensrights issue. Somewhere there is a man fighting to see his kids, or trying to have a female stalker taken seriously by law enforcement. I'd hate to tell him that we spent all our time fighting over who picks up the tab on a date.
/r/MensRights20/08/13 05:13 PM
3

Just a reminder to people down voting. Don't downvote to show disagreement. GEK is here to ask questions. Lets be hospitable and encourage discussion rather than create an echo chamber.
/r/MensRights16/08/13 05:48 PM
7

On paper child support laws are unbiased. It's simply a mathematical formula that takes the incomes of both parents and distributes it based on parenting time. The problem is what happens when a parent stops working, and the downstream effects on custody. If a father doesn't work or works part time, he's given an imputed income as if he was working full time. Any furloughs, layoffs or change in his ability to work are seen as the father's problem to solve. In many cases, he'll have to work two l…
/r/MensRights14/08/13 03:04 PM
1

The line is generally "Feminism is pro-womens rights, MRAs are anti-feminism therefore the hate women and want to take away their rights." In general I don't see much reasoning beyond that simplistic false dichotomy (either with us or against us!). This is also furthered by the issues that the MRM seeks to address. If you seek to treat men as equal in the eyes of domestic violence and sexual assault, then to the opposition it appears you are 'defending abusers' because their definition of abuser…
/r/MensRights08/08/13 10:52 PM
3

I agree that MR should be focused more directly on men's issues rather than debating straw feminist policies. However, one of the primary issues that men face is being the subject of an ongoing moral panic. Partially driven by feminist organizations. MR has to fight both sides of the coin. Traditionalists will tell you to man up and get married. Feminists tend to see all men as the patriarchy. Both will gladly protect all these poor women at the expense of the evil men. Men are squeezed in a vis…
/r/MensRights04/08/13 12:26 AM
6

Why doesn't the ADL advocate for all religions? Why don't black civil rights groups focus on all forms of prejudice? Why don't all people just join a group called 'fairness' where we can make life fair for everyone? Answer: because fair means different things to different people. I wish the world were as simple as you describe, but unfortunately marginal groups that lack a singular focus tend to be co-opted quite easily by more mainstream views. There are changes I want to see in the world. I do…
/r/MensRights23/07/13 12:59 AM
2

MRA is about freeing men from their traditional gender roles, and addressing systemic issues that uniquely affect men as a gender. There is this societal view that only pictures the men at the top of the pyramid. We point at CEO's, government leaders, athletes, and try to paint all men with that brush. The reality for most men is that being born a man makes you more likely to be homeless or murdered rather than CEO or Congressman. There is some backlash against certain policies and views pushed …
/r/MensRights23/07/13 12:23 AM
1

Or the woman may be beautiful but the man is in a monogamous relationship.
/r/MensRights22/07/13 11:02 PM
1

What's wrong with better enforcement and more tools right? The problem is that in cases where the female is the abuser these tools are used as weapons to further abuse. Imagine the frustration of dealing with a female stalker who reports you for following her.
/r/MensRights16/07/13 06:34 PM
1

It depends on what your goals are. 'Winning the argument' according to your own internal values or giving someone enough perspective to understand your views. Combatively quoting statistics and calling anyone who disagrees with your conclusions a 'rabid ideologue' isn't the way to win people over. At best they will just quote their own statistics back at you. The reason I disabuse people of arguments based on statistics, is that fundamentally statistics are meaningless without the associated con…
/r/MensRights02/07/13 07:03 PM
10

If you reversed the genders, all the comments would still be attacking the husband.
/r/MensRights01/07/13 05:29 PM
4

First off never discuss numbers or statistics unless you're in a formal debate. Learn to make your points without that crutch. Most people who have this attitude have a preconceived caricature of what men are and what issues they deal with. The world through that lense is one of 'men are inherently given all these undeserved breaks so anyone complaining is a crybaby'. The best method I've found is to go the other direction. Oh dad's are idiots? So you think it's a women's place to raise children…
/r/MensRights27/06/13 11:34 PM
1

For those confused about the 'Resolved' section at the end. The author isn't concluding anything. Just setting up a formal debate. Most of the comic is showing how informal discussions bounce around without really focusing on any particular issue. A debate on the death penalty would start with something affirming the death penalty 'Resolved: capital punishment is a morally just tool for societies to deter crime'. Then the opposing side would construct it's own argument "Resolved: Societies frequ…
/r/MensRights18/06/13 05:53 PM
4

It doesn't matter that they called and you didn't. Men are routinely arrested by the police after calling them.
/r/MensRights17/06/13 07:28 PM
26

I encounter this type of thought process regularly. If you're John Q. Public who has had no experience with family courts, then you probably assume that the main issue is deadbeat dads who ditch their families to buy sports cars and date young women. Then you hear a father say something like: 'she hit me in front of my kids for years, but the courts refused to prosecute because I was never injured', or 'We have equal parenting time, but she just left the state, and I have no recourse'. The react…
/r/MensRights14/06/13 10:49 PM
3

