Ex-wife and I were together for nearly 20 years.

I made plenty of mistakes from 2005 until she said she was divorcing me in 2022. Most of my mistakes were financial (ie. buying car parts or computer parts) without really planning for the future. Despite always being paid a good wage, I stayed at a job that I was incredibly comfortable at, instead of pushing myself to go into a more corporate job. This hurt our changes of buying a house when the market crashed hard... A detail that she made sure that I was aware of for the last 12 years on a regular basis. I was always faithful to her and truly believed that 'she was the one.' We even have a son and is well on his way to being 10 years old.

As I've learned from her family (we're still on really good terms) that she has been lying to me about quite a few things, including when her family would 'gift' her/us money. It turns out that she was asking for the money, but only ever told me that they 'gifted it' to her/us. She was also an active wedge between some of my friends and I, to the point where I had not spoken with some of them in 10 years.

In 2019 she told me 'if you want sex, get it from someone else.' I refused, as I only wanted to be with her. Covid hit and we were on lockdown. 2022 rolls around and things are open again. She had a long distance friend that was visiting. Yes, it is a guy. Me not wanting to believe what might be happening, accepted her words of 'just friends.'

They spent quite a bit of time together, while I was at home with our son.

I finally decided to seek affection elsewhere, and I found it. I met a lady and we had lunch and kissed. That's it.

I was happy.

My ex saw this that thought that I was going insane, because I was calm, smiling and way more patient than usual.

So, one weekend when I was working on her car, she logged into my computer and looked through my chat logs. She texted me while I was working on her car - she was clearly furious - and said there was nothing left between us. Later than night she said that she was going to divorce me. I pleaded with her, asking her if there was anything I could do to repair this, which she responded to me with a death glare.

I accepted it. 2 weeks later she informed me that she was now dating the same guy that visited recently.

I was already distant, but became very, very distant to her over the next several months - I basically didn't talk to her unless it was about our son. She on the other hand, was happy as a clam, as it was very clear that she was living it up.

Early spring of 2023 my ex walks in with a large rock on her finger - they are engaged. It turns out they've been talking since sometime in 2019.

I didn't go looking for affection from any other lady until the late summer of 2023, after we were officially divorced, and she meddled in that a ton. Making it impossible to talk on the phone, all making it impossible to see her (total days in 6 months), and her general attitude towards me around our son.

All that meddling, plus things I saw as time went on with that lady, had me ending that relationship in early 2024.

We get to summer of this year and another lady that I've known for nearly 30 years comes back into my life. I made it clear from the onset "I am not looking for a relationship. I just want to talk to a friend." And as we talked more, I felt more and more comfortable talking with her, and we had a lot of really deep talks about personal/private things that ran the spectrum from music to family life to our childhoods (the good and horrible parts).

Needless to say, despite being divorced for nearly a year, my ex still meddled in that situation.

I moved out, as my ex had screamed for me to do, and my life instantly changed. I finally felt comfortable and happy. I'm guessing that became clear, and my ex began doing everything she could to hurt me in any way she could. At this time, we did not have a visitation schedule, as we were living under the same roof until 6 weeks prior. So, somehow, instead of our son changing every 1-2 nights where he wanted to stay, he suddenly wanted to stay with her 5 nights in a row. Shockingly, he only wanted to stay with me on the weekends.

So, we go to mediation for child custody, and she goes for sole custody and that is declined - it is nearly 50/50.

She then moves 34 miles away, stating in that area that our son will get better care (he is special needs). I don't fight the move, as it is what is best for our son.

I've taken on the majority of driving duty as per picking up and dropping off our son. That hits my fuel bill, as well as a bridge toll.

Today we went through child support, and she used every bit against me. Instead of the near 50/50 custody, the judge states that I in fact have 28%. I'm ordered to pay an amount that I cannot afford. The judge effectively ignores my words.

Of course, the fact that her fiancee is sending her money, was not brought up, whereas the only money that I have is what I earn.

I've already applied for several jobs - one is a 2nd job, whereas the others would be replacement of my primary. I'm already in the process of liquidating all of my 'extra stuff' in storage, I'm going to be selling other items that I get from friends, going to be a wrench for hire as well.

I will be going back to the mediator in regards to our custody agreement, as it needs to be adjusted, and re-submitted to the courts.

I am not innocent at all, but I don't believe that my actions warrant the current outcome.

So, what are my legal options? Can I object to the judge's order?