I recently decided to go Ghost, in an effort to simplify my life. Its a way of living that, while sad, is becoming necessary in the twenty-first century. It involves becoming invisible to women, so as to avoid bringing down their wrath and legal destruction upon you.

*Step one: realize that women do not want to sleep with you. * If you are not handsome, women do not want to sleep with you. Full stop, end of paragraph. No amount of gym-hitting is likely to change that. The best that can be said is that they would want the things that sleeping with you brings: your money, your sperm, your security, etc.

So I took out my phone, and, with a little ceremony, deleted all my female contacts. You know, the female 'friends' you have because they need something from you, and you thought you could parley it into a sexual relationship. As each one bit the dust, I told it 'install your own software' 'find a babysitter' 'find a fucking therapist'.

I have never felt so free in my life.