I'm going to try and reach you on this. Feminism is more than just a semantic label to many MRAs. "...the whole thing made me a bit bitter towards mens rights because these particular group of guys used it to bully me" Name calling made you bitter towards mensrights. I want you to dig deep and think about how hurt and angry you were about this bullying. Take a moment, and try to bring up all those feelings of hurt that name calling caused you. Do you have children? Imagine how you'd feel if they…
/r/MensRights11/06/13 11:59 PM
4

I think the stated values are compatible, but not the policies. What most MRAs oppose are the policies which are supported by Feminist organizations. A good example would be Title IX vs Domestic Violence services (VAWA). When there's no women's sports team your school gets shut down. When there's no where for an abused father to turn, oh well, here's a pamphlet on how to not beat your wife.
/r/MensRights11/06/13 11:33 PM
2

The strife between Feminism and MRAs is about values vs policies. Most rational people agree that your gender should not determine your role or status in society. Both Feminism and MRAs trumpet the value of 'men and women treated equally'. The differences are when you ask the follow up question of 'how do we arrive at our goal of equality among the genders?' What does each side consider as 'fair' or 'equal'? This is where the controversy erupts. I'll provide a few examples: Feminists tend to vie…
/r/MensRights11/06/13 11:16 PM
1

The underlying problem is that feminism used the banner of equality in order to gain a leg up against men. So they make the assumption that we are looking for the same when we ask for equality. That's why you have conversations where it seems like you're talking past each other. E.G. If we say that we want DV proceedings to be less biased, what they hear is that we want more male abusers to get away with it. Feminists are consistent with the idea that men are inherently more abusive, so they bel…
/r/MensRights17/05/13 09:53 PM
5

Redditor for 8 days, and this is the only comment/submission.
/r/MensRights18/04/13 07:55 PM
5

It's more than just paying for dates though. No man became an MR because the server handed him the check instead of her. One of the ways we end up at odds with feminism is the reductionist attitudes we commonly see. If you're not allowed to make employment decisions for your spouse, state mandated alimony is exploitation (not just a 'perk'). Don't compare it to 'not wanting to pay for dates'. They are not even in the same ballpark. Real institutional biases exist against men. This is not about h…
/r/MensRights05/04/13 12:00 AM
5

An exceedingly small number of either gender is a CEO/Governor/Congressperson.
/r/MensRights04/04/13 11:15 PM
6

Thank you for encouraging and participating in legitimate discussion. We get a large number of troll threads that start along a similar theme. Where the OP quickly shows nothing but bigotry and hatred. I don't think that MR is fundamentally opposed to Feminism, or is even a direct reaction to it. MR is more about starting a similar discussion of societal expectations of men. It's one thing to hold men to a certain institutional biases when they are 'in charge', but what happens now that they are…
/r/MensRights04/04/13 10:31 PM
92

MR is neither conservative nor liberal. Both are two sides of the male disposability coin. Traditionalist conservatives will tell you to man up and get married, and then send you to war. Leftwing liberals tend to be associated with feminism and will gladly 'protect' all these poor fragile women at the expense of men (VAWA). Men are squeezed in a vise between the forces of feminism's leftwing brand of 'fairness' and traditional conservative values of the male role. Both sides only see different v…
/r/MensRights03/04/13 12:24 AM
3

Your caricature of a father reveals your bigotry. You immediately assume a mother is making some sort of heroic sacrifice, and the father is just being selfish. I challenge you to examine why you automatically assume a mother isn't saying 'fuck this' when leaving a child, but a father is.
/r/MensRights02/04/13 08:40 PM
2

We can agree that the ideal situation is one where the father and mother are both capable parents and involved in the child's life. Abandoning kids is not anyone's goal. The issue is that in many cases involving both parents cause more problems than it would solve. Family court can be extremely adversarial. Ruinous custody battles are all too common. Why spend fortunes fighting for 18 years when the decision could be reached amicably before the child is born? This should go for women as well. I …
/r/MensRights02/04/13 08:33 PM
2

There have been high profile men as victims, but they are shown to have 'deserved it' somehow. The female's actions are always explained away. Consider how Chris Brown was treated as opposed to Ellin Nordegren. How do you explain that the justice system is used as a shield for female victims, but a sword against male victims?
/r/MensRights01/03/13 12:53 AM
4

No one will make headway opposing a 'Violence Against Women Act'. It's like trying to vote against the 'Feed Poor Kids Act'. They could put anything under these headings. We can't fight this, no matter how many facts and citations we have. It may win the occasional argument, but it won't sway public opinion. We need to find a concise way to label this accurately. A concise way to fight it. Otherwise we have another round of billions in funding going to reinforce the 'women can only be victims an…
/r/MensRights01/03/13 12:44 AM
4

