Sorry if this isn't really the right place but I posted this before elsewhere and basically had no advice either way.

So've been wrestling with this for some time now.

A few years ago I started dating someone I met at my works Christmas party. We got on great, and things escalated quite quickly having sex on the second real date, we were both quite high drives so it wasn't that weird.

I'd noticed over the next few months that she was quite pushy when it came to having sex and would always get pushy and pouty if I wasn't in the mood. I have a condition that gives my hips chronic pain and so sometimes I'm just not feeling it.

Fast forward a few months and we're invited to one of their university friends house party. It's a 50 mile drive away so we made a weekend if it.

I ended up getting quite drunk to the point of not quite passing out, and basically trying to find somewhere to sleep. My ex leads me upstairs to a bedroom which I thought was where we were staying, and I go to lie down.

I don't really remember much or in what order things happened but essentially my ex was trying to get me to have sex with her and I remember not being into it, trying to turn on my stomach so I could sleep. I'm not sure if I consented or if I just gave in so as to not hurt them or my hips or if I was just too asleep to protest. But she had sex with me.

After which my ex drags me downstairs and walks me the mile to the place we're actually staying, while my legs are just about dead at this point.

I remember being very quiet the next morning. Driving us home, feeling pretty sick in every sense of the word. I broke up with her a week or so later which absolutely crushed her but never told her the real reason.

Due to my proximity because of work and friends we ended up somewhat getting back together a few months later. I guess my mind set was combination of maybe I misremembered what happened or maybe that's not the real her. Neither of us are particularly mentally healthy people and I'm sure that codependency had something to do with it too.

We ended up having an on again off again thing, with neither of us behaving well inbetween and her darker side rearing it's ugly head occasionally. Either in her behaviour if I wasn't in the mood or just continually touching and playing with me if she was in the mood and I wasn't. I wouldn't stop it so as to end up hurting her feelings but it was just kind of nothingness.

She finally ended things last year after I'd pretty much just switched off from the world. I had no job after a move and several other outside things had broken down too.

She left angry and I haven't spoken to them since.

So my question is do I confront her about what happened? Why things broke down. I genuinely don't think they had any idea they'd done anything wrong. I'm angry deep down that they were the ones that left angrily. Being made to be the guilty one.

It's not something that would likely ever go to court considering the circumstances and our continued contact which I've come to terms with. I just want them to know what they did.

Thank you for reading.

Tl;Dr: I don't think my ex realises she raped me. Do I confront her about it even though we haven't talked in nearly a year?