Politicians are interested in winning elections. The is the same reason the Whitehouse PR for 'domestic violence month' was focused on violence against women, and Intimate Partner Violence. It's widely known that children are the majority victims of domestic violence, and women are primarily the perpetrators of child abuse. But children don't vote and women do.
/r/MensRights15/02/13 10:51 PM
4

Reneging
/r/MensRights05/02/13 05:01 PM
1

I could see the case either way. We need to examine the draft and the circumstances under which it would be used. In a true SHTF situation, we can't hide behind abstract ideas of the way the world should be. Real wars have harsh economic realities. Every dollar spent in training is a dollar not spent on bullets and body armor. Imagine we have a line with trained soldiers on one side, and civilians on the other. The goal of the draft would be to get as many from one side to the other as soon and …
/r/MensRights04/02/13 05:41 PM
6

For someone close to you, you need to give them the benefit of at least one good warning. Take some time where you both can sit down and have an honest discussion ('we need to talk'). Then detail what she's done and how it's not ok. Ask her how she would feel if she were treated that way. If you treated women the way she treats men. It's important that you do this in an assertive but calm manner. She will probably try to derail you, or escalate the situation. It's important not to become agitate…
/r/MensRights04/02/13 04:38 PM
1

The list for number one is longer than you would think. Number two of course. Perhaps you know of some rights they are denied now in western democracies?
/r/MensRights03/02/13 02:12 AM
2

Something else I'm seeing as a common theme in other responses. You make the association that feminism = women's equality, and therefore anti-feminism = anti-women's equality. Further that since Feminism doesn't have 'oppress men' as a stated goal, that they are somehow immune from furthering oppression. There are active and well funded organizations which claim to be Feminist and take actions contrary to the way you may see Feminism as a movement. It's these organizations, and actions taken in …
/r/MensRights03/02/13 12:02 AM
3

I agree that the MRM shouldn't be about Feminism or a reaction to Feminism. The problem is the definitions that both sides use are at odds. Hard line Feminism defines an 'oppressor class' that all males inherently belong too. Even moderate Feminism has 'men' as the primary causes of female abuse (at least historically if not currently). Fundamentally the view is: Men are in charge, and the world in unfair, ergo Men are responsible for unfairness. This tends to create the dismissive attitude many…
/r/MensRights02/02/13 11:16 PM
4

I'd ask you to look inward. What converted you? In my opinion itinerant blogs like AVFM and 'Girl Writes What' are too confrontational. They are appealing to people who are already open to the idea of a MRM. To everyone else it just comes off as combative and hyperbolic. Mindlessly quoting statistics and suicide rates doesn't work either. No one actually wants to get into a debate about this stuff. The only success I've had is trying to associate it with something already personal to them. Most …
/r/MensRights01/02/13 09:27 PM
5

Been there. Paid for two years. Now she pays me. You have to steer into the skid. Fathers get into trouble with this when they try to avoid legal options rather than face them. The ones who end up like your doctor and bartender friends, are the ones who tried to avoid facing the situation. The longer you wait the harder it gets. I wish you the best, and I want you to succeed so it's time to get your head on straight. Family courts are designed to run over fathers who are just interested in getti…
/r/MensRights01/02/13 01:34 AM
3

It's more important to establish that the MRM first and foremost isn't about feminism. Lets not get drawn into an argument about what feminism is or isn't. That only steers the debate back to women's issues and the oppression Olympics. Lets focus on the issues that men face due to their gender.
/r/MensRights01/02/13 01:06 AM
4

When dealing with an aggressive female stalker/ex, a man will find out that they are on their own. Law enforcement involvement will almost never help, and can commonly become a tool of further abuse. If there is any sort of physical contact, it will be interpreted in a way that will disadvantage the man. If the woman is injured (even self-inflicted) the man is going to jail. If the man injured it's just evidence of the degree to which she was 'in fear' while she defended herself. The joke I'd al…
/r/MensRights03/01/13 09:01 PM
0

Maybe he was trying to meet your security expectations? If a bike shop in LA had none of the bikes locked up, a customer could get agitated or judge the owner harshly. Perhaps he did that to make you more comfortable that your bike wouldn't get stolen? Try to assume the best in people. It's not like he locked up all the bikes when he saw you coming.
/r/MensRights27/12/12 06:50 PM
3

To paraphrase, you're coming from a standpoint of rape = bad, ergo anti-rape poster = good. Logically all of the situations proposed are rape, and you'll find that most people agree with the definitions you present. Mensrights isn't about reducing the legal standards for sexual assault. It's about consistent gender neutral standards for sexual assault. The context and gender are the only things that /r/mensrights would debate. By asking that we not debate the gender bias in the posters you're el…
/r/MensRights05/12/12 01:23 AM
2

Same reason that Republicans and Democrats do it. See also: Liberals and Conservatives, Israelis and Palestinians, Protestants and Catholics etc... etc... Because the 'us vs them' is a well known method of gaining power among your own group. You see this across all areas of politics. If you are currently in power you use it as a pretext to oppress your opposition. If you are seeking power it's a method of demonizing any act of leadership.
/r/MensRights30/11/12 09:55 PM
2

Exaggerating the truth isn't necessary. She pointed a gun at him and his toddler son. Any woman in this situation would be told to leave with the child immediately and never return. To insist on supervised visitation if any was granted. It's not playing politics per se. Just recognizing the biased worldview of a system that will put you and your child in danger. It's sad that he's on his own here and the courts/police won't protect him, but there are actions he can take to make it harder on thos…
/r/MensRights31/10/12 05:47 PM
1

Part of the problem with law enforcement and courts is political. The reason his crappy attorney told him to plead guilty is that she realizes that no judge gets voted out of office for protecting a pregnant mother against a 'deadbeat' boyfriend. You also see similar behavior from police. They will all judge you as someone who didn't just 'man up and get married'. Your brother needs to know these things because you can bet she knows it. That fight was an obvious setup. The way to respond to this…
/r/MensRights29/10/12 11:25 PM
3

When it comes to parenting you get bias from both sides. You'll get judged by republicans for not just 'staying married'. Left wingers just use 'privilege' and cooked statistics. Both sides generally sell themselves as protecting women and fixing men. Given the recent 'war on women' rhetoric from the left (along with Biden/VAWA), I'd probably lean right wing as the lesser evil.
/r/MensRights11/10/12 08:28 PM
10

This has always been my argument. That most (at least some) companies would value bottom line over anything else. The responses fall into two categories: (tinfoil) Companies/markets are controlled by men, and any company that did this would get forced out. (baffling) How would any work get done in an all female company? They would gossip/fight/talk too much. Anyone who responds with #1 I follow up with "where are these companies who hire women and subsequently shut down? Why has that never happe…
/r/MensRights26/09/12 11:32 PM
1

So when are we storming the bastille? You realize that's the motto of France right?
/r/MensRights26/09/12 11:15 PM
13

Court orders aren't worth as much as you'd think. No one is going to sanction a public school over what they see as your hurt feelings (and schools know this). Many states have laws about joint custody situations in which the parties must agree not to impede access to a child's information. It's extremely difficult to get anyone sanctioned for this as well. Schools are setup to deal with complaining parents, you will burn a lot of time and get nowhere. You're better off going after mom rather th…
/r/MensRights26/09/12 10:30 PM
3

There is a fundamental disconnect between the views of modern MRA's and Feminists. It's not as simple as "equal rights" because each side has different definitions of rights.
/r/MensRights21/09/12 11:00 PM
3

The converse speech is often given to boys. "Some women will hurt you, but that doesn't mean you should treat the next one differently". We expect men to be perpetually naive, and women to be paranoid. Neither is correct. Most people learn their lessons the hard way anyway. I plan on teaching my kids how to identify a problem, and give them the backbone to solve it. I'll be happy if that sticks.
/r/MensRights18/09/12 11:10 PM
2

Men are more often the victim of every violent crime except rape. The debate over crime risks and privilege are disingenuous because the choose to pick the only class of violent crime where women are the majority victim. It's like saying men are privileged because they don't get breast cancer as often.
/r/MensRights24/08/12 09:28 PM
21

Just going to let you know up front that you won't get anywhere with this without court orders spelling it all out. Even with a court order there isn't much you can do. In my experience it goes something like this: Fight for months in court to get an order giving you the right to pick up from school/daycare. File the papers with the school. School at the behest of the mother ignores/misplaces paperwork. Call Police and police say the order is 'unclear', and you need to go back to court to sort i…
/r/MensRights24/08/12 09:06 PM
2

"Every woman that wronged me got away with it" It goes further than this. If a woman could attack you and get away with it that's bad, but in today's world she can attack and you don't get away with it. Lets say a man a woman fight. If the woman is injured the assumption is 'that man is a monster!' regardless of the cause. If a man is injured the assumption is 'wow she must have really needed to defend herself to go that far'.
/r/MensRights01/06/12 08:21 PM
1

The key is to unwind any joint obligations as quickly as possible. No loans/bank accounts/phones/houses/bills of any kind should have both of your names. The way to do this is to close the accounts. Don't trust a company that says "your name is off the account", because it will be right back on there once she doesn't pay. Next put a fraud-check number on your credit report. Basically it's just a note that says call your phone number before issuing credit. More Guys/Gals get hosed by exes outside…
/r/MensRights18/04/12 09:42 PM
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